Hard Habit To Break
by EarlyMorningWriter
Summary: Once bitten, twice shy Navy Lieutenant Kara Foster's attempt at a no strings attached shore side fling with handsome Danny Green is exactly what she thinks she needs after a stressful cruise. Before long, Kara and Danny are forced to delve into their deepest fears about life and love to decide if they should risk everything for each other.
1. Chapter 1 - I Love Rock and Roll

This fic has been previously published on another site so if you're super impatient you can head over there. On the other hand, I have decided to add a few chapters to the version I'm posting here so maybe you'll want to stick around. This fic is rated M as a whole (This particular chapter is rated T but the next is M and from there on there are M's peppered throughout.). If you aren't comfortable with healthy adult sexuality then you might want to skip it. There're lots of other great fics out there minus the smut. I tried to keep the characters as true to the show as I could but since this is a backstory fic, there's a lot of filling in the blanks that comes out of my sorry excuse for an imagination. I'm going to try to keep the chapter postings coming every day to two days apart.

-EMW

**I Love Rock n' Roll, Joan Jett**

Kara looked out over the crowded bar as she waited for her drink. It was a warm March evening in the Norfolk, Virginia hotspot. She made eye contact with a guy five or six people down the bar. He gave her a chin nod and smiled. He was a good looking man, tall with a shaved head, tan skin, and… the tell tale outline of dog tags on his chest. Nope, not for her. She looked away without nodding back.

"Sorry for my reach." A man's voice sounded from the other side of her as a long arm reached past to place a 20 on the bar and pick up three bottles of beer. "You shut him down quick. Don't want to get elbowed in the ribs for invading your space." There was no mistaking the note of amusement in his voice. She was so tightly packed in that she couldn't really turn to see him, but the wrist and forearm that showed beyond his neatly rolled up oxford was large and capable looking with a light smattering of freckles and a few scars showing white against a light tan peppered with cinnamon freckles. Kara fought the urge to run a finger over them to feel the texture of his skin. From the mirror behind the bar she could make out that he was tall with a sandy beard.

"I wasn't interested in him. No point wasting anyone's time." She signaled to the bartender that she was ready to order and asked for two mojitos, a sloe gin fizz, a vodka collins, and a sidecar. She slid a 50 across the bar. When she looked up again the freckled man was gone.

The crowd of twenty and thirty somethings was taking advantage of the nice weather to show a little additional skin. Kara was no exception. Her short black skirt and seashell pink bandeau top felt particularly freeing after 10 months at sea in her usual uniform. Add to that the strappy gold heels and the sweep of dark hair teased over her shoulders and she felt positively decedent. As they did every time they got into port, she and her girlfriends were out for 80's night, and they were all in high spirits.

Accepting the tray of drinks, she made her way to the high top table where her friends giggled and crowd watched as they caught up on the best gossip. Since Kara's ship, the USS Nathan James, had been operating in a communication blackout for the last two months, there was a lot of juicy news to catch up on. Plus, the beat of a Michael Jackson song had her bobbing her head and tapping her feet in anticipation of some fun dancing to come.

"Did you hear that Riley got passed over for promotion again? A petite girl named Sarah was passing on the news from her location tucked up against the taller frame of her girlfriend Alicia. Alicia's dark yes grew round. "You mean my Riley?"

"Yep, well I told you she wasn't too smart if she didn't stick with you, right sweetie?" Sarah, a willowy woman of Asian decent smiled at her partner reassuringly. "So now you have proof. Six years out of the academy and she's still an ensign."

Alicia laughed. "You were right about that, and that I was the one who lucked out in that break-up."

As the two women turned to kiss Denise scoffed good naturally "Knock it off lovebirds. You know the rest of us have gotten any for 10 months and we won't unless you help us find some prime targets soon. You can go snuggle at home later. Right now, Lieutenants Foster, Nelson, and Zimmerman need to find some sweet lovin' stat."

The group laughed and began to scan the crowd. "Hot guys at 2 o'clock, 6 o'clock, and 9 o'clock." reported Kara in the voice she usually reserved for status reports in the CIC

"I call 6 o'clock, going in fast and dirty." Said Georgina Zimmerman as she peeled off from the group and began approaching a group of guys directly across the circular bar from them. As they shifted to accept Georgina into their group she saw that one of the guys with his back to her was likely the man from the bar earlier. He was tall with the upright posture of a soldier and between that, the close cut sandy brown hair, and muscles he looked like the kind of guy Kara would prefer to avoid. But then again, he had a beard and an oxford rolled at the cuffs over a plain tee that had her hoping he was some kind of accountant or computer programmer or something else she could work with.

"Ugh, she's breaking code." LTJG Denise Nelson disparaged to the rest of the group. Kara looked the guy over again and was surprised when he turned and met her gaze directly over Georgina's artful toss of blond curls. Tall, shoulders a girl could rest her head on, and twinkling green eyes. Oh yes, he might look like he belonged in a uniform but then again he looked worth it. "You're new Denise, otherwise you'd know that Georgie always ignores The Code. If he's hot and willing she goes for it, even if he turns out to be in her chain." Kara remarked, still not breaking eye contact with the guy. His smile felt like he was issuing a challenges across the room somehow. She felt the warm heat of her blush all the way up to her hairline and resisted the urge to let her hair fall forward and hide her face.

"Well, why did she make me come up with this whole back story about being a kindergarten teacher if she's going to spill the beans right off the bat?" Denise wrinkled her brow in confusion. "I thought the rule was no dating military or guys who are into the military?"

"Trust me," Kara watched Georgie start to talk animatedly to the men. The man with the sandy hair threw his head back and laughed at something she said and then nodded and turned to the bar to order more drinks. She was smiling now too as she advised "Georgie is better at the hookup game than anyone. If she promises that kindergarten teacher will break a 10 month drought, I'd go with it." She grinned at the younger woman, relieved that the man with the intense gaze had turned away. The women sipped their drinks while continuing to watch the crowd.

"Yeah," Alicia chimed in. "Look, it took her 30 seconds to get that one to buy her a drink...and now she's on a first name basis with his buddies too." They watched as Georgie shook hands with a handsome man with a recently shaved head and another man with several colorful tattoos peaking out from under his shirts sleeves. Georgie began leading them over to the rest of her friends. Alicia and Sarah exchanged a glance. "It's 80's night, we gotta dance. See you ladies on the floor." The two women headed to the dance floor hand in hand.

"Wait, what about safety in numbers?" Called Denise as Kara laughed. But Alicia and Sarah just waved them off and disappeared into the crowd. "They're coming this way, I call the tattoo guy." she reported to Kara. "Quick, what's your story?"

"Scuba instructor on cruise ships out of Virginia Beach...exotic, explains being fit, and it gives me an excuse to have to leave town." She felt nervous, and she never felt nervous around men. Then again, she rarely dated and never hooked up either but, she'd promised Georgie she'd try tonight, before she was an old lady surrounded by her 75 cats. She took a steadying breath while smoothing her skirt and checking her hair with the other hand. She knew she could attract men if she put a little effort toward it and she'd had a few opportunities for shore leave hookups before. But the sandy haired man's assessing gaze earlier made her feel less sure of herself. Bolstering her confidence with her own advice she continued "It's always worked for me even if I've never actually followed through on the potential encounters." Glancing back to where the group had been standing she saw the man gesture politely for Georgina to lead the way. She was indeed bringing the whole group their way and Kara fought a moment of panic as she realized he was still watching her as he crossed the room.

Georgie beamed from ear to ear as she introduced the men. "Ladies, I have found us some interesting company to join us for drinks." Kara edged closer to Denise to make room as they all circled the table. The intense man spoke first, establishing himself as the leader of the group. He had a strong, warm voice that reminded Kara of her father. The note of confidence and authority were unmistakable. "So, I hope you don't mind, but we were just about to get a round of shots when Georgina invited us to join you so I asked the waitress to bring some for us all."

Leading in with shots? Kara raised an eyebrow but said nothing about that. Georgie did always go for the wild ones. Although, she noticed Georgie had wedged herself next to the buff black guy. Well, I guess it's go time, thought Kara, careful not to make too much eye contact with any man in particular. "Hi." She made a rainbow kind of wave toward the whole group, like a middle schooler, her inner voice cringed. "Sounds like fun. I'm Kara." Denise followed suit, although her introduction seemed to be more directed at Mr. Tat in specific. That left Kara with Mr. Sandy.

Georgie made introductions as the waitress arrived with a bottle and told the shaved head guy she'd add it to his tab. So, thought Kara, Tat guy was Scott. Shaved head guy was Frankie. And Sandy, whose fingertips just grazed hers with an electric shock as he passed over a shot glass, was named Danny.

Shaking off the unexpected jolt she asked "Are you drinking to celebrate something or are you guys just drinking to drink?"

When he smiled back at her his green eyes wrinkled at the corners and she felt an answering wriggle somewhere in her midsection. "A nice summer evening with lovely ladies for company is reason enough."

She couldn't help but smile back even though that should have sounded corny from anyone under 60. She was surprised to feel herself attracted to him even more. Normally such a line just annoyed her, but somehow this time it didn't.

"Well then here's to an evening of possibilities." Georgie winked at Kara and raised her glass. After a chorus of responses they downed the burning liquor then launched into the next round of introductions going over who does what and where they live. The conversation rapidly bounced back and forth between the men and women. George gave out her fictional career, travel writer, just in town to visit her girlfriends for a long weekend. Frankie it turned out was a police officer, Danny said he was a scuba instructor, and Scott was a dog trainer.

Denise totally pulled off kindergarten teacher with her dimpled smile and perky ponytail. Suddenly that guy Scott was looking speculatively at the younger woman. Georgie had clearly claimed Frankie. So Kara was going to be left with Danny, the intense guy, scuba guy. It was going to be her turn and shit, she couldn't say scuba instructor now. She had taken some classes but she didn't know enough to pass herself off as an instructor with someone who did it for a living. She felt his gaze on her and she panicked. "I'm a meteorologist." She managed to stammer out. "Well, sort of. Not the TV kind. The data analysis and, um, computers and.."

"You're pretty enough to be on TV." Blurted out Scott, the tat guy, from one side of her.

Denise frowned and put her hand on his arm, clearly claiming him for the evening. Denise made an attempt to shift Scott's attention away from Kara. "Do you have tattoos all over?"

He laughed and waggled his eyebrows at her. "Maybe you can find out later."

Kara rolled her eyes. Her cheese-meter was apparently working fine after all, so she didn't know why she still wanted to drag Sandy Danny into a corner to get to know him better. She watched as he took a long pull on his beer. He had one of those upper bodies that just screamed I-could-throw-you-over-my-shoulder-and-carry-you-off-to-my-cave-if-I-wanted-to. She began to blush as she realized he was aware she was staring at him.

Georgie saved her with an impish smirk. "What Kara's saying is that she's a nerd. She hardly ever gets away from all those computers of hers, and she needs to let loose for once. Let's get some more drinks in her and get her to dance." Thanks Georgie, she thought. But her nerd status didn't seem to deter the men at all. It wasn't long before they joined Alicia and Sarah on the dance floor to Rock the Casbah.


	2. Chapter 2 - I Want You to Want Me

**Warning:** This chapter earns its M rating so if you enjoy reading about consenting adults enjoying each other, then you have come to the right place. If not, Check out the many other awesome reads in the other rating categories.

 ****I Want You to Want Me, Cheap Trick****

"So," Danny was close behind her. They had been dancing all evening. She could feel his firm biceps and thighs pressing against hers. Heat was pooling in her stomach that had nothing to do with the temperature in the crowded bar anymore. Everything about him dwarfed her. Even in her heels she wasn't quite at eye level. And although she was a strong and fit woman, she knew he could easily overpower her if he wanted to. But still, she wasn't worried. He had a bit of a boy scout character to him. And he smelled heavenly.

She turned her head so it tucked a little more under his chin. "Go on. I'm listening."

She could feel him smile even though she couldn't see it. "I was trying to decide if you'd be offended if I asked you if you wanted to get out of here." Now it was her turn to smile. She really wanted to take him home with her.

But crap, her mom was there and there was Navy stuff all over the place. "Um, yeah." She began to turn to face him. She watched his bright eyes to see how he responded because she was feeling a little nervous about what he might think of her forwardness. "It will have to be your place though. I'm just sleeping on my mom's couch until I head back to Kansas." God, how pathetic that sounded to her ears. She really should have come up with a better backstory.

His eyes crinkled at the corners and she realized that he must be a few years older than her. "You're pretty direct, aren't you? I was going to start with walking along the pier and then maybe a coffee and then, if you let me kiss you, I'd see if you were interested in more." He began steering her toward the door. "Do you need to get a coat or anything?"

"No, not in this weather." She giggled. God, she never giggled. She was a Lieutenant in the Navy for goodness sakes. She didn't giggle. It must be the alcohol she thought. "I bet that sequence works on all the girls."

"Actually, I don't usually do this." He flashed her a grin that made her knees melt. She'd bet he didn't do this. He probably didn't need to. He could pick up a woman at the grocery store just by smiling at her over a pile of broccoli. She waved to Sarah and Alicia, so that they would know where she was going, but they only grinned and gave her four thumbs up. He was guiding her out the door and into the fresh night air with a warm hand in the curve of her back. The cooler air should have sobered her up a bit but instead her head whirled and she cuddled deeper into his side.

"Me either." She confessed. She never went out and hooked up. Even at the academy she'd never just had sex with someone she wasn't dating. She hadn't had a boyfriend in a few years either, preferring to focus on her career. But being at sea could be lonely. A few days ago she'd caught herself watching some men unload cargo at the docks and suddenly realized that despite her best self-care efforts, some of her needs just weren't getting met. Right now she was feeling those needs pretty strongly and she didn't care if this was going to be a hookup. She was due to go back to work in two weeks. She wasn't looking for a boyfriend, but some physical contact would be nice.

"I can tell." He sounded pretty sure of himself. She wasn't certain whether to be flattered or offended.

"Well aren't you sure of yourself?" She quipped. "Tell me, how can you tell?" She could feel the warmth of his thumb where it brushed the bare skin that was peeking out from under her crop top. Delicious tingles were climbing her spine from that point. His hands were large and calloused and they felt sure and confident on her body. She was looking forward to feeling them all over her body next. She hoped his reply was satisfactory because she'd hate to have to pass on what promised to be a very satisfactory physical experience.

He turned more toward her. "I can tell because I get the impression you don't let your hair down often." His eyebrows rose as if challenging her to argue. "Literally and figuratively." He brought his hand up underneath the fall of her hair and his thumb brushed the back of her exposed neck. She couldn't help but shiver in response. "You are drop dead gorgeous but you act like you don't know it. In the club you were dancing so freely, like no one was watching you, but every guy there had his eyes on you. If you did this often you'd be aware of that, and play up to it." He swept her hair to the side and leaned down to kiss her bare shoulder. She couldn't help but breathe out in a rush. She wanted to turn and grab his lips in hers but she didn't want to be too aggressive either.

"If you did this all the time" his breath caressed the skin of her shoulder "you'd be too bored by this to enjoy it the way I can feel you enjoying it." He kissed the curve of her neck softly and her eyes fluttered shut for just a moment. Holy Crap, this guy was either going to be amazing in bed or a serial killer. She was really hoping for the first. "Or this" he kissed the underside of her jaw. Her breath caught in anticipation of his lips on hers. She turned so that her body was pressed against his against the cooling night air. She could feel his long legs running along hers. Given his height, she felt his knees against her thighs, his firm hips against the soft curve of her stomach. Her breasts were pressed against his impressively hard abdomen. She tilted her head up and kissed his pulse point, nibbling lightly.

"If I was used to this kind of thing, would I do this?" His skin smelled clean and warm. His beard tickled her forehead. Beneath her hands his biceps tightened slightly.

"Noooo." Came his reply. "But you definitely should."

Then it was like a flood unleashed. He captured her upturned lips with his and the heat of him enveloped her. His hands were sure and steady as they spread over her shoulder blades. Her's felt like they had a mind of their own as they delved into his hair and held him to her. His kiss was soft but confident and despite his gentleness, she felt his urgency too. Or maybe it was because she could feel he was holding back in the tense muscles twitching under her fingers. She knew she was turning him on as much as he was her. She wanted the kiss to go on forever. She wanted to pull herself up and wrap her legs around him so she could press her tingling center more firmly to him and relieve the throbbing pressure there. But they were just on the boardwalk by the beach, not in a private enough location. He nibbled at her lip and she moaned into his mouth, not caring who heard.

"Come on." He grabbed her by the hand and began steering her toward a block of apartment buildings at a faster pace. "My place isn't too far." It was actually a little chilly in the wee hours of the morning as the flush from the club wore off. The cool air was also bringing somewhat more clarity to her thinking. Had she really just wanted to climb a man on a street corner? She knew that if she went into his apartment with him she was going to have sex with him. On the other hand, if she wanted to kiss him goodbye at the door and end the evening she needed to make up her mind soon. She had never had sex with someone she wasn't dating but she had also had never wanted to quite so badly before. A little voice of reason was telling Kara to go home and have some nice memories to savor but she felt driven to continue. It had been a very long time since she'd had any sort of male encounter and it could be a long time again. For one night, she should live it up. She hurried along with him feeling giddy from the adrenaline rushing in her veins. Or maybe it was the alcohol. Either way, she was pretty sure she was about to have delicious, mind bending sex with this guy…or get chopped in a million pieces and dumped in Lynnhaven bay.

Something about deciding it would be one night only made her feel more free, more able to take risks. As they tripped up the stairs to his second floor apartment she giggled. "I've never done anything like this. I'm sure all the girls say that to you, but seriously, I was the straight A's, home by 8 to study, type of girl back when I was in college and I haven't had much chance since then."

He looked up from where he was fitting the key into his door lock. "What makes you think I've ever done this either?" He opened the door to his dark apartment and ushered her inside. Although it was dark, she could tell there was no clutter. That was all she had time to see before she was pressed between him and the door. The feel of his firm body pressing into hers was delicious and the knowledge that he desired her as urgently as she did him emboldened her. She pulled him into her against the wall and ran her hands up the muscular columns of his back. Beneath the soft cotton of his oxford shirt his muscles were rock hard and the heat of his skin made her want to melt into him. She wanted to run her fingers on his skin so she began tugging the shirt up. He broke away from the kiss with a grin and shucked the shirt over his head. She heard it fall to the floor behind him as he returned to her and she slid her hands over warm taut skin. Oh yes, he was solid indeed. She almost laughed out loud when an image of the graying, potbellied man who had taught her scuba on a Hawaiian Vacation years ago. Maybe she would have stuck with it if her instructor had looked like Danny. Strong ropes of muscles shifted beneath her touch. His skin was smooth except for the feel of freckles across his shoulders. Her knees were turning to jelly at the thought of having him so she began kicking off her heels, but he stilled her motions by holding her hips in place with his.

"Jesus, you are going to drive me crazy moving against me like that." He exclaimed. "The whole time we were dancing I was praying you'd let me take you home and show you how much." He speared his fingers through her dark hair, cradling her head for another searing kiss. "I want to feel your skin too…but I have no idea how a top like this works." She laughed out loud at his honesty. Until Alicia had put it on her, she had had no idea either.

She raised her hands over her head. It should have felt like a vulnerable position but at that moment it felt like a very delicious invitation. "The only way is up." She didn't think she'd ever been with anyone who was so much larger and stronger than her. Although petite, she worked out and she could handle herself. But something about the way Danny had been attentive at the club, and the gentleness of his touch, and even his tone of voice with people all evening told her he was an OK guy. She always trusted her instincts, and right now she felt safe. Actually she felt better than safe, she felt protected.

He slipped his hands against ribs, up under the stretchy fabric and slid his palms up her sides, lifting the fabric with it. As his hands traveled up the length of her arms, carrying the fabric wrap with it she realized that she didn't have a bra. A rush of air left her at the mix of excitement and vulnerability due to being exposed. She wanted to feel him pressed against her bare chest, skin to skin, and moved her hands around his waist in an attempt to pull him closer but he resisted. He looked down and she saw him swallow as he took her in. She placed her arms over his shoulders again and was rewarded when he whispered, from somewhere in the vicinity of her collarbone, "beautiful". He began nibbling along the curve of her shoulder, interspersing kisses and soft plucks and the anticipation began building in her gut. She wanted him to touch her so badly. His hands smoothed up her sides again only this time they curved in to cup her breasts and she moaned in sheer delight as her head lolled back. She couldn't help but arch her aching breasts into his hands in an effort to press herself more closely along him. She felt herself flood with wetness as he lowered his head and took one pink nipple into his mouth.

Her eyes rolled back at the exquisite sensation. Her breasts suddenly felt full and heavy and connected to the increasing tension in her midsection. "Oh my God, it has been toooo long." She almost didn't realize she had said it out loud until he stopped and chuckled against her pebbled skin.

"Don't worry, I intend to make this worth your wait." She should have thought it was a cheesy or even cocky thing to say but when he skimmed his hands down to the small of her back and lightly bent her further so he could taste again she forgot any kind of protest. It just felt too good. His touch was alternatively feather light and firm in all the right places and she couldn't help but respond.

Her very center was tied in a knot of anticipation and when she shifted to lean her shoulders on the door she could feel how wet she was under her skirt. The intensity of her need should have scared her but instead it made her bold. She wanted to press herself against something firm to ease the ache so she pulled him back for a searing kiss and pulled his hips to grind against hers. The friction was wonderful but only left her craving more.

Just as she was about to reach for his belt Danny broke away from her lips and clasped her hands. "Condoms are in my bedroom." To be honest, she hadn't really given them any thought but she was glad he did. She hadn't been in a relationship for years so she wasn't on the pill, and of course, she had just met him. Although she had a feeling he really was trustworthy, she still knew in her heart of hearts that a good guy wouldn't try to get her to go bareback before they knew each other and set terms.

He backed down the short hall still holding Kara's hands and lightly kicked the bedroom door open behind him. Behind him, in the dim light coming through the window blinds, she saw that the bed was neatly made. She heard the scrambling of paws before she saw the dog's head pop up on the other side. "You have a dog?" The dog trotted over and sniffed her hand. In the dim streetlight coming through the blinds she could tell he was like a small German Shepherd.

"Uh, sort of. Technically he's my roommate's but we've both always lived with him." He was still guiding her toward the bed and she realized her urge to talk stemmed from a little nagging nervousness. It had been a long time for her and she really wasn't very experienced. What if she wasn't up to his standards. He'd probably been having amazing sex since he was 16 and would think her an amateur. Her joy in semi-anonymous freedom suddenly fled and and she found herself babbling.

"I love dogs. I only have a cat because I um, travel too much for my work but I grew up with dogs. On a farm you have to have dogs. We raised sheep so we had collies. Collies are very trainable, you know. Super intelligent dogs." She was suddenly aware that she having a topless conversation about pets with a practical stranger and felt goosebumps of awareness break out all over. I'm an idiot she thought. In her mind's eye she suddenly saw herself turning into an old withered maiden aunt in a flannel nightgown.

Danny seemed to recognize the sudden tenseness in her body. "Hey boy, laundry room. Go" He gave the dog a soft command and it trotted out of the room. Turning his gaze back to her he tried to relax her "Halsey here's a Belgian Malinois. A good dog but a little young. I don't want to shock him with what I'm going to do next." As the warm skin of his chest contacted hers again a flush raced over her body. "He's a working dog so he's fixed and I don't think it would be fair to show him what he's missing in life."

She couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Oh?" Her laughter snapped her back from her insecure inner monologue and suddenly her need rushed back full force. He was standing with his back to the bed and she realized that he was waiting for her signal that she was comfortable to continue. One night stand equals freedom to do what you want she told herself.

With a mental shake she returned to action. She gently pushed him onto the bed. Taking the initiative she hooked her thumbs into the wide waistband of her skirt and slid it over her hips. Kara was realistic about her body. She was petite and curvy with dark hair and eyes, not the kind of long legged blond a guy as handsome as Danny could probably easily date. But she worked out and she was fit so she liked herself in the mirror. A sense of satisfaction and relief swept over her as his breath left him in a huff. She wasn't one for fancy lingerie but he didn't seem to mind her sensible cotton panties. That was good, she thought, because she really wanted this. She tossed the skirt onto a chair in the corner and stepped back into the shadow of his hips.

She leaned over and her breasts hung inches from his mouth. As she reached for his belt he returned to kissing and sucking them. Her knees felt weak but she had to stay focused or they'd never get fully naked and she desperately wanted to feel all of him pressed against all of her. Finally the buckle slid free and she tried to unbutton his pants. It was harder than she expected to maneuver his jeans as he was sitting and after a moment he brushed her hands away. "Here, I got it." His voice was low and husky.

"Sorry." He stood and drew his jeans off tossing them over her skirt on the chair. His dark boxer briefs contrasted with his pale skin in the faint light of the window and she could see that he was aroused. Then he placed his hands on her shoulders and gently turned her so she was the one sitting at the edge of the bed. He stepped between her thighs and they returned to kissing but now they were skin to skin except for their underwear. She could feel his hardness pressing against her center where it was as if his warm skin drew her throbbing pulse to the surface. She just wanted more. She felt so greedy but her mind was screaming more, more, more!

And he did not fail to satisfy. He began to gently stroke her upper legs but she was aching for him, dripping for him and it wasn't enough. Kara had never been very forward but she suddenly didn't have the patience to wait. And besides, she reasoned with herself, this was a one night thing so she wasn't trying to impress him. She had one arm hooked behind his neck holding him close, the other was gripping one of his muscled biceps. "Please, please touch me." She whispered against his neck. He moved to stroke her through her panties and she whimpered. It was better, but it wasn't enough. "Please…" He pressed more firmly and she could feel the dampness in the cotton and this time her moan was low and approving.

"Do you like what I'm doing?" He asked her. His voice was serious like he was studying her reactions. She'd never been much for talking during sex but being practically strangers was truly freeing and she liked that he had even asked.

"Yes, would you like me to do the same?" She heard felt the soft flutters of his breath against her collarbone quicken. "Yes." He was being honest with her too. She grinned against his temple as she began to trace the outline of him through his briefs. Careful not to lose contact he laid her back onto the bed and she was enveloped by his presence. As they stroked each other and the minutes passed, his scent, his warmth, the satisfyingly heavy press of his body were all around her. She could feel her anticipation rising like a bubble. She wanted to be naked, completely free.

"I want to feel your skin on me, when I come." There, she had been bold. She had said what she wanted. Her cheeks were blushing but really, why should they. The man was fingering her clit and she had him in her hand so why should she blush? Her hips were seeking him now, pressing her more firmly against his hand.

"Do you?" he asked and his touch lightened as he eased a little bit farther away so his chest wasn't resting on hers. The tension in her was becoming something all consuming, exquisite. She tried to follow his hand to increase the pressure but he held her firm to the bed with one hand on her shoulder. "Do you want to feel me here?" He kissed her forehead.

"No" she panted. Holly cow this guy knew how to stretch it out.

"Do you want me to touch you here?" He kissed her collarbone with a little lingering love bite.

"No"

"How about here?" He took a nipple in his mouth but when her back arched and her hips drove upward he managed to keep his touch on her clit as soft as can be.

"Please." Kara really was begging now. She slid her hand into his fly in hopes of hurrying him along. He was taut and hot and smooth and his pulse throbbed against her palm which only increased her own excitement. She stroked a little faster and was rewarded with a firm jerk against her hand. She knew he was enjoying this as much as she was.

He drew back, far enough that she began to lift her head up off the bed to protest. But then he was drawing down her panties and kissing the tops of her thighs and knees and ankles. She heard him rustle in a drawer and then place a condom on the pillow next to her, then he was shucking his underwear too and at last they were pressed skin to skin from shoulder to toes. She lost a shuddering breath at the sensual feel of his rougher skin against hers. He was like a furnace and everywhere they touched was on fire. She had lost her patience. She pulled his head to her breasts and tilted her hips to meet his hand. The first slick stroke elicited a loud moan from her. She'd never heard herself make such noise but once again, she thought, being strangers was liberating. And then he was sliding one hot finger into her or maybe two, she was too busy trying not to swallow her tongue to count.

"Do you want me to touch you here?" He gave her clit the softest, slickest, feather light touch imaginable. She felt her fingers curl into his shoulder. Her answering "Yes, God Yes" was barely more than a whisper. This guy had some amazing self control she thought.

"Again?" he asked softly. He did it again and she thought she might break from being wound so tight. She could feel her moisture pooling. It was only going to be a matter of seconds. "Danny Pleaseeeeee." She half moaned, half whispered as he increased the pressure. Her back arched so hard she thought she might turn herself inside out over his hand but that contact was everything she wanted in that moment. With the arm that was holding her he swept his fingers up her side and over her breast as he gave her tensely pearled clit one last stroke. And then the bubble that had been filling and expanding in her released with a all consuming crescendo that took her away from the world for a moment. In some dim part of her mind she knew that she had cried out as the pleasure burst over her. She wasn't sure but she might have bitten his shoulder as she came. She was drifting in a strange sea where her ears were ringing and she was temporarily blinded but she didn't care as long as she felt alive like that. Yes, yes this was good, great, incomparable her mind screamed. In-fucking-comparable.

When her senses returned she realized his fingers were still moving inside her. He was careful not to touch her clit but the right angle drew a throbbing pulse from her and she cried out. "Stop! Condom! Now." Kara knew her own body and she needed a pause or she'd be in pain from the over sensitivity.

A soft chuckle told her Danny understood. As he reached for the condom she reached for him. He was still rock hard and she felt relived that her bossiness hadn't turned him off. Quite the contrary, it seemed to have encouraged him. She pushed up on an elbow and smiled. "I haven't scared you off, have I?"

"You must not know much about men if you think you had any effect other than to make me desperately want you." Kara could hear it in his voice. He did want her as much as she did him. She took the condom from his hand and opened it. She wasn't terribly experienced at putting them on but she had mastered that banana in sex ed. She thought she was doing ok until he cried out "Hair!" Understanding she stopped unrolling and let him smooth it the rest of the way. Her mumbled "Sorry" was lost as he pulled her over him and kissed each of her hands.

"Do you like it this way?" She asked. She liked it on top but she always felt more self conscious and she had kind of assumed the first time would just be plain vanilla missionary.

"I thought you would." He was studying her and she almost wanted to look away. But her inner voice was screaming. Be bold, ask for what you want, so she did. Taking advantage of how wet she was she slid upward and seated herself over him. Goodness that felt so wonderful. It had been over a year since she'd actually had sex, had a man inside her, and she had forgotten how thrillingly shocking it felt at the first moment when a man entered her body. She used her arms to nudge him into a more sitting position so she could lean back a little. "Oh this is…" Her voice trailed as he grasped her by the hips to grind a little as she lowered herself and began to move slowly at first.

"Yeah, it's something else." His voice was gravelly now and she could see the concentration furrowing his brow.

Kara gave a little extra wave action to her hips and watched as he closed his eyes in bliss. "Danny?"

"Mhum?"

"You like it?"

Danny's grip on her hips tightened and she was sure she'd have bruises tomorrow but in that moment it felt so good to be wanted so intensely. "Yes" he ground out between breaths. "Yes Kara, I like it."

She liked the way her name sounded when he said it. "Good." She ground in a little deeper. She leaned in to kiss him and she felt his tension through his lips. He was fighting for control now. She wanted to see this man lose it and know it was because of her. She had never been all that into actual intercourse once she had reached her orgasm. There was always that chance it would hurt if she pushed herself too far, if she crossed that boundary into over sensitized. But this guy had read her so well a few minutes ago that she somehow trusted that he wouldn't push too far. So she took one of his hands by the thumb and guided it to her clit right where she needed it. "Soft, ok?" If it was possible he became even more hard inside her.

"God Kara you are so amazing." He panted in her ear. "You are so unbelievably sexy." His voice was sounding like it was far away and she knew she was going to come again in a great big wave, any moment now.

"Yeah, yeah I feel that way." He seemed to know what she was asking for because he changed his angle to keep his touch light all the while hitting exactly the right spot inside. The bubble was welling up in her again and she felt as if she was simultaneously gripping him and expanding around him. It was as if he was melting into her and she into him. She felt like she could go on forever and yet she was reaching, reaching for something at the same time. When she felt him let go she couldn't hold back any longer. She wasn't sure if it was the feel of him driving those last hard strokes or if it was her satisfaction at bringing him pleasure that tipped her over the edge. Either way she was completely lost in his touch again as her tension broke in wave upon wave of intense contractions that she felt down to her toes.

She collapsed on top of him as he slowly brushed his fingers up and down her back. She was still pulsing in long luscious waves when she asked "Is this OK."

"Mhumph, don't move." He lifted her off him ever so slightly and drew off the condom. Lazily she listened to him set it on a tissue and crumple it up. Usually she would be embarrassed and begin to think about leaving but she didn't want to leave so she tamped down her discomfort. Then his arms were back around her and he was tucking her head into the crook of his neck. "You ok?" There was no mistaking the tenderness in his voice. This guy was the real deal, she decided.

"Yeah" she sighed "I'm spectacular."

"Yes, yes you are." He answered. She smiled bashfully against his neck but relaxed into sleep almost instantly.


	3. Chapter 3 - Morning Has Broken

It's another day and another installment! It's just a short one today, but tomorrow I have a new bit as requested by tmtcltb. Thanks all for the kind reviews so far.

On the chapter title...Most people recognize this song as a Cat Stevens hit from the early 70's but the song is actually a hymn that is very popular for funerals and it is deceptively difficult to sing. In the 10th grade I had a crush on a boy who was also my best friend (and really into Cat Stevens music). I finally screwed up the courage to ask him out and he turned me down because he had just started dating someone else...it was my other best friend. Although I went through typical sad teenager feelings for a while after we didn't get together, we all stayed close friends. They've been together close to 25 years now! This song always makes me think of that strange sad feeling you get when you're grieving but you know you're supposed to be celebrating. That's why I let a 70's folk ballad sneak into my 80's mix. -EMW

****Morning Has Broken, Cat Stevens*****

The first thing she saw when she woke was her skirt and Danny's jeans rumpled together on a chair in the corner of his room. Something about it was so sweet, like they were old friends, comfortable enough to be messy together. She sighed contentedly. Georgie had been right. A wild night had been exactly what she'd needed, even if she hadn't recognized it herself.

Danny was sleeping on his stomach, one heavy arm across her back. It was warm under the covers and there was thin light coming through the window. Her body felt languid and sated and even thought Kara knew it was just a hook up, she didn't want to go, not yet.

But then her thoughts started whirring around her head and she knew she was doomed to stay awake. What if it hadn't been as great for him as it had been for her? What if he was expecting her to be gone? What if he wanted to do it again when he woke up and it wasn't as good? Or her breath was bad? Or whatever! With hushed sigh of regret that the night was over she slid out of bed as quietly as she could.

She gathered her clothes quickly and began redressing as she looked down on Danny. Even in sleep he was gorgeous. She saw enough sleeping men on the ship to know that some of the fiercest guys turned into drooling little boys in their sleep. But not Danny. He looked like he could take on the Taliban one handedly. Realizing her shirt was still out in the front hall she tiptoed out of the room and shut the door behind her. The sunlight was getting brighter by the second and she thought about how she was going to look trudging across town in her club clothes. She hoped to God she didn't see anyone she worked with on her walk of shame. Correct that, she thought, her walk of complete and utter shameless joy. She was not going to pretend she wasn't human and hadn't as much right as any other adult to enjoy a little companionship, was she?

Kara heard the dog's nails click on the floor as he came into the hallway and watched her silently. She picked up her top and lifted it to put it on. The smell of stale smoke from the bar stopped her. Ugh, she didn't want to wear that. She looked around for something else to wear. There was a flannel shirt hung over the back of a kitchen chair. She padded as quietly as she could to get it. A khaki uniform in a picture on the mantle caught her eye as she passed. No, No, NO! But then relief swept over her when she realized it wasn't Danny. It was Frankie, from quite a few years ago it looked like since peanut butters hadn't been in use for a while. Well, she thought, that explained why he had named his dog after a famous admiral. Hum, she thought. I'll have to get the story on that from Georgie she thought.

She picked up the flannel and smelled it. A tingle coursed through her in recognition. Yep, definitely Danny. She felt bad for taking it but she could return it tomorrow, she reasoned. Either in person or with a note, depending on how she felt after she had some time to think. The dog stepped up to her and nosed her hand with a soft whine. She had a feeling he wanted to be let out and hoped he wouldn't put up a fuss when she shut the door on him. "Sorry Halsey" she whispered. "Gotta go."

She shrugged into Danny's shirt. Her feet were sore and she couldn't bear the idea of putting the heels she had danced so carelessly in last night back on her aching feet so she just carried them to the door with her. When she reached for the door handle they accidentally clattered against the metal door.

She heard a rustle from the bedroom and nearly panicked. If she didn't get out of there soon Danny was going to be awake and then all sorts of awkwardness would ruin the magic. As she watched over her shoulder to see if he emerged from the room she saw the dog cock his head at her as if to say "You're making a big mistake."

Kara really wanted to stay, wanted to get back in that bed and repeat all the things they had done the night before and more. She wanted to talk to the man who had touched her so perfectly and find out who he really was. But that would inevitably turn bad and break her heart in the long run. It was better this way. So she opened the door to the crisp morning air. Really, better for everyone. Her own indecision at the moment surprised her. She wasn't used to second guessing herself. "Don't judge me!" she whispered back at the dog. Shutting the door and making her escape saved her before she could betray herself and turn back.

She quickly exited the apartment building and found a smooth place to stand around the corner while she called a cab. As she snuggled into his shirt and surrounded herself with his scent she felt sadness and a strange sort of melancholia that wasn't quite regret wash over her from head to toe. She only wanted to take back one thing about the night before. If only she had been truthful about herself from the start. How could she have known how amazing that would be? How could she have known what a good guy Danny would turn out to be. Was it even possible to know a person enough from a few hours that she could even know that he was a good guy? She certainly didn't regret the great sex or the honesty of her reactions to him. If it hadn't been a hookup and if she hadn't colored the truth she might have gotten the chance to find out if he could handle what she did for a living. The cab pulled up and in minutes there were miles between them.


	4. Chapter 4 - Don't Dream It's Over

Thank you tmtcltb for the idea to add this chapter. I tried to work in your favorites, Halsey and Frankie, to help Danny accept what happened and move on. But, as we know, Danny can be a pretty persistent problem solver so I wouldn't expect him to give up just yet! -EMW

***Don't Dream It's Over, Crowded House*******

Something cold was nosing his shoulder. He snuggled in deeper trying to avoid it but a moment later he felt the covers being tugged away. "Go away dog." He grumbled. He'd never been a morning person. "We need more sleep." We. We? His sleep muddled brain suddenly remembered and he smiled, slipping one arm under the covers to reach for the silken skin and warmth of her again. The dog succeeded in tugging the blankets free and suddenly he was lying, as naked as the day he was born, in the diffuse morning sunlight. He sat up covering his lap with his arms. "I'm sorry, Halsey is very insistent about his sched.." She wasn't there. He looked around the room wildly. There was no sign of her.

Had he imagined it? Man, he hadn't been drinking that much, had he? He swung his feet over the side. He didn't feel hungover. In contrast, physically he felt relaxed, even content. He stretched his arms over head, feeling the kink in his shoulder where she had laid her head give way. Maybe she was in the bathroom? He listened hopefully but all he could hear was the dog breathing. Wondering where she had gone, he pulled out a clean pair of boxer briefs from his nightstand and slipped them on. The bathroom door was open so she definitely wasn't in there. Maybe she was in his kitchen? He hustled down the hall but no, she wasn't there either. The clock on the microwave said 6:30. He didn't think they had gotten in until at least 2:30 the night before. "Must be a morning person." He muttered to the dog. Maybe she went out for coffee? The shiny new Kuerig on the counter and basket of K-cups next to it suggested that he was grasping at straws. Momentarily defeated, he slipped a dented aluminum travel mug beneath the spout and began a large cup.

His mind recognized the situation for what it was, but his heart wasn't so accepting. Flashes of the night kept teasing him. He saw the graceful curve of her neck as she looked over her shoulder while dancing. Felt the heavy fall of her hair when he'd lifted it off her face to kiss her while she rode him with sweet intensity. Maybe he'd misinterpreted her sighs and she hadn't enjoyed herself as much as he thought? His brow furrowed as he remembered her clenching around him. He didn't think so. He'd never met anyone who was so thoroughly passionate like that before. He thought of the way her thighs had gripped him in action and then the limp feeling of her limbs, draped over him in the aftermath. It may have been a while since his last partner, but he didn't think a woman could fake that kind of fervor.

As he waited for the coffee he took a quick look around the apartment but there was no sign she'd even been there. There were no clothes lying in the entry hall where he distinctly remembered being frustrated by some kind of complicated top in his quest to get to her lovely breasts. Maybe he really had imagined it? "Well Halsey, I don't know what was in those drinks but wow, if I dreamed that, it was the most realistic dream I've ever had." Halsey wagged his tail and looked expectantly at his dish. He shook out the prescribed amount of kibble and placed the bowl on the floor. While the dog ate, he checked the likely places she might have a note. Nothing on the fridge or the pad by the phone. Nothing on the entry table. Nothing on his nightstand or the bathroom mirror. She really had just disappeared, just like that.

Returning to his room he swore it even smelled like her, like some kind of earthy, spicy fruit. After checking his phone, just in case, he gathered some clothes and brought them to the bathroom. Grabbing his toothbrush he continued to think about the night before. He was sure it had been good so why would she go? His traitor of a brain tossed out several possibilities. She was married or cheating? No way. She seemed way too honest. She was a player and she really did go home with men all the time? Nope. She had kissed like someone who hadn't kissed in a long time. She just wanted to use him for sex? Well then why worry about if he enjoyed it as well?

Rinsing the brush he looked up in the mirror and something caught his eye. Ha! His heart leapt in a weird sort of triumph at the evidence. There on the tip of his shoulder were four perfect half moons where her trim little nails had marked him. After seeing that, he stopped questioning if he had imagined it. Instead, he smiled as he dressed and whistled as he trotted down the stairs to take Halsey out for a run. He wasn't giving up. Norfolk was a pretty small community and he was trained to find people, find information. One way or another, he was going to see her again.

Five hours later, Frankie found him alone at the gym doing pushups. "Did you just leave $80,000 worth of government property tied to a bike rack outside?"

Danny's muscles were warm and limber and he was about 75 into a set of 100 so he didn't stop. "Yeah, so, he's not going anywhere and he likes the fresh air."

Queen blared from Danny's ipod on top of the water cooler and Frankie immediately reached for the dial to turn it down. "So out of character for you! What was so urgent that you had to come down here and wear yourself out on a Saturday morn…" Frankie's eyes widened. "You took that girl home, didn't you?"

Danny rested a knee on the ground without looking up. "Yep." He felt like a thirteen year old telling his friends that Cissy Paten had let him touch her boobs behind the Dairy Queen. He couldn't quite hide the grin on his face. He practically bit his tongue to keep from blurting out "And it was so awesome."

"I knew it!" Frankie crowed as he headed for the benches at the side of the room. He sat and began unlacing his street shoes. "That girl I was with, Georgie, said her friend really needed to get out and when I told her you really need to get in, if you know what I mean, we decided we should try to play cupid. I didn't think it would really work! Was it good? Does this mean you'll come out with me and Steve again tonight? I know this place up by the university. The girls are wild man. I mean like take you in the back and let you sample the goods before you buy kind of wild and.."

"Slow down there Parnelli." Danny shook his head at Frankie as he hooked his feet under the bar of the incline bench and began doing sit ups at a steady pace. "First off, what about me makes you think I'd ever want to pick up some college girls? And secondly, her name was Kara, and I want you to get her number for me from her friend."

Frankie's lips pursed and his brow crinkled. "Ohhhhh. She didn't give you her number? Dude, you must need some serious brushing up on your skills. Georgie gave me her cell number and her twitter handle and I didn't think she even liked me. Next time you gotta be the cop because I can't pull that off. Look you can.."

"I don't need to brush up on my skills! And certainly not with some ditzy college girls. Can you just ask her friend for her number, please?" He couldn't believe he was pleading with his best friend on this. It was just a phone number!

"Seriously. I'm trying to protect you." Frankie set a bar on an empty bench and headed for a rack of weights. "You know it's totally ok to just hook up now, right?" Danny's breath huffed at the effort of his workout but he didn't say anything more. After a moment Frankie relented. "But, I guess, if you really want me to, I can try to get her number." He slid a weight onto the bar with a clink.

"Thanks. I'll owe you one."

"Oh you'll pay up right away. Morning walks for Halsey all week. And no using the indoor mat. Those things are expensive and they stink up the whole apartment and then you'll be messing with my quest for a girl."

"Alright, alright. I'll do it if you'll just call her." Danny urgently motioned toward Frankie's bag.

"What now? I can't call her now." Frankie closed his eyes and shook his head as if exasperated with Danny. "I can't call her until tomorrow at the earliest."

Danny raised a brow. "You didn't think Georgie liked you? You don't want to call her?"

Frankie gripped the bar and began lifting. "Well, no that's not exactly it." He smoothly raised and lowered the weights, a small twinge showing in his face every time he began the recovery. Danny noticed. "Shoulder bothering you?"

"Yeah, it's never going to be the same, but it will warm up in a few more minutes. You know we're going to be too old for this eventually." Danny nodded. He did know. Everyday he looked in the mirror and wondered when he would begin to see his father's workaholic face staring back at him. They worked in silence for a few minutes. After he finished the set they changed places and Frankie began again. "It wasn't that she didn't like me. I could tell that she didn't like the cop act. She didn't really get to meet the real me, you know?"

He guided the weight off the rack and Danny started lifting. As he pushed through the burning in his pectorals and triceps, he considered Frankie's words. He hadn't been truthful with Kara but he didn't feel like he had been acting either. Actually, other than what he said he did for a living, he had felt pretty good who he had been with her. He hadn't felt the need to restrain himself physically or intellectually because she had been more than capable of keeping up. He found himself wondering if it was because his fake identity had removed some of the usual pressure to live up to the romanticized notions people formed about the military. Plus, he hadn't been expecting to take a woman home, just to hang out with his friends. The entire evening had just flowed so naturally once he met her. It still stung a little that she hadn't stuck around. He would have liked to wake up with her, maybe continue where they had left off when they fell asleep for good, exhausted from the third round. Well, when he had fell asleep anyway. Now he wasn't so sure about Kara. Did she go right away, while it was still dark out? Or did she sleep a while and then get up and leave. Did she want to leave early or did she have someplace she had to be?

Oblivious to Danny's inner anxieties, Frankie chatted away. "This morning, Georgie was telling me about all these exciting places she's been. She's some kind of travel writer. And it was totally bugging me because I couldn't tell her about the cool places I've been. We could have shared impressions of Brazil or Ethiopia but instead I had to be all like wow, I've never left the US."

Danny finished the set and sat up. He was surprised to still feel a soreness in his triceps. Then again, he had spent a long time leaning on his elbows the night before. Glancing at the clock he realized he had been at the gym almost two hours. "I'll spot you another but then I gotta go. I promised my mother I'd research new cars for her today. Want to go drive a few with me?"

Frankie shook his head. "Your mother is going to buy the same model Cadillac or Oldspeoplemobile or whatever it is she always drives and you know it. Why even drive one?"

Danny laughed. He had already picked out the car he was going to recommend to his mother but he had nothing else to do and he couldn't sit at home the rest of the day wondering what had happened with Kara. "Yeah, but you know it will be a nice one, with leather seats and a perfect suspension. It could be fun."

"No." Frankie shook his head vehemently. "You just want me to go so you can pull up to the dealership in your P-o-S excuse for a car with a black man in the passenger seat because you know they won't pressure you to buy that way."

"My car isn't that bad."

"Yeah man, it is. It's a sad day when a guy with a perfectly good income gives up and drives a junker. We should go car shopping for you instead. Maybe that chic saw your car outside and figured you were broke." He smirked at Danny before continuing. "Ok, look, you go shower and make us some lunch. I'll come with you BUT you have to wear a hoodie and we get to listen to my music during the test drive. AND then we have to claim we're buying a car for OUR Granny's 80th birthday to look extra suspicious."

Danny's eyes sparkled. "You have a sick sense of humor Franklin."

"Yeah, but I would be nothing without a partner in crime."

"Can we call Georgie now?"

"You have so much to learn old man. Go shower while I try to think up a way to educate you about the ways of the world."


	5. Chapter 5 - Call Me

Poor Kara. The last time she put herself out there she got trampled...and it was the era when people at least held hands before they went home and knocked their boots together. Good thing she's got some friends to help her find her way.

**Call Me, Blondie**

"So, I know at least one of us had a good night last night.." Georgie, Sarah, Alicia, and Kara were hanging out at the pool in the apartment complex where they all lived and Georgie was prodding them for results. Sarah and Alicia looked expectantly at the rest, Denise suddenly seemed consumed with inspecting her manicure, and Kara took the opportunity to slug from her iced tea. After a night of dancing, and drinking, not to mention panting, she was parched. When no one said anything Georgie prompted "Oh come on Kara, I saw you slink in at dawn this morning. Spill the beans."

Kara wasn't one to kiss and tell but she could tell a little without being too graphic. "Well, after I waved goodbye to you guys we went to his place and…"

"No coffee? No walk in the moonlight? You horndog!" Georgie had never had a filter.

"Nope, just went home and got in bed." She confessed. Her face was flaming But Kara realized that she desperately wanted to ask her friends what they thought of her calling him again and she couldn't do that without at least saying a little.

"So, how was it? I warned you that hookups can be hit or miss." Georgie considered herself the expert on everything party girl.

"It was, um…" Should she say it? These were her closest friends after all. "It was the best sex of my life."

"Good for you!" Alicia high fived her. "You deserve it after putting up with Steve for so long."

"Was it that scuba diver guy? He looked really strong." Denise asked.

"Yes, and yes indeed." She didn't want to crow but it had been pretty damn good. So good she felt herself blushing just thinking about the things they had done.

"So how many?" Georgie probed.

"How many what?"

"How many times? How many orgasms?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh my God I'm not going tell you that!" Kara had reached her limit of details so she tried to deflect. "How did that guy Frankie turn out? I saw his picture in the apartment in Khakis. He's got some Navy in him."

"Oh, he was a dud. Total ego, like you'd expect from a cop. I mean, he was pretty hot and all and the sex was OK but I'd go nuts listening to him talk. Everything was I was wrestling this perp this and I took down this badass dude that."

Denise piped in. "Scott was ok. I mean, we didn't get past second base but it was nice. We're going to dinner on Monday."

"That's cool." Kara smiled at her friend. "Did you tell him you aren't really a kindergarten teacher?"

"No, but I will on Monday. It doesn't feel right not to."

Kara kind of agreed but she still worried that if she reconnected with Danny it might ruin things.

"So, Kara, are you going to see him again?" Sarah, ever the perceptive one, asked exactly the question Kara didn't know how to answer.

"I don't know." She answered honestly. "I want to, but he's a really nice guy and I don't want to lie to him. Plus, I really don't want to start anything when I know I'm leaving again in a month."

But Georgie was the one who read the situation clearly. "But you want to fuck him again, don't you?" As crass as it sounded, that was exactly what she wanted. And if her partner happened to be a nice guy, that was all the better.

"Yea,,, yes." She hid her face in her hands "Oh my God I can't believe I'm saying this. Is it awful for me to want to use him for the rest of my shore leave, or maybe the whole time before we sail again and then walk away clean?"

"Jeez Kara, it's about time you grew a pair. Everyone needs some good honest sex once in a while. It won't make you a slut."

"I say you go for it." Alicia suggested and the others chimed in nodding. "Do you have a way to contact him?"

"No, but I know where he lives. I was thinking that I could drop my number in his box. Just a little casual note, you know, Hey, this is Kara from the other night. I had a good time. Call me if you want to hookup again? That kind of thing? Or is that bad? Like super clingy, slutty bad?"

Georgina frowned at this. "Was he into it? Like, did he say it was good or anything?"

"Um, sort of. But I just want the hookup, nothing else." He had said she was amazing. And his body language had said he thought it was just as good as she had. But she wasn't going to share that. She had to keep something in private.

"I say wait for him to find you." Georgie asserted. "If he wants it, he'll come looking for it."

"Yeah?"

"Yep."

"Uh huh." They all agreed.

Kara hid her disappointment and wondered how long it would take.

As it turned out it didn't take long at all. After a quiet evening in, Kara spent Sunday with her mother. They went to church, did a little shopping for the apartment, and had a quiet evening at home. Monday found her at loose ends again. Her mother had an AA meeting in the morning and work at the bowling alley in the afternoon. Georgie, Sarah, and Denise had their desk jobs, and Alicia was on a quick trip to Baltimore to visit her mother. So after a good morning jog and shower she decided to take herself out to breakfast at a little coffee shop she liked downtown. She brought her laptop and worked on editing some family photos of the old farm and house and her mom and dad. She was trying to make a collage to hang in the apartment as a going away gift before she left for her next cruise. Although she was happy her mother was making a new start in Norfolk, she was worried that it would be harder on her to be in a new place when Kara was gone for months at a time. She was so focused on her work that she didn't notice Frankie Benz until he sat in the chair opposite her.

"Hey, Georgie said I might find you here."

His familiarity surprised her. She had only talked with him a tiny bit in the noisy club and danced one dance. She hoped he wasn't going to hit on her now that he and Georgie hadn't hit it off. "Uhm Hi, Frankie isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. Well, Franklin Arnaldo Benz the third, to be precise." He smiled warmly and she wondered if what Georgie took for ego was more bravado. "So, don't freak out. I'm not stalking you. My man Danny would like to get in touch with you. I promised him I'd ask Georgie and she said to look here."

"Oh, Um. I wasn't worried. You don't seem the stalking type. What with being a cop and a dog owner and all."

"Ha, touche! And you don't seem like the shirt stealing kind either."

"Oh, yeah, about that. I just need to wash it and I'll return it. Honest. If he's just looking for his shirt tell him I can drop it off tomorrow."

Frankie laughed. "He's not looking for his shirt, believe me. You IN clothes is not on that man's mind. I don't think he's even noticed it's gone. No, Georgie told me how you came home wearing it. I won't tell. But, I really would like to tell him your number or where to meet you, or something so that he stops going on and on about how stupid he was for not getting it in the first place. He's all like Oh she was so perfect and I have never met a woman so straightforward about her sexuality and hottest night of my life. God he hasn't stopped for two days."

She fought the urge to bury her face in her hands. Danny said those things? God, what else had he said? Was Frankie right now picturing her naked based on another man's description? "Oh God, don't tell me what else he said."

"Don't worry, Mr. Straight-and-narrow doesn't kiss and tell. But can you put me out of my misery and give me your number? Georgie said she wouldn't give it out without your permission."

She thought about it for a minute. Clearly he wanted her. She wanted him too. And she had a natural end date when she left town again in a couple weeks. It didn't have to get too personal. She could have a good time, and have someone to hang out with in her free time. She might as well give it a shot. "Why the hell not." She motioned to Frankie to pass over his phone and she typed in her number. "But there is one condition. I have to go back to Kansas in two weeks. This is no strings and it ends then. If he's not good with those terms then he shouldn't call." God she hoped he called. She was getting excited just thinking about the possibilities.

Frankie grinned. She was beginning to think that grinning and frowning might be his only facial expressions. "Oh, he'll be calling. Trust me. Between all the travel involved with his job he never dates. Just sits at home like a fucking monk. Your terms will be perfect." Ick, it sounded so strange hearing it from Frankie compared to in her own head. She hoped he didn't think she was some creepy chick or worse, joking with him.

Frankie made his exit and she tried to return to her work. It was only about 45 minutes before she gave up. All she could think about was what if he said yes? What if he said no? If he said yes, she was going to have the sexual adventure of her life. If he said no, she was going to be so disappointed. She still felt weird about seeing a guy just for sex, but then again, it was more honest than pretending they were starting something and then leaving with no intention of looking him up again when she returned, wasn't it? She packed up her laptop and decided she would go home and then hit the Y for a swim. Burning off a little of her jitteryness would be good. She didn't want to be sitting by the phone waiting for him to call like some desperate woman. Then again, that was exactly what she wanted to do.

Kara walked out of the coffee shop into the bright noon sun. And as her eyes adjusted to the sunlight she saw him. There, leaning against a faded green SUV was Danny Green in person. In broad daylight he was even more handsome than she remembered. He looked taller now that she wasn't in heels and his faded blue Duke tee was doing nothing to hide the muscular makeup of his chest. One of his large hands was holding Halsey's leash. The other was braced on the hood of the car. His strong jawline was a little stubbly which made him look impossibly good. When he saw her he smiled but his smile was cautious like he knew it might be too much to approach her here. Halsey didn't have any misgivings though. He gave a sharp bark of recognition and raised a paw to wave.

She sauntered over. "Smart dog you got there. You using him to stalk me?"

"Nope. I used my roommate to stalk you." His voice was just as warm as she remembered. And her insides clearly remembered too because suddenly her pulse was jumping and her nerves were at full attention. "He gave me your number, but he also told me where you were. I hope it's not too much that I came to see you in person. I felt like the conversation we need to have should be in person."

She had already gotten the impression that Danny was a pretty straightforward guy, but his preference to reply face to face convinced her that she could relax with him. This guy was definitely going to treat her right. Her last boyfriend, over two years ago, had been such a self centered jerk that when she found out he was cheating on her while she was at sea he told her it was her fault, that a woman like her couldn't expect too much. For the last 10 years her mother had mostly dated alcoholics or unemployed losers so no good role models there. And among her colleagues it seemed that all the good guys were either too young or too married. After a while she had almost forgotten such good guys existed.

"Yeah? We need to have a conversation?" She was only coy because her familiar friend, doubt, was reminding her that the conversation could mean he was here to give her a negative reply.

"Yeah, we do. But first we need too…" He bent, pulled her close, and kissed her. Right there on the street! She hadn't been expecting it but she certainly welcomed it. His lips were firm and commanding and her arms slipped up his chest and around his neck so she could mold herself more completely to him as it went on. He smelled just as wonderful as she remembered. And the feel of his soft hair beneath her fingertips set off pings of delight all over her body. Doubt sailed away on an outgoing tide. Yes, he was going to say yes!

When they finally broke apart he rested his forehead on hers and they breathed each other's breaths. She looked into his eyes and could see that his pleasure mirrored her own. "So," she ventured. "We're going to do this?"

"Yeah, I think so." Was his reply. And they both broke out in grins. Halsey barked and tried to nose between them.

"Uh yeah, so anyway, I need to take this guy for a walk. I was wondering if you'd like to join us?" Danny looked like he hoped she'd say yes. When she didn't answer right away he continued. "Or not, I don't know if you want to hang out or just hook up. I mean, either is ok with me but I am on vacation right now and so I have lots of free time and I thought you said you were just in town helping your mother get settled and.." He was babbling. God it was so cute with his freckles and sparkling eyes and that little tuft of hair that wasn't laying smooth on the side of his head.. Kara took in the nervous bob of his adam's apple and the unsure look on his face. She felt relieved that she wasn't the only one wondering how to proceed. "And well I don't mean to mess up your plans if you've got stuff you need to do."

Well, the honesty policy worked pretty well the other night so she was going to stick with it. She took pity on him and interrupted. "I hadn't really thought that far ahead yet, but yeah, I have free time and I'd like to spend it with you. So lets go for a walk."

They headed off hand in hand, letting Halsey take the lead. She might have worried that it would be awkward but they had plenty to talk about. He commented on her Marine Corps T-Shirt so she told him her dad had been a marine. "So, that explains the anchor tattoo." (She didn't bother to correct him) which of course led to him telling her that his Dad was in the Navy. She had a moment of panic but then reminded herself that a large percentage of fathers of people their age went to Vietnam. He described himself as being from Connecticut but then amended that. He went to school in Connecticut. Boarding school from first grade on because his parents thought that was healthier than moving every few years. She told him about growing up in rural Kansas. About birthing sheep and calves and going to school with only 12 other kids her age in the entire town.

"They teased me mercilessly because I was such a nerdy kid. I was so relieved to find out other women were interested in science when I got to college." She got around telling him she went to Annapolis by calling it, "a pretty small school in Maryland".

For his part, Danny seemed to also avoid specifics and he never brought up work except to say that his father refused to let him follow his heart so he went to Duke even though he knew he didn't need a degree for his career.

"Wow! So what kind of degree do you get when you want to be a professional diver?" She expected him to say a jock degree like Communications or Marine Biology or maybe P.E. or Recreation. She was impressed when he replied "Mechanical Engineering".

"So, we're a pair of nerds then!"

Before she knew it they had talked for an hour. Arriving back at the car he offered to drive her bike home and she agreed. But somehow they got diverted and next thing she knew they were eating Chinese takeout, naked, in his bed while they watched a Jackie Chan movie and criticized the fight scenes. Before morning they were out of condoms but not out of conversation.

And so two weeks passed very quickly. Kara spent almost every waking hour with Danny. They quickly figured out that they both liked to run, swim, and cook so they worked out and ate together every day. Danny was very neat and clean and Kara was a little more careless. Kara was always early for everything and Danny was always running late. She helped him pick out a birthday present for his 7 year old niece and he helped her bake a cake for Georgie's birthday. They both giggled when Georgie and and Frankie got a little loud in the next room but then Kara was quite shocked to find out that in the right circumstances Danny could make her moan just a freely and loudly.

And the sex, well Kara had been right, it was the adventure of her life, She had always been careful in relationships. Always been afraid that she would put her partner off by telling him to do something different or how she really liked things. But with Danny, he simply asked. And he also shared what he liked. So they learned each other and through it got very good at pleasing each other. He knew she couldn't resist his smile and she knew just the hint of a blow job in his future could have him at her mercy for hours. At least in that aspect, they trusted each other completely.

One week after they made their pact Kara knew she was in trouble. There wasn't anything special about the day. She had made some pancakes for breakfast. Then they took Halsey for a walk. After that she went home…Ok, after a quickie in the laundry room she went home, to do errands with her mom. They had plans to meet at the Y for a swim at 1, after Kara's mom went to work.

She knew he was habitually late so when he wasn't there at 1 o'clock on the dot she went in and got ready to swim. At 1:15 she decided to just get in. Half an hour and a mile later she realized he still wasn't there. At two miles she knew she was in trouble. She was falling for him. She had to be. Why else would she be freaking out and wondering if he had been in an accident. Would anyone even know to contact her? Or maybe there was a carbon monoxide leak and he was suffocating in his apartment. Or maybe one of his parents called with terrible news. She'd seen pictures of the niece. Something terrible…Snap out of it, she told herself. This is a hookup, nothing more. No need to worry because it isn't your business whatsoever. But the back of her mind was saying something different. It was saying oh my God, oh my God, something is wrong. What will I do? And it was also saying oh my God, I have just gone and screwed up the most fun I've had in years.

It turned out he was waiting outside for her. He had simply gotten a flat tire and arrived too late to join her. But now she knew. Shit. She knew it was more than a hookup. If her kiss upon finding him out there was a little bit more desperate than usual to reassure herself that he was OK, he didn't comment on it. And when he was balls deep and tears rolled down her face he didn't argue with her explanation that he was just overwhelming her senses. And when she broke routine and dragged him back into bed to cuddle in the morning he didn't question that either.


	6. Chapter 6 - I Need You Tonight

I wasn't going to post tonight but a thunderstorm is rolling through and it woke me up. I am pretty sure I have never seen so much rain in my life. If I didn't live on a hill what I'd need tonight is an inflatable boat!

*****It's Raining Men, The Weather Girls****

Danny cracked a couple eggs as he glanced at the toaster. Halsey army crawled out from under the table, his eyes glued to the stove. "Yes, I made some for you too, you big mooch." The dog wagged its tail. "It's only because I feet guilty that I haven't spent much time with you lately." The eggs sizzled as he flipped them. "Don't worry boy, she'll be gone home soon." Danny felt a little ping of something when he said it. Was it sadness? Longing? He wasn't quite sure what to call it but he was pretty sure he would miss her. They had turned out to be surprisingly good together.

Frankie shuffled in from the hall. "Who? Kara? What happened?"

"Nothing happened. She's going back to Kansas at the end of the week. That was the deal."

Frankie began buttering the toast. He eyed the eggs speculatively. "You got enough there for me?"

"You're as bad as the dog." Danny sighed affectionately "Throw in some more bread then." He cracked another two eggs into the pan.

Frankie boosted himself onto the counter next to the toaster. "I've hardly seen you all week." Yeah, Halsey wasn't the only one he'd neglected. But he only had 13 days with her total, and 6 were already gone. "So, she's really leaving? I though she had put that out there to make an easy out for herself."

Danny hadn't considered that. What if.. No, she was too blunt and forthright for that. He couldn't see her doing that. "Nope, it's for real. She's got to get back to work." He slid the eggs on top of the waiting slices of bread. In a well practiced move, Frankie topped them with bacon and cheese and tossed some scraps on top of the dog's bowl.

"Here you mutt." Danny ruffled the dog's fur as he set the bowl on the floor. The two men took their sandwiches to the small kitchen table and folded themselves into the chairs.

After a few bites Danny sat his sandwich down. "Maybe I should come clean with her. See if she wants to meet up again next time she's in town." He stared into his coffee. Frankie would probably tease him endlessly for being this into a woman. But Kara, she was unlike anyone he'd ever met.

"You're kidding right?" Frankie started to laugh. "You are so old fashioned. It's killing you to just enjoy a casual hookup, isn't it. Dude, when we get back from the next assignment I'm going to set you up with Tinder. There's a whole world beyond dating out there my friend."

Danny scowled and didn't say anything while Frankie took another bite of sandwich.

"This has been a good thing for you. Don't ruin it with feelings."

"I'm not going to ruin it. But, I'm too old to play games. I like her, I think she might like me. I should fess up about what I do and everything and see if she wants to stay in touch."

Frankie sighed deeply and set his sandwich down. "Seriously, old man," he mocked with air quotes. "How much time can you realistically spend in Kansas of all places? You'd say you're going to get in touch when you get back in town and then what? It could be 2 weeks or 2 months or 6 months. You don't know. So maybe it drags out for a year. What then? If the sounds I've heard coming from your room are anything to go on, that woman has a healthy appetite for sex. Before you know it, you'll be looking forward to a rare weekend with her, only to find out she's already moved on."

"I suppose so." Danny admitted grudgingly, He had already had this argument with himself. "But it sucks. I finally meet an a woman that I want to spend time with and I can't even start anything for real."

"Seriously, you need Tinder. There are plenty more women like her looking for a guilt free good time. You can have a different one very night of the week if you want."

"You're a pig Frankie."

"I'm just glad to see you give up your monk routine, ok? You don't have to be totally celibate to be more decent than the Admiral, you know?"

Danny did know. Just because his father had a reputation, so to speak, didn't mean that he had to swear off women altogether. But, Frankie was also spot on that it was hard to date when he was away so much. And it was also simultaneously hard to not feel guilty if he just had a one night stand. "To be honest, this whole thing with Kara has been the most fun I've had with a woman in a long time. It's nice knowing exactly where I stand and not coming up against expectations, especially unsaid expectations."

Frankie nodded. "See, why screw it up? You've got a good thing. I'm kind of jealous."

"I take it that her friend Georgina didn't work out well?"

"Nah, I totally can't pull off pretending to be a cop. She was not impressed with me."

The pair ate in silence for a few minutes. Danny reflected on Kara's friends. She had said they all knew each other from college. He realized that it had been in the back of his mind that it did seem a little strange that they all lived here except Kara. And she knew Norfolk well. Almost like she lived here, but she never said she'd ever lived here.

"You get the same call I did yesterday afternoon?" Frankie broke him from his reverie.

"Yep, not the first time I've been told to get on a ship without knowing where I'm being sent, but it's certainly the first time it's been supposedly for training."

"They tell you anything they wouldn't tell me?" Frankie rose to put his plate in the sink. "The ship we're being sent on, the Nathan James, has a permanent tac team already. There's a guy I know from the gym on 7th that's with that group, Burke. Pretty good for non-ops. Academy guy. So I don't know what they need us for."

"Only thing they said was for you, me, and Cruz to come up to Quantico tonight for a briefing, that they have three fresh tridents who have been doing some extra training there for us to meet. Everything else has been arranged already, so we just show up at the ship next Monday. I guess we'll find out what we're doing when we get there. Maybe it's really just training for the new guys?" Danny started thumbing through his call log to pull up Kara's number. The picture in his contact list was from a lunch swim at Virginia Beach two days ago. She was standing in waist deep water in a plain blue training bikini putting her goggles on, the little anchor tattoo on her ribs just peaking out beneath the side of her suit and a few silky strands from her ponytail blowing across her face. In person she sometimes seemed tiny to him but in the photo she just looked bad ass. They were supposed to go swim a few miles today too but he was going to have to cancel. "Gotta figure out what I'm going to say about the trip. We had plans."

Frankie shrugged and sauntered off down the hall.

"Hey, I cooked, you wash the dishes!" Danny called after him.

"Later man."

"Aw come on, we'll get bugs on the counters."

"No time. Some of us don't have pretty girlfriends to plow before work...gotta go jerk off."

"You really are a pig."

"Hey, by the end of next week you'll be back in the five finger club too."

Danny sighed and dialed the phone. For once he wasn't as eager for an assignment as usual.


	7. Chapter 7 - Time After Time

When my grandparents divorced, the only thing my grandfather took with him was the dog. The only thing my dad says he missed was that dog. A man trusting a woman with his dog is a very serious thing.

**Time After Time, Cindi Lauper**

Kara was sitting at the kitchen table, munching a bowl of cereal. Her mother puttered in the kitchen putting away the housewares she had moved from Kansas. One more week and I'm going to have to leave her here, she thought to herself.

"Kara, you should have told me you had such nice kitchen stuff. I wouldn't have bothered to pack up all this crap." Her mother scolded her lightheartedly as she placed the half melted plastic colander in her hand back in a packing box. "Guess I can take all this to Goodwill today."

"Mmmhmm" Kara nodded but her mind was far away. Her mother would be...fine.. while she was out to sea. Well, she wouldn't be any worse here than in Kansas. Besides, it was a 12 week training mission, nothing too drawn out or out of touch. It wouldn't be like her 6 month run off the coast of Africa last year or even her 3 month stint in the Baltic because they likely wouldn't spend much time in transit.

Her phone rang, startling her out of her reprieve. Seeing Danny's photo pop up on the screen she smiled as she answered it. "Hey handsome."

"Hey yourself." Came the reply. "Can I ask you a huge favor? I mean, say no if you need to but I need to ask." He sounded a little nervous.

Her curiosity was peaked, "Sure, you can ask anyway."

"Can you watch Halsey for me until tomorrow evening?" She was surprised. In her mind she had been thinking he was going to ask her to pick something up at the store or drive him home after dental surgery or something like that.

"Yeah, sure, no problem. What's up? You going somewhere?"

"Yes, well, um, I've got to go up a few hours north of here for some training stuff before my next job. I thought I could do it next week but they want me to speed it up to this afternoon. So I need to go up there today, get it done tonight and tomorrow and I'll be back tomorrow evening. Frankie has to go too because it's um, a police related job so we both have to go." If she hadn't been battling her disappointment she might have noticed the awkwardness of his explanation.

She had been planning on taking him to her favorite secluded beach spot that evening for a little picnic and whatever came after. She had never craved someone's company so much before. Sure, she had craved physical companionship before, and she certainly would take more of Danny Green's physical contact, but she also just wanted to spend time with him and talk to him. Next week she'd be out to sea and then who knows what would happen. They had no ties on each other. And really, she couldn't expect that now. It was just a hookup, nothing more.

"OK, well, I guess the dog and I will plan on something fun for tomorrow evening then. You know I have to go back to my regular life in Kansas on Monday, right?"

"Yes, I know, and leave the dog out of the plans...he's not allowed in bed."

She giggled a little at the image of it. Goodness, Danny Green was a charmer, getting her, a battle hardened Naval Lieutenant, to giggle and blush. But, what came to mind when she thought of Danny Green were those green eyes, acres of taut skin, and heat.

"OK." she couldn't help but sigh. Oh the things she would do if he wasn't taking this trip. "Do you want to drop him off at my mother's place or should I meet you somewhere?"

"I'll bring him over, right away, if that's ok for you." There was an urgency that she didn't usually hear in his voice that raised a little alarm. Maybe she had accepted everything he told her a little too quickly. I mean really, what kind of guy has to suddenly take off with a cop in the middle of the week?

"Sure, I'm just getting breakfast now. Can I take him for a run? Bring whatever he needs for that."

They signed off and she returned to her cereal recalling the things Danny had told her about his job. When they met at the bar he'd been a little evasive but then when they reconnected he'd said he did scuba work, not like vacation kind of stuff. Maybe he was really a cop like his roommate and didn't want to say so? Of course, it wasn't like she had been honest with him either when she said she was a meteorologist. Of course, then she'd been a little too honest out of guilt, and said she was just in town to help her mother who was moving from Kansas to retire closer to the beach.

"Was that your hottie?" her mother inquired with a grin.

"Yeah, you don't mind if I watch his dog for the night, do you?" Kara knew the answer to this, her mom had always been a dog lover.

"I don't mind. It must be serious then? If he's trusting you with his dog?" Her mother placed her coffee on the table gently and sat facing Kara. "Can I meet him?"

"I don't know mom. It's not really serious yet." she didn't want her mom to think less of her for having a fling but on the other hand, she didn't want her to feel like Kara was hiding her away either. When her mother had asked to move in with her in Norfolk Kara had been stunned. But what had really blown her mind was when she laid down the rules and her mother had agreed. No drinking or smoking in the house, no bringing men home, she had to get a job, even if it was only a small one. Her mom had agreed to Kara's terms without argument and already had a job at the bowling alley down the street. Ever since Kara's Dad had died suddenly 10 years ago her mom had been adrift. Since her father had a pension from his time as a Marine and her mom had sold his farm business, she hadn't needed to work. She'd been alone since Kara had been away at school, then her trainings, then at sea. She'd promised to give up drinking and even tried many times but it had never stuck. Still, something about this clean break with her old crowd and new start in Norfolk felt good to Kara. It was the first positive step she'd seen her mother take in a long time. "I think he's in a hurry. He's got to go up to Annapolis for something tonight."

"Oh? Is he Navy? I thought you said you didn't date military guys, it was too complicated or something?" Her mother had been probing into Kara's love life and hinting that it was time to settle down since she arrived a month ago. It had felt like the entire drive from Kansas to Virginia had been one big long pep talk about relationships and babies and all that came with them. She had finally been able to get her mother to stop harping on her by telling her she planned to stay in the Navy and single until she reached retirement eligibility. Since she had gone to the Naval Academy, then Naval postgraduate school, and then so much certification training she wouldn't reach eligibility until she was 39, which wasn't for 8 more years. While she admitted she harbored some small concern that it would be too late to have a family, she thought she might be able to adopt or foster kids, even if she didn't have a partner yet. But her job was highly ship based and she was rarely home so anything beyond a brief affair was not possible.

"No, he's a scuba diver. Mostly for police work I think." In the back of her mind it sounded hollow, even to her. But she liked him. Really liked him, and she was beginning to think she might tell him what she really did and see if he wanted to meet up, no strings of course, when she got back after the next cruise.

"Well, I think you should bring him up so I can meet this boyfriend of yours. What if it does turn serious?"

"He's not my boyfriend mom! We've already agreed that it's just a fun thing until I head out again." It wasn't like her mother hadn't had her share of boyfriends over the last 10 years and Kara never judged. Kara understood that she was lonely.

Her mother wasn't going to be put off that easily. Tossing a dishcloth over her shoulder she gave Kara a level look. "Well, all men aren't like Steve, honey. It's been eight years, don't you think you should take a chance? What if he's a keeper like your father? If you like him, I think you should consider trying a relationship again." Her mother meant well. Kara was sure of it. But somehow she made her feel like she was 15 again.

Kara placed her bowl in the sink, rolling her eyes where her mother couldn't see. "I gotta go get ready."

As she moved down the hall to her room her mother made one last attempt. "Put on something cute, and a little lip gloss wouldn't hurt either."

It wasn't long before Danny arrived with the dog. She met him out in the parking lot, ready to take Halsey for a run. As much as it guiled her to agree with her mother, she hadn't wanted Danny to see her usual grungy tank and cutoff sweats so she'd dug out a running singlet and sports bra from her high school track days. With an old bandana wrapped around her high swinging pony tail and a tiny bit of lip gloss she felt like the Malibu Jogging Barbie version of herself but she guessed he'd appreciate it. She wasn't used to worrying about what she wore, but it did feel good when he grinned ear to ear as he got out of his beat up Cherokee.

He gave her the once over and then whistled between his teeth. "If I had known you were going to look this good jogging I would have planned to come over earlier so I had time to run behind you and watch." Considering that Danny looked like an Eddie Bauer Ad come to life in his olive polo and neatly pressed khakis she still felt a little grungy.

"Danny!" she exclaimed as he shot her a cheeky grin and moved around the car. The back was loaded with black bags that she assumed must hold his dive gear so Halsey was sitting in the passenger seat. When he opened the door the dog bounded out giving her hand a few good sniffs and a tail wag but then turned and watched Danny's face.

He made a few hand gestures and Halsey lay down by the rear tire. She had always had great dogs growing up but she'd never met a dog that was so precise in everything he did. It was silly, when she had only known him a little more than a week, and he really wasn't her boyfriend, but she still felt pride at his skill with the dog.

She was watching the dog so intently that she had to giggle when Danny slid his arm around her waist and pulled her against him in the lee of the car door. "I can't tell if you're happier to see me or my dog!"

Laughing she met him in a spontaneous kiss. It was one of those messy half smiling kisses that is all the more intimate precisely because it is not so perfect. It was the kind of public affection she would never normally attempt. "I'm just glad he's provided me an excuse to see you for a moment before you're out of town. What will I do by myself all night without you?" She had been so straight laced for so long that even after a week she was still a little surprised with the flirty tone she heard in her own voice.

This time he pressed her against the side of the car as he kissed her thoroughly. The smell of his skin and slide of his tongue enveloped her. She suddenly resented that he had to waste one of the precious days before she needed to return to her ship on his work obligations. "Call me tonight, after you're all tucked into bed, and I'll tell you what you can do all night." He whispered huskily into the shell of her ear before giving it a shiver inducing nip.

"Danny! I am staying at my mother's you know!" She laughed at her fake propriety. He had invited her so she sure as hell would be calling him tonight.

He smiled widely again, a warm spark in his eyes, and kissed her one last time. Reaching past her into the car he handed her a small duffel. "This is his food and gear. He knows all the usual voice commands and he'll let you know when he needs to go out by standing by he door. He doesn't need a leash to run, but you have to bring one in case you run into any police eager to give a ticket." Danny knelt down and ruffled the dog's fur. " Don't know how far you're planning to run. He can easily do 10 miles but he has to have water every 30 minutes so take a water bottle or plan some stops if you need to." Then he stood and took Kara's hand and put it on the dog's collar. "Hold his collar while I get in the car and he'll know you're the boss."

He hopped in and leaned out the window for a final kiss. "I mean it, call me later."

She returned his grin and waved. "You can count on it." As he drove away she looked to the dog. "Well Halsey, it's just you and me. What do you say we pound the pavement for a while and then do some shopping?" She had a moment of panic when she realized was responsible for another living thing, but it passed when he wagged his tail at her. They jogged for an hour and she treated him to a nice dish of vanilla soft serve. By the time she called Danny at 10:30 she was thinking she could get used to having a dog.


	8. Chapter 8 - All I Want To Do

Sorry for the delay. I decided that we needed to see just a little more of Danny and Kara before they got on the Nathan James. So this is one new chapter and then I'm going to slip in another before we get on with the parts that are already written. I wrote this and then I just wanted to slap both if them for being such dishonest ninnys with each other.

**All I Want To Do Is Make Love to You, Heart**

Kara hung up the phone, a little stunned at the conversation she had just had with Nishioka. She had called to see if he knew what her shore assignment would be. Between cruises she usually worked in the Atlantic Fleet command office on information systems design and testing or she was assigned training. But, it was Friday and she hadn't received any notification of what her assignment would be come Monday. Earlier in the day she had talked to Alisha who also hadn't gotten an assignment and she'd promised to call and find out what was up. Now she had to call her friend and tell her their shore time was going to be unusually short. They were to report back on board by 9 AM Monday morning. That also meant she had to make a decision about what to tell Danny and quick.

She padded out to her balcony and shut the sliding door behind her. Her mother would be getting ready for work soon and this was a conversation she wished to have in private. The last person she needed giving her relationship advice was a woman who had married her high school sweetheart, tolerated an absentee husband and father, and ended up a widow at 47. She leaned over the cool railing and watched the cars pass on the street below. Although it was only 7 AM, the air was humid and promised a sweltering June day. Glancing at the sky, she decide that a few stray thunderstorms couldn't be ruled out for the afternoon. She dialed Alicia's number.

"Hey Kara." It took a moment for Kara to realize that Sarah had answered Alicia's phone.

"Hey Sarah, Is Alicia busy?

"Uhm, yeah, yeah she's busy." Kara heard a muffled shout and then Sarah relayed the message. "She's in the attic looking for an old picture album she wanted to show me. What's up? Did you find out why you don't have assignments yet?" There was a tiny hint of nervousness in Sarah's voice and Kara wondered what was going on.

"Yeah, I hate to be the bearer of this news but we're heading back out to sea, Monday morning. Nishioka got the call from Garnett last night." Kara really did mean it. She hated to have to spread the news. As much as they loved working together on the ship, most of the crew needed a break and a chance to spend time with friends and family. In the last two years they had been at sea for 18 months in three separate cruises. While some of the work had been largely land based, just not at home, the packing list for this trip implied that they would be far further north than in the past.

"How long this time?" Sarah had been family for six years. She knew the drill but her voice sounded strangely subdued.

"It's some kind of weapons testing. Some days I think why did I try to get assigned to this crew? Yeah we might be supposedly the best but we also get the raw deal every time." Kara stalled by rambling as long as she could but finally had to blurt out, "Nishioka said they told him 4 to 5 months."

"Ohhhhh, girlfriend is gonna be pissed!" Kara could hear both the disappointment and the frustration in Sarah's voice. She would bet that Sarah wasn't too happy either. "Guess I better go fire up the washing machine. We haven't even finished everything from the last cruise."

Kara didn't dare say that she had already washed and repacked two weeks ago. Instead she sighed. "Yeah, tell her to check her email for the list. I know I need to get to the PX for a few things so if she wants to go tomorrow morning, give me a call."

"I will, I will." Kara's phone beeped and she saw on her screen that it was Georgie. Sighing, she hung up with Sarah and switched lines to take the call.

"Sooo, Are you on or off the ship?" Georgie didn't waste any time.

Confused, Kara replied "I'm on, aren't you?"

"Nope, Just got off the phone with Mara. She's on. But so far half the helo group is staying behind but rumor is there are some new guys coming on and a bunch of the enlisted staff are all moving around too. Myself, Norris, Larry U. And Warren are all being sent over to Monterey for four months of classes on the some new controller designs." Georgie paused a moment and then launched into her real reason for calling. "Soooo, sorry you have to go back out so soon. I know things were really heating up with your boy toy."

Kara sat on a deck chair and pulled her knees up to her chest. Alicia gave the best advice but for all her drama and craziness, Georgie was a close second. "Yeah, not sure what to say to him. I had almost been contemplating telling him about the Navy and then seeing if he was interested in continuing to hang out, but now, I just don't know." She rested her head on her knees. What are you going to tell Frankie?

"Well, I see three options for us. We could just make a clean break like you've been planning. We could agree to see other people while apart, but be exclusive when we're together." Kara's stomach twisted. She could envision Danny meeting another woman at some bar, bringing her home, sharing himself with her. The woman would inevitably be prettier, smarter, funnier, or sexier than she was. No matter what they'd agreed to, she'd never be able to get back together if that happened. Like it or not, her heart would be broken. "Orrrrr, we could insist on some kind of commitment. I guess it's up to you to decide what you can live with." Georgie paused and Kara considered the last option. The thought of tying herself to a man and letting it destroy her the way it had her mother was terrifying. She already knew Danny traveled a lot for his company. She imagined he met all sorts of interesting and beautiful women while running scuba trips in exotic locations. She didn't want to be left behind and she didn't want to compete either. Better to break it off now and live off of the beautiful memories until she was ready to have a real relationship.

"I still think option number one is the best choice for me. I guess I'd better reserve Sunday night for saying goodbye to my mother so Saturday night will have to be it. What are you going to do?"

There was a surprisingly long pause. "I think, I'm going to try option number 2. I really like this guy."

Her tremulous voice was so out of character that Kara had to ask "Why?"

Georgie replied with a laugh. "I don't know why because half the time he's an egotistical pig. But he's also damn sharp and he makes me laugh and he always sees the bright side of things and he believes in doing what's right, damn the consequences, so I think I'm going to tell him that I lied and see what happens." Her reasons tumbled out in an exhilarated rush.

Kara wasn't sure if she should congratulate Frankie or wish her luck when she just felt anxiety about how it could turn out so she simply asked "When do you head for California?"

"Tuesday morning. I called up Frankie boy to plan some kind of special parting night and he's got a work trip Monday so we're getting together Saturday night too. Wanna double?"

Kara didn't even have to think about it. "No, No I think I need to sort out what I'm going to say and then Danny and I will either be over with or we'll want some alone time. Do you think you can tell Frankie without telling him about me? I don't want Danny to have bad memories of me."

"Are you sure that's what you want me to do? I mean, if it works out with Frankie, he'll end up finding out one way or another." Kara thought about it for a while. No, it really wasn't what she wanted. What she wanted was a time machine so she could start over again; be totally honest; and then keep Mr. Green forever. But that wasn't going to happen and she couldn't bear the alternatives.

"Yeah, just don't mention me at all."

After her call she mentally reviewed the time she had left. It was Friday morning. Now that her mom had moved in, she should probably have a goodbye dinner or something on Sunday evening. That left just two nights with Danny. She supposed she better let him know today that she was leaving a day earlier than planned. She checked her phone for the time. She was meeting him to jog the Cape Henry trail in thirty minutes. With a heavy sigh she went inside to prepare.

An hour later her running shoes were crunching grave in a regular rhythm as beside her, Danny and Halsey loped along. She knew he had to slow his pace for her, even though she was still holding seven minute thirty second miles with four miles into the run. It was one of the things she noticed about Danny. He never made a big deal that he was doing something for her but she just felt it. And oddly, she kind of thought she appreciated it more that way. A drinking fountain came into view as the path skirted some ball fields. As they bounced to a stop Danny motioned for her to go first.

It was already 10 AM and the June sun was hot on her back. She couldn't help but wiggle suggestively as she bent over the bubbler. "You just like the view." she giggled as she guzzled the lukewarm water.

His smile was easy and relaxed. "Who wouldn't?" After she was done she swiped her hand across her wet lips in a decidedly un-ladylike fashion. She also knew that dark tendrils of hair were likely clinging to her red and sweaty face and her shirt probably smelled like a men's locker room. Her mother would have been appalled but she knew Danny didn't care.

She watched as he bent to drink. Beads of sweat trickled from freckle to freckle down his back. and there was a streak of dirt on his forehead where he had wiped his brow several times. After his drink he began filling a water bottle for Halsey. That was when it struck her that this could be the last jog she ever took with Danny. He was crooning "That's a good boy, drink up" and the dog was noisily lapping at the water, and her insides were filling with heavy stone. He tipped his head up to meet her eyes and suddenly she was overwhelmed with her regret.

She wanted to say I could watch you, the way you move, the way all your parts become a whole that is such perfection, for the rest of my days. But instead she choked out "I have to leave on Monday so tomorrow has to be our last night." The rocks in her stomach shifted uneasily and she cringed as their eyes locked. His face was such a mixture of confusion and surprise and sorrow that she wondered what he had been about to say before she'd just blurted it out.

Danny straightened and continued to study her. "I thought we had until next Friday?" He slowly raised his mirrored wraparounds to look more directly at her. "Is something the matter? Am I dragging you through too many workouts? Do you need a night to yourself? I can totally back off if that's it or.."

Something inside her took flight when it was clear he was upset, sad even. But the rocks didn't leave either. "No, nothing is the matter. My boss called today and they need me to be back to work on Monday, so I gotta go." She fiddled with her ponytail band and tried not to break down sobbing. "I'd stay if I could. But I have a job that's perfect for my skills and I really can't risk it." She looked down to Halsey and ruffled his fur so Danny wouldn't see the tremble in her lower lip. "I'll really miss you guys."

They stood there for a minute, dripping in sweat, still panting slightly from the workout until he took her hand. "Well then, I guess I'd better move up my plans to give you a good send off then."

His mind spun into overdrive. She was really going. Kansas. Why couldn't it be here or any place on the East coast? Or even San Diego. He could have made any of those work. But ever since Frankie had pointed it out, he had begrudgingly accepted that he couldn't be in a long term relationship with someone who he couldn't see between assignments. But now, the finality of it, punched him square in the gut.

At the same time the relief was like setting down his partner after a half mile fireman's carry. He felt his muscles slack all over his body as the tension he hadn't realized he was carrying left. He wouldn't have to tell her he was leaving on Monday too. Not only was she on the same time line, she was making an easy buffer by saving Sunday to spend with her mother.

"I have something special planned to see you off. Pack an overnight bag tomorrow and we'll go out with a bang." He tried his best not to sound to morose but he was dreading Sunday, when he would no longer have talking with her, being with her, being in her to look forward to. The fact that tomorrow would be their last day hung over his heart like a lead jacket.

Kara was coming over for pizza and Netflix in an hour so Danny gave his apartment one last scan. He'd already packed his and Halsey's gear out to his car. Frankie had protested. "You know what, I'm not trying to hide who I am from a chick anymore. I'm going to come clean to Georgie tonight. Once she's over being mad at me I'll invite her down to the dock for a send off on Monday. It feels good to know I won't be lying to her anymore. You should try it."

"I thought you said it was a terrible idea to fess up? Kara and I are hanging out here tonight so can you keep the glory of your clean conscience to yourself for one more night? I've only got two days left with her and I don't want to spoil it by changing the rules so late in the game." While he was talking Danny checked the freezer to see how much ice cream he had on hand. "Did you finish all of the cookie dough? I got that for Kara."

"Oh, Sorry. It was good." Frankie gave a sheepish expression. "Just get some more. I won't be here to eat it. I'm taking Georgie down to Rick's place at Duck for 2 days. That way if she's pissed when I tell her she'll have to stick it out at least a few hours while we drive back. I'll be back Sunday to finish packing and all that."

"And then have it sit in the freezer for 4 months. It will be no good when we get back." Danny knew he was being unreasonably cranky but he was pissed at the world and he didn't feel like keeping it all in. "And before you go, move all your gear into your room. We want to chill on the couch, and eat at the table, like normal people."

Frankie picked up a pair of boots and a pile of weaponry from the living room floor while grumbling under his breath. "Fat chance, you'll be in bed in twenty minutes, thirty tops."

Danny was able to ignore him because his phone was ringing. "Hey Vince, how's it going? Glad you got my call." Mentally, he crossed his fingers. He was hoping Vince would do him a big favor. "Is it available?"

Frankie stopped in the doorway to see how this went. Vince was a guy they had worked with for years but he'd already retired and now he ran a charter boat service out of Newport News.

"Yeah, just a small one for Saturday all day and Saturday night. We'll have it back by 2 on Sunday. Just two people." There was a pause and Danny reflexively gripped and released his hand as he waited.

"No, I'm not trying to impress anyone. I'm headed out for a 4 month cruise…" He paced between the kitchen and the living room. "Yeah, it is weird, some arctic research I guess. Anyhow, I just want to do something special with my, uhm, girlfriend, before I go."

"Yeah? The Double Palm? Sounds perfect except for the name." Frankie was trying not to crack up as he gathered a pile of neatly rolled socks off the kitchen table. Danny frowned at him. "Well yeah, they're great but…. Well if that's the only one. Maybe she won't notice."

They chatted for a few minutes about guys they had run into recently that each might know. "Yeah Frankie, he's still a pain in the ass but a damn fine sailor." And then they signed off. Danny was relieved it would work out. Now he just needed Frankie to clean up and a quick trip to the grocery store and everything would be set for the next few days.


	9. Chapter 9 - Fire

Just a little tidbit here. The next chapter is taking me a bit longer to complete than I planned. Today was just too glorious to sit still and write for long.

**Fire, Pointer Sisters**

"Holy shit that was amazing." She flopped onto the slightly musty bed. Her labored breathing matched that of the man lying beside her. "But now I need something cold to drink. Go get me a beer." She waved a hand lazily in the direction of the kitchen. At least it was where she thought the kitchen was but she didn't have the energy to open her eyes and see. The fishing cabin was dimly lit from the late Saturday sun but there wasn't much to see anyway. Since arriving shortly after lunch they had spent their time in the hammock on the porch, the kitchen counter, and now the bedroom. She couldn't accurately describe any of those places if she tried.

"Aww come on. We've been here three hours and you've already exhausted me woman. Got get your own beer." He turned on his side so he could lean over and smooth her cloud of hair back from her forehead. Grinning he leaned in to kiss her once more.

But she turned her head and denied him. "I'm pretty sure that since I outrank you, you have to do my bidding. Now go get me a beer Franklin or I'll have to report you to your new commanding officer."

He laughed as he rose and strode naked to the kitchen. The bottles in the door of the fridge clinked as he pulled it open. "What would you like Ma'am? We have an amber, an IPA, and some kind of wine cooler-y thing. You must have bought those."

"I'll have the amber." She scrubbed her hands over her face and pushed herself up to sit against the pillows. "And don't call me Ma'am. It makes me feel old even if I am three years younger than you." She laid her head back and closed her eyes again. "I think we'd better open some windows and get some air in here. It's as stale as an ensign's rack on a carrier."

Frankie's bare feet slapped against the floor as he neared the bed. He set the drinks on the bedside table and went to lift the window. "Been in a lot of ensign's bunks have you?"

Georgie cracked an eye with a sigh of pleasure as the fresh air flowed into the room. "Only when I was still an ensign and they were my own."

He picked up the bottles and handed her the beer, taking a big swig of the wine cooler himself. "I can't believe the incredible irony. I'm shipping out, on your ship, without you."

Georgie held the cold bottle between her breasts for a moment, relishing the cool damp glass against her hot flesh. "It's probably better this way. The CO, Commander Chandler, is kind of a hard ass. I'd give us 10 days at sea before we were caught in the act and sent home in disgrace."

"So should we bet on how long it takes before Danny, Kara, or both are sent home under threat of a demotion?"

Georgie laughed and moved to straddle him, sliding so that his semi hard cock was nestled just right beneath her slick folds. "No. Kara is way to straight laced. Whether she tells him tonight or they don't make the connection until they find themselves on the ship together, she's not going to give an inch until they make it back to shore."

Frankie took another sip of his bottle and feigned disinterest as she rolled her hips against him. "Danny too. Such a shame since they could be having fun like us." He closed his eyes and slung one arm over his eyes. "At least they are matched in rank. I've known Danny a along time and even though I've never seen him this obsessed with a woman, I just can't see him letting her boss him around like you try to do to me." He set his bottle on the bedside table and took hers from her hand and set it beside the first.

"Try to?"

"Yeah. You can try…" In one move he flipped them over so she was pinned beneath him. "but Sugar Plum, I'm a SEAL and I don't always need orders to get the job done right."


	10. Chapter 10 - Sailing

So..big time warning here..This is a full on bodice ripper kind of Harlequin detailed chapter. In other words, we're back in the M rating territory. Read at your discretion but don't come crying to me if you are now dissatisfied with your sexual conquests. This is fiction so we get to ignore reality and only focus on the good stuff. Actually Kara was feeling guilty about leaving her mother on her last days and Danny was distracted by a mental laundry list of crap he had to do before he shipped out on the Nathan James but I left that part out because I try to keep fantasy as far away from reality as possible. I had to get something posted tonight so I cut off the ending of this to refine and post separately so there's now one more chapter to go before they board the ship.

**Sailing, Christopher Cross**

Danny was being secretive about where he was taking her and Kara didn't want to be unprepared so she ended up fussing over what to pack. In the end she wore shorts and a tank top and packed a sunhat, long skirt and long sleeved shirt, and a bathing suit. When he picked her up in cargo shorts and a well worn oxford she had a moment of panic that she'd brought the wrong things. "I didn't know what I needed so.."

He wiggled his brows. "Got that little bikini you had the other day? That's all you really need."

The curiosity was killing her and she tried to peer in the back of his old Cherokee as she got in but he had a blanket spread over the contents. "You're just going to have to wait." He admonished as he slapped her ass playfully. "But I like these shorts too."

Kara giggled. "Yeah, I brought a suit. But you'll have to wait to see it too. Can't I at least get a clue?"

"You already got a clue. You need a bathing suit." He flashed her a cheeky grin as he pulled out into traffic and her chest squeezed just a little tighter. In a little over 24 hours they would part, probably forever. She was really going to miss his easy humor.

As they crossed the bridge and tunnel heading north to Newport News she took in the glorious view of the bay. She'd sailed in and out of Norfolk many times but she rarely needed to go north along the bay. Today there was a light breeze and the whitecaps were sparkling bright against the inky dark water. Across in the distance the colorful beach houses lined up along the bright strip of beach looked like a painting. There were boats of all kinds leaving trails of bubbles as they cut through the water. She watched as gulls swooped underneath the road decking to roosts she couldn't see. She had the strange sensation of feeling like she should be sad but just feeling free to let it go to enjoy the beautiful day. Reaching for the radio, she turned it on and the distinctive sound of Tom Petty poured out.

The sun was warm but the day wasn't overly hot and as soon as they left the highway they rolled down the windows to feel the wind in their hair. Usually Kara loved the air conditioning but now that she had gotten used to Halsey sitting on the seat behind her and breathing his doggy breath in her hair, she had gotten used to having the windows open. She realized it had only been two weeks, but she wondered if the change would be permanent. Right now the dog had his head out the passenger window and he was drooling up a storm, tail thumping her head rest.

"Fishing then? I am pretty good at fishing." Kara couldn't help but ask. She hoped it wasn't fishing though. She used to fish with her dad and brothers. Granted it was always in a stream or reservoir but still, she had the feeling that she would be confronted with a lot of memories if she was spending hours holding a rod and reel.

"Not fishing." He was still smiling, challenging her to guess.

"Diving? You're taking me diving in the bay?"

"While that would be interesting, diving in water this cold involves way too much clothing for what I have in mind." He turned off the road into a small marina. Small sailboats and charter fishing boats bobbed against the docks while further out larger yachts and sailboats swung around white and blue bouys. He pulled to a stop in one of parking spots facing the water. "I'll just be a minute." He hopped out of the car leaving the keys in the ignition. Kara watched in the mirror as he bounded up the porch of a rickety shack that advertised for bait, fishing licenses, boat rentals, and dinghy services. A single gas line extended out from a red tank on one side of the little building and a water line emerged from the other side. The first stop on the dock was a covered fish cleaning station.

A man with grizzled gray hair stuck his head out of a hammock and Halsey began to whine and paw at the window in a way she had never seen him do before. When the man saw it was Danny he rolled out and clapped him on his shoulder. She couldn't make out what he was saying but they appeared to be great friends. A few minutes later they both started toward the Jeep and Kara noticed Danny had a set of keys on a large foam key fob in his hand. So, whatever they were doing involved a boat somehow. The man he was talking to was tall and remarkably fit for his age. A faded gray shirt with a red and white divers flag on the front stretched over a well muscled chest. His calves bulged from beneath the hems of his slightly frayed cargo shorts, and a nasty looking knife was strapped over one hip.

Danny opened the door for Kara and she slid out as Halsey scrambled at the door behind her. When Danny opened the rear door he leapt out and put his paws up on the older man's chest with a yipping, puppy bark. "Halsey! Down!" she exclaimed and he dropped to the ground at her feet before Danny even had a chance to whistle at him. The older man looked her up and down and then winked at Danny before thrusting a well worn hand in her direction. "Well, well, Danny boy said you were special. If you've already taken command of Halsey you must be." His hand shake was warm and firm and she warmed to him instantly. "I'm Vince Drazinski and I am the owner of this fine marina. It's one of my charter boats you're gonna to use." He slipped an arm around Kara's waist and turned her toward the docks. "Think you can handle that one there?" He pointed to a sleek 37 footer. "That's the one there, third dock on the left."

The boat had a beautiful dark navy hull with a thin gold stripe at the top. The woodwork gleamed a warm orange in the mid-morning sun and the railings and cleats were polished in a bright brass finish. Looking over the rigging and winches she determined that one person could easily handle it alone. But she had a feeling there was a cozy cabin below deck that would make it fun for a pair. As she studied the boat she could feel both men's eyes on her. She turned and gave Vince her warmest smile. "The Double Palms there? That's the one?"

He grinned back. "Yep, what do you think of her?"

She was afraid she was staring open mouthed as she breathed out the words "My she's yar."

Vince gave her a one armed hug as he spoke over her head. "A Hepburn fan too? Don't know where you found this beautiful woman Danny but if you don't keep her, I will."

Kara laughed. "A woman is not for keeping Vince but if he can't sail that beautiful boat I might come back for you on the condition that you rename it."

He shook his head in mock sorrow "Alas, its bad luck to rename a boat so I'll have to just live off of this brief moment of hope for the rest of my life." Kara giggled like a teenager. She thought she could really get to like Vince. Then it occurred to her that if he was friends with Danny, she'd never be able to come back here again. Her mood sunk a little lower and for a moment she had to fight to keep a smile on her face.

He helped them load the boat and pointed out a few features to them both. The boat was very modern with optional powered winches and pulleys so it could be single handed in good conditions. As he gave them a quick overview of the navigation system it occurred to her that, while she had assumed Danny worked mostly on cruise ships or tour boats with a crew to navigate for him, he seemed quite at home. After the tour they prepared to say goodbye and cast off.

"Have you ever sailed before?" Vince asked Kara.

"Oh, once or twice." She replied with a wink.

"Alright then. If our boy gives you any trouble out there you just toss him over and head on back here!" Vince gave them a short salute and ambled back down the dock to his bait shack. "Fair winds and following seas!" He called over his shoulder.

They waved and clambered back on board. As Danny prepared the electric motor to take them out of the narrow harbor she debated how much she should ask him about his experience and how much she should share her own. Deciding it would be hard to hide that she could handle a boat like this on her own, she decided to just say she had learned in college…which was technically true.

"So where are we going to Skipper?" she asked him as they cleared the jetty. So far they had successfully managed a busy channel in and out of the harbor. Danny appeared to know his nautical right of ways pretty well. Halsey had immediately found a resting place near the bow.

"Well, I was thinking that since my personal weather girl has assured me we will have good weather, we could cross the bay today, head up to Tangier Sound, anchor off of the wildlife refuge for the night, and then make our way back down the Western shore tomorrow?"

She envisioned the route in her head, mentally estimating distances and speeds. They'd get a workout tacking across today but tomorrow should be miles and miles of glorious full sails as they came back down the bay. "Sounds great."

As the channel opened up into to the James River he slowed the outboard engine and they began to prepare to put up the sails. As with the navigation equipment, Danny clearly knew what he was doing. Even Halsey looked at ease lounging on the teak bow decking with his head in the wind. "So you've sailed a lot then?" She asked casually as she helped him unzip the cover from the mainsail and stow it in a cubby.

His hands stilled for a moment and he looked off over the water as if remembering something. "Yeah, well growing up in Connecticut there was tons of opportunity. And of course I've worked all kinds of boats." She nodded. She'd forgotten that he grew up near the coast. "I just love to be on the water." He waved one handedly at the mast. "But if I had the money, this is the kind of boat I'd want. Just something to get away on, have a good time, no noisy engine, no crowds." She pretty much agreed. He couldn't have planned a better activity for their last day and night.

As they shuffled back along the boom to the mast she asked "How do you know Vince? He seemed like quite the salty old dog?"

Danny chuckled as he began to crank the sail up the mast. "I guess you could say he used to be my boss, before he spent all his retirement on boats. He rents them and runs charters and makes a killing off the marina fees too." The wind quickly caught the sail and before long they were heeled up and clipping along. They relaxed on the deck. Danny sat with one leg stretched along the deck, one leg hanging over the side and Kara did the same in front of him so that their windward legs were able to kick the spray at the tops of the largest swells. With one arm he checked and adjusted the wheel and with the other he hung on to her waist. They spent a few hours that way, waving to passing boats and chatting about nothing important. Every 10 minutes or so they had to trim up the sails a bit and they would duck in unison as the boom passed over their heads. But it felt good to be out in the sun and spray together.

But at the same time, she felt a new awkwardness around Danny that hadn't been there before. They both seemed to feel the pressure of their last night together but neither wanted to acknowledge it. For his part, Danny seemed to be going to extra lengths to be relaxed as if the end wasn't in sight. She felt suddenly unsure. Should she ask him more about himself or not bother since it wouldn't matter anyway? Maybe she should just stick to facts. As they tacked across the bay she told him a few tidbits she knew about the Chesapeake and tried to avoid anything personal. Still, she could feel a new tension in her body that hadn't been there for the last two weeks and inside she just felt like crying.

As noontime rolled around and Kara's stomach started growing she wondered aloud what he'd brought for food. They found a relatively sheltered cove on the west side of the Delmarva peninsula and set the anchor. "You've been watching me like a hawk. How does a girl from Kansas know how to hand a sailboat?" Danny asked as they ducked into the small cabin area.

The near-lie rolled off her tongue too easily. "I learned in college. It's been a while but I still love it."

Danny started pulling food out of the small refrigerator. "Chicken salad for you; turkey for me; egg for Halsey. He gave a whistle and they heard the dog scramble down the steps. They sat at the banquette style table hip to hip. Kara couldn't help but eye the narrow entrance to the main bunk. You pretty much had to crawl in and considering Danny was over six feet tall she figured his feet were going to have to hang out the door. He realized where she was gazing. "After lunch maybe we should check it out. Before we change into our suits and have a quick swim?"

Her heart began to beat faster and harder and she set the remains of her sandwich down before replying with a mischievous glint in her eye. "I think we should, in case we need to make other arrangements in order to get a good night's sleep."

He slung one arm over her shoulder and pressed her back into the corner cushions. His green eyes sparkled and his beard tickled her ear as he whispered into it. "I'm not wasting the night sleeping. Are you?" Already her insides were in a knot and she squirmed as she felt a flush of wetness between her legs.

Her reply was a breathless "Nooooo" and then she reached up and pulled his lips to hers.

Lunch long forgotten, Danny claimed her lips in a searing kiss. The pressure of his warm lips against hers was electrifying and she opened beneath him. Shifting so they met chest to chest she answered his passion by sweeping her tongue into his mouth. He tasted like the beer he was drinking and the spicy pickles on their sandwiches and she didn't care. She just wanted to relish every last moment. As he pulled back she followed and they ended up pressed together against the bulkhead that separated the sleeping cabin from the galley. Kara's hands slid under the hem of his shirt and roamed his abdomen while Danny sank his into the hair at the nape of her neck and held her close for kiss after kiss. Her pulse was racing and she couldn't seem to get enough air but she couldn't let go of him. The heat of his skin sent tingles along her finger tips and she delighted in the taut skin of his chest. When he finally dragged his lips away enough to rest his forehead against hers they were both out of breath and her knees were trembling.

"I think we ought to check out that bed before I fall down." She whispered against his cheek.

"Mmm." He agreed. "But first we should get rid of these annoying clothes." He fingered the hem of her tee.

Kara grinned. She had never liked this game before but with Danny, there was no self consciousness. She was eager to see and touch him. "Ok. You first." She loved his form. She'd lived her life around well built men who kept themselves fit but she'd never really paid much attention before Danny. Now she wanted to memorize every inch of him, the feel of his skin and the cords of muscle that allowed him to move so gracefully. She wanted to revel in the size of him enveloping her and making her feel safe. He seemed to know it as he stepped back and kicked off his sport sandals. He watched her face as he began to unbutton his cargo shorts. He left them on, just a hint of well toned abs in the open waistline as he lifted his well worn polo over his head. Kara felt the flush of her arousal wash from head to toe. This was what she wanted with every fiber of her being in this moment. She reached out to trace the trail of hair that ran from the hard planes of his chest to his waistband but he caught her hand. "Uh uh. No touching until you're naked too." His voice was husky now and he looked her up and down, his eyes coming to rest where her shirt felt tight across her suddenly heavy breasts.

Kara lowered her eyes. No matter how many times she had exposed herself to him, she always felt slightly shy at the start. This time though, she wanted him to see her in her entirely. This could be the last time he really got a good look at her. She hoped he enjoyed the memory as much as she would her memories of him. She was determined to push past the vulnerable feelings and make this a moment he'd never forget. She noticed that his eyes were fixed on her waistline where her hands grasped the hem of her shirt. Slowly she inched it up higher and higher. As each inch of pale skin was revealed, his eyes moved higher and higher. She felt the warm air caress her bare ribs as she continued and then she had to stop watching him as she lifted her shirt over her face and her head. Her bra suddenly felt constrictive and she wanted to free herself completely but she forced herself to move slowly. She dropped her shirt on the cushions of the booth seating and returned her hands to her waist. She was pleased when his eyes lit up at the periwinkle blue lacy bra she had bought on a whim the day before. She'd never bought anything just to be seen taking it off, but Alicia had convinced her to splurge during their quick shopping trip yesterday. From the look on his face she knew it was worth it. She wondered how he'd respond to the matching panties. She fiddled with the drawstring tie on her skort. Once it was free she met his eyes while she toed off her sneakers and socks.

His gaze burned into hers. The smile she loved had been replaced with an intense concentration. It was one of the many things she loved about Danny Green. When he was focused he was focused completely. The boat rocked slightly as the wake of a another boat hit the hull and they each reached to steady the other without breaking eye contact. The touch of his calloused hand at her elbow and the feel of his shoulder beneath her fingers sent electricity coursing through her. It would only be minutes before she'd feel him all over. She backed away again and he raised an eyebrow. Did he doubt she would continue? She smiled wickedly then and wet her lips with her tongue, anticipating what was to come. She watched as he swallowed hard.

She let go of his shoulder where she had steadied him and returned to removing her clothing. She hooked her thumbs in the waistband of the skort and shimmied it down her thighs with an exaggerated wiggle of her hips. She heard his breath hitch out when she cleared the lacy panties she had bought just for him and took it as the signal to bend forward at the waist, blocking his view with a new view of her cleavage. As she straightened, tossing the skort to join the shirt, he answered her suggestive smile. She knew he liked what he saw. He had told her many times that her body drove him wild. She leaned back against the bulkhead with a nod toward his shorts, which now hung low and loose over the indentations of his hips, the evidence of his arousal straining against his fly.

She could tell he was getting impatient so she slipped her hands up over her abdomen, over her breasts, to circle her own neck. The sensation of her own fingers skimming her skin made her shiver in delight and she couldn't help but clench inside as she thought of how much better it would feel when he did the same. His hands flew to his waistband and made quick work of his pants. And now she finally had him how she wanted him. He stood as tall as he could under the curved ceiling and stared down at her. All six feet of male perfection for her and her alone. Her eyes traveled from his muscular shoulders to his strong feet, firmly planted to hold him steady in the gentle waves. "You look like you don't even need me." She nodded to his erection, already firm and tall.

His voice was rough with desire. "Oh, I need you like I've never needed anything before." She reached behind and undid her bra but she didn't allow the cups to fall away just yet. Instead she slowly slid the straps down her arms, removing first one than the other. Her heart was pounding in her ears and she was craving his touch. But she knew it would be only a few moments now. At last she slipped the heavy weight of her breasts from the silky cups and felt them grow impossibly tighter. Her nipples strained toward him as if they could close the gap and feel the satisfying brush of his skin on their own. He took the slip of fabric from her fingers and tossed it behind him.

When he reached for the tiny triangle of lace visible above the joint of her legs it was her turn to grasp his wrist and hold his hand back. "Uh uh uh. I'll do it." The panties tied at either side and she half turned to tug at one of the laces, his rough breathing egging her on. As she turned to the second side she could feel the brush of air over her curls. The anticipation of his touch was driving her wild. She felt swollen and heated. The fabric was becoming too constrictive. As she slipped the second tie free they fell to her ankles. She half expected him to immediately pull her close but instead his grin only increased. "Ladies first." He gestured to the narrow hatch.

She nodded and turned. She had to kneel to duck under the low ceiling at the bulkhead and he knelt behind her. Looking into the dimly lit space she saw that the entire hull was filled with a triangular mattress so someone tall could lay crosswise near the opening and have plenty of room. An unopened six pack of condoms was tucked into a nook along the bulkhead. "You brought an entire box?" She voiced the first thing that came to mind.

From behind her she heard him laugh. "I'm optimistic that it will be enough." His breath caressed the backs of her thighs and she realized then how open she had made himself to him. She felt the slide of her slick folds against one another as she shifted one knee to crawl forward. Her nipples grazed the faded quilt folded neatly in the middle of the space as she shifted forward. The sensation of her own arousal turning her on as much as knowing he was watching her intently. And then he touched her. A single finger lazily stroked from the back of her neck over each nob of her spine. The anticipation of where he would arrive made her quiver. She felt a gush of wetness as he crossed the indentation at the base of her spine. He palmed one check to hold her in place as his finger continued its lazy perusal of her centerline. If anything. he was slowing down. A long moan escaped her, sounding loud to her ears over the whispers of their movement and breathing, but she couldn't hold it back. She wanted his touch so badly. He slid lower, between her checks. The sensitive rim of her anus tingling as he skimmed over. And then he lightly, ever so lightly parted her curls.

She wanted to move, to slide back on his finger as he softly rimmed her opening but he held her firmly in place. She whimpered in protest. Her clit strained to make contact but he was careful not to touch her there as millimeter by agonizing millimeter he sunk two of his fingers into her. He was so slow that she felt the callouses of his dry fingers as they parted the aching, wet, ridges of her inner muscles. She wanted it to last but she couldn't help herself, she was trembling by the time he rubbed over her g-spot. "God, I am going to cum to soon, too easily." She heard herself mutter into the quilt. She wanted this. She wanted it with such an intensity it scared her. She knew he was going to drag it out for her. He had always been a generous lover. But she wasn't quite sure she could take it this time. She needed him to touch her, to put an end to this craving. She was going to go the rest of her life craving him, couldn't he give her this now?

She felt his beard scrape against one buttock as he chuckled in response. ""Not too soon. I can't wait too long either." He snaked one hand under her body until one palm was flat against her breastbone and lifted her like she was a china doll, shifting her further into the bow so that he could slide through the doorway as well. After sliding so that she could feel the hard planes of his abdomen pressing against her lower back he slipped the hand to the side and cupped one breast. The intensity of the sensation stunned her and she cried out again. Heat seared her and she panted into the quilt as he slowly squeezed the plump flesh and rolled her nipple without ever breaking the rhythm on the fingers pumping in and out of her. Her trembling built uncontrollably and if his shoulder arm hadn't been supporting her she was sure she would have been a limp puddle in the middle of the bunk. As it was she was pressing down to grind into his arm and drive her knees wider.

She was about to fly apart. She squirmed to press her clit against his thumb, his palm, anything but he managed to keep her from satisfaction for one moment longer. Damn she loved this. She doubted it could ever, ever be this good again. She knew without a doubt that he would be the best lover she'd ever had. She couldn't ever imagine letting anyone else touch her this way anyway. She would beg if she had too. She had no shame when it came to him. The feelings of pure freedom and joy welled up so intensely that she was crying before she even realized it. She felt the wet spot her tears made in cotton quilt even as she begged him. "Now, damn it!" She gasped against the damp cotton fabric. Ever attentive, he finally slipped his thumb along her aching flesh, sending a warning spasm through her that had her seeing stars "Oh God, Oh God." She called out, not minding anymore if the whole goddamn bay heard her. Her muscles relaxed in anticipation of the final spasm and when his teeth grazed her skin in concert with a final stroke of her clit she burst like a balloon against his hand and she laughed and cried at the same time.

As she returned to earth he reached over her for the box of condoms. The slide of his taut skin over her back set off a new wave of uncontrolled giggles. His voice was smug when he asked, "That good, huh?"

"Mmmmm" she replied between spasms of giggles. The tears were still rolling down her face as he pressed into her.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" He asked as his hips ground into hers, still from behind.

"No, no, no, no. It's good. Really good." She replied as the anticipation began to build again. "Whatever you do, don't stop."

She felt him smile against her spine. "I'm not planning on it." He nudged them further into the bow with an "Umph" and he sank deeper. Her knees were spread wide and with each long slow stroke his balls tapped her clit lightly. Great waves of sensation were rolling through her with each slow thrust. "Now it's my turn to say it's too soon." He panted in her ear. She thought about how he had taken the time to make it so good for her, the way he always did, and she raised her hips to press back into him even more firmly. She wanted him to feel as overcome as she did in that moment. She turned her head to the side so he could see her face. She was sure it was practically glowing.

Whatever inhibitions she had ever had were gone now. "Just let go. Let go and take what you can, while you can."

He was beginning to grunt with each thrust. His hands now gripping her hips in a way that she was sure would leave bruises tomorrow, but she wanted it. She wanted the wildness and the uncontrolled reactions and the inability to do anything but be in the moment. She knew he was not the kind of man that lost control easily, but she rejoiced in the fact that she could make him forget himself if even only for a few minutes. She met him thrust for thrust as he began to push harder, deeper, faster. She'd never been a talker but this time she egged him on. "Come on. Don't you feel me? You're going to make me come again." She ground the words out against the bed. His thrusts were losing coordination. His breath in her ear was ragged.

"Stay with me." He was practically pleading with her. "You know you can stay with me." With one hand she was grasping one of his wrists where it was braced like a stone pillar next to her head. While she used the other for counter leverage as she pressed back onto him so that her over sensitized nipples wouldn't scrape the covers. But he ground back into her and his weight pressed them down into a delicious tingling rub.

"I don't, I don't." Shit, now she was going to be the one to come too soon again. But she owed it to him to hold out. "I don't think I can.." She keened as she felt his teeth graze her shoulder just before he reached his own release. His entire body tensed and he shouted out. Instantly, her second orgasm struck her like a freight train. They collapsed together in a sweaty, limp heap upon the bed.

Kara was pretty sure she lost touch with reality for a minute before she registered the ringing ears and stars in her eyes. They were still lying heads toward the bow and, as she had predicted earlier, Danny's feet were hanging out the door into the galley.

They panted without words for several minutes. His weight against her back was lovely and she just wanted to lay there reveling in it. His lips moved drowsily against her neck. "Holy fuck, that was amazing Foster."

A few minutes passed as they lay sprawled together. The heat of the midday sun beating down on the deck above left the cabin stuffy and overly warm. Eventually Danny shifted to open the little hatch above them and she felt the fresh air brush over her heated backside. She was too boneless to move yet, but Danny was restless. He gently rolled her faceup until she lay pressed underneath him. The weight of him over her was satisfying and calming and they exchanged soft, soothing kisses for several minutes.

She felt spectacular. Every muscle was relaxed and the gentle rocking of the boat was lulling her to sleep against his shoulder. She barely registered when he tucked her under the quilt and went back up on deck.

When she woke she could feel that the boat was really speeding along. The slap of the waves against the hull beat out a loud and fast pattern. They were heeled over quite far to starboard. And every 15 seconds or so a large spray rained on the deck above. She peaked out the narrow porthole in the galley and saw that they were indeed zipping northward along the Delmarva peninsula. The sun had brought the temperature inside the hull up a few more degrees and even naked she was sweating. She found her backpack neatly stowed in a cubby and pulled out her bathing suit. As she slipped on the skimpy bikini she glanced around the galley and saw that Danny had also neatly folded her clothes with the lacy lingerie on top. She grinned and set it in her backpack. She didn't have any plans to redress until they disembarked then next day. Shrugging on Danny's discarded oxford as a coverup, she made her way above deck.

She found Danny and Halsey completely in their element. He was standing in the wheelhouse in a pair of olive swim trunks and nothing else. Droplets of spray, no doubt the result of the boat bounding over the mild 2 foot waves, glistened on his chest. Halsey was sitting on the bench along the port rail. He was hanging his head over the rail catching the spray the same way he enjoyed the wind in the car. She watched the shore a minute and estimated their speed at around 25 knots which was pretty impressive for a large cruiser like this.

She ducked under the arm Danny had outstretched to hold the wheel and wrapped her arm around his back. Despite the sun, his skin felt cool from the spray and wind. "Hey handsome." She stood on tiptoe and kissed his jawline. "You should have woken me to help you crew."

He pressed a soft kiss to her hair. "I figured I should let you sleep so you had energy for later."

"Oh what's going to be later?" Her facial expression may have feigned innocence but her hand was drifting lower to slide in his swim trunks and grip his ass.

He peeked at her bikini through the placket of his shirt. "I should warn you that two can play that game." His warm palm gripped her behind beneath the hem. They laughed easily together and Kara felt a wave of relief that the tension was gone and things were back to normal between the two of them.

By the time the sun began to set they had circled Tangier sound and found a quiet place to anchor for the night. They took a swim to wash off the sunblock and sweat of the day as the portable grill, hung over the railing, heated up and then Danny cooked up some juicy burgers. Afterward they toasted marshmallows over the coals and ate smores while lying on the roof of the cabin to watch the moon rise.

"I love the stars." Kara sighed happily. Her head was pillowed on Danny's shoulder and her belly was full. They had made love again as they changed from their wet swimsuits and neither was in a hurry for the night to end.

"It's almost always nice out on the water where there's so little light pollution. When was the last time you saw them this clear in Kansas?"

She thought back. It had been almost 10 years since she'd spent any significant time in Kansas. But her father used to bundle her up to show her the stars in winter sometimes. "The best time to see clear skies at home is in winter. I like this better because it's a lot warmer." She snuggled into his side a little deeper and he tightened his arm around her. "I've always liked the stars. There's something magical about light traveling thousands of light years to reach us, and our light doing the same in return."

He chuckled softly. "Spoken like a true scientist." Danny gently stroked her arm and they lay silent for a while. The moon rose up, at first a giant creamy ball along the horizon, casting a blinding glare over the water. The boat rocked gently. There were sounds of crickets and katydids from the distant shore of Smith Island and the occasional lap of water on the bay side.

Kara looked up at the stars. The scientist in her knew that even though from Earth they appeared fractions of a degree apart, in reality they were millions of miles from each other and only getting farther and farther apart, like a handful of glitter flung from a burst balloon. The next time she saw them, Danny would be gone. A lump rose in her throat. Like the stars, they had their moment together and now they would forever be moving apart. She clamped her jaw down to keep a sob from bursting forth.

Beside her, Danny tensed as if he sensed her sorrow. "You ok?" He murmured against her hair.

She turned her head away from the empty sky and pressed it into his side, breathing in his familiar scent mixed with cotton, sweat, and salt water. "I will be. I know I will be OK." She wasn't now, but she knew she could be, eventually.

He nodded as he replied on an exhale "Yeah, me too." Slowly he shifted them to sit and turned her toward him, pulling her into his lap. In the moonlight his eyes were deep, dark caverns, trained on her face. Wordlessly, they read each other's need and came together for a gentle kiss. They stayed pressed together that way, she with her legs wrapped around him, he with his hands holding her firm at her lower back, breathing in each other's air. After many minutes a breeze ruffled her hair, catching it on his beard, causing them both to reach up to smooth it back in place. Their fingers tangled together and they laughed, the spell broken.

"Let's go down to bed." She murmured and they slowly made their way below deck, checking the anchor and lines before they closed the small hatch. they dropped their clothes in the galley and crawled into the cozy sleeping compartment and directly into each other's arms. They didn't need to say it, but they both knew this would be the last time.

They made love slowly and intensely until they both fell to the bed exhausted. Lying curled with him behind her, feeling warm and safe and satisfied, she stroked his forearm and drew constellations between the freckles and scars there. She tried to stay awake, not wanting to miss one breath or sigh or even snore. But sometime after the first rays of sun began to lighten the portholes high on the hull, she drifted off anyway.


	11. Chap 11 - Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

My breakup with my first fiance was very, very ugly. We were very young and we weren't always the best at listening to each other or ourselves. I think we both saw it coming for a long time but didn't know how to stop it. Needless to say, weeks of guilt and misery followed. I tried to capture some of that freight train running toward a car on the tracks feeling in this. I hated to do it to Danny and Kara but honestly, they did it to themselves. Vince pretty much tells them what they need to do, but getting hit in the face yourself teaches you to duck a lot faster than watching Chuck Norris do it.

**Should I Stay or Should I Go?, The Clash**

"Arrrg, knock it off boy." Danny was laughing and shifting his feet. She lifted her head to see what was going on. His feet were indeed hanging out the bulkhead the way she had predicted the day before. He laughed. "I'm sorry I woke you. Halsey is licking my feet to let me know I'm overdue with his breakfast." He kissed her bare shoulder. "Be right back." She sat up, cross legged, the sheets pooling around her hips, and attempted to stretch the kinks out of her arms. They hadn't slept long but she for one had slept deeply. When her hands hit the ceiling she shrugged. Better get up then. She saw him bend to find his clothing and smiled. Nothing shy about her man.

Halsey barked and scratched at the panel. "Yeah, yeah, we're going." He ducked out and the hatch and a blast of refreshing air rushed over her. She rose and dressed quickly, pulling an old high school sweatshirt over her swimsuit. Over the last two weeks of trying to hide the fact she was in the Navy from Danny, she had come to realize how few clothes she owned that didn't have some kind of clue on them.

She joined him on the deck and saw he was already hauling up the anchor. "Soooo we slept a little later than I intended." He nodded at the sun, well overhead. "We're going to have to haul ass to get you back to your mother in time for dinner."

She smiled, almost grateful for the urgency to distract her from beginning the grieving process. "Good thing I'm such an experienced deck hand then! Let's haul to."

They worked quickly to set the sails and get underway. Then they took turns manning the wheel and retrieving food and coffee from the galley. Halsey resumed his seat at the port railing and they laughed easily together as they tossed bits of bread to the gulls and Halsey barked at them.

They made excellent time and when they expertly came alongside in Vince's marina the sun was still above the horizon. "See I promised I'd have you back in time."

By that point she was having trouble maintaining a happy face but she did her best. She gathered their bags and called Halsey to her side while Danny trotted up to the shack. She watched him run like it was no effort at all. Last time, last time, last time. The voice in her head insisted. She knelt by the car and called the dog close. "Now you promise me you'll take good care of him?" She whispered into the dog's neck. He licked her face. "I'll still love you boy, even if I'm not there with you." She took a deep breath to keep her tears at bay. Standing, she stood by the car scratching the dog behind the ears and watching Danny with Vince. Danny was a good man and she was sure she'd never forget him. She did her best to memorize his every feature. This would be the last image she'd hold on to, not whatever happened back at her apartment in an hour.

Vince was opening the door before Danny even knocked on it. The man always had seemed to have a sixth sense about people's movements. The giant man stood barefoot in the doorway, bare chested with a beer in one hand, a ring full of keys in the other. He looked over Danny's shoulder to where Kara was opening the back of his Jeep to start loading their gear in.

"I was wondering when you'd make it back. Cliff and Billy just came back from fishing up in Ellis Bay and said they saw the Double Palm anchored up in Lighting Knot Cove this morning without anyone on deck." Vince rustled around the side of the door to produce first one gnarly flip flop and then the other, throwing them down on the porch and then shuffling his dirty toes into them. "By the way, you can thank me for not telling the guys it was you so they didn't interrupt your little love nest. I thought I wouldn't be seeing you two for hours yet, but you practically out footed them!"

Danny smiled as he thought about how close to the limits they had been able to push the boat on the way back. He had to admit, he loved how easily Kara accepted challenges. "Well, the boat is pretty quick and we jibbed most of the way back. I promised I'd have Kara back in town for dinner with her mother by six."

Vince cocked his head. "You're not having a send off evening with her?" He should have known he'd never be able to get anything past the man who had taught him most of what he knew. Still he tried to evade.

"Nope, This was it. She's heading off on a work trip herself tomorrow." A permanent work trip, he thought to himself grimly.

Vince stepped out of the shack and took the giant foam key fob from Danny's hands and added it to the ring he was holding. He gave Danny a piercing look that made him want to squirm. "Woman like that's going to figure out that you aren't just a run of the mill sailor before too long. If you want to settle down anytime soon you're going to have to show a little vulnerability kid. Don't know what you're afraid of. Have any of the other guys met her before? Does she have some kind of reputation? She's certainly nothing like that frog hog of mine, Julie." Danny snorted. Far from it. Vince's first wife had been a woman five years younger than him who accepted his job a little too readily. People had tried to warn him, but she was buxom, smart, and charming. Of course, the minute he'd left the Navy she had divorced him for an even younger guy who was still visibly active. The only silver lining, as far as Danny could see, was that she had cheated first and saved Vince the alimony payments.

"Need I remind you what happened to my Lynnette?" Danny remembered all too well. Lynnette had been Vince's second wife and he was pretty sure Vince's only true love. "Yeah, but that was different. You were already married and she didn't find out you had moved up rather than retired until you got yourself shot at that Kuwaiti refinery raid. She thought you were going to leave her widowed with four kids."

Vince gave him a sharp look. "I taught you better than to think you're invincible. You want to keep her, you tell her the whole deal right now." He motioned over to where Kara was kneeling and talking to Halsey. "Heck, she can't possibly think he's just a pet."

Danny snorted. "No, she's too sharp for that. Frankie has her and her best friend convinced he's a cop and Halsey is his K9 officer."

Vince shook his head as he stepped off the porch. "Damn I'd like to see Frankie pull that one off."

"Ha! The dog is more convincing than he is. But, as you've said yourself, people believe what they want to believe, even when the truth's right in front of them."

Vince gave him a dark stare that reminded Danny of conversations with his middle school headmaster. "That's what's wrong with you young guys. In my day we were too eager to get tied down, in your's, you're gonna miss the chance. You should probably stop worrying about ending up like the Admiral and go for it."

Danny ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Don't even think about passing this on to him. I know you're the one filling him in on my comings and goings." The last thing Danny needed was his father getting involved. "Blame Frankie for the dating strategy." He figured since Frankie wasn't there to defend himself he could get out of this conversation before it got too much more uncomfortable.

But Vince wasn't buying it. He gave him a disappointed look over his shoulder as they crossed the lot to the car. "That's exactly what I'm talking about. Ever heard the expression amateurs talk strategy, professionals talk logistics?"

Danny was left chewing on that thought as Vince ramped up the charm for Kara. "And here you are. You brought the kid back safe and sound." Vince pulled her into his chest as if he'd known her for years.

"What conversation could you have possibly had in thirty seconds that you're quoting Omar Bradley now?" She asked. Danny made a mental note to ask her how she recognized a 65 year old quote from a WWII General.

"Oh, I'm just trying to convince Danny he should learn from my mistakes rather than making his own." Danny was thankful that Vince deflected the question. "Come on now, stand together with the water in the background and I'll take your picture." Vince fussed over them like a mother hen for a moment and then snapped pictures on both their phones and his own. "You certainly picked a looker." He smiled at Danny and Kara couldn't help but blossom under the man's shameless flirting.

"So, Danny tells me you turned out to know your way around a boat pretty well. I hear you made record time coming down the western shore this afternoon."

"Yeah, well the 1 foot chop and 20 knot winds out of north-northeast didn't hurt either." She dipped her chin and blushed slightly.

"She's modest too! Danny, this girl's a keeper." Vince pulled her in against his chest again and gave her a scratchy peck on the cheek that made her giggle in wide eyed surprise. "You're probably a damn fine meteorologist and love it and all but listen, if he doesn't have a ring on your finger by the end of summer you better come back and see me. I may be old but I still know how to treat a woman right. You can sail my boat anytime Sugar." Danny wasn't sure he'd seen Vince that friendly since Lynnette left or for that matter Kara so flirty. A laugh bubbled from her lips and she flipped her hair and fluttered her lashes at the older man. "Why do we have to wait until the end of summer?"

Vince tossed his gray mop back in an open mouthed laugh. "Oh Danny boy, I see why you've dug yourself so deep. I might have to give you a run for this one."

Danny smiled easily. "I'd like to see you try old man." He half expected Kara to give some platitude about how Vince was too much fun for her or something, but instead she appeared to be studying the large tattoo on Vince's left shoulder with a peculiar focus. It hadn't even occurred to Danny that she would think anything of it, but clearly she was intimidated or offended, because she seemed to stand back from Vince a little less relaxed than she had been a moment before.

"Well, we gotta go, so, It was nice to meet you Vince." She gave Danny a pointed look and then ducked around the car. Vince gave Danny a puzzled look but he had no idea what had spooked her so he just shrugged.

"I'll tell you all about my next job when I get back." He was about to signal to Halsey to jump in the back when he saw that Kara already had so he turned back to the driver's side. "Thanks for loaning me the boat. It was the perfect getaway and we had a great time."

Vince waved him off. "Anytime kid. Anytime." Danny reached through the window to unlock his door and then opened it. He was about to sit when Vince called back. "In case you've forgotten everything thing else I taught you, use your brain. Come back alive." Danny gave a wave out the window and then they were headed south again.

As they drove home Danny contemplated what Vince had said. Maybe he really should tell her how he felt and why he'd agreed to her plan to cut everything off after two weeks. Then even if she still didn't want to stay involved, at least he wouldn't be ending this thing full of guilt. He began running conversations in his head. He could start with "Technically, on the books, I'm a diver…" and go from there. Or he could just say "Look, I lied to you about just about everything except that I'm super into you." Or he could just start with "I'm sorry." He was pretty sure his best bet was the last option. He recalled Frankie asking him if she really was going to go back to Kansas or if she had made that up to limit their fling. He had to admit, a small part of him was still praying she had made it up. A teeny, tiny hope still existed that if he asked her not to break things off, she wouldn't.

He glanced over and saw that she had leaned her head against the window. "Tired?" He asked. They hadn't slept much after all, although that had never seemed to bother her before.

"Just thinking." Her voice seemed a little flat but he figured it was just the reality of their final goodbye settling in. They returned to silence for a while but he took her hand and held it, rubbing him thumb over the soft skin on the underside of her wrist. He resisted letting go until a stretch of road construction forced him to use both hands on the wheel. By the time they descended into the Monitor-Merrimac tunnel, his inner voice was doing double time psyching himself up to make a case to keep things going.

As they emerged back into the bright sun he took a deep breath and went for it. "You know, we don't have to.."

"How exactly do you know Vince?" She interrupted him.

"He was my boss, about 10 years or so ago." He tried to keep his voice casual.

"How old is he then?" She was looking out the window, her jawline firm. He thought he could almost see where her line of thought was going and it had him on edge. He really didn't want her to put all the pieces together and get pissed at him before he had a chance to apologize. He'd never seen her really angry and he was pretty sure she wasn't the type to just shrug and accept that she had been lied to. Guilt gnawed at his stomach.

"I guess about 60ish." He tried to distract her from digging too deep. "What, you don't like him? He's already planning your wedding Foster." He kept his tone light.

He glanced over and saw her lips had a slight curve to them. "You want to know if he's got a good enough pension to support you once you've ditched me?" When she didn't reply he took his eyes off the road long enough to see that she was staring at her lap now. Trying again said "He's sunk everything he has into his business and I'm pretty sure he lives in that shack when he's not out fishing so you'd probably be better off sticking with me." She sighed and he wondered what had her so preoccupied. She usually had a witty reply for everything.

He was wondering if she was going to give him a hard time for talking like the end wasn't twenty minutes away when she finally spoke. Her voice was low and rough. "My father had a very similar tattoo…and my brother." Oh. He almost slammed on the brakes right then and there but he did his best to play it cool. Maybe she just meant a shoulder cap. It could be intimidating, especially on a big guy like Vince.

"Lot's of guys get tattoos like that. They think it makes them look badass. If they were really all that and a bag of chips, they wouldn't need to wear it on their sleeve."

Kara shifted in her seat to face him. He cringed as her voice became more strident than normal. "Are you trying to say Delta's aren't badasses?" Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. She really did know what she was looking at. His stomach churned and he realized he was white knuckling the steering wheel. He decided to play ignorant himself. Judging by her stiff posture and clamped jaw, now was not going to be the time to come clean with her after all.

"Vince was in the Navy for a while and he did some work for the Army too." He tried to imply that it was all in the past, way before he knew him. It would not help his case to mention that he met Vince when he was 13 and had worked with him for most of his twenties. "But don't let his tats rattle you. He's a nice guy. He's still friendly with both his former wives. He's a sucker for kids too. Has four of them." Yeah he was the epitome of quiet professional, considering he'd had the four kids without his young wife even guessing he wasn't really working as a naval instructor.

She gave him a dubious look. "He may have told you he was just in the Navy, but those triangles with the knife through them instead of stars on the flag mean something else." Yep they did, they meant Vince had been one damn fine sniper back in the day. He kept silent lest he incriminate himself. Now he was trying to think, had he ever worked with a Foster? He calmed himself by rationalizing that if he was active he would have met him around Little Creek at least once. But he was dying of curiosity and didn't want to give anything away. "So your father has that same tattoo? Must be about the same age. You think he and Vince are in some kind of Vietnam Vet biker gang or something?" He wasn't sure why she was opening up this much now, but he suddenly felt desperate to know everything about her.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw her give him a withering look. "No, his had a half 'shute and skulls on the flag. But, it's the same idea." No shit? her father was a Force Recon guy then? "And your brother's?" She seemed to shrink into her seat a little and he wondered what the story was there. Maybe she had an abusive family? She'd certainly never talked about them before other than to say that the best thing about a short term relationship was that he didn't have to feel obligated to meet her mother. He'd figured her parents were divorced, so maybe her brother and father were on the other side, so to speak. He'd certainly seen that happen in his own family.

"Professionals like that don't get inked until they're out. My brother's flag wasn't filled in but he was planning on arrow heads and lightning daggers." Ok, so he was a Ranger. He'd worked with quite a few in Afghanistan but he couldn't recall ever meeting a Foster. Now what the hell could he say. Oh, by the way, you sound like you aren't too keen on guys in this like of work but… No. Better to stick with the original plan, see this thing through to the end and go quietly. He wanted to punch something but instead he clenched his jaw and accelerated to pass a truck.

"Well, all I know is that Vince has always been an upright guy and I enjoyed working with him when I did." There, he'd leave it at that. Take out the word 'all' and it was true. "So are you saying your Dad and your brother are like serious scary guys? Is this a warning that I should leave you alone, not try to contact you, avoid Kansas for a while?"

"I don't want to talk anymore about them." She folded her arms over her chest and stared out the window again. She didn't say anything more and before long they were turning into the parking lot at her apartment complex. He pulled into a space and put the car in park. Unbuckling, he turned toward her, all the excitement to press for a stay of execution had fled with the odd conversation. He'd never gotten such a deflated vibe from her before and he was left confused and wary. He'd planned what he was going to say yesterday while she slept and then he'd rewritten it all today. Now that she'd accurately deduced Vince's calling, he was at a loss.

"Well, I guess this is it." He couldn't help the hopeful note in his voice. Say something Kara, anything. She wasn't meeting his eyes and her hands were clamped together in her lap. "It's been fun." He stalled as much as he could but she wasn't responding. Come on. Please, please stop me before it's too late.

"I, uhm, yeah, fun." Already it felt like the chasm of Niagara falls was opening up between them. She squeezed her eyes tight before finally making eye contact.

"Help me get my stuff?" He didn't miss the moisture at the corner of her eye but she didn't cry or bemoan her circumstance. She just sat there, stiff and stoic as a tree, staring right through him.

"Yeah." And then he was going to tell her and ask her to stay. His mind suddenly kicked into overdrive figuring out how to persuade her. She could get a meteorology job anywhere. He was sure that whatever it was she did in her job she was excellent at it. There was probably a weather service office or something nearby she could do it from. If he had to, he would get the Admiral involved and make it happen. Even the drive up to Washington or Alexandria would be ok with him if it meant more time. His heart felt two sizes too big as he opened the back to lift out her bag. He rounded the corner to the passenger side and nearly collided with a virago of a bleached blond woman in a white pantsuit and blazing neon green scarf.

"Yoohoo, You need to go change right away missy. We have dinner reservations with the Granderson's in thirty minutes." Ah, so this must be Kara's mother. "Tell your man you'll see him in a few months and get up there to change. I laid out a nice dress for you."

Kara slid slowly from her seat and eyed her mother with trepidation. "Have you been drinking?"

The older woman didn't even look the slightest bit offended. "Not a drop. Now get a move on."

Danny reached for Kara's hand to stay her but she was already being bullied up the sidewalk. "No teary goodbyes here!" Her mother chortled. "She'll call you." Danny watched incredulously as her mother slung an arm over her shoulder and began shepherding her toward the door.

So that was it then. A second too late and his opportunity had been destroyed. He wondered if she'd told her mother to meet her there, to cut them off before it got too mushy. Now it was over. He would go home, have a nice stiff drink, and finish packing tonight. Tomorrow he'd do all the busy stuff, and Monday he'd be headed outbound and it wouldn't be a problem he could worry over anymore. He turned to get back in the car, already feeling a strange combination of numb and angry and disappointed. He couldn't believe she'd not even resisted enough to say a proper goodbye. Was it really that easy for her?

"Danny, wait." He looked up to see that she was jogging toward him. Her mother stood disapproving in the entryway of the building. Kara's pale limbs flashed in the dappled late afternoon sunlight as she jogged lightly over to him. Despite willing himself not to get his hopes up, his heart leapt into his throat. Behind him, Halsey clawed and whined at the window. Here was where she'd confess that she really couldn't leave and he'd have his chance to come clean and make it all right.

"Something you forgot to say?" His arms found their rightful place around her waist and he drew her close so that her hips cradled his.

"Not exactly." She drew him even closer for a sweet, slow kiss. Her hands clutched at his shoulders and his arms banded her waist tighter than was probably comfortable. But he didn't care. He wanted her to feel his willingness to go on. He certainly sensed the same longing in her.

They didn't break apart until her mother called from the sidewalk. "Come on Kara. You don't keep a woman like Amy Granderson waiting."

She rested her head on his collarbone, not looking at him but not pushing him away either. "Danny, would you mind doing me a favor?" Here it was, she was going to ask him to come home with her or something and they could hash it all out. His heart began to beat heavy.

He nipped her lips "Anything for you."

She answered his kiss and it was a long pause before she spoke again. When she did, he almost didn't believe his ears. "Get the heck out of here."

He stiffened. As she went on, he had the odd sensation of being ten seconds behind and having to catch up. What was she saying? "It's been amazing, these past two weeks, but I really have to go now and I can't do that with all this temptation staring me in the face." She was pushing away, stepping back up the curb. His limbs felt heavy and helpless to stop her. "You have my number, I have yours, soooo." She let it trail off as she turned her back on him. He watched her walk toward the door. What the fuck was she doing? He realized then that he'd harbored the belief that she'd never be able to make the clean break even though it had been her idea right from the start. Who really did that? At the door she turned and gave him a small wave and then she was gone. He could see her in his mind's eye, right there in front of the door, but she wasn't there anymore. She'd kissed him goodbye and left him there with his mouth hanging open.


	12. Chapter 12 - The Promise

This is an updated version of this scene. And now I have a little story. Almost 22 years ago to the day, I was supposed to go to a track meet but I just didn't feel right. So I called my mom and asked her to come pick me up. When I got in the car my mom promptly told me my grandmother had had a stroke and died earlier that day. While the dean was sympathetic, I got detention and a bunch of units (my school's code word for demerits) for skipping without telling anyone where I was. That Friday night I showed up at the assigned building to take my penalty but the proctor showed a movie and then let us out early...except my parents were busy making funeral arrangements so I had to sit on the steps for two more hours until they could pick me up. The moral of the story, despite the fact that fairness gets used to justify all sorts of stuff, life is rarely fair.

**The Promise, When in Rome**

Kara and Alicia had been bunk mates several times before so they knew the routine. Kara took the bottom, Alicia the top. Kara unpacked everything from her duffle and neatly filled her lockers, Alicia hung her uniforms and left everything else in her duffel to use as an additional pillow. As they worked on setting up their room they chatted.

"I don't think I've ever been called back with such short notice. What do you think is up?" Alicia was sitting on Kara's bed filling her toiletries basket while Kara was putting up pictures in her locker.

"I don't know. Since we were instructed to bring winter gear I assume we're not headed back to Western Africa. I hope it's not another one of those NATO exercises. The last one seriously beat down my staff in the CIC. They made it so damn difficult and had us working day and night." Although her staff had griped, Kara was rather proud of that training. It had been her first in the role of Lieutenant so it had been a great confidence booster for her that her team had executed their duties perfectly. On the one hand, she didn't want to work the staff to exhaustion again, on the other hand, it might be good to keep herself busy so she wouldn't have time to wallow in her pain.

Alicia straightened up and studied the pier through their tiny window. "Soooo, some nice looking guys sitting out there, but as usual, no girls. At least you'll have good company."

"Mmhum." Kara smiled at her friend. "Does Sarah know you have such a wandering eye?"

Alicia started making up her bedsheets with brisk, efficient movements but she shook her curls in laughter. "Sarah knows everything. After 6 years together, as long as I don't start raving about any particular woman, she doesn't get jealous." She glanced out the window again. "Looks like we're getting a SEAL Team. They've got at least one dog. Based on what I can see of their uniforms from here I'd say maybe Mountain guys?"

Kara snapped a sheet briskly. "A dog huh? When I came aboard this morning they were bringing some crated equipment into the helo bay too. Maybe we're just a ferry for their training mission and we'll get a nice easy cruise out of it. OF course, we'll have to put up with a bunch of muscle bound jerks who think they walk on water."

"Ha, a cruise with a parka? I'd take a nice balmy equatorial run with some action given the choice." Alicia took one last look out the window and then flopped down on her newly made bed, feet hanging off the side.

A sharp crackle sounded from the PA system "Commander Slattery requests the presence of all senior officers at the executive wardroom for a mission briefing at 1700 hours." Kara glanced at her watch and was relieved to see that she had 45 minutes to kill. Having served on the Nathan James almost continuously for the last six years, she knew she had time to fix up her hair and neaten her uniform. She would likely be one of the most junior of the senior officers and she wanted to make a good impression. A few minutes passed in companionable silence while she applied a few extra pins to her tucked braid and lightly applied some lipstick.

Outside their door they heard Lieutenant Burke showing someone to their berth. "You lucked out. Got a room all to yourself down that passage there on account of the dog." They heard the dog scratch and whine at their door as it passed, but it moved on when its handler gave a short whistle. Immediately Kara thought of Halsey and wondered if he missed her as much as she did him.

Alicia began rummaging in her duffel. "Guess we'll be close to the dog. Hope it's friendly. Too bad we can't have a ship's cat. You could use some fur therapy to cheer you up." She opened a digital reader and began flipping through a magazine.

Kara smiled a little thinking of how Halsey licked her face when he greeted her. Danny had said he was a service dog. She assumed he was being trained to help Frankie with crowd control or something like that because he was a very smart yet friendly dog. "I don't think they train these kind of dogs to be friendly."

"What did you tell that guy from the club? Are you going to see him again?" Alicia looked up from the reader with sympathetic eyes. "It seemed like you were really into him. We missed you at the pool on Sunday and took bets on whether you'd actually been able to say goodbye."

"Then I hope you bet on me. I said goodbye Saturday night." She sighed and sat on the bunk below. "Is it easier to go when you know you have Sarah to come home to?"

Above her, she heard Alicia shift and then her arm appeared, dangling over the side like she didn't have the energy to lift it. "No. It always sucks. Plus there's huge amounts of guilt. It's one thing to deny yourself, but I'm asking her to make a huge sacrifice every time I'm away too."

Kara thought about that. Saying goodbye had been agonizing. But she had seen what her mother had sacrificed to allow her father his freedom. and she just couldn't bring herself to ask that of him. "I know I did the right thing. It wouldn't have been fair, right? I mean, who would wait for months on someone they had only known for two weeks?"

Alicia didn't answer right away and Kara went back to pulling items out of her bag. She reached in and her hand found something wrapped in paper. Confused, she pulled it out and was surprised to see a package wrapped in the funnies page that she definitely had not put in there herself. She opened the paper to find a ziplock bag filled with squares of fabric, embroidery floss, and a few sewing notions. She stared at it dumbfounded for a moment. Her mother had never given her a going away gift before. She was more the type to give everyone on her Christmas list a twenty dollar scratch card that she picked up at the liquor store on the way to dinner. There was a slip of paper tucked inside so she took that out and unfolded it to see her mother's neat handwriting. "Your father used to say that the worst part of being away was that we stopped having nearly as many shared experiences. I made us matching kits so we can combine our efforts into something special when you get back. I'll be thinking of you with every stitch. Love Mom."

She was still wondering about it when Alicia finally replied. "Then again, I sometimes wonder if Sarah would be better off if I left her entirely. It would free her up to find someone who could really be there for her, all the time." Kara nodded. She remembered that during particularly hostile arguments her father used to say something similar. "This is what I do and it's not going to change. If you can't handle it Debbie, well I can't make you stay."

Kara sighed, her heart heavy in her chest. "I don't know. I suppose it's too late anyway. But I really want to look him up when we get back. Is that wrong? I think I'm going to have physical withdrawal for the next few days..but I don't think it's a very nice thing for me to do. He'd be pissed if he found out I was lying to him all along and that would just hurt him. And he was a good enough catch that he's sure to have somebody new by then so it really wouldn't be fair of me to do that, right?"

Alicia went on "It's not like Sarah couldn't find someone else. But you know what, who's to say what's fair? My mother always says we have a responsibility to do what we can for our community and our future. When I think of my future, it is me and Sarah and our kids living in a world I helped make safe. In a way, it wouldn't be fair to either of us if we didn't get to have that together. It's not just the things we do together that make us right for each other, it's the people we make each other be."

Kara glanced to the picture Vince had taken at the marina, now taped in the bottom corner of her locker. She thought about her mother's note. The guilt nearly crushed her yet again. All those wonderful good times, cooking dinner together, working out together, hiking with Halsey, lying under the stars on the deck of a sailboat, weren't just in the past. They had changed her somehow. Was she giving that up so he could be happy or so she didn't have to feel guilty, or worse yet, let him down when she told him the truth? It didn't matter that they were good things, it hurt to think about them now anyway.

Alicia hung her head over the side of the bunk. "You know what? I think you should go for it. Show up in your uniform after he's had blue balls for a few months and see what kind of reaction you get. It will give you something to look forward to when we get back." Alicia spoke with the kind of confidence that Kara had noticed people in long term relationships, who had forgotten the insecurity of single life, often used in these situations.

She held up the sewing kit. "I already have something to look forward to. Mom and I are going to make something together." She placed the kit in a drawer and checked her hair one last time. As she opened the door Kara said "Thanks for cheering me up. As for the rest, I'll think about it. I have the feeling I'm going to be the one with blue balls though." She chuckled as she headed to her meeting. She was almost hoping they would have something extra challenging on this mission to distract her for the next few weeks.


	13. Chapter 13 - It Must Have Been Love

I saw the S3 trailer! Thanks to double scotch. single malt for the heads up. I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it...oh that's a different chapter. I swear this is the last one before everything goes full on fubar.

**It must Have Been Love, Roxette**

Danny shielded his eyes from the sun as Commander Chandler asked him some questions and filled him in about his plans for the SEAL team's lodging and equipment space. The sun made his tired eyes ache but he stood attentively, doing his best not to sway on his feet. After the cool welcome from the CMC he wasn't sure what to expect. But so far Chandler had been extremely professional and without a hint of animosity. He wasn't surprised. When he'd talked to his father on Friday, the Admiral had indicated that Chandler had a very good reputation. Although still confused about why the team was being brought in on a six month weapons testing assignment, he had resigned himself to make the best of it. At least he wouldn't be cooling his heels in Norfolk looking for Kara everywhere he went.

"Ahh, Lieutenant Burk, just who I need. These are Lieutenant Danny Green and Admiral Halsey." Chandler stopped a tall black man hustling along the port side rail. "His team is coming on board to assist yours in our upcoming mission. I don't know all the details yet, but I believe you two will be working quite closely together. Can you show Green where his room is? I was going to so I could find out more about his team's capability and experience," he nodded toward the docks below, "but our guest of honor has arrived and I need to make an appearance."

"No problem sir." Lieutenant Burk turned toward Danny and stuck out his hand. "Pleased to meet you." Although he was clearly sizing Danny up, his grip was warm and not overly firm. Danny took in the intelligent gaze, broad shoulders, and precise cut of his uniform. Carleton Burk was clearly a guy who didn't need to swagger or put on airs. He just naturally exuded quiet confidence. A feeling of relief washed over him. You never knew when you were going to have to work with someone who turned their insecurities into some kind of competition. "And welcome aboard Admiral." Halsey, trained to know his own name, raised a paw.

"Green, this is Lieutenant Carleton Burk. He's the leader of our Tac team and one of my finest officers. I apologize for the short greeting, but we'll talk later for sure." The two men nodded and Chandler strode off.

"Welcome aboard. I assume Nishioka gave you keys?" Carleton headed for a nearby hatch, all business. Danny nodded and quickly shouldered his bag and hustled after him. "You ever been on an Arleigh Burk class before?"

"Once or twice." They began descending steps. "Sure smells better than a carrier."

Burk laughed. "Yeah, we got a tight crew here and the XO does not tolerate cutting corners so the Nathan James has been pretty well cared for." As they began weaving through narrow p-ways Carleton smiled at and greeted almost everyone by name. Danny could see that Burk was well respected by the junior officers and enlisted alike.

Rounding a corner, they came upon Frankie chatting with some guys that stood to attention the minute Burk entered the space. "At ease gentlemen." He tilted his head toward Danny. "This is Lieutenant Green and Admiral Halsey." His eyes lit on Frankie. "Hey Benz, nice to see you again." They chatted for a minute about guys they knew from the gym, a few of whom were on Burk's team.

"So Halsey must be the dog you were talking about?" One of the young guys asked Frankie. Danny wasn't surprised. He was used to Halsey getting attention every time they were on a new ship.

"Yeah." Frankie stood a little taller. "Halsey, say hello." The dog just cocked an ear at him. Frankie whined at Danny. "I gave him a cheeseburger while you were moping this morning and still no joy!"

"It's been three years Benz and you still don't believe me that he can't be bribed, do you?" Danny turned to the group. "As we get working and training, I'll introduce you all formally so he'll consider you part of his team. He's trained to follow a chain of command but, much to Frankie's eternal frustration, only one person can be in command at a time." He saw Frankie slipping a biscuit out of his pocket. "He's a beggar at dinnertime but he's not a pet. No treats, Benz." He gave Frankie a pointed look.

Frankie rolled his eyes. "Oh come on grumpy pants. This is an investment in my health and well being. I have to sleep in the same apartment as this guy. It pays for me to stay on his good side. Especially since I have no control over him."

Danny said something to the dog and it lay down between his feet, ignoring Frankie. Not to be deterred, Frankie called him in a sing song voice. "Come on good boy, Uncle Frankie has something good for you." Danny just shrugged and leaned against the bulkhead, trusting that the dog wouldn't move a muscle even if Frankie pulled a steak out of his pocket.

They were interrupted by an announcement. "Commander Slattery requests the presence of all senior officers at the executive wardroom for a mission briefing at 1700 hours." Danny suppressed a sigh. He'd hardly slept since Friday night and he felt drained from head to toe. He was fine chilling with some guys he probably needed to get to know to work with, but he really didn't want to put on a smile and go make nice and try to match faces and insignia to a bunch of unfamiliar specialties tonight. He wanted food, shower, and bed. And he really was only going to eat because he had to feed the dog anyway.

"Sorry Burk. Guess you'll have to entertain Eeyore here a little longer. I'd love to tag along but that meeting is above my pay grade."

Danny narrowed his eyes on him. "You hate meetings."

"Yeah but I have a feeling this one is going to be unusually good." Frankie raised his hands in a shrug.

A PO3 with a tag that said Cossetti broke in to the conversation, eying the dog warily. "So he'll only respond to your commands?"

Danny nodded at the dark haired man. "Unless I tell him someone else is boss."

"That's so cool. So what happens if you die, like in action or something?" Danny wanted to give the kid a dressing down for asking such a tactless question, but he just didn't have the energy. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Burk stiffen and frown.

But Frankie just shook his head and snorted. "You can't let him die because the only person I've ever seen order that dog around without his permission is his girlfriend. If we kill him off she'll be pissed and you do not want to mess with her. And if that's not a scary enough prospect, she's best friends with my girlfriend so then Georgina will get pissed at me which will make me pissed at you. And since I'm the next in command, that would be bad for you." A nervous laugh echoed in the small space.

Danny shot Frankie a glare. Seriously? He had been able to not think about her for the last ten minutes and now he was seeing her face in his head again and getting that seasick feeling he'd had all night yesterday. "Oh for goodness sakes Frankie." He shook his head and clicked impatiently at Halsey. "Didn't you get the bulletin? It's over now so thanks for that reminder." Halsey scrambled to his feet, ready for the next command and Danny turned to Burk intending to ask him to show him the way again.

"She didn't come back after dinner last night?" Danny shook his head no. Frankie lowered his voice in disbelief. "She didn't even call?" Another no. "That sucks man." Yeah, no kidding. He didn't even have the words to describe how much. "Don't worry, I'm sure things are darkest before the dawn." Frankie patted him on the shoulder but his face was suspiciously mirthful for a man supposedly comforting his friend.

Danny tried not to scowl at the other guys avidly listening to Frankie announce his total defeat, but he had a feeling he'd completely failed. He was saved from an awkward conversation he didn't want to have in public when Burk rapidly excused them and began showing him down the next corridor toward his berth. He barely noticed when he had to call Halsey off a door midway down the corridor. He was fighting to focus on whatever Burk was saying but the longing was so intense he could practically hear her laugh, smell her shampoo. He'd laid awake for hours last night thinking about every wrong step, every missed opportunity. Worst of all, he couldn't stop remembering the look of torture on her face as she gave that last wave and disappeared into her building.

Burk opened the door and stepped aside so he could throw his bag on the bunk. "Heads two doors back. I'll be back in 20 to show you up to the wardroom, ok?"

Danny said something he hoped was intelligible and then he was shut in the room, almost alone. It was practically a closet, just four walls, with only one door and no windows. Although one wall was covered in cubbies, he didn't have it in him to unpack now. He flopped down on the bottom rack and Halsey immediately laid his warm head on his knee. Danny idly stroked the soft fur under the dog's ear. "So this is it boy? A little box here, a little box there, until we come home in a little box for good?"

Halsey whimpered and put his front paws on the bed. "Yeah, come on." The dog hopped up and lay down, his big body pressed into Danny's but he hardly noticed the warmth. He tried to focus on the dog's breathing and empty his mind. He was just drifting off, taunted by an image of Kara, laughing as wind and spray whipped her hair while she stood at the bow of the Double Palm, when Burk came to get him for the meeting.


	14. Chapter 14 - Broken Wings

WebMD is evil! If I don't post for a few days you can assume I am dying of rabies. It's a shame really because Danny is getting ready to chew Frankie a new one and that's a conversation I really want to eavesdrop on.

**Broken Wings, Mr. Mister**

"Permission to..." as Kara opened the door to the wardroom she was interrupted by a sharp bark and a giant dog hug. Before she had barely entered, Halsey had pushed past the watch officer and had his paws on her chest. She stumbled back just a little as he rested his 70 pounds of doggie weight on her chest to begin happily licking her face.

A short whistle from her left alerted her to Danny's presence as Halsey immediately dropped to a crouch on the floor, his tail still twitching a little as the dog watched her face. Stunned, her first reaction was to begin brushing the dog hair off her uniform. So much for making a professional first impression.

She had barely registered Danny and his SEAL attire before Commander Slattery exclaimed "Lieutenant Green!" The tall man was frowning intently at the younger lieutenant. "If you cannot control this dog around my officers he will have to be leashed or kenneled at all times."

Danny looked as stunned to see her as she felt. He opened his mouth and then closed it and then opened it again all the while staring at her. When he didn't answer the XO Kara felt compelled to respond.

"I'm alright Sir, just startled." Danny was here, right in front of her, right now! What the hell was he doing here? Her eyes swept the room but everyone else looked like they belonged. For once Kara was at a loss for what to say or do so she held herself stiffly formal as she brushed the fur off of herself, trying her damnedest not to stare at Danny. Best have it look like they'd never met before and then sort it privately later.

Danny finally found his voice. "Yes Sir, Sorry Kara. I am as shocked as you are..usually, um, Admiral Halsey is more predictable." Just the sound of his voice, no matter what he was saying, brought a flood of memories and conflicted emotions. Her stomach clenched and her pulse ticked up a notch. Her instant response told her that yes, this was her Danny, not some twin she hadn't heard about. Her pulse thudded in her ear and she briefly closed her eyes as she continued brushing her sleeves. Should she be happy to see him or not? Should she be angry that apparently he'd lied as much as she had? For once Kara was at a loss for what to say or do.

"You know each other then?" Slattery was watching them intently so Kara kept her eyes on the dog and resisted the urge to look Danny over.

"No sir." "Sort of." They both spoke at the same time. She flashed him a glare. What was he thinking admitting anything? He had to know nothing good could come of that.

At least he could read her raised eyebrows well. "Uh, not really sir. We just met in the P-way a little while ago and, ah, Lieutenant Foster is apparently a dog lover."

Slattery looked at her for confirmation. "Yes sir," She met his eyes and hoped it was convincing. ".. and now I see why I shouldn't have given the dog so much attention sir." She was glad Danny had given a plausible explanation.

"Apparently Admiral Halsey likes the ladies." came a drawl from the other side of the wardroom effectively breaking up the group. Kara smiled widely, thankful for the rescue.

Danny's eyes narrowed when he saw her warm smile directed at the tall man pouring coffee at the buffet console on the other side of the room. And his hackles rose when she waved one of those cute little hand fold waves that girls give their close friends…and boyfriends. "Hey, Burk, If I'd have known you'd be here I would have put on a bit more makeup. Pour me one too, will you?" Burk took down a cup without hardly looking to see whose it was and poured. Danny felt his face begin to heat as the man added 1/2 a sugar and then plenty of cream, just the way Kara preferred. Obviously they knew each other well.

"No need, Foster. You've already got half the ensigns praying for an assignment in the CIC as it is." She chuckled. Burk was one of her favorite people. They went through the academy together and had been the top of the male and female midshipman at commissioning.

"Green, might as well come sit with us. We don't bite, we've just known each other since our academy days and we've been on the Nathan James together for what..."

"Five years together." she supplied. Damn, she looked good with her hair pulled off her neck like that. He couldn't take his eyes off her while she was trying to look anywhere but at him.

"Yeah, five years, so I won't say we know everything about the ship, but we probably know more than most."

Danny eyed Carlton speculatively. He had to admit to himself, Carlton was a good looking guy. And their tour and conversations earlier had already told him the man was intelligent enough to hold his own with Kara. So it rankled a little to see him and Kara so buddy-buddy. He faced Kara more directly. Her eyes were wide and she was worrying her lower lip between her teeth. "So, where have you been in five years on this ship? I was telling Carlton earlier that I'm usually only on the big ships for a few days at a time while in transit, between assignments."

Her eyes went dark with alarm when he mentioned talking with Carlton earlier. It seemed to take her a moment to find her voice. "We mostly stay along the East Coast, West Africa, Western Europe."

Danny nodded. He was rapidly assimilating what he'd heard learned in the last two minutes with what he already knew. He figured she probably really had studied Meteorology. It was offered at the academy and would be a good fit for a surface warfare officer. The fact that she had made lieutenant in five years while assigned to one of the most desired and therefore competitive ships told him two things. She hadn't lied about her age and she must be very good at whatever her specialty in the CIC was.

He didn't really know how to address her in this situation so he said what he would say to another officer he'd just met. "Africa? You see any action there?" Even as he was saying it he cringed because once you have spent two weeks in bed with a woman, asking her if she's seen any action, in any context, sounds just plain wrong.

She frowned slightly at his question. "Well, not exactly, I did the same thing I do everywhere, coordinate information, make analysis," Kara smiled nervously. "..check the weather."

"Oh come on Kara," Carlton interrupted as he handed her the coffee. "You are too modest and you know it." He turned to Danny "Help yourself to the coffee by the way." Danny nodded and moved to the service buffet across the room, grateful for a little separation from Kara. He was happy to see her, worried, stunned, and a little jealous of her obvious ease with Carlton all at the same time. He needed a little space to process. "Don't let Foster fool you. She's the brain that runs this place. I wouldn't be here if she hadn't saved my ass in the Congo."

Danny's gaze swung back to the petite woman that he had come to think of as a sexy brainiac scientist, correction, his sexy brainiac scientist. He wanted to hear the story and it was pretty standard to regale new crew members with tales of missions past so he egged Carlton on a little. "I've spent most of my time recently in the Makran range. I didn't know anything was going on in the Congo. What's the deal there?"

Before Kara knew it she was sandwiched between the two large men with Danny ensconced in the chair to her right and Admiral Halsey lying on the floor between their feet as Carlton filled Danny in on the cruise that had finished before they went into training mode at the end of the winter.

"We were routing out some rebels from the Democratic Republic of Congo who thought that stealing blankets and other supplies from Ebola clinics in Liberia and Sierra Leone and then redistributing them to villages claimed by their enemies would be a good way to get an advantage in tribal warfare. Our orders were to take out their boats before they made it back into the Congo delta. But, we were a little late to the game and ended up chasing them up river instead."

Danny gave Kara yet another glance. She had turned her eyes down to the table in front of her and her jaw was clenched stoically. Apparently she did not feel good about that mission even though it sounded a lot more black and white, good versus evil, than most of his. Part of him wanted to find out more. If she had been hurt or if Carlton had put her in danger he'd…Well, he didn't know what he'd do but he realized he was feeling pretty upset about it. "I take it something went wrong?"

"Well" Carlton leaned back in his chair, happy to talk shop. "It's pretty hard to move unnoticed in biohazard suits, so we decided to use drones to monitor target movements for a few days. Kara is a wizard with the control systems on those, by the way. Anyhow, we picked an ambush point in a less populated area. When it came time to get in place, we tried to hike in through a jungle area undergoing slash and burn farming. The idea was that the ordinary people's movements were pretty predictable and there weren't really any towns or houses for the rebels to hide in. The setup went pretty well. We were in a sheltered spot by a stream about 20 miles ahead of them. We were expecting about 10 guys, nothing we couldn't handle. We were in place and waiting when we got info (thanks to a drone pass) that the there were more like 20 guys meeting the sailors from Sierra Leone. Guess they got spooked by the drones and wanted heavier protection. We decided to stay put until they passed and then trail them to a river crossing where we thought they might split up again. Overnight the winds picked up and one of the fields on the other side of the river got out of control. They apparently decided to move camp to get away from it because next thing we know there's guys firing on us from one side, there's a forest fire on the other, and we're between a croc filled river and a cliff with no place we can really go. Two guys were already down and we'd only managed to just barely keep them from circling around behind us."

Danny turned his green eyes to Kara. "How do you figure into this? Were you in the jungle" He was half afraid she'd say yes.

"Oh no. I stayed safely on board." She didn't sound enthusiastic to Danny's ears.

"What's the matter? Disappointed that you don't get to kill more bad guys?" He thought he'd draw her out by teasing her, but she seemed to shrink into herself a little more. He shouldn't have been, but he was somehow pleased she wasn't the blood thirsty type. Before she had a chance to answer though, Carlton did it for her.

"This is why I say don't be fooled. She does her science-y magic and tells me that at 0730 I'll get a 25 minute shift in the wind which should be just enough for us to make a break for it under a smoke cover. She says we have to go toward the fire even though it's coming toward us, but that the wind will be right just long enough for us to get past the cliff and climb the hill over the ridge to safety before it shifts again." As he says this, Danny observes that Kara is nodding. So, she wouldn't tell him, Danny mused, but she wasn't disinterested either. "So," Carlton continued "We decide to go for it. We manage to get across the river without losing anyone else, and get about half way up the ridge. As soon as the DRC guys realize we've given them the slip they come after us but we've got about a 1/2 klik on them. The ground is literally smoking man and my eyes are watering so bad that I can hardly see. I'm totally freaking out and my guys are too because we're heading straight for a wall of fire, but she's on the comm the whole time telling me where to go, what I should be seeing and we finally clear the cliff and head for the top."

"All I did was relay information you didn't have at the time Burk." Kara interrupts, rolling her eyes. By this time a few more people are seated at the table, listening, and Danny can see some of them clearly know the story already.

"Yeah, whatever chica, be modest if you want, but this is my story to tell right now." Burk continued, apparently used to Kara's discomfort. "So anyway, she starts telling me to slow down! My boots are melting and there's a pack of rabid dogs at our heels and she's saying slow down! So I'm like what the hell, you know?" Danny nodded. He knew what it's like when instinct tells you to do one thing and orders come to do something else. You sure as hell better trust the source of the orders. Again he felt a pang of jealousy at Kara and Carlton's obvious bond. "So we make the top of the ridge and it's lush and green below and she says no, don't go until you feel the wind change. Everyone is getting so pissed at me that I won't give the command but I'm all like wait, wait. So I say look, in a few minutes we're going to be taking fire again and you know what she says to me?"

"Go back down the ridge again?" Danny took a guess but he can tell by the pinched look on Kara's face that it was the wrong thing.

Carlton shook his head ruefully. "No man, she tells me to look into the forest below and describe the scenery. So I start to tell her how lush it is and she says starts asking me shit like where are the clouds and is there upward evaporation? And I'm like freaking out because I'm going to get shot talking about f-ing clouds. So I tell her yeah sure, everywhere and she says hummmmmm…not very confidence inspiring by the way Foster, just a long hummmm on the comm when your whole unit is standing exposed on a ridge and trying to decide between being burned to a crisp or hacked to death by crazy Ebola spreading rebels."

Kara ducked her head a little sheepishly at that. "You made it didn't you?" There was both annoyance and fondness in her voice at the same time. Danny wondered why it bothered her so much to be painted as a hero.

"Yeah, Yeah we did." Carlton admitted with an eye roll a teenager could be proud of. "She says to let my guys know that when the wind picks up behind us we need to shout out that we're going to run for the side where the fog is rising, but then to actually run the other way. So we're waiting and waiting and the wind goes dead still and we can hear the DRC guys getting closer and we're staring at this flat fog and wondering why the hell she said to wait. And then suddenly there is this giant gust up the back of my neck and the fog to the west is shooting up. So I'm shouting run west, run west as we take off for the east. We're a half klik into the jungle when I realize what she's done. The DRC guys, well, when the wind came back up the ridge they were running the wrong way. When we went back over the area with the drone the next day there was nothing left of them. Nothing but ash."

"How'd you know?" Danny turned his gaze on her. Most guys he knew would be puffing out their chests, proud that they'd saved so many and taken out the enemy in the process. But for a professional soldier she was surprisingly less enthused.

Kara shrugged. "Smoke and fog can tell you which way the wind is moving." She was blushing now and Danny noticed that she looked at Carlton as she responded, not at the other people at the table.

"Yeah, well that and her father was a hotshot fireman and retired marine to boot."

Danny recalled that Kara had said she grew up on a farm, but not that her father was a farmer. He had to admit, she had managed to be pretty cagey with him and he hadn't even had a single suspicion. "All I know is that she saved my ass because I was about to take my men across that river. We would have been gonners over there on top of failing our mission." Carlton frowned a little. "My only regret is that I don't think they dealt fairly with her after that."

"Why, were there procedural issues or something?" Danny couldn't see how she could have been implicated for anything when the orders were to take out the DRC guys in the first place.

"No man, no I mean they gave me a silver star and all I did was run but they didn't give her anything. Tell me why she should get excluded just because did her work from the safety of the ship?"

A silver star? Already impressed with both lieutenants Danny was sure now that there was even more to this incredible mission. He'd have to get Kara to tell him the rest later.

Several new officers entered the room. Some Kara knew but many she did not. Usually the staff stayed fairly constant from cruise to cruise so she wondered what was up. She knew how Slattery liked to run the meeting though so she sipped her coffee quietly as people filed in.

When the room was nearly full he shut the door. "Looks like everyone I am expecting."

The first part of the meeting was the usual. Slattery made introductions of the senior staff, reminded everyone of the protocols for checking in with their staffs before leaving port tomorrow, and handed out role lists. "This mission is primarily a training cruise which is why we've got so many new personnel on board. Those of you who have been on this ship a while, please help the rest get acquainted. I'll start by personally inviting you all to my weekly poker game. Everyone is invited, except Kara." she blushed even though she could tell by the twinkle in his eye he was about to tease her. "She's too smart for the rest of us, counts cards." She could feel all eyes on her and squirmed a bit at the spotlight.

"And, I'd like to go around to room and have each of you make a brief intro because we have so many new people here." She groaned inside as he began. She hated the introductions. Whatever she managed to say always sounded trite and silly to her own ears. Slattery began, explaining that he and the Captain had been working together for several years, that he had a family in Norfolk, and had been enlisted right out of high school, then was an MP, then a civilian cop, before coming back and going through OCS to get where he was now. Kara was familiar with his story, having served under him for five years, so she covertly watched Danny. Danny was angled away from her at the table in order to face the XO. After she caught him looking her way a few times he stopped trying, but she could see his jaw tighten. She hadn't been able to tell if he was angry or happy to see her. She really didn't want to think about it, but she knew exactly how that jaw would feel in her teeth and what the curve of his shoulder, so stiff and formal right now, would smell like all rumpled in his sheets tomorrow morning. After she had to adjust in her seat once or twice she decided she would be better off looking over the people assembled.

Men and women were sitting at the table and standing around the back half of the room. There were only three women among the officers assembled, herself, the Chief Engineer Lieutenant Commander Garnett, and a rotary wing aviator she didn't recognize. By the time the circle made it's way around to their side of the table she was feeling quite intimidated by the talent in the room. It was clear that the best of the best had been assembled. Many of the people had served in the Middle East or Western Pacific. She'd spent all her time in the Atlantic, and most of it off the Eastern Seaboard. She was curious where Danny fit in.

His voice was confident and strong the way she was used to. "Lieutenant Danny Green, SEAL" He didn't pause despite the hushed murmur she observed going around the room. "I've brought a team of 5 Mountain Warfare specialists, 6 if you count our dog, Admiral Halsey. We'll be participating in the onshore component of this training as well. We're not used to shipboard life, having spent most of the last 10 years in Turkey, Pakistan, and locations in between." SEAL. He was a fucking SEAL. Scuba instructor her ass! She thought about all the clues. Trip to Virginia for training. Yeah, that was probably Quantico. Moved to Norfolk for work right after college. The roommate with a Navy background. Fucking-A!

"I have asked Lieutenants Green and Benz to run daily pre-BUDS PT sessions at 0830 hours and 1630 hours. Please spread the word among the junior staff and enlisted that anyone interested is invited. Lieutenant Burk, you are probably best suited to help identify the people they should be signing up." Commander Slattery announced. So Frankie was here too? Kara hoped he had enough restraint to keep his mouth shut when he recognized her.

And then she realized the pause she was hearing was everyone waiting for her. How to introduce herself? A flashback to telling Danny she was a Meteorologist at the night club passed before her eyes. Her pulse, already a little fast after encountering Danny was pounding in her ears now. Under the table she wiped her hands on her pants and then folded them in what she hoped was a serene posture on the table. Between Carlton's tale and Slattery's poker comment she already sounded like either a ruthless mass murderer or a total nerd! Every time they did this she got nervous about what to say. Well as her dad used to say, you could never go wrong keeping it simple. "Lieutenant Kara Foster. I'll be running the CIC. I've been with the Nathan James for 5 years so if you have any questions about the ship or how we do things around here, don't hesitate to ask." She gave a quick glance around the room that she hoped conveyed her willingness to help. Her gaze finished on Danny. His eyes were narrowed like he was calculating something.

Slattery interjected before Burk's turn. "Keep in her good graces. Foster's the one who reports the weather too." A collective chuckle sounded. "Seriously, when you hear what I have to say about our mission next, you're going to hope the weather is very good."


	15. Chapter 15 - Could You Be Loved

**Could You Be Loved, Bob Marley**

After the meeting Danny went straight up to the aft deck and took a moment to try and calm himself. If he went directly to Frankie he was not sure he could keep his cool. He couldn't believe he'd let him walk right into that. He stopped at the rail and looked out at the shore passing by in the distance. If he went to Chandler now and told him exactly what happened he would be home by tonight. But there would be no negative mark against him. It happened occasionally that people needed a rapid reassignment due to personnel issues and it would be no big deal. He could really use a perfect rating on his next evaluation if he hoped to move up soon. Getting a reputation as someone big enough to follow even the hard rules wouldn't hurt.

He sighed leaning heavier so that the guard wire bit into his palms. He could see the dark water frothing far below as the ship cut slowly toward the mouth of the bay. On the other hand, if he didn't tell Chandler... He stared grimly at the water for several moments. If he didn't tell him this whole cruise was going to be torture. But if he didn't tell him at least he could have half a chance with Kara. Four to six months should give him plenty of time to show her what he had to offer.

Unless of course she'd already gone to tell Chandler herself. If she did that and he didn't, he would be the one to look bad. He resolved to find her and find out what she intended to do just as soon as he talked to Frankie. With that in mind he stalked back inside to locate his wayward friend.

Frankie was fairly predictable. He easily found him lounging in the mess, a mug of coffee, textbook, and suite of highlighters and pencils spread in front of him. The smell of the industrial dishwashers, lunch cooking, and fresh coffee hit Danny as he walked into the mess. He stopped at the end of the table Frankie occupied. "Why?" Halsey plopped his butt down and leveled an accusing stare on the younger man too.

Frankie barely glanced up from his book, but Danny knew he had heard him so he waited patiently. The was a clatter of dishes and low murmur of working voices from the open door back to the kitchen, but otherwise the mess resembled a study hall rather than a cafeteria. After a minute passed with still no answer Danny reached across the table and slammed Frankie's book shut on his fingers. "Hey! What the hell? I gotta learn this if I'm ever going to finish my damn degree!" Frankie finally looked up. Seeing Danny's cloudy expression he realized immediately what the issue was. "Oh come on. Don't be pissed at me. I kept your secrets."

"Dammit Frankie. Do you know how badly that could have gone?"

Frankie sighed and leaned back in his seat. "Nah, you forget that I know you and know a lot about her. You clammed up right quick and she didn't give anything away, did she?"

Danny slammed his palm on the table. "That's not the point!" A few people glanced their way but Frankie's relaxed pose was enough to put them at ease.

Frankie lowered his voice. "No, the point is, you've been a stupid git for two weeks and now you're gonna get a second chance. If I were you I wouldn't waste time being angry about it." Frankie tilted his chin toward the chair opposite him at the long lunchroom table. "Sit down would you?"

He slumped into the chair, exhaustion returning now that his adrenaline was slumping. "I gotta decide if I need to say anything to the commander." He put his arms on the table and lowered his head. Maybe he could just sleep here for a couple of minutes and when he opened his eyes he'd be back on a new ship, with months of work in front of him to help him get over her.

"You're thinking about this all wrong." Frankie pushed the books aside and lowered his head in a copy of Danny's pose. "What you need to decide is if you want to continue this thing with her or let it go. The rest of the decisions all hinge on that."

Damn him for being so insightful, thought Danny. "This is not the time or the place for what I want." He moaned into his elbow.

"Sure it is. You're making a decision about which future appeals more to you. Do you want to end up more like the Admiral? Then you move on. The next time you're on leave you have another great short term thing, and the next time after that, and so on. If you're lucky you'll end up with a passel of ex-wives to support and some kids who are practically strangers but just as driven as you are. If you want to have a woman who really loves you and actually know enough about your kids to brag about them to your friends, well, you're going to have to have the hard conversations and stick it out, even when she hates your guts."

"Right now I hate your guts. That was a cheap shot, bringing up my father, even for you Benz." Despite his words, there was no rancor in his tone. Danny propped his chin on his arm and looked across at his friend. "What's made you so wise all of a sudden?"

"I haven't had a chance to tell you about my weekend with Georgie yet. Guess who makes her living in the cockpit of a SH-60?"

"Seriously? Is she here?" Danny looked around for the dark haired woman but all the other occupants of the mess were male.

Frankie sighed. "No. You can't know how jealous I am of your situation, as much as it sucks right now. She has been on the Nathan James for three years and now she just got sent off for some additional training. I have the worst luck."

"Sorry?" He was beginning to feel some hope. Maybe Kara was waiting for him to come talk with her right now. He was pretty sure she had been very happy right up until the end. He and Frankie talked for a while longer about how to woo her without arising suspicions. Once he had a plan he felt re-energized.

"Come on Boy. Wanna join us for a run, oh Wise-Unlucky-One?" He asked Frankie.

"Sorry, you know I'd love to take the mutt for a stroll but I have to study." Danny shrugged. "Suit yourself." He unfolded himself from the chair. "Hey" He met Frankie's eye. "Thanks."

"Anytime Amigo."


	16. Chapter 16 - Out of Touch

EarlyMorningWriter solemnly swears to be so focused at work that she never, ever thinks about her dearest husband or anyone else. She is like a machine, able to turn off all emotions and desires at will. NOT! And she doubts Kara can do it either. Kara seems to have a history of forgetting that she's only human.

**Out of Touch, Hall and Oats**

"Sooo, is Green going to be your new onboard crush? It looks like you are the second most senior woman this cruise, but I hardly think the Chief Engineer is going to challenge you for him." Burk was teasing her. At least she hoped so. Her cheeks felt like they were flaming. She had made it all the way through the meeting without saying anything more to Danny and then stayed behind while he and Admiral Halsey exited in order to ask Commander Slattery if she had permission to look at periodic evaluations of the two new people in her staff.

"Hardly." She scoffed as they made their way down the P-way toward the officer's staterooms. "You know better than that. I'm not messing up my career with some boyscout who wants to play war games."

"I know how serious you are about your career, but don't you know who he is?" Burk asked incredulously. Burk had an impressive record and she wasn't used to hearing him so wowed with someone he hadn't served with first hand.

"Should I know who he is? It sounded like a lot of people did back there." She had to crane her neck to see Carlton's face. He looked surprised that she didn't know. How had she not known? She was still kicking herself for not putting the pieces together.

"Ever heard of Rear Admiral Daniel Green? In Vietnam? Desert Storm?" Burk looked amazed when Kara shook her head negatively.

"That man's father has more decorations than this entire crew combined." She was stunned. Most of the my-dad-was-a-war-hero types had huge egos and that was one thing Danny definitely did not suffer from, at least not the Danny she knew. Then again, maybe she didn't know him as well as she had thought. He'd sat there and pretended not to recognize the depth of Vince's previous service without a peep. Used to be his boss. Yeah, probably his C.O. at some point.

Burk continued "Danny himself has seen plenty of action in Afghanistan and Somalia and who knows where else. Mason was saying he's got a few purple hearts under his belt from places we aren't supposed to know we've been like Pakistan and Chechnya too. I don't know what the heck we're testing that they brought him on board."

"No way, you must be confusing him with someone else." Danny hadn't even had a Navy poster in his apartment, never mind any pictures of his father the admiral. Besides, purple hearts meant he had been injured. A tightness stabbed through her chest at the thought. She'd seen the scars on his body but he'd had perfectly normal explanations for those, a car accident, a fall climbing on college spring break, a run in with some coral. Hum, car accident my ass she thought. How could she have been so blind?

"I'm not kidding. That guy has done his share in the war on terror. Maybe I could learn a thing or two." Carlton looked so earnest.

"Ha, Ha," Kara slapped his arm "Mr. Silver Star yourself, Carlton. I'm apparently the laggard among the senior staff. I've hardly seen any real action." As they reached a split in the passage she headed to the left while Burk headed back to the right toward the officers quarters. "I'll catch you later. I've got to go through my new staff and see what specialties they're bringing. If we're really going 6 days to our rendezvous off the bat, I have a feeling we're headed back to Africa and the C.I.C. is going to be in the wringer again this mission."

He stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm and a shake of his head. "You hold yourself to too high of a standard Kara, always have."

She had to smile then. "You're just trying to get me to back off so you can get a command before me!" They had been teasing each other this way since they were pleebs and truth be told, it had always reassured Kara to know that other high achievers were just as insecure about their position as she was.

"I'm serious and you know it." His brow was creased with concern now. "You and I both know you don't want to go back to the Congo Delta anymore than I do, but if I have to go back there, well, I want to know you're the one in here backing up the littorals with the big guns. Your quote no-real-action as you call it saved a lot more people than just my sorry ass back there." Carlton gave her arm a squeeze and headed off to his watch.

Still, her head and heart were in full conflict as she headed off to the C.I.C. where she spent the first twenty minutes assigning stations to ensigns and resolving not to worry over Lt. Danny Green. Why didn't he tell her? And after the first night, why not fess up then? She was insulted that he might think she could have chosen a man based on his job title and not who he was as a human. Then again, she supposed she had assumed he would be turned off by her lifestyle too. But, he never even said he was going out of town, even when she was in a panic over packing quickly!

She supposed, like her, he had been looking for a one night thing, not anything lasting. But still, should she just pretend it never happened? They never even said for sure if they would meet up again and they certainly hadn't expected each other to be exclusive. Her chest felt tight as she considered the possibility that he already had a girlfriend. What if he had a wife? He could have a whole family of little freckled children living back in some perfect Connecticut cottage that would never know he'd had a glorious two week affair with an unremarkable woman from Kansas. She had certainly known of enough guys with girls in different ports to wonder if that was what had happened.

This morning she had come aboard hoping that the ship would be a safe haven from her memories allowing her to move on in peace. But now, even that sanctuary was lost. She did her best to stop dwelling on him by getting to work. As she slipped her CAC into the card reader she resolved to think about work only until she removed it at the end of her shift. She pulled up Navy Knowledge Online and logged in, quickly finding the records of the two new people she needed to work into the C.I.C. shift rotations. Ensign King and LtJG Jones looked quite accomplished. Both were ROTC grads. King had a degree in computer science and Jones had majored in psychology. Both were former athletes and graduated tops of their midshipmen classes. King had been reassigned from the USS Nimitz where she had served 2 years. She was probably close to the lowest ranked officer on board but based on her track record Kara had no doubt she'd do well. She decided to assign her to the midday watch so she could be on at the same time as Barker. She'd learn a lot that way. Jones had been reassigned from the USS Reagan where he had been in the C.I.C. for four years. Looking at his training and timeline she realized that he was basically following the same path she had, but was about two years behind. His recommendations were glowing so she decided to assign him the early night watch opposite hers when he'd have more chance at developing some autonomy in his position. She wondered if he had overlapped with Lieutenant Commander Barker, the ship's tactical actions officer, during his time on the Reagan.

Her curiosity piqued, she backed out of Jones's file to the directory listing all the officers. The folder contained at least 2 files on each officer, one public, and one private. She knew that while the public ones read like a resume of each officer's service record, the private ones contained details about assignments and missions, recommendations, infractions, reasons for moves, and sometimes personal information about family, injuries, and more. She scanned the directory for Barker's public file. There were several new names on the list and since they were in some crazy order based on rank and time in service it took her a moment to scroll up to the O-4's.

King..Miller..Mason..Jones..Nishioka..Smith..Chung..Cruz..Benz..Granderson..Mejia..Burk..Foster..Green..Barker..Garnett..Slattery..Chandler. Her eye caught on Danny's name, sitting so innocently next to her own. The public folder was fair game. Anyone off the street could request that info. Technically she only had permission today to read King and Jones's private files but she knew she probably could open most of them anyway. She scrolled on to Barker's and quickly opened it. Nope, he and Jones had just missed each other. She remembered when Barker came over to the Nathan James. At the time he hadn't been happy about the move. He'd had the resume to stay on a larger carrier but there hadn't been a position available at the Lieutenant Commander level. He'd likely stay in that position on the Nathan James most of the rest of his career, thus Kara knew she would probably have to move to progress in rank in a few years as well. The thought saddened her a little. This was her place and she felt at home here.

She closed out of the system and returned to working on schedules. Now that they were underway she glanced up occasionally to watch the ship's progress as the tugs slowly drew them away from the dock. Two tugs were slowly maneuvering them out into the main channel of the James River. As they turned against the current the ship rocked at odd angles. She knew the drill, another four hours and they would be in the Atlantic proper headed East. If she wanted to bring up the issue with Danny to Chandler, she had less than four hours before it started to get complicated.

And then, as she was staring out the port window over the workstation, she saw him. He was taking PT with Admiral Halsey. Every 3 minutes they passed by, the dog easily loping around the deck at his side for what must have been miles. They had gone jogging together in the early summer heat almost every day for the last two weeks. She recalled the ease she'd felt as they worked together, the only sound the shooshing of their breaths and the crunch of gravel under their feet. She remembered when he'd duck off a trail, pull her close, all warm and damp and smelling of cotton tee shirt, to kiss her already breathless lips until she clung to him. Then he'd smack her ass and start off again and she'd have to sprint a few steps just to catch up. She looked out the window and her feet itched to go out and catch him now. She sighed. What was a woman supposed to do about a man that could melt her insides when he didn't even know he was doing it?

She shook her head and tried to return to her work. Four hours ticked away to three and Danny and Halsey disappeared again. With two hours left she looked up and saw they were getting aligned for the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel, Lucky #13. Once you crossed that, you were unofficially in the Atlantic. Another day and you'd be in international waters. Off to the south, the shores of Lynnhaven beach taunted her. They passed the rocky jetties that marked the inlet to Little Creek. God Damn Little Creek. If she stayed on the East Coast she'd stay based out of Norfolk and he'd be right there, impossibly close, just her luck.

Finally, with an hour left she couldn't take it anymore. She glanced around and saw that everyone was busy getting organized for the nearly week long trip to the rendezvous coordinates. Quickly, she gave into her urge and opened the public folder. Daniel Joshua Green, 33, 5'11", green eyes. Yep, she knew that part. She scrolled down wondering what was true, what wasn't. Engineering at Duke was true but he'd left out the four year ROTC scholarship. Drill team commander his senior year, of course. 3.8 GPA and highest honors on his senior project titled "Materials Options for Water Resistant Detonation Devices". A few years were spent back and forth between Coronado, Panama City, Kodiak, and La Posta. It was true that Vince had been his boss, as his commanding officer, just as she had guessed. She skimmed down further to the service locations. All the places Burk mentioned were there and many many more. He didn't stay in one place for long, that was for sure. As she continued to read, her limbs felt tense and heavy with dread. The last few years were filled with redacted assignments but the theme was the same, dangerous settings, operations she hadn't even heard of, and mostly anti terrorism oriented. All the commendations were there too, but it didn't make up for the risks he was obviously accustomed to taking. She'd seen how that ended up before.

Disgusted with herself she closed out of NKO. She shouldn't have looked, she told herself. She should just leave well enough alone and pretend they had no connection. What the heck was his team doing here anyways? They certainly weren't going anywhere he'd been working lately. This was a forward deployed destroyer, not a delivery vehicle. Hell no she wasn't going to tell Chandler and get herself moved! This was her place and he could learn to share or move himself. She busied herself typing up schedules but her mind kept wandering. The thought kept coming back to her that for the next four to six months he was never going to be more than 500 feet away from her.

Half an hour later she gave into temptation again and opened the private file. She didn't want to read the I&I list because she knew the kinds of things that got on there, but she had read her brother's and she figured it couldn't be any worse. As she read the list like a map of his body she shrank into her chair, hugging her arms around her. It was worse than Eric's because this time, she knew what the last entry, the one that wasn't there yet but would be someday, would say. There was the broken arm during hand to hand training. Vince had written up the guy who did that for assault. Apparently it had been common knowledge that his father was an admiral and some kid had gotten it in his head that Danny was getting special treatment. Then there was the lacerated brow during hell week. Outright lie number one was a burn from an IED incident in Pakistan. That would be his left hip where he said he lost playing fire jumper at boyscout camp. There was a torn lat from a rapid water extraction. She recognized the lacerations he got from being hit by a car when it was deliberately crashed into a security checkpoint in Somalia. Except she knew them as the parallel ridges over his right shoulder supposedly from a car accident in Cleveland. He'd been bitten by another handler's dog in parachute training. The scars on his arm were apparently from a climbing fall in Burundi, not the Adirondacks, and they'd been accompanied by broken ribs, two fake teeth, and a concussion. That one had a photo taken during transport. She steeled herself to open the photo file, gripping the mouse so tight her knuckles turned white, and then cringing at the sight of the broken teeth and deep purple bruising on his face and shoulder. Seeing that the jagged scar on the back of his right shoulder really was from teaching Halsey to swim was little consolation after the rest of the list.

The more she read, the angrier she got, This was why she avoided these guys in the first place. The likelihood of him making it to retirement without getting killed or maimed along the way seemed minuscule to her. She had no doubt he was very good at what he did, but still, her brother had been too and that didn't save him. It was practically a miracle he'd only been shot once…and now she felt like an idiot to have believed him when he said it had been a hunting accident. Well, it had apparently been a miracle he survived the incident in Kandahar Province, but not for the Australian Shepherd named Tarne that had been KIA by taking three bullets meant for him. In fact, Halsey was his third working dog. Before Tarne there had been a Jack Russel named Commander Lackland who had been retired.

The noise level in the P-way was beginning to pick up and she glanced at her watch. It was almost time to hand over. She closed out of the system for the final time and prepared her report to Barker. She knew he wouldn't argue with her on schedules. Tomorrow he'd want to start planning trainings, so she made a note to mention that she was already thinking about it. This was her second cruise in the rank of lieutenant and this time she wouldn't get any leeway for being new to the role. She had at least 14 more years ahead of her and she fully intended to retire as an O-6 if not higher. She couldn't afford to screw this cruise up by getting emotionally involved with someone who was just going to drive her crazy by constantly putting himself in danger.

There really should be no need to interact unless he needed C.I.C. support for something, and in that case, she could be professional. The alternatives were equally terrifying. At worst, they'd be discovered, she'd be demoted, and end up stuck on some backwater frigate until she punched out as an O-4 at the end of her 20 years. In the best case, she'd probably end up alone with an unusually well trained dog as her consolation prize. She made her report and quickly made her way to the mess, resolving to avoid Danny for as much as possible. Today would be the exception, not the rule she decided. After all, this ship was her home and she knew it like the back of her hand. With only 500 feet to work with, how hard could it be to know where not to be at all times?


	17. Chapter 17 - Where Did Our Love Go?

Yeah, so there's a ton of teenagery angst here. If this was me, I would have just tattled on myself to the captain and been done with it. But then again, I've never had much regard for my own career. Somehow I think both Kara and Danny are a little more willing to sacrifice for their ambition.

**Where Did Our Love Go, Soft Cell**

After her shift Kara headed to the officers' mess. The passages of the ship were red and hushed for the midnight shift change but the mess was a hive of activity. It was fun reconnecting with colleagues and finding out what everyone thought about the brevity of the break. Less than one month in Norfolk for resupply/repair was unheard of. There were rumors that while they were off ship things went as normal for a week and then an entirely different crew had come on and restocked everything and made all the minor repairs that couldn't be done at sea which was how they were able to leave port so rapidly. The speculation about what they were testing ran the gamut from new weapons to communication to chain of command. It was exciting, if not a little scary, to have such a change in routine.

"I hear there are snowmobiles in the helo bay. Maybe we're hunting for one of those supposed ice passages that are opening up in the arctic with global warming?"

"Maybe we're going to the arctic to spy on the Russians?"

"Are you sure they were snowmobiles and not ATV's? I think we're headed back to Africa."

"You know we're hosting a couple of scientists. My money is on something to do with Ebola back in the Congo."

On and on it went. Even though it was the 0000 meal everyone seemed wired and excited. Each person had their own theory. One thing was for sure though, they weren't finding out any details until the Captain did, and he wasn't expecting to know until they reached a rendezvous point off the coast of Northwest Africa. She only knew that much because he had Gator charting the course today. For her money, she was guessing it was half a weapon's test and half a little sword rattling for the Russians. When they had made port in Norfolk three weeks ago their weapon and artillery inventory had been about 2/3 full, which was pretty standard. But now, they were carrying the full compliment of missiles and smaller arms. It took extra fuel to haul those missiles around so she didn't think they were doing it just for the hell of it. She tried to think of any news she had picked up while in Norfolk that might indicate what they were doing, but she had been in such a blissful bubble with Danny that she couldn't recall any news at all.

After her meal she extracted herself from all the conversation and headed for her stateroom. Kara had her head down and was deep in thought considering what, if anything, she needed to say to Danny. She had no desire to hurt him, just to put a firm end to any hopes he might be harboring that they could continue. She might be mad that he lied to her, but he would likely be mad at her for the same reason. After spending 7 hours at her desk trying to focus on work and utterly failing, she could admit to herself that she had been hoping to see him again when she returned to Norfolk. She certainly had felt bad about the way she'd turned tail and run after the sailing trip. Not really saying goodbye had kind of been a cop out after all.

Her steps increased in pace. She wanted to get to her room and be alone to think. She doubted she would sleep much from the anxiety. She had enjoyed everything about him too much to just put it behind her. They were so compatible that in the last two weeks they had spent almost every evening and night together. Last night she had tossed and turned in her bed like a ship adrift in a gale without an anchor. She hoped it would be better now that she was back in her familiar narrow rack.

She was speed walking the corridors now, as if she could run away from her thoughts. It was a shame that her memories would be ruined now. It was hard to believe that only 48 hours ago they had been peacefully curled together in the bow of the Double Palm. She hadn't quite realized that even as she'd prepared to leave, she'd already been planning for their reunion in a few months. She felt tears begin to prick her lids and ducked her head hoping no one would see. She hadn't realized until today how much she had built up a fantasy about how fun it would be to make up for several months at sea with several days in his bed. Bet not to think about it, she admonished herself. And immediately thoughts of what that could have been like flooded her, making her blush and tingle in a way that was most unwelcome at the moment. She turned the last corner toward her room while lost in thought and ran right into a warm body. A large, muscular, and very familiar warm body.

"Omph" She felt the air go out of him in a rush, ruffling her hair.

"Kara?" Oh, that voice rumbling through his chest, so rich and warm, was her undoing and she felt the tears threatening to spill over the brims of her lids. She couldn't look at him, didn't want him to see that she was upset, so she forced her most professional voice and hoped he wouldn't see the tears.

Sorry um..." Shit, she wasn't ready to do this yet. She needed to get to her room and work out the conversation before they had it. Otherwise, she wasn't sure what she would say. "Sorry Lieutenant Green, I was hurrying. My fault." She kept her head down, trying to sidestep him and continue on her way.

"Really Kara? It's a little late to get all formal with me now." It was the note of pleading his voice that got to her more than his actual words and she finally looked at his face. His lips were firm and the little crinkles at the corners of his eyes were tight.

"I, um, we're supposed to be quiet in the berth areas at all times." She knew she was panicking but she didn't know what to say yet. If she didn't get herself away from him soon she knew she'd give into the urge to press her body into his and just feel the breath going in and out of him. "I can't talk with you out here." She knew she was chickening out, but maybe after she'd had some time to decide what..

"Okaaaay then." He grasped her firmly by the elbow and pulled her down the corridor past her own room, to the end room. Looking over his shoulder first, he pushed her into a small room where Halsey was resting on the upper bunk and an empty dog crate was wedged behind the door. Halsey raised his head and whined in greeting. There was barely any standing room between the crate and the beds as he shut the door.

Surmising that this was Danny's room she spun about to leave. "I can't be in here!"

"Wait!" He kept his voice low but the command in it was clear. In a softer tone he continued "It's just me and Halsey in here. No one will know."

"Still, I can't. This might be a game to you but to me it's my career." She dared look at his face. He looked so wonderful and so different all at the same time. For one thing, it was the first time she had seen him clean shaven. The constellations of freckles across his cheeks stood out more clearly than ever. He had gotten a haircut so the curls she loved to card her hands through were tame and orderly. His lips were drawn in an exasperated flat line and his green gaze was intense. She wanted to jump into his arms but she wanted to rail at him at the same time. "You lied to me about your entire life. Do you remember that? Telling me you were a scuba instructor, telling me you traveled for your work, telling me your dad was in the Navy. I am left wondering if any of it was even true!" She kept her voice low, knowing the way sound carried on a metal hull, but she wanted to shout at him and stomp her feet like a toddler.

His voice rose slightly and his hands were fisted by his sides a he towered over her. "You did the same thing Miss-Weather-Girl. I can't believe how much I let you get away with." He looked down at his feet. "It's not that guy Burk is it? I should have known you didn't want to introduce me to your mother for a reason."

"Oh for crying out loud!" she couldn't help but roll her eyes. What was it about guys that got them all riled up about a girl being friends with another guy. "Carlton is just a friend. Correction, one of my best friends. No, it's about protocol and right and wrong and.."

"Rules. Like people don't bend the rules all the time." He countered, leaning back against the door with one brow raised in question.

"Yes, No, Well I don't have an Admiral in my family to smooth things over if I screw up!" She threw up her hands. "It was supposed to be a short term thing. You agreed to that. So it's already over and there is nothing to discuss." She faced the wall of cubbies, resting against it like she couldn't even bear to look at him. "You couldn't have told me? Even when I was telling you about my Dad and Eric? Really?" She punctuated her words with an angry snort that was half sniffle, half growl. "I knew there was something fishy about you. I just knew it but I couldn't put my finger on it. What kind of scuba instructor has 2 weeks to sit on his ass in the middle of peak season? I should have gone with my gut and said no the minute I saw Frankie in that cafe." She turned and looked him straight in the eye. "I should have known I couldn't trust you."

Danny cringed when she said that. "You can't mean that. I am everything I said I was, with just a slightly different job title." The more he thought about it, the angrier he felt. Not trustworthy? She hadn't just lied about her job, she'd pretended to be moving half way across the country rather than tell him she was in the Navy. And for no good reason as far as he could tell. "I was only trying to screen out the frog hogs and uniform chasers. I didn't expect it to matter. What the heck is your excuse?"

She folded her arms around herself and he could see the nails of one hand claw into her sleeve. "Some men take any kind of authority as a challenge. Like they have to show you they can be boss."

Well, if anything could take the wind out of his sails, that was it. He felt sick. He knew exactly the type and there were plenty of them in and out of uniform. At the same time, he was mortified. How could she have even for a second thought he was the kind of man who could harm a woman just for the power trip?

"If anyone ever.."

"It's never happened to me because my friends and I don't let ourselves get in that situation."

Thank goodness. He was tired and cranky and pissed. He'd spent the last two nights barely sleeping, thinking she'd call or just show up and tell him she couldn't do it. But she could. Damn that woman was a hell of a lot stronger than he was.

"Do you want me to go to Chandler and request reassignment?" His voice was flat and he hung his chin to his chest, not meeting her eyes. It certainly wasn't what he wanted but he'd do it, if that was what she needed.

"No." It was practically a whisper. She really didn't want him to do that. It was maybe the right thing to do but she really didn't want him to go. "No, just let's agree to stay away from each other, do as much as we can to act like it never happened. We both have too much at stake to let this threaten our careers." She moved toward the door but he was still blocking it. The room was little more than a closet and she suddenly felt trapped between him and the huge lump in her throat. It wasn't that she felt threatened by Danny. She might not know everything about his life, but she was sure that he couldn't bring himself to hurt her. But her heart might not be able to take anymore. Already tears were pricking her eyelids. She stabbed him with one pointed finger at her own eye level, which happened to be one of the gorgeously toned planes of his chest. "Move so I can go please." She wanted to smooth her and over the place she had just bruised but she pulled her hand back and gripped her belt instead.

He didn't budge. He just folded his arms across himself and stared her down. "You think we can pretend like it never happened? I don't think I can do that. Not when I can practically taste..

"I don't think you want to go there Danial Joshua Green!" She leveled a stare right back at him. "I am done with this conversation. Now move it or I will not hesitate to use force." Who did he think he was that he could march her in here and make her talk with him before she even knew what she wanted to say? She had had enough.

He raised a cocky eyebrow back at her. When he gave her that challenging grin, she couldn't help but feel an answering excitement within herself. She did her best to tamp it down, hating that she knew he the power he had over her. "Be reasonable Kara." Even exasperated with him, the way he said her name made her feel softer inside. "You're barely 125 pounds soaking wet and the gentlest person I know. I am a Navy SEAL with plenty of hand to hand experience. I don't care how you fared in your training. Who do you think will win?" He was practically looming over her in the tiny room.

She still wanted to wrap her arms around him and pull him into her body. She still wanted to feel him inside and out. But she sure as hell wasn't going to do that now. Right now she was too angry. Straightening her spine she told herself to harden up. She didn't care how big and mighty he thought he was, she wasn't going to be strong armed. He could turn on all the charm in the world, but she wasn't going to bend. Every man had a weakness and right now his was that he didn't believe she meant what she said.

Using a feint her dad had taught her when she was 8, she looked over her shoulder toward the dog to draw his attention while simultaneously stepping closer. As his line of sight transferred to the dog she kneed him in the groin, and used his own weight falling forward to push him past her toward the bunk. She wrenched the door open to leave. "Damn it Kara!" He groaned from where he was crumpled against the lower rack holding his groin. "You are going to regret that one day."

With a steely calm that channeled her best inner McGonagill she informed him "Well, you should be regretting it now." She did feel a small prickle of regret. It wasn't the nicest thing to do to man after all. Her heart was pounding in her ears and her hand on the doorknob was shaking. "I will talk to you when I am good and ready and until then you can just leave me alone!" She felt mean and petty to run away from talking with him but she knew she wouldn't be able to keep it together much longer. She closed the door without even looking at his face, stormed to her own room, and promptly burst into tears. Why did he have to be here, of all places? The one group of people she was forbidden to have a relationship with? The one place she had to focus on her work and nothing else? The one place where a wrong step could mean the difference between life and death? How long would she have to endure seeing him without having him again? Would it just be a few days until he hopped off at whatever place his team was going next? Would it be months or God forbid, years? It would have been so much less painful to just make a clean break and have all the memories for her fantasy bank forever.

She changed for bed, crying again when she realized that she had packed his flannel as her nightshirt. One thing was certain in her mind. She could not afford the distraction, not now when she was just reaching her career goals. She would just have to tell him to leave her alone so she could do her work. She shoved the shirt in a locker and put on her PT sweats instead. She could do this, she told herself. Guys hooked up and then treated women like they never met them before all the time. She would do this. It was what was best on the long run.


	18. Chapter 18 - Always Something There

Frankie and Burk instigate an advice session for Danny. I discovered some ants in my kitchen tonight so I almost wasn't able to get this posted. I grew up in an old house and it had ants. I hate ants more than any other kind of insect-y thing. I sprayed them with some Shout (has borax in it) and they shriveled up and died instantly. I'm pretty sure Danny is feeling like one of those ants right now.

**Always Something There to Remind Me, Naked Eyes**

One week out of Norfolk they made the rendezvous point. Kara had been in the C.I.C. when the Captain left the bridge to take a transmission in private. When he returned nearly an hour later, his face was steely, betraying no emotion. Immediately the tension in the room increased.

"May I have the Comm please." His request was smooth and calm. But coming from a man who usually barked orders in quick succession it grabbed everyone's attention.

"Nathan James, this is your commanding officer, now hear this." A nervous glance went around the room. Chandler wasn't usually overly formal in his addresses. A lot could have happened in the 8 days it had taken to clear the US Coastline and cross to the Azores off NorthWest Africa. They could be headed into the Mediterranean, around to the Middle East, or back to Africa. With the SEAL team on board speculation had run rampant that they were going to support operations further inland in the Congo Delta. Now, they might finally find out.

"We have received our orders. As we anticipated, we will be participating in a weapons and communications testing assignment. Those of you with us for our last cruise know that we completed a 12 week testing battery in the mid-Atlantic. That was the baseline data. This time we will be primarily located off the coast of Greenland to repeat the testing in a cold water scenario."

The entire C.I.C. staff groaned. It had been a fairly rigorous testing of weapons systems, computer software, and targeting skills that they didn't want to repeat. Kara knew she should feel grumpy about the testing but she just felt relieved that they weren't going to the Congo again. Carlton had been shot two times on that mission and she sure as hell didn't want Danny in that kind of danger.

The CO continued. "There will be two differences this time. One, we will do our testing in complete communications silence. There will be ongoing testing of a new satellite based surface detection system at the same time. I know from past trips up here that we will not be able to receive cell signals once we turn west off the coast Ireland. With our sat phones and other systems silenced we will be cut off. That means you have about 3 days to make your calls home, download your entertainment, and whatever." He paused and a murmur went up among the listeners. They were used to being cut off for a few days at a time during ocean crossings, but 12 weeks was unusual. "Secondly," His voice was firm over the Comm as if he was talking over the whispers on the bridge. "Secondly, the scientists that we have on board will be working with a SEAL team we've picked up to collect some data at several locations during our trip. This will allow the C.I.C. staff some breaks between testing periods." A muted cheer briefly sounded in the command center. "We will all be using this time to brush up on our skills. When we get back, the data from these tests as well as all officer's and watch logs will be scrutinized. I want the Nathan James teams to excel in every way possible. Make your preparations because we are going to show the folks back home why we are the Spear of the Navy!" Despite the encouraging sound of his voice and the spirited whoops and cheers going up around her, Kara didn't join in. She was anticipating a lot of work ahead.

Three weeks into the cruise the routines had settled very nicely.

Despite being in the Navy for almost 12 years, Danny had spent very little time on ships since his first cruise. Usually they were just a stopping point while getting positioned for various assignments. He generally spent most of his shipboard time either doing paperwork, fixing and prepping gear, or briefing his guys on what was to come. He didn't often have much downtime so he didn't really get to know the other men and women who really made their living on a ship.

Since he was going to be here, working with this crew for at least 4 months, he decided to join in more of the ship's social life. Besides, he never knew when he might bump into Kara. So he had become a regular at the XO's weekly poker game. Between the poker game, game night in the mess, and the PT/training sessions he was leading he had met quite a few of the 212 people on board.

The game changed every week because the point was not really to play poker but to socialize. There was ample mixing between enlisted and officers and the atmosphere was casual. Even thought the Nathan James was a dry ship, there was always a festive atmosphere when people got together and it was nice to relax and chat with people. Plus, this was one event Kara was always at.

When he first spotted her she was leaning into Burk and laughing as she placed a bowl of popcorn on the table. At first glance Danny felt his gut tighten. He knew he should trust that they were just friends like she had said, but he couldn't help but wish she had chosen to play at the same table as him. It was the end of June and she was still freezing him out. He didn't understand why either. Couldn't they at least talk a little? In his mind they were even. He had lied to her, but she had lied to him about practically the same thing. Wasn't she being just a little hypocritical to hold it against him? She caught his glance and he looked away quickly. God Damn she had him acting like a 14 year old with his first crush. This was ridiculous.

Twenty minutes later Danny, Frankie, Slattery, and a giant guy named Bernie had a heated game going but he was still thinking about Kara. Earlier in the day he had passed her taking in the weather conditions on deck and the wind had been blowing her hair just right that he had caught its scent. Caught it right in his gut.

"Earth to Green. Come in Lieutenant." Slattery was trying to get his attention.

"Dude, you're not still pining are you?" Frankie rolled his eyes.

"Pining after what?" Bacon leaned in hoping there was a juicy story here.

"Your biscuits." It was the best retort he could think of. Damn it Frankie. He shot him an annoyed look. Not here, not now. Frankie was the only other person on the ship who knew about Kara. At first he had been worried that Kara's friend Alisha recognized him from the bar, but so far she hadn't said a word and he'd come to the conclusion that she didn't look that closely at guys. He did not want to get into it here. "I call" He placed his cards down and promptly lost a pile of chips to Commander Slattery.

As the Commander raked in the chips (Thank God they were playing for chips only because his mind was not on the game tonight) he gave Danny an assessing look.

"Nice try." Frankie was not getting the hint. "It's his girl. He's mooning over his girl."

A collective Ahhh sounded from Bacon and Slattery as Danny rolled his eyes.

"I'm not mooning. We just didn't leave things well and I'm trying to figure out what I can do about it." He confessed, feeling every bit the teenager with a crush now as he tried to keep his eyes away from Kara just one table over.

Frankie laughed. Bacon turned his always serious eyes on him and asked "Was she mad that you had to be on the ship for such a long trip? We've all run into that before." They all nodded their heads in agreement. It took a special kind of partner to put up with their schedules.

"You could say that." He gave in and glanced in Kara's direction and saw her slim neck bent toward her cards. That was all it took and a vision of her delicate skin, under his finger tips, as he tipped her head up for a kiss flashed before him. Frankie saw where his eyes were going.

"When we get back, there will be more ladies. She hasn't ruined you yet."

Slattery, Bacon, and Danny looked at Frankie incredulously. "Listen Benz" Slattery was using his father-knows-best tone. "Sometimes there is no substitute. I've been married almost 25 years and if she's the one then you just have to swallow your pride for the sake of the relationship." He turned toward Danny. "She'll cool off while you're away. She'll get caught up in her work and forget she was mad and just start missing you. Bring a present when we get back. That will smooth things over." Bacon was nodding in agreement.

"My ex-wife would get so mad each time I headed out to sea. But the first time I called her after I'd left she'd be all "Oh baby I miss you so much" and the rest of the trip she'd tell me she wished I was home, making dinner, and how much she couldn't wait to see me again. You gotta give it time… And buy her something nice."

"Does she work?" Slattery asked "You don't have kids, do you?"

Danny's eyes shot to Kara again but she was still absorbed in her game. "No, no. It was sort of a new thing actually." She was looking away as if she wasn't even aware he was there. He would give anything for a little sign that she was as tuned into his presence as he was to hers. He couldn't go anywhere on the ship without wondering where she was, what she was doing, who she was with. He forced his gaze back to the XO. "We'd just met so she'll probably move on while I'm gone. We didn't make any promises, but I'm regretting that now."

"She's a meteorologist. He's all twisted up over a nerdy little meteorologist." Frankie was enjoying this too much. Danny was going to make him pay with PT tomorrow.

"Oh, In Norfolk? Have I seen her on TV? What's she look like?" Slattery asked.

Danny was about to say beautiful and perfect when Frankie answered for him. "Oh she's a sexy little bit of a thing. Long brown hair, big hazel eyes." He was making hand gestures now "…tiny but curvy in all the right places, awesome tits."

"Frankie!" There was no questioning the censure in Danny's voice now. "Not on TV, Sir. She's the scientist type. Smart as a whip. And extremely stubborn Sir."

"Ah, a real ball breaker like our Lieutenant Foster then."

Frankie burst out laughing and Danny did manage to kick him under the table. Undeterred Frankie said "Exactly like her sir. When he tried to apologize for not telling her about the trip in advance, she got the jump on him and literally crushed his balls." He was regretting telling Frankie anything now.

Amid the laughter, the game at the neighboring table finished and Burk, Kara, and two men from engineering rose and began gathering chips. "Who is joining us over here?" Slattery asked over his shoulder.

"Me and Chung, sir" Burk began shifting chairs to the XO's table.

"Well it's me and Green left here. Let's sort it out and deal." Seats were rearranged as Frankie and Bacon scooted back and the remaining spectators dragged chairs over from surrounding tables. Thank God we're done with that conversation, thought Danny. Burk sat to his right and pulled up a chair between them for Kara. While Chung took the seat opposite between Slattery and Burk. A few others lounged at the neighboring tables chatting and finishing the snacks.

As Kara maneuvered into her chair, her shoulder brushed Danny's setting his nerves on high alert. Halsey, who had been sitting under the table hoping for some accidental treats, immediately got to his haunches and laid his head in her lap. She began scratching his ears under the table. With an exaggerated sigh she looked under the table and said "I'm going to run out of lint rollers before this mission is over, but I can't deny you boy." It was the closest she'd come to speaking to him in almost four weeks. As silly as it was, he was feeling jealous of his dog.

Slattery made quick introductions and then the cards were being dealt once again.

"So, for those of you joining us, we're currently dispensing relationship advice to Danny here." Yes, Danny thought, he was going to kill Frankie. In the most painful and humiliating way he could think of, if he himself didn't die of mortification right then and there. "Chung, Burk, any suggestions for patching things over with a woman who hates your guts?" Danny was pretty sure he was red all over. For goodness sakes, he was a grown man and this was worse than a boy scout campfire. Next to him, he felt Kara stiffen and stop petting the dog. Well, wouldn't you know, a reaction after all.

Chung, as young as he looked, wasn't afraid to jump in. "I don't know, does she like lingerie?"

Frankie grinned. "Oh yeah, Georgie took me to this little shop on West Pemberton. They had some great stuff. And I kid you not, there was a private changing room with a couch I could sit on while she tried on some shit and I got to see it before I bought it. Awesome man. They had those three way mirrors where you could see the front and the back at the same time. You should totally take her there. Hottest shopping ever." Chung and Burk nodded enthusiastically.

Danny attempted to change the subject. The last thing he wanted to discuss in front of the XO was buying lingerie. "So, Georgie..she used to be a pilot on the Nathan James, right?" Despite his effort, the conversation swirled on as if he had never even spoken.

Bacon scoffed "Guys, you can't just buy a woman you really like lingerie! Soon as you do that she'll either think it's all about the sex or that you're stepping out on her."

Burk jumped in "No way. A girl likes to know you picked something out. Tells her you think she looks good." Great, now he had a guy fresh out of school, a total horndog, a divorced guy, and a guy who spent 11 months of the year at sea giving him relationship advice.

Danny stared at his cards hoping to God they would stop soon. "I think this goes way beyond just a gift, but thanks for the suggestions." He tried to put some closure on the discussion.

Several people around the table were shaking their heads. "Come on, Kara, you're a woman." Burk turned to her. "When we get back, don't you think he could take her out, buy her some dinner, give her a little something lacy for a present, and smooth things over."

How had she possibly lost a poker game? Danny watched in amazement as she turned to Burk without so much as glance his way and dead panned "This is why you haven't had a second date in three years." Laughter followed but Carlton wasn't deterred.

"OK Miss I-had-a-mind-blowing-shore-leave-hookup-and-now-have-been-sulking-for-four-weeks-because-I-ended-it-for-no-good-reason. What's your fantastic advice?" Her face didn't change but if anyone had been looking at Danny's they would have seen his jaw drop.

"You're an idiot Carlton." She turned to Danny. Her eyes were flashing but otherwise she looked totally unaffected. Meanwhile his pulse was racing and he was breaking out in a cold sweat. "Sorry Lieutenant, as you've just heard, I am no relationship expert. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be?" She rose, pushing back her chair rapidly, and Halsey whined at the loss of his headrest. "It was a great game gentleman, Sir, but I find I am out of steam. I'll be in my bunk."

Wasn't meant to be, his ass. Danny bet that under that cool exterior her heart was galloping as much as his was.

Watching her swish out of the room, Gator, who everyone knew was half infatuated with Kara, nudged Carlton. "The ice queen hooked up with someone? Holy Shit!"

"Yeah, and her panties have been in a bunch ever since." Carlton began tossing cards to the players around the table again but he paused when he reached Danny, a speculative look on his face.

Slattery cut in "Not you and her? Please tell me not that." He gave Burk a disapproving frown. "'Cause you're good, but if I had to choose between the two of you, you're out of here."

Frankie coughed, Danny casually looked away, sure that his flaming cheeks would give him away.

"No sir, of course not. Kara and I have always been just friends." Even though Danny had convinced himself that was the case, he still felt relieved to hear it without hesitation from Burk.

Gator looked at Burk expectantly. "Did you meet the guy? Is he more successful than me? Does he outrank me?"

Chung jumped in. "Oh for crying out loud Gator, you and her are never going to happen."

"You don't know that." Gator defended himself.

Chung countered "Gator, you know nothing. For one thing, a woman like that is no ice queen." For a young kid, Danny thought, Chung was right on. She was all fire in the right circumstances.

Burk cut in. "No, I didn't meet him. The little I know about him I've heard second hand through Alisha because besides biting everyone's heads off for a month, Foster isn't talking. He's some scuba instructor she met out dancing in Norfolk. Guess she pretty much disappeared with him for two weeks and then when she came aboard she told Alisha it was just a fling and it was over. But Alisha says she's not acting like it's over. You saw her, Gator, chewing Johnson out the other day for showing up three minutes late. She's like a wounded bear these days, and you seriously don't have a chance."

Slattery tossed a card on the table. "Yeah, I had to give Johnson the whole don't-take-it-personally-just-do-a-better-job talk after that."

Burk stared down Gator. "Georgie and Frankie not withstanding, You know her girls have a policy that they won't date military guys and she's the biggest rule follower that ever lived. Chung's right. You're part of her staff. You have to stop following her around like a lovesick puppy. It's a disgrace to men everywhere."

"But she's..she's so…I could always transfer to some other assignment, out of her command," Gator back peddled. I could be the shoulder she cries on." Danny eyed the younger man. Yeah, he didn't think a sensitive softie like Gator was at all going to do it for her.

"Still not going to happen." Burk continued, rolling his eyes. "After Steve and now this guy, whoever he was, she is as skittish about men as a two day colt. So, you're out of luck Gator."

"And, we all have a strict policy about that, so lay off, Gator, before I have to write you up." Slattery gave the young officer a stern look but everyone knew Slattery was relatively easy going about the various relationships that occurred on ship. Unless someone got hurt, he really didn't want to know. "Besides, I have to agree with Chung. The man to take that woman on has to be um, shall we say, made of sterner stuff than you are or she'll flatten him like a steamroller."

Steve? Danny hadn't heard about this. Could he even ask?

"Steve? Who's he?" Frankie saved him from appearing too interested. Maybe he did have some redeeming friend qualities after all.

"I don't…" Burk began to hedge.

"Come on help a fellow guy who's unlucky in love out." Frankie went on. "My buddy has a girl like her and, well, when they are in a room together sparks fly." Danny decided to keep quiet and see if he could learn anything useful. "It's ridiculous, but it makes a man jealous, ya know?"

Carlton appeared to debate for a moment. "Well, back when were at the academy together there was this guy Steve. I'll leave his last name off for now in case you ever have the joy of serving with him. Anyhow, Steve was one of those My-life-has-always-been-perfect-and-I-deserve-the-best-girl kind of guys we all love to hate." There were several nods around the room. Danny slouched a little lower because all things considered he had lived a semi-charmed life too. "One of those guys who seems to have everything without lifting a finger." More nods. "So of course as soon as it became obvious that she was the woman to beat in everything, he had to have her. Suddenly his grades are skyrocketing and he's telling everyone it's because he wants to be a better man for her." Danny was getting a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach about where this was going. "They were hip to hip for two years. Classes, drill team, swim team, holiday vacations with his family, you name it, they did it together. And then, sometime midway through Third year she gets hauled in front of the Commander on cheating charges. Turns out Stevie had been stealing her work the entire time and when he was caught, he turned the blame on her."

"Hope that guy got what he deserved." Danny felt so angry on her behalf he couldn't keep quiet anymore. He grit his teeth to keep from saying more and he didn't care if anyone could read the situation from his locked jaw.

Burk shook his head. "He was smart enough to cover his tracks so that they couldn't prove who was lying or who was telling the truth. In the end, both were let off the hook for lack of evidence. She went on to graduate 1st in class anyway, and he ended up last. So I think in the end it was obvious who was grafting off of whom. He's still an O2 after 5 years so hopefully he'll be off team USA soon. But she's got a strict no-military policy now. So Gator, you really do need to look elsewhere."

Just one more card stacked against him, Danny thought. He would never get her to trust him now. And even if he could, she wasn't going to be breaking any rules, not when her career was at risk. The game went on as the conversation shifted to dating suggestions for Gator. But Danny felt the tension in himself winding tighter and tighter. He wanted to punch something, or some guy named Steve, but at the same time he knew it would take more than that to solve his conundrum.


	19. Chapter 19 - Blister in the Sun

So, I got this idea from a reviewer comment (Thanks K!) and it wouldn't leave me alone. I really like Burk's character. I think it was the scene where he brings Kara the drink on Serrana bank that created the soft spot I have for him. And I was really crushed at what happened to Ravit. So anyway, here's a bit of insight into what he may or may not know so far.

**Blister in the Sun, Violent Femmes**

Carlton was dealing the cards around the table when something clicked. Danny had rolled his eyes at Frankie and suddenly Carlton recalled the night they took Miller out to celebrate the completion of his first cruise. Holy shit, he couldn't believe he hadn't put two and two together before now…

"Hey Baby Girl, find any prospects for me here?" He smiled at Alicia across the table. They had been at the crowded night club about an hour already and he was feeling a nice buzz.

She smiled warmly but shook her head no. "You know Carlton, I am looking around, but all I see are girls you won't think are good enough or won't give a chance to show they are good enough."

Beside her Sarah shrugged apologetically. "She has a point. It's easier to seek prospects for Foster and she's not likely to do more than say hi and then bore a guy to death talking about cloud types and wind speeds. If you want to get some action, you need to consider lowering your standards. This paragon you are looking for is probably hiding in plain sight."

He smiled grimly. "Can't do that. She's out there and she's worth waiting for. I just know it." Across the room he saw Kara come through the entry way and glance around nervously. He raised a hand to wave her over. "Foster is actually dressed like a woman tonight. How'd you talk her into that?"

Alicia glanced over her shoulder. "Oh that? Georgie threatened to confiscate Mr. Bob if she didn't at least put in a good effort. I wouldn't have gone to such extremes but..She looks good, doesn't she?"

"Mr. who?" Carlton asked absent mindedly as he made eye contact with an intriguing petite woman with a cloud of dark spiraled hair who was tearing it up on the dance floor. Wow, he really liked the fluid way she moved.

Sarah winked at Alicia. Carlton could be a stick in the mud sometimes but they enjoyed trying to get a reaction out of him. "You know, her battery operated boyfriend?"

Seeing his confusion Alicia got in on the fun. "Tickle Stick? Electric cucumber? Beaver buzzer?"

"Plastic meat saber? Purr pickle?" Sarah offered

They paused to see if he would catch on. When he did, his face screwed up in disgust. "Oh come on! I don't want to know about that. Aggg. Now I need to go wash my ears!"

Alicia shrugged. "Sometimes a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do." Sarah erupted into a fit of giggles.

"Why'd you have to tell me that anyways!" Carlton gave Alicia his best evil eye. He knew they did it on purpose.

Kara joined them at the table and he tamped down the urge to blurt out something that would embarrass himself. "Hey Burk, I didn't know you were coming out tonight!"

"As much as I'd like to hear all about you ladies' love lives, I'm not gonna be here long." He tipped the edge of his phone up to glance at the screen. "My team's taking Baby Bird to get his anchor tonight. Just waiting on the guy to call and let us know he's ready."

"How'd you talk him into that?" She followed Carlton's gaze to see him watching a gawkey red head, polo shirt buttoned to his neck, attempting to groove to Billy Idol's Dancing By Myself.

"Kid might be young but when it comes down to it, he's got balls." She gave him a dubious look. "Plus Cruz and Cossetti put like four beers into him before we brought it up." He added grinning. His smile fell when he spied Georgie hurrying toward them. "And there's my cue to leave." On the table, the phone buzzed. After a brief glance he gave the guys on the dance floor a wave. "Yes! That's my guy, ready for us in 20. Any of you ladies want to join us?"

"Nah, one is enough for me." Kara shrugged him off, sizing up the crowd at the bar.

"Hey there big fella." Georgie sidled up to his side. "I hear your brother might be in town for the 4th. You gonna bring him to Slattery's BBQ?" He shuddered at the thought. Despite the fact that his big brother annoyed the piss out of him most of the time, he still couldn't understand why we was so taken with Georgie. The last time he had been in Norfolk he'd had to bail the two of them out after a bar fight.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, and I'm going to warn him off before we get there too. He's bucking for a promotion and doesn't need to hang out with mouthy troublemakers."

She shrugged, a light of amusement in her eye. "But last time he was here I almost had him convinced he should switch fleets. Maybe I should try harder this time?" She made a little moues with her lips and Carlton couldn't help but laugh.

"Georgie, you do whatever you like. My brother is way out of your league and you know it."

"Ohhh, that's harsh man!" Cossetti nodded to Georgie, Kara, and Alicia. "Evening Ma'am, Ma'am, and Ma'am and lovely Sarah." Sarah hid a giggle. No matter how many times Burk told Tommy that she would never be interested, he always tried to charm her. Carlton couldn't make up his mind if Cossetti didn't understand about Sarah and Alicia or just chose to ignore reality.

"Helllllllloooooo!" Miller's cheeks were flushed and his voice was a little louder than usual. "How come no one told me you all were so pretty?" Kara and Alicia laughed. They'd been at sea for 7 months with Eric and that was probably the first time he'd said anything other than "Hi" without stuttering.

Cruz motioned to him. "We gotta get him under the needle soon man. I don't think they'll mark him after he passes out."

They made their goodbyes and shepherded Miller to the door. As they were loading into his truck Carlton heard someone calling his name.

"Hey Burk, when did you get back in town? He turned and saw the familiar face Frankie Benz along with two guys he didn't know. One of the guys was huge, probably could give Bacon a run for his money, and had full sleeves down both arms. The other guy had a boyscout look to him. Since Frankie was a special forces guy, he figured they were both probably Navy too.

"Hey Frankie, long time no see! Just got in two days ago. Is the sparring group still meeting on Monday and Thursday nights?"

"Of course! You should come down and let me mess up that pretty face of yours next week." Carlton knew better than to take any of Frankie's trash talk too seriously. "You guys are leaving before 10 o'clock. Not a good night in there?" Benz nodded toward the door.

"Actually there's some very lovely women in there, if that's what your looking for." He recalled the dancing woman he'd seen earlier. If he had any ideas about coming back to introduce himself to her later, he'd better steer Frankie the other way. "In fact, we were just chatting up a group that was looking to make friends. At the high top near the corner of the bar. There's a firecracker there named Georgie, she's perfect for you Benz. I would have gone for her but we gotta appointment to get Baby Bird there an anchor. Wanna join us instead?"

"Nah, firecracker sounds more like what we're looking for. My buddy here hasn't been out in a while and we're going to try to find him a friend for the evening." Frankie made air quotes around the word friend and the boyscout guy rolled his eyes. "She your ex or something?" Frankie asked warily.

"No, but I hear from my brother she's real wild. Figured that's your type."

Frankie cocked his head to the side. "Well then, I'd say you are correct. Alright, have fun marking your team. We'll definitely keep an eye out for your gal."

On the short drive over to the tattoo parlor Cossetti and Cruz kept Miller talking. "Dude, what you want your ink to look like? I'm getting an anchor with an Eagle riding on it."

"Which was your first Carlton? The nautical star and rope? I had a few before I joined up but my first anchor was this one right here" Cruz flexed his arm as they pulled into the parking lot of a small cinderblock building and the pinup girl sitting on an acnchor looked like she was thrusting her bosums out.

Carlton sighed. "The anchor. Miller, you should consider what you want carefully. Don't want to be forever marked with something you'll regret." Jesus, when had he started channeling his father?

Miller didn't even seem to notice and why should he. He was 18 with everything to prove. "With the roses and banner? Who is Darla anyway?"

They entered the building and Carlton was pleased to see it was clean and businesslike, just as Barker had promised. "She's my mom. The nautical star symbolizes that a sailor can always find their way home."

"Wow!" Miller seemed to be perking up after the fresh air. "I figured it was a girl or something. I suppose I could add a Barbara on mine for my mother."

Cossetti cackled. "My ma would have a fit if she saw me with a tattoo. Think I'll get an anchor with a skull and sailor hat for mine, on my ass where my mother will never see it."

"Don't you want girls to see it?" Miller questioned. "I thought that was half the point of a tattoo?"

Carlton chuckled. "I think he's thinking that the right girls will see it."

Miller mouthed "Oh!" His eyes wide.

A heavyset man in a black tee and bandana came out. "So I assume this is the Burk group?"

Carlton stepped forward. "Yeah, that's us."

The artist looked over the group. "Note from the office gal says it's one newbie and maybe three or four flash pieces. That still the plan?"

"Yeah, but Miller here's the important one, if we only have time for one. I know it's late and all."

"Nah, we're open 2 PM to 2 AM. You guys are getting me at the best part of my day and my assistant will be here in a few too. We got you covered." He gestured to Miller. "Redhead huh, You done this before?"

Eric gulped and his freckles seemed to stand out even darker against his skin. "Uh, no? Is that bad?"

"Well it is a double edged sword. You see, redheads are a little more sensitive to pain but they are also better about covering up my work with sunblock. Whatcha got in mind?"

Miller stuck his hand in the pocket of his cargo shorts and withdrew a folded sheet of paper, smoothing it flat on the counter. "Could something like this work?"

The guy spun the paper around and studied it while Miller bit his lip nervously. "Yeah, yeah this is great. You drew this?" Miller nodded. Carlton leaned over his shoulder to see it. It was an anchor, about eight inches tall, piercing a nautical star. Miller had drawn it in pen on what looked like the cover of a training manual.

"I didn't know you could draw man." Cruz admired the sketch. "What are you doing in the Navy with talent like that?"

Miller snorted. "Do you know how much art school costs? Gotta save up a while."

The tattoo artist chuckled. "I hear you on that man. Took me 16 years to payback my loans, and that was working six nights a week and living off of ramen." He gestured toward a desk by the window. "Alright, I've got to make up a transfer which will take a few minutes. Do you want me to leave all this linework in or take it out. The fine needle's gonna hurt a bit more than the shader. And where were you thinking of getting it?"

"Um?" He looked to the other guys. "Where are you getting yours?"

The artist shook his head. "Uh uh. You get a tattoo for yourself, not other people. So where do you want it?"

He contemplated a minute. "Would it be weird for a scrawny guy like me to have it on my pec? I don't want it to show in shirt sleeves but I want to be able to see it myself.

He stood still while the other guy held the drawing up to his chest. "That would work. You gonna take it like a man or do I need to get one of your buddies over here to hold your hand?"

"I can take it."

And he did. Carlton had been pleasantly surprised at how well he had held up. When CMC Jeter had suggested they start training Miller for the boarding team, he hadn't been so sure the timid teen was cut out for it. But as usual, Jeter had been spot on about his character and toughness. After they all acquired some new ink, including new swallows for himself and Cruz, they departed. Piling back into the truck he considered his options for the rest of the evening. It was only 12:30, and while he wouldn't normally go out with a group of young enlisted guys, it was tradition to get inked as an entire team. He'd feel rude sending them all on their way now. "I'm gonna head back to the bar and see if the others are still there. Does anyone want me to drop them somewhere else first?"

Cossetti and Miller exchanged glances. They were apparently thick as thieves now that they had a shared more than training together. "What do you say?" Cossetti asked Cruz. "You up for meeting some ladies now?"

"Oh yeah, you gonna give me tips?" Everyone knew Cruz had a thing going with the little redheaded nurse at the base infirmary. Carlton doubted he'd be bringing anyone home later on.

They arrived back at the bar which was considerably more crowded now. "You guys are on your own for a ride home, OK? Everyone's got enough cash for a cab if you need it?" He didn't want to be limited by needing to chauffeur them around if that woman was still in there.

Cossetti was all swagger now. "Yeah, yeah we can take care of ourselves. Come on. Last one to the bar has to buy the first round." The younger men made a beeline for the bar but Carlton wanted to check in with his friends first.

Sarah and Alicia were dancing to some silly song with a crowd of other young women. Denise was sitting on the lap of that big guy who had been with Frankie Benz and giggling at something he was whispering in her ear. He had hoped Kara would be there but she was no where in sight. She could have helped him come up with a line that didn't sound like a line so he could introduce himself to that woman from earlier. Deciding Georgie would know where she was, he approached the high top where she and Frankie appeared to be playing some kind of drinking game that involved spinning a quarter. He could hardly believe his eyes, but it looked like she was blushing! He gave Frankie a nod in greeting and asked Georgie. "Kara still around here somewhere?" He continued scoping out the place but didn't see either of the dark haired women he was looking for.

Georgie and Frankie exchanged an amused glance. "No, she found herself a hot ticket and left to back to his place." Georgie winked at him.

"No seriously, where is she? She knows better than to just go home with a guy she met at a bar. What if he's a Steve type?"

Georgie chose to ignore his worrying. "Frankie, this is Carlton. He's a sexually repressed old lady but we go way back to our ah, college days, so we tolerate him anyway."

College days? He wondered what she was on about now. "Yeah, Georgie, I already know Frankie. So she's not here?"

"Nope." Georgie shook her curls. "And don't you dare text her until at least 10 AM tomorrow. If the looks she and that guy were giving each other for the last hour were anything to go by, she's really busy right now."

Frankie laughed. "Yeah, so I guess if you want a piece of me later we should go to your place then?" Carlton decided that was his cue to leave. He still hadn't seen the woman he was interested in so he said good night and took himself back to his apartment

And now, as he played it over in his mind, he couldn't believe he hadn't made the connection before. Holy crap! He had been so in his head bitching about how big talkers like Frankie Benz always seemed to get the ladies that he hadn't realized what had happened right under his nose. He glanced over his cards at Lieutenant Green. On the outside he looked calm but underneath it his jaw was clenched tight as it had been since Kara gave him the line about wasn't meant to be.

Slattery was going to clean him out anyway so he might as well make the most of his time by evaluating Green. He tossed a card on the table. "So Danny, if you're mountain guy, do you still have to go through scuba training?"


	20. Chapter 20 - Physical

When I was in engineering school there were so few women, we pretty much all knew each other by name at the end of the first week. I figure the women on the Nathan James probably feel even less restricted by officer/enlisted or rank and grade divisions. After all, with only 500 feet separating them and months of eating and sleeping together, they must know each other pretty well.

**Physical, Olivia Newton-John**

It was 0500 and Danny couldn't sleep. He'd been on the ice with Dr. Trophet until 2200 hours when the light of the midnight sun became too diffuse. He should have been exhausted but somehow he was lying in bed wide awake. He shifted to sit, his back bent to keep from hitting his head on the bunk above. On the floor, Halsey shifted with a snuff but even he didn't want to be up at this hour.

Sighing Danny rose and pulled a soft t-shirt over his head. He'd go the head and drink some water and then try reading for a while. If his eyes were at all tired he'd probably drop right off.

Half an hour later he was still propped against the end of the bunk. He'd drank the water and tried to read a month old copy of the Economist but it just wasn't holding his interest. His mind kept drifting to Kara. He'd caught the sound of her laughter from 30 yards down the p-way yesterday and it had gone straight to his gut. He wanted her to be laughing so lightheartedly for him. She was always so perfectly formal with him now and it was killing him. He hadn't been this precise in his Navy etiquette since his midshipman cruise. Realizing he wasn't going to get back to sleep he tossed the magazine down in disgust. He might as well get his day going then. The kitchen wouldn't put out a real meal for an hour so he dressed to hit the gym.

The p-ways were hushed but there were plenty of people on night watches around. He saw Alisha as he passed by the C.I.C.. He hadn't been able to keep himself from turning his head to look in the door as he passed by. She looked surprised to see him but she just gave a meek smile.

The familiar scent of rubber matting, sweat, and metal comforted him as he entered the gym. Like the rest of the ship, it was less busy than usual but not empty. Burk was skipping rope and Cossetti was lifting with Smith. Gator was doing plyometrics with another guy he didn't know plus a couple enlisted guys, O'Connor and Breeden. Queen blared out of the half broken boom box radio in the corner and there was a low mummer of encouragement from the guys training together.

He set down his water and took a jump rope off the wall. Might as well work up a good sweat. He joined Burk in an odd corner, out of the way of the weights. Burk looked him up and down without breaking a beat. "Not used to seeing you this early Green."

Danny began to swing the rope. He had to admit, he admired Burk's fitness and his mental acuity. He had a feeling that if this training had involved more active field tasks that he and Burk would have worked well together. He shouldn't have been surprised because Kara didn't strike him as someone who would tolerate less than stellar people as her close friends. That she shared a genuine friendship with Burk had been obvious from the start of this trip and went a long way toward convincing him that Carlton must be a pretty decent guy. "Yeah, I'm not usually a morning person unless I have to be, but this morning I woke up with a bit of a nostalgic feel for the early morning PT I used to do way back when. Figured I'd come down and see why all you guys have been so keen on mornings. He grinned at Burk. "Given how much complaining goes on at the 1300 PT, I'm a bit surprised how many guys are in here." While they were talking two more enlisted guys came in and began stretching.

Burk switched fluidly from a forward to reverse swing. "This is pretty normal for this time of day. You'll see why all these young guys are here in about five minutes."

Danny and Carlton were tossing a medicine ball when a group of three guys from the kitchen came in and started doing jumping jacks. Amazed he glanced around counting the number of people. This was probably the most he'd ever seen in the gym at once and breakfast hadn't even been served yet.

And then he saw why. Kara and Maya sauntered in at precisely 1330, laughing and gossiping about some guy named Wade. Kara had on a pair of gray sweats and a white tee with faded blue lettering. It should have been perfectly innocuous PT wear but the shirt clung to her in just the right places, whetting his appetite to see more. As the women pulled out yoga mats and began to stretch, every eye in the room was trained on one or the other. Kara leaned over to tie a shoe and his eyes traced the shape of her curved backside and delicate neck. Suddenly if felt 5 degrees warmer than before.

He glanced around to see that a few of the guys had definitely enjoyed the view but Burk had chosen a position to block a clear line of sight to the mats from the other side of the room. His appreciation of Carlton's intuition rose yet another notch, until Carlton threw the heavy ball and it smacked him in the chest causing him to fumble it. "Are we here to ogle our fellow crew members or get a workout in?" Burk's raised voice cut across the room and the men quickly averted their gazes. Danny met Carlton's sharp eyes. "I see what you mean now." Was all he said.

Kara and Maya chatted away while they moved through their routine and completely ignored the covert glances. They were moving in sync through morning salutations and it was hard for Danny to concentrate on what he was doing rather than just standing there admiring Kara's fluid movement. It brought to mind the supple feel of her muscles moving under him and he had to swallow hard. He tried harder to ignore her and focus on his own workout but it was impossible not to listen in, even if he kept his gaze averted. "I just don't get it. That was so good with the rain and the lighting and, well it was Wade. How could anyone even contemplate kissing George after that? Nothing against George, but put them side by side and whose ass do you just want to bite right into?" He bushed hearing Kara talk like that in public because he knew exactly what that would feel like. Who the heck was this Wade guy?

Maya flashed a grin as the women rose into a warrior pose. "I know right? Wade is total spank bank material. George…"

"He's more like the guy you invent to get your mother to stop fixing you up with podiatrists and grocery store managers." Kara supplied.

Maya laughed a little wistfully. "I would love to have a mother who did that." She shifted to stand on one foot, the other resting against her knee. "It has to be Wade. Who else would it be? Jesse flops. Judson just never has that spark. Joel? Not even in her league!"

Danny very much wanted to know who all these men were that he'd never heard of. Kara raised her hands over her head, spreading her toes to balance effortlessly on one foot. "You forgot Jonah. I would pick him. He's hot AND a doctor. At Spring Break when he took off his shirt, I was like yes, yes, yes!" Danny's eyes narrowed and he felt his blood pressure rise, jealousy clawing at him.

Maya tossed her head back and laughed, almost losing her balance. "Come on, can you imagine it being as good with Jonah as it was with Wade?"

"All I know is that I was imagining it for weeks. I mean, come on, he's just as hunky as Wade and super smart too. Could be just what the doctor ordered." She giggled at her own joke. "Just the still of that shirtless shot should last me the rest of this cruise anyway." Kara fanned her face with her hand. His mind went somewhere he really knew it shouldn't even as he was fuming. As much as he disagreed, he could respect her conviction to put their past behind them, but she didn't have to rub her other conquests in his face!

He couldn't believe how relived he was when Maya said "You really need to get the next DVD." Wait, they were talking about a TV show? Jeez, he was getting all worked up over fictional character? He nixed the idea that she was trying to rile him up on purpose. Kara was the one to shut him down so she was probably trying her hardest to ignore him. "Then you'll meet Joel and realize that Zoe and Jonah are as likely as Lemon dating the Truit brothers." Maya refused to be distracted from her primary argument. "I'll grant that Jonah has some good qualities and would be good for someone else. But when he opens his mouth and I'm back to rooting for Wade. Except then I get mad because, I mean, Wade versus George is like comparing someone like Burk or Green to Gator or.." Maya suppressed a giggle as she nodded to the gangly guy running on a treadmill "Miller."

Kara rose out of her pose to place her hands on her hips. She gave Maya a stern look. "Hey, those are the people we work with. Take my advice and just don't go there."

"Oh, I won't. But seriously, some people, no matter how nice they are, just aren't going to make it into fantasies, you know? That's why Wade is in and George is out." Kara thought about some of the fantasies she'd had lately. There was only room for one man in them.

Kara sighed. "Yeah, well all the people you work with are permanently out." She caught Danny's eye. "No matter how tempting, it's a bad idea."

"You know that Gator has a crush on you, right? Bet there's an old gym sock with your name on it in his rack." Maya teased.

"Ewwwww, enough. Unless we're talking more about Wade or those abs, I am out of this conversation. We've only been out here for four weeks. That's way too soon to get carried away with crazy hormone nonsense." She sat on her mat and began some V ups. "I thought you were going to be able to see your boyfriend this leave?"

Maya scrunched up her nose. "Well, he was supposed to come in on the Truman three weeks ago Friday, but once again we missed each other. So don't worry. I have no intentions of ever, ever dating anyone in the Navy ever again. It's way too complicated."


	21. Chapter 21 - I'm Gonna Be

Why am I naming the chapters off of 80's music? It's mostly because I like it..but a little bit because of Top Gun and a little bit because the last time I went out to a nightclub (which admittedly is probably more than 10 years ago) it was 80's night and really fun. Also, I think 80's songs are the best for working out. Right now, I am on a huge INXS and U2 kick. This song just gets me every time.

I'm Gonna Be, The Proclaimers**

Two more weeks passed. Danny loved the work in the arctic. It was so different from his previous missions. He had spent most of his service in the Middle East and Eastern Africa. He didn't think he'd ever spent so much active duty time without being shot at. Each day he worked out with Burk before breakfast and then spent a few hours on the ice with the scientists, a partner, and Halsey. He checked equipment for the next day and checked in with his unit to make sure everyone was doing OK with their responsibilities. He jogged with Halsey, trying not to stare up at the C.I.C. windows. Later he ran the PT session and pre-BUDS training with his unit and a few go getters from the ship.

Afterward, as he headed for the showers, he always passed Kara coming down to the mess. She still wasn't talking to him, but at least she would acknowledge him with a curt "Lieutenant Green". But even if she wasn't saying anything, her expression had become less rigid as days passed and he figured it was just a matter if time.

Today she was almost hiding a smile as they passed. God she is so beautiful he thought, and he felt his daily dose of longing for what could have been. He knew he had ruined it, but it was hard to stop from fantasizing about grabbing her by the hand and pulling her into a closet and kissing her breathless.

"Lieutenant Foster." He nodded, wondering what she was smiling about. He watched over his shoulder as she went a few steps farther past and then stopped short. "Danny?"

His heart leapt into his chest as he turned fully. "Yes?"

She smiled impishly over her shoulder and he couldn't help but smile back. Her eyes were sparkling with mirth. "Your shoes are still untied."

Taken aback, he looked down to see that indeed, his trainers were untied. "Still?"

She was moving on now but he could hear her chuckle. "Have been since the end of your jog." He watched her swish her way down the passage, too far past for him to respond. But he was too stunned anyway. So, she had been watching him. His mind jumped into over gear. Huh, so she wasn't as unaffected by him as he thought.

He proceeded down to his room deep in hopeful thought. Was she thinking about him in the same way or was she getting over it? How could he find out? It was all he thought about through his quick shower. He was sure it was a sign that she might not be as angry with him anymore.

Everyday she came back to her room at precisely 1340 hours. He would hear steps approach and then the door open and close. Then she stayed in her room for 2 hours and when she came out she went to the gym area for a second workout. He wondered what she did in her room. Was she writing in a journal? Watching a movie? Taking a nap?

After the shoelace incident, as he had taken to calling it in his mind, Danny decided that even if she wasn't going to talk with him she might still listen to what he had to say. So he made an excuse to join her with Burk, Gator, Miller, Chief Engineer Garnett, and a few others in the mess. She sat as far from him as possible and he ended up trading fish stories with Burk the entire time. As much as he was jealous of the friendship Kara and Carlton shared, he had to admit Carlton was an OK guy and also one helluva soldier. He could hold his own with anyone in the PT sessions and he had the most similar role to Danny on the ship. Still, we wasn't there to talk to Burk.

The next try was to invite her to the PT sessions outright. He knew Kara could handle them since she loved to workout but she declined and he was forced to admit that he was going to have to take more drastic measures.

The next day he wrote a short note, mostly an apology asking for a friendly walk on the deck during their 5 off. He taped it shut and slipped the note under her door while he knew she was taking her PT. An hour later he found it back under his door, unopened, with "return to sender" neatly penned across the front.

He recalled what Slattery and Bernie had advised, gifts. Of course, in the middle of the Arctic Ocean, under radio silence, the gift options were limited. And if she wouldn't even open a note, his gift wasn't going to fare any better. No, he needed to get her to think of him as a friend. Then he could help her realize that they were as compatible as ever.

The inspiration hit him during PT the next day. LCDR Garnett came in and began to jog on a treadmill. He was looking at her contemplating asking for a suggestion. She was an accomplished woman, intelligent, ambitious, and had been married a long time. She might give better advice than either Slattery (who was known to dabble in port occasionally) and Bernie who apparently had been divorced. He was watching her jog and trying to figure out how to ask for advice without letting her know that the woman he was interested in was on the ship when he noticed the flyer on the bulletin board behind her. Christmas in July festivities were about to begin. There was going to be a Christmas carol karaoke night, Christmas cookie decorating party, Secret Santa, Christmas movie nights, and a Christmas dinner with most of the trimmings. If Kara was going to spurn his advances when she knew it was him, Secret Santa could be a way to get in the door before she realized it. That evening he casually asked around until he figured out who was setting up the Secret Santa assignments.

An hour later he was whistling Here Comes Santa Claus as he made his way back to his stateroom. Twenty bucks and a promise to attend every event he could had gotten what he needed. He'd be paired with Lieutenant Foster for the gift giving.

"Now Halsey, to prepare the gift." He settled into his rack with his iPod.


	22. Chapter 22 - Head Over Heels

My youngest kid likes to wear my old rowing medals around the house for fun. And when I see those colorful ribbons around her neck and hear the medallions clinking, all I can think is how many years of 5 AM training went into collecting what have become some really durable play necklaces. I can imagine that when Danny sees Halsey ignoring him to obey Kara's every command, he feels that same kind of mix of pride and astonishment tangled together. Luckily for Halsey (and my kids), by the time you've put that much of yourself into something, you know that the reward isn't something anyone else can give to you, but rather what you yourself take away from the experience. So when she's twirling around and denting up those medals, I just shrug and tell myself to be patient. If I can just hang on for another 15 years of this, we might just have something to be proud of.

**Head Over Heels, Tears for Fears**

It had been a long day. Earlier in the week Dr. Scott had asked for Kara and Chung's help rigging a drone to run up and down some of the harder to access cliffs. For the last five days Kara had been working from 0000 to 1700 hours with only brief breaks for the gym, lunch, and dinner. They were modifying one of their smaller drones so they could see its video in a live feed. It had been a good project to buy her some time and space before she approached Danny. As soon as she'd returned his note unread, she'd kicked herself for not at least seeing what he had to say. Then who should turn up on day two to learn how to fly the drone but none other than the devil himself. She had managed to resist his charm and keep everything professional, but it had been draining to keep tabs on every word, gesture, and touch when she was packed in with him and Chung in the small workspace carved out of the helo bay.

Kara had held back her exhaustion and traitorous emotions while teaching him how to work the controls. He had some good ideas for ways they could improve the vertical precision of the small craft so they continued to work together closely. Kara took on most of the programming to improve the controls while Danny and Chung took apart the stepper motors and tried out different methods to change the mechanical resistance of the rotating wings. She had been impressed with how closely he listened to the junior officer and how they were able to discuss mechanics and electronics with ease. She had to admit, her first impression of Danny as a thoughtful and intelligent man had been supported in everything she'd seen of him.

He had never used drones before so when he asked "Can we practice with it up on the forward deck?" She had acquiesced and suddenly her five off had been consumed with troubleshooting the drone and the modifications together, as well as laughing over Halsey's obvious joy at chasing the little craft. "I'll have to teach him to ignore it before we take it ashore." He said, shaking his head at the barking dog. Kara immediately remembered how he'd loved barking at the gulls on their sailing trip.

"You can do that, just teach him something like that?"

"Sure. Who do you think trained him in the first place? Handlers have a pretty heavy role in the training. I've probably logged more hours at Lackland than any other single place." She was impressed as always with his accomplishments. For a guy with a privileged upbringing and looks he could totally rely on to get by in life, he certainly didn't let others do the heavy lifting for him. "Tomorrow I'll bring a few treats and start on it. You can help, if you want." She nodded and he smiled broadly, like she had just given him the moon. Instantly she wondered what she was thinking, saying yes. The conversation had been going so smoothly, almost like old times, that it had just sort of slipped out before she'd had the chance to stop herself.

It seemed like a blink of an eye and then the four hours had flown past and she was making her exit to go run her daily training session for the ensigns within the C.I.C. and he was off to prep for his pre-BUDs group. When she shuffled toward her bunk at 1700 she was worn through, but happier than she had been in weeks.

The very next day Danny brought a well worn tennis ball and some treats with him. When it was time to take the drone outside Halsey trotted by his side, happy to be in the fresh air. Fortunately, it was about 40 degrees so while chilly, it wasn't uncomfortable to work outside. Kara and Chung set up the laptop they were recording with while Danny set up the portable UHF antenna that would send the video feed back to the ship. When it was time to give it a try, Chung and Danny took the drone to the front wall of the superstructure and Kara activated the link with the laptop.

"I have the signal, we're go to begin flight." She told the two men.

Chung took the controller and Danny crouched next to Halsey. "For now, we just need to get him to accept the whirring propellers, then we'll get it flying. So I'll give him the quiet signal then I'll give you the signal to fire it up. If he follows my order, I'll give you a signal when to shut it down. Then we'll give him a treat to reinforce the behavior and do it again for a little longer and so on, ok?"

"Sounds good." Chung and Kara watched as he bit off a piece of jerky and held it in his mouth. He put out his hand and lowered it, palm down, and the dog instantly lowered himself to the ground. Danny held a finger to his lips and Halsey lowered his head to his paws. As they quietly waited for the next step, Kara studied them. Halsey's eyes were locked on Danny and Danny studied his watch. Both he and Halsey were motionless but their poses and muscle tension indicated an acute awareness of their surroundings. She had to admit, he cut an awfully handsome and virile image in the weak arctic sunlight. After a minute, Danny gave the signal to rise and Halsey scrambled to sit, his head cocked to the side, eyes following Danny's every move as he waited for the treat.

"Good boy." Danny passed him the treat and the dog wagged his tail. They repeated the same steps again four more times but he didn't give another treat until the 5th time. "Ok, I think he has the idea. Let's try just turning the motors on this time." Again he lowered his hand and Halsey got into position. This time, after he gave the quiet signal with one hand, he gave Chung a thumbs up with the other. The minute the propellers started the dog's eyes whipped from Danny's face to the small craft. His tail twitched in anticipation. Just as he looked like he was about to bark Danny signaled Chung to turn it off. "Good boy." Halsey gobbled up a treat from his hand. After a few more tries they progressed to flying. By the time they had exhausted the battery, Halsey was done barking at the drone.

As they disassembled the system Danny told Chung, "Tomorrow we can switch and I'll fly the drone, like I will for Dr. Scott. After that, we should be able to take it to the ice." While they worked to carefully remove and pack the propellers in the drone's case, Kara began to break down the laptop and antenna. Dr. Scott was anxious to begin checking the cliffs. She had said eggs and nests would be helpful for her work and more of the birds were in the cliffs than the open snowfields. Kara was proud that the three of them might be able to contribute to her research soon. But, once they decided the drone was ready to go, she'd also lose this time working with Danny. She moved more slowly as she put the equipment away.

"He's quite a smart dog Green." Chung patted Halsey on the head. "Makes me wonder if we should start training dogs to help in engineering. I bet we could teach him to fetch wrenches quicker than most new recruits."

Danny smiled, pride in the dog and himself evident as he scratched one furry ear. "Halsey is by far the easiest dog I've worked with. He has a great attention span and he's so tuned to people that he never misses a command." He pulled the old tennis ball from his pocket.

Turning to Kara he said "I've got to reward The Fuzz here with some play or tomorrow he might get a little stubborn about using what he earned today. Can you throw this for him until I get back?"

"Sure." She glanced at her watch. "For a while anyway. I need to go around 1100." Danny nodded and handed Kara the ball. As their hands brushed a shiver went through her, like her nerves recognized him on contact. Their eyes met for a moment, and then he winked. Damn fool man. What the heck was he doing?

Chung waved him off when he reached for the handle on the top of the heavy case rack that held the drone. "Don't worry about it. I just need a hand getting it over the knee knockers and then you can stay with the dog." The younger man began wheeling the crate toward the hatch.

Danny's eyes narrowed on Chung. "Don't worry. I won't be gone long." He gave Halsey some kind of signal and then he picked up the two cases she had prepared and headed for the hatch. She sighed. What was she going to do about him? She had the impression that Chung had just thwarted some plan he had, but she didn't mind. She had missed hanging out with the dog and if that meant an awkward hand off when he returned, so be it.

"Hey boy, playtime." Halsey bounded around her feet as she backed up into the bow. "Down!" She gave him the signal and he crouched low, but his tail wagged so forcefully that his whole rear end made circles in the air. She tossed the ball, careful not to send it so hard that it bounced overboard. 75 pounds of muscle shot past her feet and leapt into the air, catching it before it landed. He trotted back to her, tail wagging and set the ball at her feet. His eyebrows raised to say "Again?"

She smiled and rolled it toward him with her foot. He crouched and nosed it back to her, cocking one ear to ask "Again, Again?"

Five minutes later she threw the ball for what felt like the millionth time. But instead of running after it this time, he trotted to her and sat stiffly at attention, his warm head pressing against her knee. She was able to catch the ball as it bounced back but she gave the dog a quizzical look. He'd never gotten tired that quick before. A few weeks ago she'd thrown a Frisbee twice as far for an hour and he had wanted to keep going. Looking up she realized that someone was coming down the ladder from the weather deck.

"Morning Ma'am." Cruz smiled as he approached but he looked warily at Halsey. "I heard the tennis ball and thought Green would be down here."

"He just went in to store some equipment with Chung. He'll be back in a few minutes." She tossed the ball from hand to hand. Beside her leg, Halsey seemed to relax a little but he was still keeping his deep brown eyes on Cruz. "Do you want me to tell him you were looking for him?"

"No, I usually just come down here to pick his brain about stuff while he exercises the dog." He glanced between her and the dog before adding "I'm surprised he lets you handle his balls."

Kara's eyes just about bugged out of her head. "Excuse me?" Heat flooded her cheeks.

He nodded toward her hands. "Tennis balls are like his favorite thing. He's usually very protective of them. He'd be growling if I was doing that."

"Oh, yeah, well, me and Halsey are buddies. Aren't we boy?" She tossed the ball to the wall again but the dog stayed at her feet, although his gaze left Cruz and followed the arc to the wall with longing. She wondered at his strange behavior. "Go get it!" At her command he finally bounded away, easily retrieving the ball before it came to a stop.

"He should let you throw if I hand you the ball, wanna try?"

Cruz shook his head from side to side vehemently. "No way! I don't want to get snapped at." She couldn't imagine Halsey ever snapping at anyone. Sure he was obedient, but he didn't strike her as an attack dog.

"Oh don't be silly." She knelt and ruffled the fur behind the dog's ears and in return, he licked the side of her face. "He could never hurt anyone."

"Uh Ma'am, I hate to ruin your image of the Admiral but I doubt he's always sweet. I've seen dogs like him bite hard enough to break a man's arm. Everyone on the team knows not to mess with the dog's ball. He lives for that thing you know." Cruz gestured to the scuffed tennis ball in her hand. "Just don't ever forget that he can take you down if he wants to."

She felt a sliver of unease. She was trying to remember if he had been part of the large party at the bar that night. She remembered that Burk had brought some of his team in, but the alcohol had left her memory murky. "Go get it!" She tossed the ball from where she was kneeling and The Fuzz darted away.

Danny opened the hatch to see Kara on her knees in front of Cruz. She was grinning up at him and he heard her saying "I'm not worried about him." What the hell? He started forward, fists clenched at his sides. Fortunately for Cruz, he was almost bowled over when Halsey flew past him, ball in his mouth, without even stopping to see if he'd throw it. He watched as the dog pranced to a stop in front of Kara and sat obediently. She nodded and the dog dropped it at her feet. She picked up the now slimy toy without hesitation with one hand and then dug in her pocket with the other. "Tell Mr. Cruz you're a good boy. Speak!" She commanded firmly. Halsey gave a puppy like yip and then licked her fingers to gobble up whatever it was that she had in her pocket. "See, not a killer, just needs to know he's loved." She threw the ball as she stood, brushing off her knees. When she noticed Danny watching them from the hatchway her hands stilled in the process of pushing an errant strand of hair back into her winter hat. "Did you know Cruz was afraid of dogs?" She called out.

He took a deep breath and let his tension go. Jesus that woman was going to cause him an early heart attack or something. He joined them by the rail. "No, are you?"

Cruz ducked his head, a faint blush staining his dusky cheeks. "No, I just have a healthy respect for what he's capable of." He nodded to the dog, who was currently launching himself in the air to catch the ball again, tongue flailing in the breeze.

Kara gave a teasing smile that Danny hadn't seen since they were sailing much warmer waters. "Cruz was just warning me off."

"From me?" Danny's brows shot up.

The look of confusion crossing the younger man's face turned to speculation when he caught Kara giving Danny a pointed eye roll. "No of course not, from the Admiral. Apparently he could rip my throat out at any moment."

"Well.." He didn't want to burst her bubble but that was kind of true, except maybe not for her. Halsey had slept at her feet for two weeks after all.

"Anyhow, clearly she has some magical ability to control your dog that I don't have." Cruz backed away a little, nervously cracking his fingers as he glanced between them. "I can see you are busy, uh, training the dog. I'll see you at PT sir." Cruz waved and headed back up the ladder. They watched him go as if it wasn't the first time they had been alone in four weeks.

Kara silently threw the ball again. Since the poker night, she had realized she really needed to just talk to Danny to explain why she wouldn't risk jeopardizing their careers. Although she had essentially accused him of playing games when they first re-met on the ship, she had now realized that exactly the opposite was true. He took his career very seriously. She could see it in the way he spoke to the men he was training, the way he prepared for every trip on the ice with Dr. Scott, and even how he drove Burk crazy asking a million questions about ship board life. She didn't want to be the ruin of his career any more than she was willing to let him ruin hers. But she wanted to know him more and let him know her. Since coming aboard the ship she'd thought up literally hundreds of questions she wished she could ask to get to know him better. But, now that she had the opportunity she found her mind going blank. Kara had been curious about Halsey ever since she met him so she decided he was as good a conversation starter as any. "How come you switched from explosive detection dogs to a multipurpose dog like Halsey?"

"I see someone has read my file. Tsk tsk." With a raised eyebrow, Danny wagged his finger at her. Halsey ducked his head and raised a paw up to his eyes.

She knew she should feel embarrassed but she couldn't help but laugh. "Did you train him to do that too?"

Danny shrugged and bounced the ball off the deck high into the air. Halsey followed it circling his front paws around with little hops while he barked in delight. "We spend a lot of time in transit to different places with nothing better to do. He knows enough tricks to keep all of my sisters' kids happy for hours."

He didn't seem too upset but still, here was her chance to relieve herself of some of the guilt she felt over snooping. "I'm sorry. I was in the system and I..well…I wanted to know what was and wasn't true." She wondered if he would be offended. He could tell Chandler or Slattery and get her written up. She wouldn't be able to deny it since th record of her activity in NKO would show it.

To her relief he shrugged with a mischievous smile. "I read yours the other day too." She was a bit surprised but not offended. Until he tried to send her the note last week, she had figured he was having an easier time letting go than she was. But if he was snooping around only a few days ago? She was beginning to wonder.

"And?"

"And I'm wondering where, in your rapid fire training and deployments you learned to bribe a dog with.. His calloused fingers slid around her wrist and he lifted her hand to sniff it. "Bacon?"

Despite her resolve to ignore the fact that this was Danny and she was determined to stay in her work mode she giggled and a warm flush radiated from where he held her arm. She had always thought going weak in the knees was just an expression, but apparently not. Glancing around with relief that there was no one around to notice she whispered "That's not fair."

"Nope." He shook his head and didn't try to argue with her. When she met his pleading look with a glare, he dropped her hand and she had to fight the urge to clasp it to her chest. The loss of his warm fingers circling her wrist left her with a new awareness of the cool breeze.

The silence stretched longer than was comfortable and Kara shifted from foot to foot. "Well, uh, I guess, I should go in and get ready to run my daily training session. Thanks for letting me hang out with Halsey a bit. He's good for morale."

Sighing, Danny watched her stiff back as she marched away. The entire time he had been stowing equipment with Chung, he'd been internally debating the wisdom of asking her to join him for a cup of coffee. After this he was headed to the wardroom to feed Halsey anyway, it would have been a friendly way to prolong his time with her. But after seeing her with Cruz he'd forgotten his plan and ended up pushing too hard, ruining his chance. The last four days, well, they had been marvelous. Just getting her to talk to him directly again had felt like such a victory. And now, after he had felt the electric joy of touching her skin again, he knew he couldn't just let go. Then again, she had practically run just now. He was still wondering how it seemed so easy for her to get over him while he was having such a tough time. He just hoped he didn't make a complete fool of himself with the Secret Santa.

"Come on boy." He whistled to Halsey and followed her path to the hatch. "Time for dinner." At his favorite word, The Fuzz circled his legs and gave him a nudge from behind. Some relationships were far more easy than others. "Whoa now, patience, patience!" He wasn't sure if he was telling himself or the dog.


	23. Chapter 23 - Push It

This chapter is not work safe, unless you really want to push it, push it real good. Bump bump bump bump bump bump badadada bump bump bump bump bump bump...

**Push it, Salt n' Peppa**

Head down, headphones blasting Salt n' Peppa, Kara crashed into a wonderfully solid and warm body in the passageway between her berth and the officer's head. She flashed back to the other day when he had grasped her wrist. The same jolt of awareness was now centered on her chest. Instantly she felt her nipples tighten almost painfully as she stumbled to a stop.

"Whoa there Lieutenant." He stabilized her by the arms as her hands came up to push herself back from his chest, his wide, bare, and very well toned chest which was now creating a delicious tingle in her fingertips too. He smelled of soap and damp skin and drops of water still clung to his shoulders magnifying his freckles.

She pulled back as if she had been burned. "Sorry" she pulled the ear buds out and he raised an eyebrow at her choice of music. "Just back from the gym." Goodness, and she probably smelled like a pig too. Sweat dampened the collar of her shirt and her hair was plastered to her forehead. She bit her lip to keep from mentioning she had been on her way to a cold shower knowing he would take that the wrong way.

"I'm starting to think you're deliberately trying to knock me on my ass." The note of humor in his voice was not lost on her.

She forced her gaze up from the waistband of his shorts, which were enticingly molded to his hipbones, to his face taking in the faint stubble on his jaw, the tiny wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, and the damp tuft of hair sticking out over his ear. Before she even realized what she was doing, she was standing on tiptoes to smooth his hair down and telling him "You really ought to let me trim that before Commander Slattery writes you up at the next inspection." She brushed against him again and her pupils shot wide with awareness of what she was doing and what exactly she was feeling against her stomach. Blushing fiercely, she clapped a hand over her mouth and rocked back onto her heels stuttering "Sorry, I don't know where that came from, too tired." She waved a hand as she spun back toward her room. Real smooth Kara, real smooth.

"I don't know if I should trust you with deadly weapons these days." came the reply from behind her. She didn't look back as she entered her room but she heard him whistle the synthesized melody to match the squeeks coming from her headphones as he continued toward his own berth, and she couldn't help but smile.

Fuck she was tired. She changed for bed and crawled into her bunk. Since she had cut up her sweatshirt to make a scarf for the upcoming Secret Santa exchange, her only long sleeved pajama shirt was Danny's flannel. The soft plaid still smelled faintly of him and, given their height difference, made an excellent night shirt. She cuddled into it and burrowed into her blanket. God she couldn't wait for this training to end. She wasn't cut out for the arctic.

Twenty minutes later she was still wide awake. She rolled to her other side in frustration but she couldn't stop thinking about him. Working together for the last week had been OK, if a little nerve raking. He was intelligent and creative and they made a good problem solving team. Maybe she should just try to be friends? She had plenty of male friends, a woman had to in this environment. Maybe she should just try to think of him like the way she thought of Burk or Gator. She cared about them too…although she admitted it was different when you had not only seen someone naked, but you desperately wanted to get naked with them again. She hoped that maybe eventually she'd stop feeling the heat of a blush every time he looked at her, and her pulse would stay even when he touched her.

She imagined what it would be like to be friends. To laugh at each other's jokes and share stories and entwine their lives, just a little bit. But then she remembered the instant heat of him against her this afternoon and knew she was fooling herself. She could no less forget that he made her mouth water just by entering room than she could forget her own name. "Uggg, this is soo not fair!" She announced to no one in particular. She put her headphones in and tried to let the awesome playlist she had gotten from her Secret Santa lull her to sleep.

Danny shut the door to his room and breathed a sigh of relief that they hadn't been out there too long. The feel of her pressed against him, even for just a moment, had left him aching and hard. If anyone had come along, they would have gotten an eyeful. Kara had been listening to his playlist, and he could tell she liked it, but he was disappointed she hadn't made the connection between the 80's music and him. And she had hardly seemed affected by him while he had needed to beat a hasty retreat. The initial crash had been ok, but when she'd put her hand on his shoulder all he could think about was the first time, when she'd left nail marks in that very spot. Now is skin tingled like she had marked him again. How could she just stop wanting him so easily? He could hardly walk down the p-way without smelling her shampoo or catching a whisper of her voice and then his thoughts were out of control, going someplace they really shouldn't be going with a fellow officer. He knew for a fact that Kara had a very healthy sex drive. Like any other member of the ship, she must get lonely. Maybe she was getting it all out of her system in private?

He could just see it now. She would take out her phone and scroll to a picture of them from the beach, or better yet, that hike they'd taken in the mountains. Yeah that hike because it had been interrupted by a ten minute diversion against a tree that had started when she gave him that exact same smile over her shoulder as she had today. Shit, he was getting hard just thinking about it. They hadn't even taken all their clothes off. She'd given him that look and then pulled him off the path behind a large tree by a little stream. She had dropped her pack, dropped her panties from under her hiking skirt, and then reached for him. It was five weeks ago but he remembered it like it was yesterday. And damn it, that afternoon had been the last time he'd been able to think about anyone but her.

Glancing at his door to see that it was locked, Danny slipped his hand into his shorts. He felt heavy and ready. His hot flesh practically leapt against his hand. He imagined her in her own room. She'd take off her uniform and hang it neatly over the edge of her locker. She'd be wearing one of her plain white bras with the delicate lace edging and those white granny panties that drove him crazy because he could see the darkness of her hair through the thin cotton. He stroked slowly, savoring his fantasy of her recalling a memory they shared. He knew he wouldn't last long. He didn't know which bunk was hers, but he imagined it as the bottom. That way she could set one leg up on the frame. He knew those sleek legs were stronger than they looked. She had practically leapt into his arms and locked them around his waist while he braced his back, still wearing a daypack, against that tree. She had been so wet before he even touched her that afternoon that she'd left a damp spot on his bare abdomen with their first kiss. She'd felt so soft against him. Maybe here she'd lick her fingers before sliding them into her panties to recreate that delicious contrast between wet heat and cool mountain air. He did the same. It wasn't the same as her hot slickness but he practically groaned out loud at the feel anyway.

He envisioned her lying back on her bunk with her dark nipples just showing through her bra. She'd rub one hand over a breast in loose circles, the way she sometimes did to him. With her other hand she'd gently spread her folds wider to locate her clit and begin making slow passes up and down it as she thought about the way she had slowly, slowly lowered herself upon him, inch by dripping inch, watching his face the entire time to see if he was enjoying it. God, how he had enjoyed it. He'd tipped his head back to the rough bark of the tree and told her so. "Damn it Kara you're incredible."

She wasn't a screamer by any means, but she certainly was vocal enough to let him know what she liked. "Couldn't wait. Couldn't wait." was what she kept saying that afternoon under the tree. He had felt so thrilled then that this amazing woman had chosen him. He was determined to bring her pleasure and not disappoint her. He gripped his base with one hand so his thumb knuckle would create a friction point for Kara and the tight grip of his fingers would stall his own orgasm until she had a chance to come. With his other hand he stroked faster as his memory of her mingled with his fantasy.

In her cramped bunk she would shift so that two delicate fingers could plunge into her damp heat while she used her other hand to firmly manipulate her clit. He knew she'd like that. She'd arch her back and recall how it felt when he dropped his head to suckle first one nipple and then the other through her thin cotton tee shirt and bra. She'd be wishing he was there, now, to do it again because no matter how good a fantasy is, it's just not the same. She'd be rocking her hips to increase the friction and a delicate pink flush, that he could swear he could feel on her skin, would begin to blossom.

His pace quickened as he thought about her weight in his arms, her breath harsh and ragged in his ear, the halo of the sun on her glorious dark hair when he looked down at the top of her head on his shoulder. The afternoon of the hike she had leaned into him and mouthed his shoulder as she ground against him and he could still feel the wet, hot brand of her lips on his bare skin. With his free hand he had supported her and felt the smooth skin of her ass cheek under his fingers begin to quiver as her orgasm overtook her. The rush of sensation as she clutched him in a deep shudder had almost overwhelmed him. As she had fluttered deep inside he had lost it. To be honest though, it hadn't been the most all consuming sex he'd ever had. He hadn't let himself go as freely as he had that first night, or other times since, but it had been emotionally intense. Because as he had watched and felt her come undone in the bright sunlight, and then as he had held her as she came back to earth, he had realized how completely trusting she had been. He had realized how she had opened herself to him. In that moment she had been completely, freely, willingly vulnerable to him.

As he poured out all the accumulated guilt, and sorrow, and wanting, and joy into his hand he felt a momentary respite. But once he cleaned up and his mind began to whirl again, it all crashed back upon him. Danny wasn't a saint, that was for sure, and he'd had a few girlfriends and a few hookups over the years. And although he and Kara were more adventurous in bed than anything he had experienced before, they were still pretty tame. But there was something about that afternoon, the feel of her trusting him to hold her up while she lost it completely, that had twisted something inside him. Twenty minutes later he had been following her up the path again, but everything had suddenly become totally different. He had known that he was in big trouble then and there because how could he tell her what had changed when he knew she had to leave? He couldn't do that to her. He couldn't burden her with his attachment when she didn't want that kind of relationship. So he hadn't said a thing. It was his own damn fault that he felt this way now, because he had chosen not to say a word of what he was feeling then, and now he had lost his chance.


	24. Chapter 24 - Always On My Mind

Magical bacon. People call bacon the gateway meat. I've known people who have been vegan their entire lives but say they're never more tempted to try meat than when they smell bacon. And really, if you're going to break the rules with anything, bacon is a great place to start.

**Always on My Mind, Pet Shop Boys**

Kara rolled up the overly long sleeves of the flannel shirt so they wouldn't get wet while she brushed her teeth. She had recently sacrificed the old Nathan James sweats she wore for cold weather jammies in order to make her Secret Santa in July gift and now Danny's shirt was her best candidate for sleepwear. She still couldn't believe of all 217 people on the ship she had drawn Danny's name. The box of fancy truffles she'd packed back in June just didn't seem like the right thing to give him. Plus, she felt she couldn't give chocolates to him knowing how dangerous they were for dogs.

Danny seemed so happy to be part of the crew and didn't already have any Nathan James swag so she figured he'd like the scarf she was making. Besides, she couldn't come up with any better ideas. The only people on the ship that knew of their connection were Frankie and Alicia and she'd be damned if she's ask Frankie for advice. Alicia suggested a personal weather report for the week filled with all sorts of funny descriptions that basically summed up as "fucking cold". She had mulled that over but decided that she didn't want to give anything that might let him guess it was her. She had sent the scarf through the mail room for increased anonymity.

A squeak from the door hinge alerted Kara to the person entering the bathroom. She glanced up to the mirror and saw Frankie pass behind her to the next sink. Halsey moseyed after him and when he recognized her he immediately came and sat at her hip, tail wagging. He looked good in the matching neck cloth she had made for him.

Tugging her earphones out of her ears she mumbled a quick "Morning" around her toothbrush. Although it was 0830, she was headed to bed after the late night shift and her workout and didn't particularly feel like talking. but since he was kind of dating one of her best friends, she figured she should at least be friendly. She watched as he tossed a bag up on the ledge behind the sink and began rummaging around. "How come you have Halsey?"

Frankie started lining up bottles of shampoo and soap on the counter. "Loverboy's sleeping off a night watch and I gotta get Halsey ready to go back out around 10 with Dr. Trophet."

She glanced around quickly to be sure they were the only ones in there. She whispered, "Frankie! Don't be calling him things like that!" She thrust her toothpaste and toothbrush into her basket and forced herself to breath slowly and not panic. No one was there to hear. She knelt to give the dog a good ear scratching. Halsey sighed and leaned his head on her shoulder for more and she felt some of her tension ease away.

"I wish you two would just get over it!" He rummaged around in his bag and produced a comb and razor. "I'd bet you fifty bucks Georgie would tell you the same thing."

In her head she could hear Georgie's husky voice telling her "Eh, so what he's Navy. Turn off the lights and he can be whatever you want him to be." Kara couldn't help but chuckle softly. "Yeah, you're probably right."

"You know I'm right." He insisted. "I know you think she's too brash and opinionated and never takes anything seriously but at least she's honest about how she feels. Maybe we should all go out on a double date when we get back. You two could learn a thing or two." Kara closed her eyes and leaned back against the cool tile wall. Her damp hair pressed uncomfortably into her neck. She had thought Frankie and Georgie were just a fling but here he was, defending her friend to her like he really cared. Perhaps she had misjudged him.

She peered up at Frankie from under the sink. "I have to admit, I was surprised when you two kept seeing each other. I didn't even think you liked each other."

"We didn't Not when we were pretending to be such jerks. But Georgie is…" His voice trailed off for a minute. "Being with her is like going out for a walk on the beach after it storms. Everything is wild and beautiful. When she smiles at me, it's like being in the sun at noontime. It's so intense it hurts."

She looked up at his face and realized he was being completely sincere. "Why Franklin Benz, I had no idea you were such a romantic!" She felt happy for Georgie and bereft at the same time. Pretty soon she'd be the only single left in her circle of friends.

"Don't let it get around." He studied his flip flops. "Anyway, Dr. Scott's got us on doubles now."

"You poor thing. Are they making you work all day long?" She began to scratch the powerful muscles of Halsey's chest up underneath the neck cloth and he licked her ear in thanks.

Somewhere above her, Frankie snorted. "Awwww, don't worry about him. He loves it on the shore because he gets to run around. Anyhow, I've got to get moving. Come on dog." He grabbed a bunch of his stuff and headed for a shower stall. Halsey didn't follow. He just tipped his head back further so Kara could scratch beneath his chin.

"I don't understand why Halsey loves you and not me." Frankie eyed the dog suspiciously. "I've been with him since he was a puppy you know."

Kara repressed a grin but the twinkle was still in her eyes when she replied. "I have a way with dogs."

"Could be because you're a shirt thief. I gave him that for Christmas you know." He nodded toward the flannel Kara was wearing.

Ever since she'd gotten on the ship she'd thought of returning it to Danny for a final bit of closure. But she hadn't been able to bring herself to do it. Still, she wasn't ready to discuss the topic of Danny with Frankie. "You know that's not it. It's because he sees me as part of his pack."

"How am I not in the pack? I'm supposed to be number two after Danny. He pointed a thumb at his chest. "Maybe he's a racist dog. There are still some old school good ol' boys out there you know. It was in our EEO training." He grinned at her and she knew he didn't believe that one bit.

"Oh for crying out loud." She couldn't take it anymore. "He's not racist or sexist or anything else. And I certainly haven't taken your place. Can you resist bacon?"

"Bacon?" His brows lifted.

"Yeah, put some in your pocket. His sense of smell is so much stronger than ours, even if it's in a plastic bag, he'll know you've got it."

Frankie threw his head back and laughed. "Is that what you women do? Carry around bags of bacon hoping we won't be able to resist?" He shook his head as he left Halsey where he was and headed for a shower stall. "You know what? You're gonna be just fine Foster. It's all gonna work out just fine."

As she returned to her room and tucked herself into bed, Kara marveled at the fact that, of all people, Frankie Benz was the first who really made her feel better. She had no idea why, but somehow he just did.


	25. Chapter 25 - Dominick the Donkey

This song a Christmas staple where I grew up. I love it slightly more than Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer and slightly less than Walking in My Winter Underwear. Although now that I've moved to the south all my winter underwear is in storage so I probably need a new song.

**Dominick the Donkey, Lou Monte**

Frankie may have been able to help Kara stop feeling as angry with Danny but his comments didn't help her keep her thoughts regarding Danny in the friend zone. Whereas the first few weeks had rushed by with hardly any contact, now that they were working together on the drone, somehow she seemed to see him everywhere. When she was lifting weights he'd walk by and comment on her form and she'd lose count. When she was in the shower she'd hear him talking silly to the dog as he passed in the hallway. When she was trying to do her paperwork, there he was jogging by the window.

She really wanted to concentrate. Kara was ambitious. She wanted her own command one day and she knew that competition for command positions was fierce. Just on the Nathan James alone there were at least 10 people in various stages of being groomed for command. Look at the XO. He was an exemplary officer but he was still waiting for his own command. She wanted this training to go perfectly. By her reasoning, if her staff stood out for their performance, someone up the chain would remember her name later on. The combined stress of worrying over Danny and worrying over her job was keeping her up at night. She knew she was being a bear to people, but she could still hardly sleep. Part of her wanted to blame him for that, but she knew it was her own fault. If she could just stick to her own rules, and keep thinking of him as a friend or colleague only, this whole thing could be much easier.

It was Carlton who talked her into the Christmas in July festivities. "Come on Kara! You need to lighten up. I have never seen you so grouchy for so long. If I didn't think you'd slug me, I'd suggest the first thing you do when we get back to port is get laid, a lot! Besides, for once it actually feels like Christmas in July." She rewarded his efforts with a glare that should have frozen him on the spot.

Alisha agreed. "Girl, you need a vacation from your troubles. Come on, we can do a duet for karaoke. It will be fun. I'm making you go to all the activities. No arguing or backing out later."

"I'm already doing Secret Santa. Can you believe of all the people on this damn ship I picked Danny J for Jerkface Green from the stocking?" Kara crossed her arms over her chest and scowled.

"Yeah? Well, maybe it's a sign that calling him names is totally beneath you." Alisha added their names to every activity on the bulletin board.

Kara scoffed and glared at someone across the room. "It's not a sign. Frankie Benz was the one to hand off the stocking to me. I think it was rigged."

Alisha ignored her bitter words. "Come on little elf. We need to get in the Christmas spirit and rehearse."

And so, that was how she found herself at a table in the mess rubbing elbows with Danny as she applied green frosting to a crooked gingerbread man. And smiling at him when the CMC broke up a popcorn-stringing-turned-popcorn-throwing war and assigned them to sweep up the floor. And shaking her head in disbelief because of course, she drew his name out of the Secret Santa stocking.

After 7 weeks at sea, the pickings for gifts were slim. Many people traded for gift items. Candy bars, cigarettes, contraband booze, and hoarded snack food were all popular items. Playlists, humorous home videos, porn collections, books, self recorded books on tape, and movie libraries were also popular. A few people with talent made artwork. Alisha's Secret Santa sent her a design for a tattoo he said he could give her using a bic pen and first aid supplies. Frankie drew a soft core porn comic book as his gift and ironically drew CMC Jeter out of the stocking leaving him to scramble for something better. Chief Engineer Garnett knitted mittens but the only color yarn she had was pink. Bacon was later seen wearing them as oven mitts. Even Dr. Scott got in on it with a hand made arctic bird identification chart for Miller.

Kara's was initially glad that her Secret Santa had chosen to give her a playlist and not anything that could be construed as salacious. It was labeled "Music to row your own Christmas boat" so she thought it was supposed to be for working out. She loaded it on her iPod and took it to the gym for her daily session on the erg. To her surprise it turned out to be 80's pop music instead of Christmas, although for the most part it wasn't bad for working out either. Half an hour into her workout she realized that all the songs were mildly suggestive love songs. Another half hour later the idea that some people have another meaning for rowing your own boat struck her with horror. Especially because the only person she could think of that would send her love songs other than Danny was Gator and she was sure Danny hadn't sent it. Despite always running into each other, they had been nothing other than professionally friendly. Still, she loved 80s music and she had listened to it almost daily for the last two weeks.

Karaoke on ship was always a hit. On such a long bought of radio silence like this one an active trade in movies, books, and music always sprung up, and this trip was no exception. By now people were getting bored with movies and TV reruns. Live entertainment, and the sillier the better, lightened everyone's spirits and probably kept people out of mischief too. Commander Chandler, the XO, and CMC Jeter were generally very accommodating with things that improved morale so they helped shift schedules to maximize participation as well. Thus, over 2/3 of the crew were assembled for the karaoke event. Chung from Engineering had rigged a laptop and speakers and Mason was bumbling through as the MC. Kara groaned when Alisha told her they had been picked to go first.

"I can't believe you talked me into this. You could totally do it better yourself." To be honest, Kara couldn't sing a note so Alisha carried the tune while she'd filled in with gag lines. People had laughed, especially when she produced props such as a lightbulb and Monopoly board. She made herself look at Alisha throughout the performance to avoid searching the audience for Danny but she still heard his laughter above the crowd.

There was a fantastic rendition of Santa Baby by three enlisted guys in full drag. Kara had no idea how they managed to come up with heels that actually fit their male feet but the hilarity was worth it. One of the biggest laughs of the night was the Chief Engineer's completely off key Oh Holy Night which she supplanted with Star Trek lyrics and a fake Scottish accent. But the last act of the evening was the one that blew Kara away. First off, there was the costume. She wasn't sure what it was until the music started playing but she was sure that Danny was inside the duffel bag with paper eyes and large ears taped onto it. A tail, made out of pink yarn, was pinned to a backside that she recognized well. And of course, Halsey was sitting next to him, giving it away.

"I'd like to dedicate this song to my Secret Santa recipient." Said the unidentifiable animal creature. "Sorry about all the 80's music." He wasn't looking at her, but she felt like she had just been caught staring at his ass. Her cheeks burned and she glanced around because she was pretty sure…no, it had to be Gator. "I really do know that you like country music but, well, I'm from Connecticut so I just don't understand twang. But, 80's music makes me think of you so that's what you got." Recalling that they had met at an 80's night dance party, she realized that she should have known all along. For the past week she'd been worrying that she needed to have a very uncomfortable talk with Gator but it had been Danny! A strange mix of elation, relief, and dread overtook her.

"Then I got your present and it smelled so delicious." Oh good, he must be talking about someone else. There must be some mix up and he got two secret Santas somehow. Her present hadn't been scented. "Halsey has insisted on sleeping with his present too." She sunk lower in her seat. He couldn't possibly have known she gave him the scarf, could he? Practically everyone on the ship had a gray sweatshirt for crying out loud. She wondered what terribly revealing and embarrassing thing he was going to sing. She couldn't think what song hadn't been sung yet. "So, from the bottom of my heart, I apologize for being such an ass."

The first bars of the song began. Most of the crew looked confused, although a few were grinning. "Chiggedy Chig, He Haw He Haw, It's Dominick the Donkey…" She thought she knew all his voices, outgoing and confident when he was meeting someone for the first time, warm and playful with children who asked to pet the dog, soft and gentle when waking her up in the morning, husky with desire when taking her to bed. But holy shit, Danny Green's singing voice knocked her over like a punch to the midsection. "…The Italian Christmas donkey… She was stunned by the sound of it. She was also laughing and simultaneously silently cursing. On the second verse Halsey started following him around, kicking out his back legs in a donkey kick. She had to admit the man had wit.

Fuuuuuck! And he could sing. For crying out load. And he was making her wet, right there in the mess surrounded by her peers while he danced with a duffel bag on his head. God Damn it she was screwed. Because she knew she wanted him. And now she knew he wanted her back. Attractive she could resist. Sense of humor she could resist. Persistent she could stubbornly resist. Able to make her want him she could probably resist. But all of it together? The whole freaking package was going to make her break her rules. And for that she was excited, thrilled even, scared, and also a little pissed. Why did he have to be here, like this. Any other place and time would have been fine but he had to be the one place she couldn't lose focus…the one place it might matter.

As the festivities wound down and everyone headed back to a duty station or off to bed they played guessing games about whose Secret Santa was whom and so on. Kara kept her mouth shut and listened as the gossip swirled around her. She learned that there were a couple of ensigns crushing on Frankie, someone had gotten a candy bar that ended up having bugs in it, and someone else had given their Secret Santa a roll of their precious stash of quilted toilet paper. Danny confessed that he owed his singing to 13 years of choir at an all boys prep school. Kara had a vision of him singing angelically with messy blond hair, freckles, and giant front teeth. It was cute enough to make her ovaries practically twitch. Of course, Danny had to be one of the people walking aft toward the officers' staterooms. She felt overwhelmed by his presence but she had the kind of excited flutter in her stomach that she had gotten before her first race, her graduation and commissioning, and the first time she kissed him.

At one point they had to pass one by one down a ladder and he waited at the bottom for her. She wanted desperately to let him know that she saw their relationship as inevitable now, she just didn't yet know how to make it happen. Despite having 7 weeks to think about the consequences of giving in, she hadn't actually thought about what it would be like. Looking down at his face turned up toward her she had to fight the urge to jump off the ladder into his arms. She knew he could catch her. But wow, wouldn't that start the rumor mill. She was going to need more time to come to terms with what she now knew was going to happen. She needed to figure out how, when, where, what to say, everything. She didn't say anything to him and he looked slightly worried. But he put a hand on the small of her back and silently directed her to proceed in front of him. The feel of it was warm, strong, and sent a delicious shiver up her spine. When she reached her door she turned and saw that they were the only ones in the hallway. She wanted him but she wasn't the least bit sure how to make her move.

She was saved as Alisha opened the door. "For once we have the same five off, come on, I've invited Andrea Garnett, Maya, and that doctor science chic and we're having a spa hour and watching the episode where Zoe runs away from Wade and meets up with Jonah on the plane."

Danny pretended to be offended. "Why am I not invited to spa day? I have four sisters so I give a good pedi." Alisha waved Danny away. "No boys allowed, Ah Sir. You guys always mock everything we love in our shows."

"Come on, I promise to be mute." He pleaded teasingly. Halsey nudged her hand with his snout.

Behind her, Alisha was setting up a laptop on the bunk and over Danny's shoulder she could see Garnett coming out of her room. "Maybe another time." She said softly and backed up so Garnett could come in.

Danny nodded. "See you ladies later." And sauntered off to his own room.


	26. Chapter 26 - Tell It To My Heart

I've decided that Alisha is like that one friend everyone has in high school who is 16 going on 42. In summer of '94, 16 going on 42 and I went to the funeral of a teammate from Vermont together. There were tons and tons of people on the highway and we found out everyone was headed to the big Grateful Dead concert way the hell up north of Burlington. After the funeral we decided to spontaneously go have two days of total rebellion. In the process of communing at the county airport with 10,000 other crazy people, we had many deep conversations and spent a lot of time moaning about our lack of boyfriend success. He had this whole analogy about looking for love being like looking for a cat. When you actively look for it, it's no where to be found. But when you're not bothering it, you find it in your lap. (We may have been really high by then.) So anyhow, my Alisha is modeled after that guy because he was a pretty great friend.

**Tell It To My Heart, Taylor Dayne**

Danny and Halsey were jogging topside despite the frigid air. Even with the bright July sunlight, there was no warmth to the air today. Halsey loved it, which was why they jogged out here every day rather than in the gym, but today the air was cold enough that it burned in Danny's lungs and dried his mouth. Even the lukewarm water bottle he'd brought out for himself and the dog was turning cold. Despite the fact that he was heating up inside his parka, he knew better then to remove it. Still, he unzipped the neck a bit and set off once again. Halsey happily loped along beside him.

A door squeaked open somewhere behind him but he'd have to wait and see who it was when he looped around again. He ran through the possibilities in his mind. Berchem was on the ice with Burk, Cruz, and Dr. Scott. Frankie, and Smith should be sleeping. Could be Cossetti or one of the young guys he'd been inviting outside for weeks. He and Burk had singled a few out who were showing promise in their guided training, but so far Miller was the only one of them had shown the individual drive it took to be a SEAL and he was already part of Burk's tac team.

Two minutes later he was surprised to see a trim form standing at the rail, wrapped tightly in a parka with the hood shielding her from the wind. His already elevated pulse crept a notch higher until she turned and he saw that it was Alisha Granderson, not Kara. He chided himself. Of course it wasn't Kara. He knew she was likely at the small desk adjacent to the C.I.C. where she did her staff planning. It was one of the other reasons he tried to get out here daily, even when it was cold. He thought of it like that advertising rule he'd learned in a marketing class in college. Get your name in front of the customer as much as possible. He pulled up short at the rail and pulled his scarf off his face so he could talk.

"Come to enjoy the nice weather Lieutenant Granderson?" He had hardly had any contact with Alisha but he knew she and Kara were friends as well as roommates so he figured it didn't hurt his case to be friendly.

"Lieutenant Green, Admiral Halsey." She acknowledged them but didn't salute. He took that as a good sign. "I'm a southern girl so I don't exactly count this as nice weather." Still she smiled warmly at him. "Do you like it this cold or are you just out here for the dog?"

"Mostly the dog. People give him treats when they think I'm not looking and then he's got to run off the extra pounds." Even now Halsey was sniffing at Alisha's pockets.

"People like my roommate you mean?"

Out of the corner of his eye he could see she was watching his reaction and he wondered how much she knew. He vaguely remembered Kara waving to her as they left the bar that first night but he hadn't been sure if she recognized him. Deciding not to give anything away he replied. "She's the prime suspect, yes."

She shrugged as she dug one of her hands into the ruff of fur under the Nathan James scarf around his neck. "People miss their pets at home on a long cruise like this. I can certainly tell he's popular. He got a better secret Santa gift than most of the sailors."

He couldn't help but smile back at her light tone. He just might have an ally in Alisha Granderson after all. "Yeah. I'm not sure how I should take it honestly. I mean, I know he's more popular than I am, but he didn't even put his name in the stocking!" He feigned a frown but he couldn't hold it when she grinned back.

"I don't think my roommate, who grew up on a farm, felt inspired to sacrifice her warmest pajamas while in the arctic to keep just any old animal warm." Her reply was soft enough that he almost thought his brain made it up. When he took in her raised eyebrows and firmly pressed lips he realized that she not only recognized him, but was trying to reassure him.

And then he was hit with the realization that now at least two people on the ship knew the nature of their relationship for sure. Frankie he could trust, no questions asked. But he didn't know Alisha and he didn't know what, if anything Kara had told her. Tension gripped him like an iron band around his chest. He racked his brain for clues about her feelings regarding rules and fraternization. Alisha was younger than him, quite likely younger than Kara even. He had the impression she was a good officer and knew she had a reputation for her unflappable composure, but he had no idea if she would support him.

She must have recognized his panic because she continued in a level voice "Don't worry Green. Your secret is safe with me. As long as you treat her right I don't care."

He forced himself to relax. Perhaps she'd know what Kara was looking for. "I want to. That is, I will, if I can just figure out how to get her to let me back in."

She cocked her head to the side. "You know that expression about leading a horse to water?"

Confused, he asked "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Well, when the horse is thirsty they will lead you to the water."

He couldn't help it. He burst out laughing. "Did you just compare Lieutenant Foster to a horse?"

As an answer she simply gave the dog one final pat on the head. "Have patience Danny. The scarf was a sign she's trying to figure it out. So hang in there. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a hot cup of coffee somewhere with my name on it." She turned on her heel and swiftly made for the port side hatch.


	27. Chapter 27 - Spin Me Round

You know when you are on a diet but you really want a cupcake, so you mention cupcakes to your friend to get her to suggest you should have cupcakes for lunch, that way you can have one without feeling too guilty? Well Kara sucks at that game.

**Spin Me Round, Dead or Alive**

Ever since the Karaoke night Kara had been trying to work out how to best handle Danny for the rest of the cruise. In fact, she hadn't really been able to concentrate on anything else. She felt an urge to resolve this soon so she could get her focus back. She had come to the conclusion late the night before that there was only one solution that would give them both what they wanted and not jeopardize their careers. Danny was taking the drone on the island today. When he came back they would debrief its performance over coffee. That would mean they would be back in the P-way near their rooms in the middle of the five instead of the shift change. If all was clear she'd invite him into her room and they would discuss her terms. And she had finally decided what she wanted to do. They'd plan to see what happened after the mission was over and agree not to pursue other people. Also, they had to put in for separate assignments before they said anything to anyone or resumed the physical side of the relationship. She was pretty sure he'd agree.

At 1300 hours Dr. Scott and her crew left for the ice. Danny, Halsey, Frankie, and Smith accompanied the two scientists. As usual, they brought two snowmobiles, winter gear, food, communications equipment, weapons, and this time, the drone. Dr. Scott wanted to use the camera drone to cover more of the rugged terrain in her hunt for bird nesting sites.

Kara watched as their location transponders moved inland. At times they looked like they were moving almost vertically. "Heading to the site Dr. Scott wants to launch from. We'll update position in about 15 minutes." Frankie's voice was a little out of breath.

"Ok," This time it was Danny on the line. She tried her best not to show any reaction since Chung was sitting right behind her there were several people in the CIC waiting to see if it worked out. But, she couldn't help but lean forward in her chair at the sound of his voice. "Can you hear me Lieutenant Foster?"

"Loud and clear Green."

"We're at about 500 meters from where we were dropped, at about 30m above the water. We're going to launch the drone and travel vertically up the cliff face about 60 more meters. At the top I'm going to attempt to travel the edge but I'll need some feedback to know if I'm catching any good video. OK?"

"Sounds good. Let's check the feed now." She pulled up the UHF recording program and searched for the signal the way Mason had taught her.

She heard some shuffling in the background and suddenly her computer screen was filled with chaotic shots of the scenery. "Can you see now?" The camera was showing the steep descent behind them marred only by snowshoe tracks. The water glittered and washed out the image but the Nathan James was there as a tiny spec in the distance.

"Yep, nice scenery. Just let me know when you're ready to go."

Slattery sidled up behind them and she heard his quietly ask Chung "So this is it huh? Can the Navy help the crazy bird woman or do we look like fools?" He was joking, but she could tell he was nervous for them too.

"It's going to work great Sir." She sounded far more confident than she felt. They had worked hard on this, but she knew better than to expect it to go one hundred percent smoothly on the first try.

Dr. Scott began reviewing what she was looking for and giving Danny additional instructions and then it was time. "Ready Nathan James?"

"Recording started." She typed a few lines and the computer started a progress bar. She saw Danny's hand in the corner of the screen where he was giving Halsey the quiet command. A few seconds later the sound of the drone's whirring propellers began. Chung gave her a thumbs up which she answered with a victorious pump of her arm. Her pulse raced as the video image began to show movement.

They had practiced both flying and recording over the last few days so Kara was surprised that Danny's voice sounded just as nervous as she felt. "Lifting off. Turning to the cliff. Are you getting this Kara?" Fortunately, she seemed to be the only one who noticed he called her by her first name.

Dr. Scott cut in with a clipped "Lieutenant Foster, can you see the rocks and grasses clearly? Am I going to be able to see nests? I need you to let me know if you see anything like the egg pictures I showed you this morning."

"Yes, the auto-focus is keeping pace better than I expected. I suggest you begin moving upwards, Lieutenant Green, so you have time before the battery is exhausted." She forced herself to keep the addresses formal.

Slowly the drone rose and the elevated nooks and crannies of the rock came into view. She could hear Dr. Scott in the background giving directions to move left or right. Then suddenly she saw a little brown speckled egg, and then another. "There, go back to the left Danny!" She could hardly contain her excitement. "There were eggs, Dr. Scott." She didn't know why the scientists needed to find nesting grounds for these particular birds but she was getting caught up in the other woman's urgency. The eggs came back into view as he swung to the left. "There! There are 4 brown polka dotted eggs together in some grass and fluff in the cranny you're focused on now."

She could hear Dr. Scott and Dr. Trophet discussing something in the background and then they told Danny to continue upwards. After that there were several more nests and the travel along the top revealed even more.

"Ok, Lieutenant Green. I think we have what we need. Let's bring it down." Dr. Scott, who was usually quite reserved, sounded quite pleased as she and Dr. Trophet discussed which areas would be most promising for sampling.

After they stopped the video feed Kara gave Chung a happy grin and turned to face Slattery. "I think we should call it a success Sir."

He was leaning against the wall behind her desk looking quite relieved. "I don't know if I should thank you two more for helping the Navy look good or for doing something that might get that woman closer to ending this mission!" He grinned. "Bravo Zulu Lieutenants."

"Thank you Sir." Chung blushed but he stood a little taller than usual as well. Kara nodded and smiled. She felt very proud of their work but of course, she also knew Dr. Scott's happiness was only going to continue if they were the right eggs.

It was still over an hour before the team made it back to the ship. In the meantime Kara edited the video with stops to quickly jump to the nests and sent the video to Dr. Scott. As soon as the helo landed the XO sent her to meet the team and properly store the drone so she was in the bay when they tromped in.

Everyone's cheeks were red with cold but the scientists were talking animatedly and the SEALs were happy to be headed for warm quarters. Danny and Frankie were lifting the drone out of the helo door with the side arm hoist. Even in 5 layers of clothing he looked good to her. "Hey there are the engineers of this success now." Danny was all smiles that had her stomach turning in wild leaps. Still, she couldn't help but grin back at him like kid bringing home a good report card.

Dr. Scott thanked Kara profusely and was quite pleased that the video was ready to view. "If these are the right birds, Lieutenant Green, I'll need your help planning how to get to the top of that cliff."

"Yes, Ma'am, I will have one of my men get started on that right away." He turned to Kara. "Do we have high resolution topos of the area?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I think I can probably get you 5 foot vertical resolution of most features except the shoreline of course. Tomorrow I can set you, or whoever you want to do the routing, up to look at them.

Dr. Scott turned to Kara "You and Lieutenant Green make a great team. Thank you for the drone. You two may have shaved weeks off my research." Kara had never seen the woman so pleased. Come to think of it, she had never seen her anything other than uptight and worried.

"It's our pleasure, Ma'am" She replied, catching Danny's cheeky wink in her direction. She couldn't help but glow under Dr. Scott's compliment. "But don't forget about Chung. He was also instrumental in this project."

"I'll be sure to thank him when I see him." Kara had no doubt Dr. Scott would seek him out immediately. Rachel had come to watch TV after the karaoke night and she had asked them all many questions about their families back home. Kara recalled that she had cryptically said something like "Thank you for inviting me when I am the one keeping you from them. Do know, I highly value the sacrifices you are making to allow my research here." After that, her view of the woman had softened a bit. Clearly she was someone who valued human connection, even if she was holding herself separate from the crew.

Danny spread his hands wide to indicate the group. "Halsey and I are headed for some hot coffee. Care to join us?" The scientists declined saying they were eager to check the video and Frankie wisely headed somewhere else. Kara felt her butterflies return. She had made up her mind what to say and she was about to have the opportunity, but did she have the guts? She looked at the invitation in his face and felt it all the way to the pit of her stomach.

"Sure, I'll join you." The rest of the walk to the wardroom was spent talking about the drone and how to improve its handling but Kara only half listened. She was distracted by her thoughts and the many layers Danny was extracting himself from as they walked. By the time they got to the wardroom she had psyched herself up to do it, and he had an armful of various green and navy shirts. She hoped she wasn't going to make a fool of herself.

Being the middle of a watch, the wardroom was empty. As they poured their coffee's Halsey sat in front of the microwave and whined, glancing at Kara. Danny looked up from where he was pouring the cream in first his cup and then hers. His hand dwarfed the tiny pitcher. "He wants you to make him a cup of soup."

Kara wrinkled her nose. "A what?" She wasn't sure she had heard correctly.

"You know, that instant soup stuff? He always has one after being out in the cold. I'm supposed to give him warm water but he won't drink it if there are other options."

She grabbed one of the containers off the shelf and began filling it with water. "You mean to tell me he knows the soup is there? I'm impressed by how you train him but I don't believe a dog can read." Danny laughed as she gave the dog a dubious glance. "Are you sure you're supposed to have all this salt?" Halsey just cocked his head and followed her movements as she put it in the microwave.

"It's no worse than a Gatorade and dogs can't handle coffee." Something about his tone and the way he studied the sugar packets rather than look at her suddenly struck a chord. She realized he was just as nervous as he had been earlier when running the drone for Dr. Scott. She wondered if he was stalling because he was afraid she'd tell him it really was over, or if he was afraid he'd have to tell her he wasn't interested anymore.

She contemplated the possibility that he wasn't interested and dismissed it as she watched him kneel to unlace the booties from the dog's feet. She was appreciating the flexing muscles on his back as he reached in the lower cupboard to retrieve Halsey's bowl rather than paying attention to reaching into the microwave and she sloshed the hot soup onto her hand. "Owwwww." She yowled and quickly retracted her hand to cradle it against her midsection.

Danny was on his feet in an instant, reaching around her to grasp her wrist and pull her hand into the sink. He turned on the cold water and held her arm there while it rushed over, soothing the minor burn. "I'm so sorry, I should have warned you how hot they get." His voice was right in her ear and she was suddenly aware of the long line of heat where his body pressed hers into the counter. Her cheeks warmed to match her hand.

"It's my own fault for not looking at what I was doing." She leaned her head back on his chest for just a brief moment and then caught herself, jerking forward to turn off the water. "Hand me a dish towel?" He didn't let go of her wrist but he reached one long arm over her head to grab a clean towel off the shelf and hand it to her other hand.

When he still didn't release her she arched an eyebrow. "You can let go of me now." Reluctantly, they moved apart and she suddenly felt a tension that hadn't been there before. Trying to ignore it, she gathered some ice from the soda machine and wrapped it in the towel. As Danny poured the soup into Halsey's bowl and added an equal amount of water to cool it down, she gathered her coffee with her un-singed hand and sat at the table.

He joined her while the dog slurped and wagged his tail. "You can train him for anything, how about some manners?" Danny threw back his head and laughed and she couldn't help but admire the strong column of his throat. How she'd love to tuck her face in there again and…no, she reminded herself to keep those thoughts out of her head until they were back home again. If she was going to expect him to stick to the terms she planned on, she had better not be the one to break the rules.

After they cleaned and stowed their cups and Halsey's bowl he inquired about her hand. "Do you need to see Doc Rios? I'm really sorry." He said again. She unfolded the towel. There was a red mark on her hand but it didn't look like it would blister.

"No, a little more ice for the pain would help though." He wet the towel and filled it with ice again and she re-wrapped her hand. With a double check to be sure the door was closed she decided now was the time. The sooner she set the rules, the sooner they could be friends, not exes, or whatever they were now. She placed her towel wrapped hand on his arm and he immediately turned to look into her face. His surprise, that she would willingly touch him was evident. "I think, I," she almost chickened out. "It's time we talked." She waited for him to respond with her stomach churning. What if he said he was no longer interested? What if he laughed?

But he didn't laugh or turn away. He looked so stunned for a minute that she almost started to recant but then he grinned widely and a wave of relief swept over her. "It's about time." He leaned in closer. "Let's see if we can use one of our staterooms." He saw the look of disbelief on her face. "To talk Kara, to talk. Geez, get your mind out of the gutter!"

They made their way back toward the P-way that housed the mid-level staff staterooms. They didn't talk or in any way show that they were doing anything more than separately heading in the same direction, but she was acutely aware of his presence. As usual mid 5s, all the rooms were shut. Kara figured they had about an hour to talk before it got challenging to exit a room without being seen. "Alisha's the Comm on the bridge right now so..." She looked past him down the passageway. Yeah, like that wasn't suspicious at all! "Come in."

Danny and Halsey entered her room, which was relatively spacious compared to his. She was glad she kept it neat with her lockers shut and bed made. She sat on the bottom bunk and motioned for him to join her. He raised an eyebrow while she rolled an eye but quickly flipped the lock "So there's some warning if someone tries to come in." and sat at the far end of the bunk, facing her. When the mattress shifted under his weight she felt almost like she was going to be sea sick. Halsey made a quick circle and then sprawled out on the floor like he owned the place. She was fighting the urge to avoid eye contact. Damn this was hard. Had talking to him ever been hard before?

"So, what do you want to talk about?" She pulled herself together and looked him squarely in the eye. He looked nervous but there was also a hopeful look and…Damn, that was a mistake. She could see the hint of a smile crinkle his lids at the corners. Suddenly she felt overwhelmed by the scent, and size, and heat, and closeness of him. And darn it all if that didn't just make her ache with want. A blush rushed over her and she decided she'd better get on with it and then get him out of her space.

"I well, I, what I wanted to say was." Shit, Kara had never waffled like this before. She broke eye contact and looked at her hands, twisting the fingers of the uninjured one in the hem of her blue work pants.

He leaned forward to put a hand over hers. It was warm and strong, and she couldn't help but turn her wrist and link her fingers into his. It helped to feel his rapid pulse against hers and some of her tension evaporated. "Look at me Kara." She did. He was going to accept whatever she said. She could see it. He was a man of integrity and he trusted a woman to know her own mind. He respected her and her abilities. She knew that was just who he was now.

"I want to be friends." She blurted out. "Well, that's not exactly what I mean but it's true too." Once she started it finally came out in a rush. "I like you." The light in his eyes seemed a little brighter at that but she ignored the answering zing in her middle when she saw it. "I like who you are and I can see now that you didn't lie to me to be malicious any more than I did to you."

He nodded. "I have heard too many stories about girls who take advantage of career guys to instantly trust someone I hook up with." It hurt more than she expected to hear him describe her as just someone he hooked up with. But ultimately it was true, she reminded herself.

"I understand. I've been burned too." When he looked sorrowful she wondered what he had heard. "And I can't exactly say I'm sorry, either."

His calloused thumb rubbed over her wrist sending a delicate shiver up her arm. She needed to hurry before he broke through all her defenses. "Here is what I am prepared to offer." She sat up straighter and pulled her hand from his. She needed to be thinking clearly for this. "I think we are compatible."

He agreed in the low sexy voice that always got her thinking about the bedroom. "Very compatible."

"Yes, well that wasn't how I meant. Well, not entirely." She shot back at him. He was grinning now and leaning back against the wall very confidently.

"Here we are, sitting on a bed and you know what we're both thinking about." She gulped, he was thinking about that too? He must have seen her eyes dart away in embarrassment. "Oh yes, I am remembering what you feel like, what you taste like." His voice dropped a fraction lower and she felt like every nerve had suddenly tuned into the Danny channel. She was getting wet just looking at him damn it.

"That's all well and good." She sounded like a prim Mary Poppins to her own ears. "But that's not what we're talking about right now. Lieutenant Green." His chuckle tripped over her skin like the brush of grass in the fields at home. A tickle, but a soothing one. "I meant that we have similar lifestyles. We both spend a lot of time away from home. We both accept the hazard attached to our careers. We both like to travel and to work out. We have similar taste in music and movies and food. That's the kind of compatible I mean."

Danny looked confused. "So you want to start a book club with me?" Now it was her turn to laugh.

"No, I want to be friends, for now. I want you to agree that we can't really have the kind of relationship we had before while we're here on the ship. But, we can give that a try again when we get home."

His eyes narrowed his eyes on her and he said. "So, you want to be friends? No benefits?" She wondered what kind of counter argument he was forming because he didn't look like he was going along with the idea. Well, at least now she knew he still thought really were good together in that way too.

"Yes, well, just until we get back." She thought she had been pretty clear but maybe she needed to be more blunt. "I'm not willing to risk my career over mere lust, and you shouldn't risk it either. But once we get back, we can request separate assignments and then we can consider, uhm, a more intimate relationship." She ducked her head at the end. She knew exactly what he'd see if he saw her face because, right now, it was really hard not to pull him over to her side of the bed. Her insides clenched at the thought of the things she wanted to do with him again. Just saying the word "intimate" had her remembering some very personal moments for sure.

"So, what if I have a different opinion?" He looked a little angry. She had all but promised to pick up where they left off when they got back to Norfolk so she didn't see any reason to be angry. "First off, I don't want to be your friend." Her stomach dropped when he said that but really she wasn't looking for a friend either so she wasn't sure why it felt like a letdown. She just wanted a little physical companionship once they got home. When he leaned forward, bringing the warmth of his body near and finished the statement with "I want you too much for that." Her moment of panic subsided. "Secondly, we aren't really violating any serious rules." She nodded in agreement even though she could see where this was going now. "Neither of us has or is likely to have command over the other during this mission and our paths aren't even likely to cross again given that I rarely spend more than 2 or 3 days on a ship. Heck, this is the first time I've ever even had a stateroom." She nodded again, beginning to form another counter argument in her head. He was getting closer and closer now. Making it harder for her to think straight. "We don't have a significant rank difference either." He placed his big hands on her knees. His thumbs caressed the creases where her legs were folded under her. Even through the fabric of her pants, her skin began to come alive.

"Danny." She interrupted, placing her hands over his and lifting them away. She better stop him before she couldn't resist. "It doesn't matter. Non-fraternization rules exist for a reason. No, we should just wait. Besides, we're over half way done with the weapons training. Dr. Scott's work will have to end soon now that summer has peaked. I think we'll be heading home shortly. The anticipation will make it all the better."

His eyes narrowed. "Ha, you and I both know how often the fraternization rules get broken. As long as there is no aspect of abuse of authority, the punishment won't be more than a slap on the wrist. Christ, right now there are probably three or four couples going at it in closets or storerooms somewhere on this very ship."

"But none of them are going to be leaders like we are. Do you think that Slattery and Chandler got where they are now by fucking every cute sailor that crossed their path? No, we have a duty to put our personal needs aside and be above all that."

He was shaking his head and Kara was wondering where she went wrong in her argument. He pulled her arms wide, essentially pulling himself in closer. She offered no resistance but her heart began to pound. She had to tilt her head up to keep eye contact. Before she realized his intent he was leaning in, capturing her lips with his. A delicious shiver shot down her spine at the feel of him. He was warm and sweet and his lips commanded all her attention. Their tongues dueled in a hungry dance and for a moment she forgot that they were arguing. She longed to press closer but he was carefully holding her so their bodies wouldn't meet. He broke the kiss deliberately and as she tried to follow him with her lips, he continued to hold her off. "You are forgetting one important thing Kara. We are people, with needs, not little plastic soldiers. You want me as much as I want you and no rules are going to change that." He pulled her arms in against his sides and she instantly gripped his soft shirt in her fists, pulling even closer. He was so warm, it felt so wonderful, after 7 weeks of resisting, to press her chest against his. She swore her breasts swelled in size at the feel of his knuckles against them. She gave in just a little and she kissed him then at the curve of his jaw where the slight stubble of the day rasped under her lips. She heard his rushed exhale, felt it against her midsection. "You have needs Kara, and I know how to satisfy you." Oh yes, yes he did. Her panties were already soaking at the thought. She wanted him again so badly. It was as if the 7 weeks of practically no contact were instantly erased. All the muscle memory and reflexes they had built in those first two weeks returned with a joyous rush.

Abruptly, he released her and sat back. There was a challenge in his eye. "Want to change your mind?"

God she did. She wanted to push him over backwards, strip off that clinging tee shirt and the rest of his uniform so she could pull him into her until she felt him pulsing from the inside out. He was right. She had needs, and they were strong. "You are not making this easy." She ground out.

His look was smug. "I don't want to make this easy for you."

"The rules exist for a reason." Her mind was half screaming in protest. You will feel so good! It will be worth it! Just let yourself have him! But, she knew what she should do.

"No one is going to find out. We'll be careful. We can keep pretending we don't like each other if you want."

That brought her back to reality. "I have lots more time on a ship than you. On a ship, everyone is always in everyone else's business." There were very few secrets. When he had said there were at least three or four couples around she had known it was true. She had known it because names immediately popped into her head. Her nerves practically wept in sorrow when she sighed and pushed to her feet. Halsey scrambled to sit with his head pressed against her thigh and she absent mindedly stroked one of his ears.

She knew what she had to say. And she could see in his face that he did too. Regretfully, she almost wished he didn't understand. It would make it easier for her to dismiss his side if he was upset and angry. "I want a command eventually. I have to have a spotless record. You need the respect of your men. We can't accomplish those things if there are rumors about us." Her frustration sounded in her voice. "I can't be more than friends right now." She was saying the right thing but a big part of her really wanted him to argue back again. She knew she was only about three more of those searing kisses away from giving in completely. She couldn't help but feel a little discouraged that he didn't fight a little more for her.

He rose to his feet too. "Well, you know I disagree. Anything else I might do to change your mind would be just plain unfair." Unbidden images of his naked flesh beneath her fingertips came to mind. "I guess you know where to find me if you decide you can't wait…" He moved to the door. "…friend." The tone of his voice and smirk on his face were clearly mocking her now.

"Are you mocking me?" She couldn't help but smile back at his audacity. "You better go before I change my mind about Norfolk too." She checked outside the door, then opened it wide and shuffled him out. The fool blew her a kiss from the p-way before ambling off to his own room!

Closing the door behind him Kara reflected on the conversation and her feelings. He was right, she wanted him. But she was also right, it wasn't a good idea. It wouldn't be that long before they were back in port and then they could see where this thing went. She opened her closet locker to gather some clothes for the laundry. There was his picture, smiling and relaxed. She would think ahead, until they could be back at the beach, having fun and not worrying about anyone else. She could make it until then.


	28. Chapter 28 - True

I first met Annie in 1992. She was very shy but I was instantly in love with her peaceful face. She was an older woman, having already seen the world. I was a high-schooler just hoping to get a job as a lifeguard the next summer. Our first kiss was a sloppy affair. Her lips were smooth and a little cold. And they smelled of alcohol. Although it was all very unfamiliar to me, soon I was kneeling over her running my hands up her ribs, measuring with my clammy hands to find the special place where I was told I should press. She let out a bit of a squeak the first time, but after that we bounced along with breathy sighs. Sadly though, she made me share her with the rest of my life guarding class. We met up once a year for a refresher until one day she said she didn't need my kisses anymore. I hear she committed suicide in Paris. But that just creeps me out so I choose to just think of her as a nice lady who indirectly affected thousands of lives.

**True, Spandau Ballet**

CMC Jeter knocked softly on the executive office door to announce his arrival. Chandler was occupying the desk and Slattery and Barker were lounging on the small couch. "Good morning Tom, Mike" He nodded to Garnett and Barker.

They were hardly ever formal in private anymore. When Russ had come back to work, after his family's accident seven years ago, Chandler had been the XO. He had stood up for Russ while the former Commander tried to get him mothballed on account of his drinking problem. It had been one of many clashes between Tom and Commander Hurst. Hurst used to say he didn't care about people, he cared about results. And since Russ was newly sober, still at the point where everything was glaringly bright and the details he had let fade into the fog for too many years where overwhelming him, Hurst had dug into him like a vulture on a zebra. For two months the man had constantly picked and pried, pulled back the curtain, and revealed all of Russ's faults to the crew. But Chandler had defended him over and over.

At first, he had been so wrapped up in his own grief, he hadn't even known that he had a champion. Later that year, when Chandler was passed over for command the second time, the rumors pinpointed sticking up for Russ as the reason. But about a month later Tom had come to him with two resolutions that changed Russ's life. "Russ, you and I have something in common." He couldn't think of anything they had in common. Despite his recent holding pattern, Tom was on the fast track, known for good decisions and being an excellent role model. Russ appeared to have gotten to where he was by pure luck and stubbornness. "We both have not achieved our complete potential, possibly through our own self sabotage. I don't think there's anyone else on this ship that can understand what I'm going through other than you. I've been reflecting and I realize that two things are true."

Tom had looked him square in the eye and listed his leadership truths. "One, I cannot micromanage everyone else's career as a way to move mine forward. That strategy might have worked in small teams but it won't work for me now. I have to trust the people I work with and instead of harping on them. And I have to learn to inspire them to believe that the mission is worth their effort. And two, until this position, I always had someone I could trust to tell me when I was going down the wrong path. With Commander Hurst, I don't have that. He sees you and me and everyone else on this ship as replaceable cogs. But I think you and I would agree, people aren't interchangeable. People matter. It's why you were so good as the boarding teams leader and why you are still so good as the master chief now."

Russ had been stunned. In those days, he didn't feel worthy to be a seaman recruit swabbing the decks so when Chandler asked him "Can you please help me get better at this damn job?" he had said the first thing that came to mind.

"Yes." They had been honest with each other ever since. Which was why he had come to Chandler yesterday to tell him that he needed to do something to keep the crew from chewing their own tails off. After eight weeks of twiddling their thumbs with the same scenery and tasks every day, people were starting to get creative and Russ knew from experience, that's when trouble starts happening.

Tom surveyed the senior staff gathered in his office. "So, I hear the natives are getting restless. What ideas do we have for ways to make the most of our time? It seems we're unlikely to get out of MCON1 until the end of September and that leaves us with 8 weeks to get some benefit out of this crazy mission."

Slattery caught Russ's eye. "We've already run through almost every drill we know and Russ has had people reviewing their performance and practicing where they need to. Do you think we should run through them again?"

Russ considered it for a minute. The crew had done pretty well and he'd done mini drills where there had been deficiencies. "What if we do some of the more unusual drills and see how they do? Maybe a chemical hazard drill and a hostile boarding party drill?"

Chandler agreed. "Alright, you plan those out with Nishioka. Mike, Andrea?"

"Well there's always the PT…"

"No!" Garnett, Russ, and Barker stopped Slattery before he could even add it it to the list.

"Aw come on." Mike protested. "You're just sore because we lost. We don't have to do officers versus enlisted this time. What if we shake up the teams? We could do it round robin by age or years of service to really mix it up."

"Nope, I learned my lesson on that one. Four people ended up in the infirmary from and the amount of paperwork I had to do over that ensign who fell overboard during the running races was crippling."

Slattery shrugged "She learned her lesson. How about I'll do the paper…"

"No!" Chandler was more forceful. "Come up with something else. Maybe something less competitive and more training oriented."

They sat quietly for a minute. Chandler wrote a note about safety drills on a clipboard. Andrea scraped oily grit out from beneath her fingernails and then offered a suggestion with a loud sigh. "How about I do a full stop engine breakdown drill sometime next week? I've had all my people studying up but it would be nice to test them. We'll take one engine out of service at a time, break it apart, and put it back together."

Chandler added that to his list. "Ok, coordinate with Russ so that doesn't happen the same time as the other drills. Barker, I know the CIC is already studying up to complete these weapons tests, how about you organize something to get people out of their chairs, something more physical?"

Barker nodded. "We could have a little mileage/poundage contest for a week or so. And if you don't mind wasting a little ammo we could run some shooting drills. That always gets people fired up."

"Hey, that sounds a lot like the…"

"We're never, ever doing PT Olympics again Mike." Tom shook his head, exasperated. "But I like Barker's idea and for some reason they sent us up here to float around loaded to the gills with ammo. Get Green and Burk to organize the target practicing. I know this is a strangely over qualified crew in everything but lets just push people to work up one level from where ever they are. Once the helo crew and the kitchen get done with the food collection trip next week, have them join that group too."

There was another pause before Garnett spoke up again. "I hate to hog all the ideas but what about some mentoring activities? You know I have my Mentoring Monday's program in engineering, could we expand on that?"

Tom grinned. "Yes, that's the kind of non-competitive thing I'm thinking of. You know October is beginning of the year performance evaluation time. I want to come back into Norfolk with everyone up to date, even more over qualified, and chomping at the bit to move up." He pointed to Slattery "You like getting people out of their comfort zone. Tell Lieutenant Burk to help Andrea run the mentoring. We need to get him more comfortable with the people side of things. And let's make this mandatory."

Russ piped in again. "Doc Rios already asked to run CPR and first aid retraining. I'm making in mandatory for anyone enlisted who needs a recert in the next 90 days. Barker, can you pass it on to Nishioka so he can coordinate the officers that need it?."

"Got it. Everyone gets a hot date with Annie." Barker quipped.

"Well then, lets get out there and keep these kids too busy to make trouble." Tom herded them out of his office and breathed a sigh of relief. Eight weeks in and no major problems so far. Maybe he was finally getting the hang of this job.


	29. Chapter 29 - I Think We're Alone Now

**I Think We're Alone Now, Tiffany**

It was the first week of August, 5 days since Kara had proposed her terms, and Danny was already counting down the days until they arrived back in Norfolk. He was expecting no more than 63 days left and if it was a day more, he might just commandeer a rhib and kidnap Kara. It was nice, to openly chat with her in social situations, but it was killing him too. As much as he thought trying to be friends was pointless when he knew they both wanted something else, he couldn't risk pissing her off so much that she closed him out again. So instead, he was biding his time until he could remind her of ALL the ways they were compatible.

She was everywhere all of a sudden, which suited him fine, except of course that they were never in private. She said hi to him at the gym every morning and she sat closer to the middle of the table at breakfast so they could actually talk. She must have changed her routine in the CIC too because now she came down to take the readings from the weather instruments while he was running. The other day he'd seen her standing there with her clipboard, a pencil behind her ear and sunglasses pulled down her nose so she could read the fine print on the barometer. He'd taken advantage of her concentration to sneak up behind her and whisper "Yesterday's forecast didn't say anything about how hot you'd be today." That had earned him a disapproving finger wag which only had him thinking she'd make one badass librarian, and made it harder to keep running.

He found himself scoping out locations for a quick assignation all over the place. There was a little closet under the ladder that led up to the CIC. Between the hours of midnight and 0400 the storage rooms around the kitchen were a pretty safe bet. The armory was also a good spot when the other team was out on the ice. He and Smith had passed her in the self service laundry area the other evening. He looked in the door and recognized her backside, bent to reach in the back of the cavernous dryer for something. Instantly he remembered making fun of her for using a step stool to reach the back of the machine at her apartment. Even worse, he recalled how adorable she'd looked after, sitting on top wearing only the pair of socks she'd rescued. But with Smith there he'd had to just pass by. Too bad because he would have really liked to revisit that memory. Basically he was torturing himself because deep down he knew that unless she came to him of her own will, he'd ruin her trust. Eight weeks, he could wait out eight weeks.

Regardless of his resolve, he was getting impatient. Tonight, he was enduring an action film about a ridiculously fake earthquake in a room full of cranky people, just so he could sit next to her in a hard plastic chair. He kept reminding himself of the old training slogan "slow is smooth and smooth is fast" but of course he couldn't help but follow it up with Vince's trademark add-on "too slow is dead". So right now, Danny was sitting here watching Dwayne Johnson pretend to be a superhero guy. In 20 minutes, when the movie was over, he was going to maneuver Lieutenant Foster into a corner somewhere and make sure things weren't going too slow. He closed his eyes and thought about the route between here and their rooms. Hmmm, not many good places to duck away. Maybe he could convince her to go via the decks? There was a good corner midships under the weather deck. He could keep her warm enough for a few minutes.

Kara shifted in her seat and leaned against the chair back where his arm was casually draped. Just like taking a date to a movie in middle school, the back row still had benefits. He lightly twisted his fingers in a hank of her ponytail and felt the silky strands slip over his fingers. She huffed quietly but she didn't try to stop him. After a few minutes he grew bolder and slipped his fingers underneath the heavy weight of her hair to lightly massage the nape of her neck. She gave him a side eyed glance but he could see the corners of her mouth were turned up. Good. He wanted her to remember what it was like. He pressed a little more firmly on the tendons at the base of her neck and she closed her eyes and hung her head a little. He felt a surge of triumph as he gently slipped his fingers along her scalp.

The final scene drew to a close and he was forced to retract his arm. Kara rose from her seat, blinking as the lights were turned up, and seemed to ignore him as she slowly shuffled forward with the rest. The crowd of people erupted into comments over the credit music. "That was so unrealistic." scoffed O'Connor. "If The Rock blew off his job like that in real life, he might get the girl for like 20 seconds, but as soon as he was fired he'd be back in the doghouse." O'Connor, Mason, and Miller were walking at the tail end of a group in front of them; Kara and Maya were between; and for now, he and Halsey were tailing. Danny gave a little whistle and head tilt and put Halsey to work.

"That's not the point." Maya defended the movie. "The point was that he came back for his wife when the boyfriend was a total coward, panicked, and probably died a terrible death. What girl wouldn't love that kind of fidelity?"

Danny was surprised when Kara seized on that. Especially considering that she and Maya usually gushed over heroes together. "No, no, that's not it either. It's that he risked everything to save their child. That's what wins her back. She wouldn't have forgiven him he'd saved her and let the girl die."

As they passed out into the P-way, Maya ceded the point. "I suppose so. But.." Then she leaned closer to Kara and Danny couldn't hear what she said. Whatever it was made Kara blush and smother a giggle behind her hand though.

"Oh come on ladies, there's no secrets here." O'Connor spread his hands wide to indicate the entire group.

Maya shook her head. "Can't repeat it O'Connor. I did pay attention during harassment training. You're going to have to figure out the hero stuff yourself." Halsey nosed up between Maya and Kara and gently began steering Kara toward the right side of the passageway.

"Hey, you know I'm not here to be a hero. I'm a three and out kind of guy. I just needed an excuse to move away from Des Moines. You ever been to Des Moines Maya? It's worth moving away from." O'Connor winked at Maya and they continued to banter. They were nearing the ladder that would take them up to the weather deck. Halsey had done his job and now stood between Kara and the rest of the group so that the ladder was directly in front of her.

"I'd love to hear all about the charms of Des Moines, but I gotta take the Admiral out before we hit our racks." Danny took a step toward the ladder and saw Kara's face turn suspicious when she realized she'd been steered right to it.

"Uh, yeah, Since I'm over here I might as well take a look at my gear on deck and save myself the trip later." Kara's cheeks were tinged pink. "See you guys later." She didn't look at him but instead began marching up the stairs. Halsey proceeded, still thinking he was in herding mode and Danny brought up the rear. He was relieved to hear Maya and O'Connor return to discussing Iowa scenery as they continued down the P-way. Good, they weren't the least bit suspicious.

"So now I'm dying to know what Maya said." He wanted to keep her talking, not give her a chance to get hung up what they should and should not be doing.

"Um, it was something about letting The Rock in her cockpit?"

They emerged laughing out the hatch into a blast of chill air. It was 10 PM and the sky seemed stuck in a permanent overcast sunset. If it wasn't probably about forty degrees with a damp wind making it feel cooler, there might have been a few people out to take in the delicate lavender and peach streaks that melded the clouds and ice along the horizon. In the dim light he watched Kara's hips switching back and forth with her swift pace as she headed toward the alcove he had in mind. When she reached the spot she spun on him. "What are you thinking luring me out here this way? I know it wasn't just to get me to tell you Maya's dirty comment."

He couldn't help but grin at her. So, she had realized what he was doing after all. He stepped forward and she stepped back. "Why does Halsey know how to herd anyways?" The dog in question was sitting at his heel now, tail thumping against the deck.

Danny advanced another step and she found herself with her back against the wall of the ship. "Crowd control, sheep, pretty much the same skills really. It's good for separating targets in crowded spaces. And it keeps him from getting bored." He advanced another half step and she began to look flustered. He was close enough that she had to tilt her head up to keep eye contact. He made a hand signal to the dog half behind him.

Already suspicious, she questioned him as he brought either hand up beside her shoulders, effectively trapping her between his body and the wall. "What did you tell him to do now?" Her voice was a little breathy and he knew it wasn't from a few stairs.

"Told him to keep watch. There is no view of this corner from anywhere except the water but he'll let me know if someone is coming." She hadn't put up any resistance, which was better than he had expected, but he was still wary. He inched forward and she tilted her chin up a fraction more. When her shell pink tongue darted out to lick her lips nervously, desire slammed into him hard and he had to fight himself not to devour her immediately.

"What do we need a watch for?" It was the slight tilt of the corners of her mouth that let him know he had her.

"For this." He leaned in to capture her lips and unlike the last time, she opened beneath him easily. Her hands curled into his shirt and pulled him closer and they melded together from shoulder to hip. God it felt so good. She was warm and soft and when her hips cradled him that way, his eyes just about rolled back into his head.

When they finally broke apart, both of them were breathing heavily. He rested his head against the cool metal of the ship above her shoulder and groaned softly. "You're killing me Kara."

"Yeah, this is a really bad idea." She agreed as she pressed kisses along the column of his neck. "We should really stop this before we get caught." She nosed into the collar of his shirt and bit lightly on his collarbone, licking it to soothe the skin afterward.

He leaned back to jerk a thumb at the dog. "Are you doubting his abilities?"

With a large sigh, she pushed him back a fraction of an inch. He felt the loss of her heat immediately as she took a peek under his arm at the dog. "Your brilliant watchdog is currently licking his own genitals without a care in the world." She was laughing though and relief flooded him at the sound. If she wasn't angry at him for this, there was hope yet. She tilted her face up to his and he felt so much joy to have her smiling for him again. "But, you're not playing by the rules." She teased him.

"Did we have a rule about this? I don't remember that." He cupped her face with his hands to hold her in place for another kiss. He told himself it was just one more for tonight, but even as he thought it he wasn't sure he could be that disciplined. Just the feel of her cheeks under his thumbs was electrifying.

Practically panting, she gave him a light slap on the shoulder and he knew he'd better not press his luck any farther. With a sigh, he stepped back as she pushed herself away from the wall. "Yes, not until we're back home!" In the late twilight she was damn beautiful. Her pony tail was mussed and the delicate blush from before had been replaced with a bright red flush that extended down her shirt collar. She looked like a woman who had been well and thoroughly kissed and he felt a note of satisfaction that he had been the one to put that twinkle in her eye and make her chest heave. He reached out to straighten her pony tail but she brushed his hands away, reaching up to adjust it herself. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Just committing your look to memory, you know, for later." He winked.

"You don't play fair, do you?"

It was his turn to laugh now. In his best imitation of Vince he said "If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying hard enough."

But the moment was over and Kara was already sidling away down the narrow deck. "Where are you going?" He reached a hand out to her but she just shook her head.

"Go enjoy your mental image. I need a cold shower before my watch starts."

She gave him a final peck on the cheek and sauntered away but he wasn't disappointed. This was the Kara he'd been missing and he was thrilled to have her back. Humming under his breath, he began to run through tomorrow's schedule in his head to see what opportunities he could create for himself then.


	30. Chapter 30 - I Would Die 4 U

Boyscouts, where to begin? My husband was an Eagle scout and he pulls out the be prepared motto whenever he wants to buy some expensive tool or thing we really could only need in an extreme situation. On our first date he got me flowers and I put them in a jar because I didn't have a vase. The date was OK but I didn't think there was going to be another. The next day however he went to the thrift store and bought me a vase. That was 17 years ago and I still have both him and the vase, and a shed full of top of the line tools. Mamas, watch your girls around boyscouts. I'm pretty sure they are learning things that are not in the handbook.

**I Would Die 4 U, Prince**

Kara looked around the mess. There were about 40 people, a mix of officers and enlisted, scattered around the tables. The ratings were an odd jumble of ship's services, boarding and shore parties, and CIC. She double checked the paper in her hand and the clock on the wall. Yes, this was her Mentoring Monday assignment, teatime. The CIC group from the brunch time had said they enjoyed the activity, but she wasn't so sure what to think yet. As she passed by Burk and Danny's teams Frankie called out to her. "Hey pretty lady, come sit with us. We don't have any girls and the CIC has three already."

A little further down Lieutenant Commander Barker was sitting at a lunch table with Nishioka and a few others from the CIC and also waving her in their direction. The way people were sitting with their work groups reminded her of a middle school lunchroom. "Sorry Benz, I'd think I'd better sit by my boss. But don't worry, I hear this is sort of like speed dating so maybe you can pick up a few tips." She was careful not to make eye contact with Danny as she passed.

Behind her she heard Cruz razzing Frankie. "Ooooh, burned by the Ice Queen!"

She was surprised to see Carlton get up and begin introducing the activity. She knew he was uncomfortable with addressing large groups but he was doing OK. He described the way the speed mentoring would work. Each person would get a card that they could write a question they wish they could ask a mentor. Then they would all put them in a bucket to be drawn anonymously. They would be randomly partnered and the partners would change between questions. After a quick exercise to homogenize the group Kara found herself sitting across the table from Senior Chief Engineer Lynn. Although they had both been on the Nathan James for several years, she was embarrassed to realize she hardly knew him. The first question was an easy one. "What advice would you give the person across from you if you were to suddenly switch jobs?"

Lynn smiled and slid his glasses down from atop steel gray hair. "You know I started in the CIC?" Kara hadn't known that. He looked to be in his mid-forties and his hands and coveralls were grease stained.

"Really? You didn't like it? How come you're in engineering now?"

"Well, way back, when you were probably a baby, I left and went to school. Got a job as a sanitation engineer in my hometown, started a family, all that jazz. Then when I divorced I wanted to leave town and since I was still under thirty I figured why not? I had been happier at sea than I was at home. So I came back and I've been here another 18 years. Gonna retire when my slip comes up and spend the rest of my days fishing."

Kara thought of Vince, starting a business and probably keeping just as busy in retirement as he did before. "I hear on a boat there's always something to fix."

Lynn rocked back with a deep belly laugh. "You've got my ticket right there. I don't have the temperament to sit around twiddling my thumbs." He scratched his ear. "Now, as for advice to be a Senior Chief Engineer…I'd say if you don't know how to fix what's broke, go back to the basics and work your way up from there."

She pondered that for a minute and realized there was more depth to his words than at first you might assume. "I like that. Mind if I write it down?" He nodded and she quickly made a note in her phone.

"Alright Lieutenant, what wisdom do you have for me?" Kara drew a blank at first but then she remembered something Barker's predecessor had told her when she was just an ensign. "Time spent getting to know your colleagues, how they work, how they think, is never wasted."

Carlton blew a whistle and they rose. "I like it Foster. I think you've got potential. Don't forget to get to know your colleagues in all areas of the ship too."

Everyone shuffled to the right and Kara found herself facing Seaman Miller. "Hey Miller, I hear from Burk and Green you're doing great with the new PT regimen. I guess they think you got potential."

The redhead straightened up from his customary slouch. "Really? No matter what I do, Lieutenant Burk just frowns at me and tells me to do it again." Kara smiled. She sometimes wondered if Burk had an imaginary CO in his head that did the same for him.

Kara glanced up and caught Burk frowning in their general direction so she frowned back. The man could stand to lighten up a bit. "Next question." He announced. "Why did you join the Navy?"

Miller looked a little worried so Kara took pity on him and gave her answer first. Although he always said it was to afford art school, everyone knew his grandfather put him in the Navy to dry him out. "I actually planned to join the NOAA Commissioned Officer Corps when I started at the Academy, but by the end I was hooked on shipboard life so here I am…And there are few thrills better than seeing a splash over the horizon as you hit a target with a missile you launched."

He laughed and glanced toward Burk at the front of the room. "Burk tells me you're the best shot on the ship. Is that true? I don't hit too many targets beyond 100 meters yet. It's another thing I need more practice with."

Kara shook her head. "Don't take any crap for Burk. He can't hit the broad side of a barn. After about 250 meters you need to use spotting techniques. You can't just point and shoot anymore."

"And you know that stuff?"

"Yep. My dad was a Marine. He taught me and my brother. Although I switched to self spotting here in the Navy. We're supposedly being assigned some target shooting next week. If we can convince Chandler to let us float a target, I can teach you a few things."

Over the next 45 minutes Kara heard what PO3 Smith thought he'd do better than his commanding officer. "Uh he's got a habit of putting his foot in his mouth. I would be better at the politics side of things." And she found out that Lieutenant JG Minton thought the worst decision the Navy had made in his time was going to the blueberry uniforms. "Do you know how hard it is to spot someone in the water in those things?" An overconfident seaman 1st class from ship services told her she was wrong about coffee, the worst thing to run out of on a ship was toilet paper. He was so entrenched in his position that he continued to berate her idea even after Burk blew the whistle. "You women always think food is the number one thing. If you'd ever had to rough it you'd know that food is way down on the list."

A leathery nose wedged into her hand and she looked up in time to see Danny stare down at the younger man. "I think you're in my seat." The younger man stumbled to his feet. "Ah yeah, sorry sir."

"Well, thank Lieutenant Foster for sharing her years of experience with you and be on your way." The young man turned red and stammered out a thank you as Danny folded himself into the chair opposite her.

She dug in her pocket for a cracker she had saved from lunch. "Really Lieutenant?" She mocked the way he'd emphasized her rank. "I wouldn't have made it this far if I didn't know better than to pay any attention to full-of-themselves kids like that. He might always be an arrogant jerk, but he'll probably mellow out in a few years"

Danny shrugged. "It's my duty as a former cocky idiot to give him a nudge." She felt a wet tongue lap the cracker out of her hand and cringed when a crunching was heard from under the table. "You know better than to give him chicken with bones in it, right?" Danny frowned and glanced under the table where Halsey way licking crumbs off her hand.

"Do you think I've had a chicken wing in my pocket since lunch on the off chance that I might run into you two?"

Danny leaned forward and lowered his voice. "I don't know. I haven't been in your pocket recently." He smirked across the table at her.

"Danny! Knock it off." She gave him a pointed glare but she also felt an unwelcome dampness at her core. "Apparently you're still a cocky idiot." At least he was a persistent one, she thought as she felt her blush go up to her hairline.

"Alright, next question comes from someone in the CIC. Uh..." Burk trailed off, clearly unsure if he wanted to read the question out loud. He looked like he was going to drop the card back in the bucket but the group was pretty antsy at this point and a chorus of "Read it. Come on. We can't wait all day." rose up around the room.

"Ok, Ok." Carlton cleared his throat. "Do you think the U.S. should change to a policy like they have in India and other countries, where higher ranked personnel can serve in the same unit as their spouse and/or bring their civilian spouse to live on board with them?" Carlton sighed and put the card down, but he was giving Gator the evil eye.

Across the table Danny grinned. "Wow Foster, I knew you had a crush on me but that might be taking things a little fast."

She would have kicked him under the table but the dog was in the way so she rolled her eyes instead. "Get real. Mine was the gun versus knife question."

"You asked the gun versus knife one? OK then, I have to know which would you rather have, gun or knife?"

She smirked. "Oh I'd definitely pick the gun. I could hold someone off a long time if I had too."

"Yeah, I've noticed." He muttered under his breath. There was a bit of a pause and Kara began panicking. Around them she could hear responses to the current question ranging from a rowdy "Heck yeah. I'd be far more motivated if we had some more hot women around here." to "Are you crazy?"

"Soooooo, which did you pick?" She asked, shifting uncomfortably in her seat as someone behind her made a crude joke about only having room to share a wife in the crowded junior officer staterooms. Danny was studiously ignoring the comments around them too. "I figured it was a trick question. I never go anywhere without at least one blade, but if I'm working, I have a gun on me too."

She seized the opportunity to keep this line of conversation going rather than discuss Gator's question. "Really? What about when you're jogging? Jogging off the ship I mean."

He nodded. "At least three with me then. Heck, I have um..." He patted his nametag, chest pocket, sleeve patch and mentally counted "6 cutting tools, two guns, 8 zipties, and a lock picking set right now."

She looked him up and down and then lowered her voice. "I know for a fact you don't hide a knife in your gym socks." Yeah, she knew for a fact there hadn't been anything in his short's pockets or otherwise concealed on when they went jogging.

"Are you doubting me? Anytime you want to play hide and seek and be proven wrong, I'm game."

"Nice try."

The young seaman from before made no disguise of the fact he was referring to Kara when he said to the guy across from him. "If they could look like that one but not be such a bitch I might go for it."

Calmly ignoring him, Danny slipped his cell from his pocket and placed it on the table between them. Kara leaned forward, curious what he was trying to show her. "What, is it a Swiss Army cell phone? When did Q switch to our side of the pond?" She asked. With a practiced move he slipped a fingernail under the back cover and opened the battery compartment. He lifted a brow in silent challenge as he slid the phone across to her. There, shining with a dull metallic luster against the black matte plastic was a small razor blade. "I'll work with whatever's available if I have to, but at least in this area, my boyscout reputation is well founded."

Kara sat back against her seat. "Well prepared?"

"Of course, always. And loyal and trustworthy and kind too."

"Obedient?"

"Nah, that's Halsey's job."

She couldn't help but grin as she reached under the table and scratched the dog under his chin. "You don't have to carry a weapon, do you boy?" Halsey scooted to his feet to put his head in her lap.

"He is a weapon, he doesn't need one." Danny commented dryly. "But if you ever need it, there's a ceramic blade under that name tag on his collar and that ridge of stitching down one side is actually a high tensile wire that slides out one end. "You never know." The whistle blew and they stood to shift seats again. Kara was relieved they had managed to stall long enough to skip Gator's uncomfortable question. "Bring me your phone later and I'll set it up. It will be my daily good turn." Kara was about to protest when he stopped her with a nod over his shoulder toward the smartalec seaman whom he had displaced earlier. "Just let me worry a little less, ok?"

She and "the weapon" moved to another seat and the activity continued. When Danny came to collect his dog after the activity, she let him take her phone. And when he returned it to her at the gym the next morning, it did indeed have the promised new feature.

She nearly tripped on the treadmill when she discovered a second alteration. Sometime last night he'd also managed to record himself covering George Michael's Kissing a Fool and added it to her playlist. She stopped with one foot on either side of the belt and closed her eyes, letting his voice slide over her while she panted and trued to recover. It was good, really good.

"Geez Kara, your face is very red. I know you want to win Barker's marathon week challenge but maybe you should take a water break?" Burk called across from where he was spotting Danny on the incline bench.

"Better yet, maybe you should hit the shower?" Danny looked like he was trying not to laugh but she saw the heavy bar shake in his hands. She gave the fool a one finger salute as she escaped to the privacy of her room to enjoy it all over again.


	31. Chapter 31 - 99 Red Balloons

So sorry for not responding to all the recent reviews. I do really appreciate them. I've been just barely able to squeeze in any writing time the last few days as my dearest husband was home for a whole 72 hours so I wanted to make the most of it..ie leave him with the kids and get all the shopping and chores done…and pick his brain for info on guns and shooting. I know next to nothing about guns and DH was on the rifle team in high school and college. Plus, after 17 years my father finally took him skeet shooting with his buddies and they both came home alive….so he must be at least semi-knowledgeable. However, after I started pumping him for info, he threatened to turn me in to my father for my ignorance (Apparently they have finally bonded, yay!). So I hereby declare all inaccuracies in this chapter due to my faulty intel and absolve myself of all expectations of a realistic story. Enjoy!

**99 Red Balloons, Nena**

Tom marched through empty passageways on his way to the deck for the final day of firearms practice. He was pleased to note that except for a skeleton crew and a few people sleeping, most were on deck. They still had almost seven weeks left and Tom wasn't sure what they were going to do to keep people out of mischief. He'd told Burk and Green to drag the shooting contest out over as many days as they could. He had been thrilled when they had turned it into an instructional event. Each department had an hour a day of training with members of the special teams for a week. Plus, they had already held mini competitions within their groups to determine the top enlisted and officer to put forward for the final competition today. If this went well he might have to consider letting Mike hold his damn PT Olympics, but with some serious caveats to prevent a repeat of last time.

He had to fight to keep a smile off his face and keep his commander persona on as he strode out onto the deck. Foster had delivered her daily weather forecast with her usual calm demeanor but even she hadn't been able to resist adding "Great day for the shooting match, Sir". It was indeed a good day for this. The weather had warmed steadily since they arrived in June and by now the middle of the days were in the fifties, usually with a piercing blue sky. A brisk wind had been kicking up whitecaps all week which sailors had been using for target practice, leading to high spirits.

The trash talking had grown to enormous proportions over the course of the week. The best part was that some of the top scores so far had come from unexpected places. Right now, a cook by the name of Filmore was razzing a machinery repair man saying "You know why I'm going to beat you? Because my job requires precision with the hands instead of brute force." And a seaman from ship's services was getting in Miller's head, reminding him that "I heard you were taking tips from a girl the other day. I'm coming for you boy." The only group not getting in on the trash taking were the special teams themselves. Burk and Green were too busy making sure everything was set up and a system was in place to monitor weapons and ammo. Even Miller was taking note of their professionalism and not giving in to the urge. Tom caught the proud smile Green directed at Miller when he ignored the seaman with a shrug muttering "Let's just wait for the scores to decide."

He had to admit, when Admiral Green had called and said they were placing his son's SEAL team on the Nathan James to assist Dr. Scott, Tom had been a little affronted. Their permanent VBSS team was quite good and he thought they could handle shuttling the bird woman around just fine. But, when he went to the brass in the Atlantic Fleet they had been very insistent as well. Green had been a bit of a wildcard. Chandler's connections in Little Creek had good things to say about him but everyone also agreed he could be way too demanding on both himself and his team. Given that the Nathan James already had Burk, who Tom considered a solid officer, but who also held himself to exacting standards and sometimes got a little caught up in being the best, Tom had been a little worried that Green and Burk would have a bit of an ego clash. So far though, they had meshed very well and he was pleased that everyone on the ship would benefit from their teamwork. He made a mental note to confer with Slattery and Jeter for another idea of a joint project they could be assigned.

He'd recalled two of the most serious men on the ship, Doc Rios and Jeter, going at it at dinner the other night "Yo momma came to see me last week for a knee injury."

Jeter had grinned. "Oh yeah, why?"

"She asked me where her heart was cause she was gonna off herself. I told her it was under her left breast." Given that this event had gotten two grown me to dissolve in fits of giggles, Tom considered it a success already.

He surveyed the 35 remaining competitors assembled on deck. Most of them were the people he would expect. Except, Barker was standing over with the remaining officers and Foster was with several friends on the catwalk above, scowling. He strolled over to the edge of the officer's group. Burk was the first to notice him. "Are you going to represent Command in the competition sir? Master Chief is taking that spot on the enlisted side." Burk tilted his chin to indicate where Jeter, Cruz, Miller, and several others were standing on the port side of the deck.

"I am." He gave a nod toward the catwalk. "What's up with Foster? I thought she was done being the wicked witch?"

Burk shrugged. "Politics are a bitch Sir. The CIC voted instead of going by the practice scores. The group that trained with Barker had more people than the group that trained with Foster." Burk's expression was guarded when he added "I don't want to say Barker did it on purpose, but we both know he couldn't beat her." Burk paused and squinted up at the catwalk. "We could invite her to compete anyway."

Chandler didn't respond to that initially. He was still considering the ramifications. If they kept her out they would still have achieved his goal of keeping people busy while they circled the carpool lane for that bird woman. Every time he thought about it for more than a few minutes he caught himself questioning the whole thing. He was sure there was more to the weapons training than he had been told, but it was a juggernaut he just couldn't untie. He glanced over where Barker was pantomiming something as he explained a shooting technique point. For some reason it grated on his nerves that three young men from the CIC were hanging on every word. "Do we still have that old M40 in the armory and some practice rounds for it?"

Burk swung his hooded eyes back down from the catwalk. "Ah, yes Sir? We didn't get it out for the competition given that the longest distance we set up for was 150 yards. And besides, Cruz and Jeter are the only ones officially authorized for it."

A predatory grin split Chandler's face. "I don't see any SPs around here waiting to write us up. Think we can move a target float in under ten minutes?"

He saw when Burk got the idea as he suddenly glanced up to Kara again and then back to Tom. "I am sure we can Sir." He was grinning now too.

"Alright, get a couple of those guys on it." Tom pointed toward the men bringing weapons and ammo up from the armory. Chandler turned to the group of shooters waiting for instructions. He double checked but yes, as he suspected, food services had not sent an officer. Striding over to their sole representative he asked "You guys down a person?"

"Yes Sir." Seaman Hooper replied. "This is our busiest time of day and as you know, we only have one officer."

Chandler nodded. "Can I appoint you a champion then? To round out the numbers?"

The young man nodded while making a study of Chandler's shoes. "What can it hurt? We're probably the least qualified in this area already."

Tom clapped him on the shoulder. "Do you feel you got better this week?" He studied Hooper. He didn't now much about Seaman Hooper other than he was 19, from Utah, and Bacon had approved him to accompany the helo on the supply run.

The kid finally met his eyes. "Yeah. Uh Yes Sir. I got my best score ever on the M9."

"Well, I count that as a win then." Satisfied, he moved to stand in the middle of the deck and nodded to Jeter who immediately called out a loud "Captain on the deck!"

"At ease everyone, this is a semi-social occasion after all." There were about 120 people crowded on the various catwalks and decks where they could view the aft main deck and the target stands at the edge behind him. "We have 36 remaining shooters. We'll shoot 4 at a time and then score. We'll start with the standard 3 yard sequence on handguns and work our way up. The stakes are that the top enlisted and officer will get to pick a dinner menu next week, within the limits of the ingredients we have of course. The entire department of the absolute highest scorer will also get a day of Hollywood showers." A cheer went up among the competitors and Tom smiled. He had known that after two months of five minute showers, the prizes would be well appreciated.

After the noise settled down he continued. "Now, I think we would all agree that the hard working team in food services deserves a fair chance at the prizes as well, wouldn't you?" More whoops and cheers went up around the deck. "But they are hard at work making your dinner right now. So I am going to appoint a champion for them." He looked up to the catwalk again. "Lieutenant Foster, would you please do the honors?" He would have preferred to not put her on the spot like that, but he needed to move this thing along. Even from down here he could see that she blushed as all eyes turned to her and he momentary feared she would decline. But he knew she wouldn't want to disappoint him or the kitchen staff so he pushed that feeling aside and waved to her to come down which she did, if reluctantly.

Behind him he heard Green ask Burk "Why Kara?" and he also heard the young buck who was giving Miller a hard time earlier say to Hooper "You'd think he'd appoint someone from the special teams to give you guys a fighting chance." Inwardly he gloated. Just you wait fellas.

"So, originally, the XO was going to come down here and represent command because he's a better shot than me. But then he heard how well you all were doing with the training all week long and begged me to come instead."

Frankie Benz called down from the catwalk "If command wins do we all get a spa day, Sir?"

With a rueful shake of his head Tom thought, trust Benz to point out the flaw in his award plans. "Just you Frankie. I overheard your roommate asking if we stocked those little Christmas trees people hang in their cars at the commissary the other day." The group laughed nervously. Damn, he thought, no matter how I try, the crew will always be reserved around me. Slattery had jokes. Master Chief was able to slip into counselor mode and put people at ease. Tom knew he was well liked, but he never could quite get the crew to relax completely around him.

He tried one of Mike's jokes anyway. "The XO did send along some advice though. Imagine the Pennsylvania countryside, back in 1776. A Quaker wakes from an afternoon nap in his hayloft and hears something going on in his barn below. Upon seeing that a few Redcoats are raiding his barn for supplies, he slides his trusty musket over the edge of the loft and alerts the Redcoat by cocking the flint." A weak laugh filtered through the crowd. A few had apparently heard this old joke. No doubt one or two, from the same instructor Tom had. He went on. "The Redcoat just says 'Ha! Good bluff Quaker but everyone knows Quakers don't take life.' The Quaker only smiles and replies 'I would not shoot thee for the world, dear friend! Unfortunately, thou art standing between me and my supper.' A few of the sharper people tittered but the joke fell flat and he saw that the crew was impatient to move on. With a sigh, at least he had tried. He spread his hands to indicate the targets standing stark against the bright blue sky behind him. "Anyways, let's please give the shooters quiet when called for, be safe and stay back where directed, and please, encourage your teammates to give this their best shot."

They quickly set groups of four. The first to shoot were Jeter, Miller, Barker, and LtJG King. They stood at the three yard mark facing the paper targets, a volunteer behind each of the shooters held a clipboard to keep score. Lieutenant Mason was acting as the referee and he called for quiet. "Ready? Fire." Each shooter stood in the isosceles position with their feet wide, knees bent, and released two rounds with their strong arm supporting the M9. As they moved to holster and then then re-do their stance Tom noticed that the less experienced officers had improved quite a bit this week. Miller fumbled a little as he finished his first set of 12 rounds and then re-holstered, but it looked like he would turn in a respectable score. The volunteers quickly recorded the scores while weapons were exchanged with the next group of Green, LtJG Wright from electronics, the seaman from food services, and Doc Rios.

After another twelve rounds his group was up. "Like riding a bike, right sir?" Green was confident he had outshot Wright and would continue, and why shouldn't he be? Tom had observed him giving instruction all week. One thing he could say about Lieutenant Green was that he was as much of a perfectionist as Tom had heard. He felt a fission of nervousness as he accepted the pistol. He hadn't practiced since they left Norfolk two months ago and it simply wouldn't do to be eliminated in the first round.

"Well, it's been a while, but I used to be quite good at this." Tom hesitated a moment considering how much to say. He always tried to give the younger officers praise when well founded, but he didn't want to build Danny up only to have him be disappointed when he inevitably lost. He chose his words carefully. "Then again, you and Burk have done a good job this week. Everyone is doing better than I expected."

Standing a fraction taller with pride, Danny's eyes sparkled. "Then I guess you'll have to up your game to keep us in our place, Sir." Tom smiled widely. He liked officers who were not overly intimidated by those higher ranking than they were. It meant they wouldn't hesitate to speak up when necessary. He took his place and easily outshot his own group.

He felt the relief wash through his veins. So far so good. While they watched the next few groups he remarked to Burk "Carlton, you have done a good job on this training. I am impressed with people's improvements."

Burk's chest puffed with pride, but in contrast to Green he didn't joke. "I guess this is the point where I get to be proud of my students as they surpass me. You know this isn't my best skill."

Tom tried not to smile. Sometimes Burk was so predictable. "I know. Your greatest skill is up here." He tapped his head. "But lucky for all of us, you are better than average at pretty much everything. Just don't let her embarrass you too much."

That did get Burk to laugh. "I'll do my best sir." The last group of Burk, Cruz, Foster, and Hooper took their places. At Mason's command, they took their shots. Tom marveled at the difference in their styles. Hooper kept glancing at the audience between rounds and it was clear he was nervous about making a good showing. Burk took his shots quietly and professionally with a singular focus. Kara was like a miniature copy of Burk, except he could see the vibrations of each shot reverberate through her tiny form. The two of them executing everything with textbook precision but no emotion or obvious pride in the achievement of each shot. Cruz however started with a steely, resolved look and finished with a grin. Obviously pleased with his showing.

They continued on in their four person groups, moving out to seven and then fifteen meters, which they could barely fit at a diagonal across the deck. By the time they reached 15 meters and had to move through kneeling and standing positions he could see that some of the younger shooters like Cruz and Foster were improving relative to the more experienced people like himself and Jeter. Kara in particular moved smoothly through all the positions with a steady rhythm while Jeter and Barker were both a bit slower and less fluid. Although almost ten years younger than Jeter and certainly more fit than Barker, he wondered if he was beginning to show his age too? These kids just seemed to keep getting younger. He pulled one arm across his chest to stretch.

As they logged the handguns back in, the volunteers calculated the final scores and Mason announced. "The eight competitors continuing on have been determined. Representing the enlisted, in order from a low score of 224 to a high score of 231 we have O'Connor, Miller, Cruz and CMC Jeter." A round of applause brought a sharp flush to Miller's cheeks. Cruz looked relaxed. He generally took the long shots for the VBSS team after all, so he knew he'd do well with the rifles. "And continuing on for the officers from low to high we have Foster, Barker, Commander Chandler, and Green."

Tom noticed the young guy from ship's services, who had been loudly boasting that he shot a 223 a few minutes ago, giving Kara the evil eye. "What are the scores?" The kid called out to Mason and a few others joined in. "Yeah, what's the range?" He noticed Halsey edging between the kid and Foster. He had to admit, when he'd heard they would be housing a dog for four months he'd thought of it as just one more damn thing to have to keep track of. He was glad to see the dog was as smart as advertised.

Tom caught Mason's gaze and inclined his head. Mason had been with him long enough to know he didn't encourage too much competition between the enlisted and officers. He and Jeter had worked very hard over the years to encourage an atmosphere of excellence and pride in a job well done from all positions. But, the scores were pretty close here so he figured it wouldn't hurt. Mason leaned down to confer with one of the score keepers. "Ah 220 to 234" A murmur sounded in the crowd and Tom quickly assessed that the eliminated seaman had beat out Kara's score.

Regardless, the rules had been set and he didn't see anything to be gained, in terms of long term crew relations, by changing them now. Instead he quipped to Kara, "Better up your game Foster." She tossed her head back and laughed. "I'm surprised I survived this round but now the fun can really begin."

Green looked taken aback by her confidence. "You are going to continue on to the rifles?"

Tom couldn't resist playing with him a bit. He liked the younger man but honestly, did he think he was going to automatically win? Tom gave Green a teethy smile while he asked her "I don't know Foster, think you can catch up by 14 points?"

She eyed Green speculatively. "Depends, you ever score over 190 Lieutenant?"

"No but…." He faced Chandler with a confident smile. "She'd have to get a perfect score to beat me with that."

The young enlisted kid with the 223 had been listening in. "The girl barely has a chance to win sir. You should let me go forward. The ship's services group is every bit as important as the kitchen." He stepped out from the crowd of people and was about to step in front of her when Kara's spine snapped firm. Now there was the feisty lieutenant Tom had been trying to draw out for weeks.

She looked the kid up and down, rolling her eyes at the way he puffed his chest like a rooster. "You got a pocket on that uniform Seaman?" She asked loud enough for the rest to hear.

"Yes?" He answered her warily. Tom barely suppressed a giggle, that would have embarrassed himself in the role of commander, knowing what was coming.

"Good, then you'll have a way to carry your balls home with you." Her chin jut out with a new purpose and she nodded toward Smith to hand over the M4 he was holding. The kid just stood there with his mouth open.

Tom couldn't resist. "Better close that thing before you start catching flies son."

As they waited for the two target handlers out on the water to signal that they were fully clear and ready to shoot, Tom sized up the three people he thought could be serious competitors. He knew he was better with the handgun than the rifle so he fully expected Jeter, who had been the rifleman on the VBSS team before moving to the command side of things, to beat him handily. Green leaned down to whisper something into Kara's ears and she laughed. "Right back at you Lieutenant." The difference between them was almost comical. He looked at Green and Foster eyeing each other speculatively. With a long range rifle Foster would smoke them all, but with a regular M4, it really depended on how good Green was. He'd just put up one of the highest scores with a handgun he'd ever seen so maybe she had finally met her match.

Foster stood near the table waiting for ammunition, one hip cocked to the side to support her weight. Standing between Green and Jeter, the top of her head barely reaching their shoulders, she looked almost fairy like. Especially with Halsey beside them, his big black ear muffs making him look like half fly, half dog. After collecting two banana clips from the crewman scanning and logging the distribution of ammo, she pulled a pair neoprene gloves from her back pocket.

The disgruntled sailor who had asked to be reconsidered nudged a buddy with his elbow. "Oh look, the girl needs to protect her dainty hands from getting chapped in the wind." Tom fought back the urge to pop the guy a shiner and trusted Foster to respond appropriately. But she didn't have to because Green started pulling on gloves too. "Thanks for the tip about the gloves the other day." He didn't make eye contact with the kid but it was clear the comment was actually directed at him.

Foster tilted her face up to meet his eyes. "Yeah, like I told you, the Nathan James got an early production set when we switched to the M4. The grips get hot with rapid fire." They patently ignored the kid and Tom had to turn his head and grin into his shoulder so no one would see. The kid's chief had finally had enough however. Senior Chief Hurley crooked a finger at him and Tom had a feeling that after the competition, the heads were going to get a few extra hours of sparkle and shine.

The eight made their way to the edge of the deck. "Alright, alright." Burk quieted everyone down. "Just like you practiced all week we're going to shoot toward the targets on the dummy boat in groups of four. But, for this competition we're going to start at 75 meters and work our way up." He waved to the first set of four, Miller, Jeter, Green, and Barker and they began shooting. The rifles were considerably louder than the handguns and many people covered their ears. Miller looked tense and Tom saw that he took the recoil stiffly. He would have a bruised shoulder tomorrow. He squeezed off his shots one by one while the other three rapidly progressed through the usual sequence. Still, it looked like he'd gotten a respectable score.

Tom joined Foster, O'Connor, and Cruz at the starboard side of the deck and they readied their weapons. He aimed and knew a moment's satisfaction as the foam support for the target bobbed with each hit. But after the scores were announced, he had to wryly accept that his prediction had been correct. Green, Jeter, Miller, and Foster would be the final four. The two men on the water re-positioned the targets at 150 meters. Tom was about to congratulate Miller when Cruz beat him to it. "Dude Miller, you spike my coffee this morning?" Cruz slapped the teen on the shoulder and Miller ducked his head to hide his flush of pride. Tom caught Jeter's eye and they shared a smile. That kind of thing was exactly what they had hoped these training competitions would bring out in the crew. In eight weeks, when they sailed back into the Chesapeake, they would know they were the best damn crew in the whole Navy.

They shot in the prone position for the final round, two at a time. First Miller and Green, then Jeter and Foster. As Miller and Green got down on the deck, Halsey laid close to Danny's side, his head on his paws. Tom was completely amazed at how little attention the dog paid to the loud shots. Miller's gun jammed on the third shot and they paused while Green showed him a trick to clear and reset it quickly. The kid thanked him and Danny waited respectfully to make sure he made his shots before taking his own. Tom breathed out some tension he hadn't realized he'd been holding in since Hurley had carted off the young ship's serviceman. Sure, there were a few bad apples in the crew, but overall they were a great group.

Miller and Green hopped to their feet and Jeter and Foster took their places. The last two were much slower taking their shots but the bobbing target indicated that they hit it more often as well. Even before the scores were read, Tom could see that Foster was the only one to hit the target every time, never mind get a decent score. Mason listened on the radio as the scores were relayed from the men on the water. He quickly jotted some notes as his lips slowly spread in a wide smile. "Uh, Commander?" The younger man brought over the clipboard. Tom skimmed the penciled numbers. Jeter had easily trounced Miller with a total of 188 for the rifle portion and 420 overall. Green had not made his 190 but he still had 415 overall. But as Tom had expected, Foster scored a near perfect score of 199 giving her a 420 overall.

"We have a tie!" He announced. "CMC Jeter and Lieutenant Foster have each put up excellent scores bringing them both to 420 points." The clapping and cheering was so loud it seemed to echo off the ice covered slopes in the distance. The crew from the CIC were practically hopping up and down while all the enlisted were going wild and cheering on Jeter. True to form, Russ smiled mildly and Foster was the picture of modesty. He nodded to Burk and the Lieutenant brought out a large black case and handed it to Kara. In the distance, the boat towing the target dummy began to pull away from the ship.

Her face cracked in a tremulous smile and she turned her light eyes on Chandler. "Sir?"

"I think some of the less experienced of the crew need a reminder that it takes hard work and dedication to achieve the level of competence you and Jeter have displayed today, don't you?" He announced loudly.

She looked practically giddy as she and Jeter proceeded to kneel on the deck and assemble the weapon together. Tom watched as Green squatted next to her and asked her something. She tossed her head back and laughed. He hadn't seen her do that since she boarded seven weeks ago and now she'd had sparkles in her eyes twice in twenty minutes. He noticed that she leaned into Green and made a low comment. Huh, he hadn't even realized they were friends.

After he finished firing, hitting the target three times in twelve rounds, Russ joined Tom, Danny, Burk, and Miller at the rail to watch as Kara adjusted the gun to her much smaller size. She looked perfectly at home behind the high powered rifle as she lay on the deck and made alterations, first looking through the scope at the target floating some 500 meters away, and then carefully leveling the feet, then looking again, dialing to adjust the reticle. Tom wished he could call his wife later and tell her about the day. She knew Foster and would find the image of the German Shepherd stretched out against her with his paws extending past her splayed boots very comical.

"Just let me know when you want to take your three practice shots." Jeter called out to her from the side.

She turned her head with a cheeky grin. "Oh come on Master Chief. You know to do it right it's one and done. I'll let you know when I'm ready."

A few minutes passed and Tom heard whispered bets being passed behind him. Miller turned to him. "If she's so good, how come she's in CIC and not on the Boarding teams?"

Burk waved a hand to indicate the rest of the team. "You see any J.I. Janes on this team?"

"Oh, yeah, forgot."

Danny asked Carlton. "Can she really make that? A moving target at 500 meters when it's windy?"

"She won't take the shot unless she knows she'll hit it." Burk showed absolute confidence in her. Green looked impressed but he didn't say another word.

Kara raised a hand and Mason shouted out "Clear", raising a flag over his head so the crew on the water knew as well.

Tom watched her finger on the trigger but hardly saw it move before the gun recoiled and every head whipped toward the target. She looked back through the scope at the target and grinned with a mixture of pride and elation. From this distance you needed a high powered scope to see anything, never mind the score, but Tom took in the way she rose to her heels and stood proud while they waited for the reading and knew she'd hit the mark. Bercham and Cossetti zipped in on the rhib to confirm. Static crackled on Chandler's radio. "Ah, whoever that was, got it, inner circle eight." beside him, Tom heard Green let out a "Holy crap!" The best of Jeter's three hits had been a six and that was the minimum to count as a kill shot.

Several guys were watching close enough to hear the radio. He heard someone saying "Wow, Lucky shot!" amid the many exclamations.

Chandler eyed Kara, standing modestly by the gun. "Think you can do it again?" He called over to her. Behind them the crowd quieted again.

"Yes sir." She beamed with pride. As he signaled to Mason to clear the lane, she knelt and took a deep, clearing breath. And then with methodical precision she lowered herself to her elbows to peer in the scope again. She traced out a calculation with her fingertip on the deck and nodded to herself. Then she dialed an adjustment on the reticle. She was counting something under her breath, starting over every few seconds. She looked about to take the shot and then the wind ruffled his hair and he worried that he had set her up for failure. He knew he shouldn't care so much, but he wanted that cocky kid from ship's services put in his place. But she was calmly breathing and counting and didn't look perturbed at all. He realized she wasn't looking in the scope but out at something in the distance. What the heck did she see? After a few minutes of silent counting she lowered her eye to the scope again. The late afternoon sun gleamed off her dark hair but he knew she must be freezing from laying on the metal deck. Still, she held perfectly still. Even Halsey didn't twitch so much as a whisker. Tom realized his knuckles were white against the chilly railing and forced himself to relax his hands. She was counting again and he saw her finger move a fraction and release. Then she began again. Finally, after what felt like and eternity of anticipation she squeezed the trigger.

The spectators let out a collective breath when the target reeled back from the impact of the bullet. As it bobbed forward, she slumped down to the deck to a smattering of applause that reminded him of watching golf on TV. But when she lifted her shining head, her first glance was a smirk toward the cocky seaman who had challenged her earlier. Without saying a word she calmly began disassembling the weapon and placing it in the case. "Mr. Cruz?"

Cruz joined her by the opening in the rail. "Yes Ma'am."

"Please see that the gun is properly cleaned and stored." He nodded and she stood, brushing off her coveralls as if she didn't care to look and see the score.

"Well Captain, I believe that target is good and dead. I'll be ordering pork chops, green beans with bacon, and red potatoes for my meal. If it's possible I want carrot cake with cream cheese frosting for dessert. And I'll be taking my shower on Saturday at 10 AM."

Mason put down his radio. "Was it a good shot?" Tom had a feeling he knew the answer but he wanted Mason to announce it to the crew.

"You weren't kidding when you said she never misses Sir. A perfect bullseye." The crowd erupted in cheers and Kara couldn't hide a prideful grin.

Tom raised her tiny gloved hand like a prize fighter's and grinned down at her. "Now you all see why I trust her with the big guns. Bravo Zulu Lieutenant Foster. Bravo Zulu." Once again he marveled at how the crew was coming together as a whole when several people crowded around to congratulate her.

Beside him Miller shuffled his feet. "What course do you have to sign up for to get that good?"

Danny beat Tom to the answer. "I believe in Kansas they call that the hanging out on the farm with Butch and Eric Foster course."

Chandler looked at him sharply. "You're too young to have known Butch. Did you know Eric?"

Danny looked taken aback. "She told me?" He replied as a question, not meeting the captain's eye.

Chandler studied the younger man, not quite believing his ears. He wondered if there was an issue there that he should nip in the bud. He knew Admiral Green. Heck, everyone knew of him. But Chandler had actually been at his 4th and 5th weddings and he knew all about his tendencies. He hadn't thought Danny shared them, but maybe he should keep an eye out. Because one thing he did know for sure was that in the six years she'd been on his ship, Kara Foster had never once discussed her father or her brother beyond her closest circle of friends.


	32. Chapter 32 - Cherish

Thank you for all the kind reviews. I am really enjoying writing this fic and sharing it with you.

I cut a man's hair once. I said I knew how when I really didn't know how. It came out awful. But he wore it for a few weeks without getting it fixed. I'm not sure if it was to avoid hurting my feelings or to spite me for making him look like a street orphan. People either didn't notice (How could they not notice?) or they were too polite to say anything (Yeah, it was probably that). Either way, after about two weeks he hauled himself off to the barber and got it buzzed and the incident was quickly forgotten.

**Cherish, Kool and the Gang**

Danny was in the shower. She knew it was him by the sound of his voice drifting into the P-way. Ever since the day she'd crashed into him the second time, she'd been sure to dally after her meal to avoid crossing paths in the private spaces. And now that they had made the agreement to get back together when they returned to port, she thought it was extra important to avoid being tempted. But today she'd had to hurry back because she desperately needed to find a tampon. She was rewarded with the sound of his voice drifting out into the hallway. "Almost cut my hair yesterday..." What the heck was he singing? "Felt like letting my freak flag fly." She giggled, he had to be making that up. But, she liked his singing none the less.

She went into her room to get her ditty bag and then tiptoed into the officer's head. She couldn't wait or else she'd have to pre-wash her laundry to deal with a stain. With close to forty officers using two bathroom areas and two laundry spaces, there was practically no way to do that privately. She tiptoed past the shower and into the stall.

She had just finished reassembling her belt when she heard the water stop. She decided she was better off staying put until Danny exited to his room so she sat on the lid and drew her feet up under her. She heard him pull back the curtain and pad to the sink. Through the door hinge she saw the white towel wrapped tightly around his hips. Her fingertips ached to reach out and draw it off. She frowned when he turned on the water and began preparing to shave but it turned to a guilty smile as she watched his reflection in the mirror apply shaving gel and begin scraping the razor down his cheeks to his jawline. He had been in the process of growing a beard when she had spent the first two weeks with him, and while she liked the beard, there was just something so voyeuristic and intimate about watching a man shave that she was transfixed by the process. She nearly gave herself away when another officer entered and she was startled out of her obsessive staring.

"Hey Choir Boy" The teasing voice of Carlton Burk gave away the third person.

"Hey yourself."

Kara's sense of guilt increased. The last thing she wanted to do was spy on her friend. She debated flushing so they'd know someone was there, but then abandoned that idea because she definitely didn't want Danny to know she had crossed into creepy chick territory.

"You talk with Slattery about doing that one-on-one tactics session we came up with this morning?" Carlton entered the stall next to her and she tensed, perfectly still.

"Yep, he was game. But he said Chandler wouldn't go for more competition given what happened with that snotty kid the other day." He snorted as he began washing the razor in the sink. "It's like he thinks we're gonna force some PosMo on that noodle."

There was a loud flush and then Kara strained to hear over the running water.

"Yeah, about that." Carlton's voice was serious now.

"What about it?" There was a note of worry in Danny's voice that reflected Kara's own alarm. Could Carlton know somehow?

"You two need to knock it off, whatever's going on. I see the way she looks at you when she thinks no one is looking and you're not helping, being Mr. Nice guy all of a sudden. I don't know what the deal is, but if you so much as cause her one iota of unhappiness I will be on you like a rabid dog on a porterhouse, capiche?

"Really?" Danny replied with a mixture of humor and exasperation. "Kara can handle herself without your big brother routine." Kara didn't know whether to feel pleased or not. On the one hand she was touched that one of her best friends was trying to look out for her, on the other hand, she was also inordinately pleased that Danny was confident that she didn't need it. But then there was the weird feeling of knowing you were being talked about like you were a child.

Danny kept his eyes slanted toward the other man as he toweled off his face. After Burk dried his hands he turned back toward the sinks crossing his arms over his chest. "Well OK, I'll give you that. But, she deserves the best, you know."

She watched as Danny turned to face Carleton eye to eye with a new note of steel to the jut of his freshly shaved chin. "Despite what you may have heard about my familial connections, I am not and never have been a moocher like that guy Steve and I'm not a womanizer like the Admiral. I have made my own way to this point and I have no desire to ruin anyone's career." When he saw the relief flood Carlton's face he relaxed against the counter. "You don't have to worry. Seriously. We're play by the rules people."

Kara saw Carlton's anxiety fade and she thought he was going to turn to go. Then he surprised her by saying "Honestly, Green, you seem like a decent guy. I like working with you and I think you're trustworthy. You could probably be good for her." He frowned apologetically. "Just don't forget that she's career too. She is one of the best at what she does and one day she'll have her own command. So don't go looking for a picket fence, 2 kids and a dog with her. It's not who she is. She's seen what being left behind did to her mother and she's not about to let that happen to herself."

Kara couldn't see Danny's entire face so she wasn't quite sure how he took that. Carlton was right. Although she wanted some companionship, she had no intention of getting attached to a man until she was nearing retirement. That was a long way off so this, whatever it was now, was purely for fun. Still, it stung a little that her friend was warning Danny about her intentions. If Carlton's message didn't hurt a little, Danny's would have. "You're telling me not to get attached? Don't worry, I wasn't born yesterday Burk." She knew he had said exactly what she should want, but deep down she wanted him to say it was worth the risk.

Carlton nodded then and headed out. Kara breathed a sigh of relief. Now she really wished she had left when she had the chance. It was one thing to over hear a conversation but quite another to have one of your best friends and your former, and hopefully future, lover discuss you.

Danny was replacing his items in his toiletries bag, his back to her. She watched the play of muscles under his skin. She might as well look now because he had as much as told Carlton he wasn't planning to re-start anything on the ship. "You can come out now." At first she didn't move. How had he known she was in there? "Kara, seriously, come out."

She flushed and emerged, sheepishly looking at her feet while holding the door so it wouldn't bang shut and wake anyone. She crossed to the sink, keeping her eyes on her hands as she was washing them. "How long did you know I was there?"

Out of the corner of her eye she saw that he looked more amused than angry. "What can I say, I'm good at SA. I heard you come in when I was in the shower and never heard you go out."

She turned, leaning back against the counter beside him but leaving two feet of proprietary space between them. "But how did you know it was me?"

He winked. "It was either you or Dr. Scott because any other woman would have come out to participate in the gossip."

Her "hrmph" only made him smile wider. "What was that song you were making up, Choir Boy?"

"Oh I wasn't making that up. It's a real song." He crossed his ankles as if settling in for a long conversation. Kara couldn't help but notice his long powerful legs and bare feet beneath the towel. Why were men's bare feet so intimate, she thought.

Suddenly the room felt smaller and Kara glanced toward the door. She should go. She really should go. She reached out for a paper towel while he finished repacking his bag and zipped it. Anyone might come in in a minute. She needed to get away before this did degrade into a rule breaking incident.

"Did you mean it when you said you'd cut my hair?" His question surprised her.

Her hand was on the door but she turned to look at him again. "Yeah, sure. If you need a cut." He waved a hand at the unruly strands currently arrayed in a mix of random curls and strands plastered to his brow and she smiled at the comical image. "Yeah, you need it. Slattery does write people up sometimes. Go get dressed and come back with a desk chair and towel. I'll go get my scissors." With that she was out the door.

What am I doing? Kara thought as she rushed to her room. She should be avoiding him. If Burk was noticing, surely other people were too. This was how she was going to end up hurt or worse, with another stain on her resume. When she returned, Danny was waiting with a chair and towel as instructed. Maya was washing up. "I was just reassuring Lieutenant Green that you do give good haircuts."

"It's a good thing too." Danny quipped "Because if she hadn't and you came in here with those scissors scowling like that, I might worry about what you were going to do to my scalp." The other woman exited and Kara motioned for Danny to sit. She spread the towel over his bare shoulders. Pinching his ear lightly she joked. "I'm not sure your scalp is really what you need to worry about."

No it isn't at all Danny thought to himself. Kara was moving around him, combing through his hair with her fingers. It was all he could do not to close his eyes and revel in the decadent feel. One thing no one ever tells you about living on board a ship for weeks at a time is how touch starved you get. She leaned over him to pick up the scissors from the counter and he caught the spicy pomegranate scent of her hair. He shifted slightly in his seat, glad now for the pants. He needed a distraction, anything. "Aren't you going to ask me how I want it cut?"

"Hum?" She sounded like her mind was a million miles away. "I assumed you wanted it back the way it was."

"Yeah, that will do." So much for distracting himself with conversation. She was running the comb in the sink and using it to wet his hair. The feel of her fingers on his skin was commanding all his attention.

Her nerves tingled as she reached out to touch his hair. She hadn't really touched him voluntarily in weeks and now her senses were overwhelmed with his heat, and scent, and feel. She used the comb to lift a section and began clipping, hoping her hands wouldn't shake from the anxiety. Snip, snip. "So, how did you learn to cut hair?" He asked.

Any conversation was better than none to mask the thumping of her pulse, which she figured could be heard out in the passageway at this point. "Learned on my dad and big brothers." Snip, snip.

"You're not going to give me some kind of little boy bowl cut are you?" Eyebrows raised in question he leaned away in mock horror.

She laughed and the sound of it went right to his gut. "They were done being little boys by the time I was born." She combed some hair down over his brow and came to lean over him from the front. He couldn't see her through the long locks but the urge to place his hands on her hips and draw her into his lap was strong. How had he survived high school without embarrassing himself every 20 minutes? Think of her father killing him in his own bed from 500 yards away. "So, was your mom just visiting you in Norfolk or does she actually live with you?" Snip.

"I had just moved her from Kansas the week before I met you." She snipped a little hank of hair over his left eye and now he could see her again. Yep, he could see right down her tee where it gaped as she leaned over him. He recognized the plain cotton bra with silky lace edging. It was his favorite. He closed his eyes. Think of the angry parents damnit.

"And your Dad didn't come? Is he still in Kansas?" She froze for a minute. One hand hovering with the scissors, the other measuring out the next hank of hair off his brow.

"Colorado actually. He's dead." She returned to cutting. Snip, snip, snip.

Well that certainly did deflate his desire. "Oh, you didn't say that before." Hoping it would diffuse the tension he quipped. "Didn't know you had more than one brother. Please tell me you're the best shot in the family." Snip, snip.

"I am. They used to joke that it was easy for me to hold still because I was so much shorter."

"So your dad taught you? Was he a Hog then?" He hoped she said no. It wouldn't be surprising to hear he'd had problems living with his family afterward. It would certainly explain a lot. But he didn't really want to hear that she'd had a terrible childhood.

"What makes you think he taught me?" She began shortening the hair at the crown of his head, leaning forward over him to reach. He realized that he must be succeeding in distracting her too when she stood with one leg between his knees.

"You forget, I've read your file." He was talking to her collarbone so he couldn't see her face. "There's no sniper school in there. And you're not the bloodthirsty type who can handle it, long term."

She could remember every detail of the morning of her first kill with striking clarity. Her brother, Sean, had woken her at about 4 AM and she had dressed in her layers of thermal underwear and wool socks as quickly as she could. She was so proud that they were taking her with them and didn't want to be teased for spending too much time on her hair or clothes. While she had never been a girly-girl, she had often felt a little outside of the camaraderie shared by her father and brothers. But after practicing on tin cans and hay stuffed grain sacks all summer, they were finally letting her join them for a hunt. She carried her scuffed tan work boots down to the kitchen where her mother motioned toward the table with a hushed "Just a snack for now. Hopefully we can have a better breakfast when you get back." Kara had to tamp down her urge to screw up her face in disgust. There was a mountain of diced onions in the dutch oven on the stove just waiting for a few fresh livers.

Her dad stuffed an orange toque over her ponytail and handed her a neon vest. "Law says you gotta wear it but try not to swish that nylon when we're walking." He himself was wearing an entire neon snowsuit. Sean had on her father's old red checked jacket with a ragged sheepskin collar, and Eric had a vest just like hers over a camo snowsuit. She tugged on her gloves as she followed them out onto the porch, hit with a blast of cold November air that tightened her nose hairs before she really even left the house. A thick frost sparkled over everything making both natural and man made appear like something out of a fairy tale. The moon was setting far in the west and they headed straight for it, stopping quickly in the barn to collect the rifles they had prepared the night before. Then they were trudging through the fields.

She followed them for about a half mile, carefully placing one foot in front of the other to stay between the rows of corn stubble. Her father and Eric moved silently, heads on a swivel like carbon copies of one another. Sean was the least athletic of them but he had a sharp eye and as the horizon slowly lightened he began pointing out tracks and clusters of turkey or deer in the distance. She had to half run to keep up with their strides. As they reached the forty acre plot of trees her Grampa had saved for just this purpose, the dusty smell of freshly turned under fields gave way to the damp must of old leaves and still green weeds.

They slowed and began picking their way along the old trail toward the brook. The black water, lapping boulders wreathed in bright white icy collars, looked far more dangerous than it did when she swam on hot summer days. Her father held up a fist, signaling a stop, at a small stand of thick ash trees clinging to a cutbank. There were several deer on the sandbar on the opposite bank and a few more waiting in the trees behind them. Only about fifty yards away, their ears pricked and swiveled, assessing the group of humans standing above them on the opposite shore. A few of the more timid does bounded into the trees but most returned to drinking, apparently not threatened due to the separation of the water.

Her father motioned for her to come up beside him and they knelt together, waiting. He raised a hand holding up two fingers. With one finger he pointed to the east. She knew he was reminding her she couldn't take the shot until it was officially dawn or she risked the wrath of the game warden. Then he held his fingers splayed over his head and she had to bite off a childish giggle. He wanted her to wait for a buck.

He helped her check her piece. It was loaded and ready so they sat in the damp leaves and waited. She heard him coming before she saw him. A few branches cracked. Then a heavier footfall stamped the river sand. Every doe in the herd paused and looked up as one, when the male in the herd emerged from behind a pine tree. He stood on the shore, his dark eyes scanning the females. She felt her excitement rise. Sean's first was only a little doe and Eric had teased him mercilessly, until the next season when Eric had come home empty handed. The deer lowered his head to drink from the brook and she counted 12 points. If she hadn't been watching deer all summer, learning to keep still and quiet, she would have jumped for joy, Eric's first had been an eight pointer. She desperately wanted this one but he'd have to stick around another 10 minutes.

After lapping water, the male snorted, loud in the dawn hush, and then sniffed around the females. He drifted up the bank, nosing around for acorns and green plants. At one point he passed behind a stand of brush and her spirits deflated, but then he returned to the sandbar again. The winter birds were becoming more vocal overhead. Her dad slowly removed his watch and placed it on the ground between them. Three minutes until official sun up. He helped her check the gun one last time. Slowly rolling it in her hands to slide the safety off. And then she was raising the barrel.

She looked down the cold steel and lined up the bead in the notch, just as he had taught her. The deer was still facing her so she aimed for the quartering shot, just above the shoulder, where she hoped he'd fall dead immediately. Her father had warned her that she might have to make a second shot, or worse use her knife, if the first didn't do the job. She didn't move a muscle as she listened to her brothers count down the seconds with their foggy exhalations. Thirty seconds to go and she carefully eased her finger to the trigger position, her breathing slowed. As long as the deer stayed put, she had him.

A shot echoed at the Riggs farm over the hill to the west. A few more rang out further away. Every deer in the herd raised it's head and she knew this was it. As the buck reeled about, his powerful back legs bunching to leap, she aimed a smidge in front and above the reverse quarter to account for his movement and squeezed.

The body thumped onto the sand. She braced herself, waiting to see if he attempted to rise, as the rest of the herd crashed away through the brush, white tails held high in warning. But the chest of the magnificent beast never rose again.

She had a hard time convincing her brothers later on that she hadn't just gotten a lucky shot. When they butchered the deer they labeled all the freezer packs Lucky and teased her about it for months. But her father stuck up for her. "Admit it. She practiced all summer while we were away and now she's better than you. Her first kill, a moving shot, perfect kill shot. I've seen it before boys. Some guys just have a knack for it and now your sister can say she's one of them." She had been twelve and knowing her dad was proud of her had meant so much.

"Should I be afraid of them coming after me with pitchforks then?" Danny watched as the sound of his voice intruded on her thoughts. One minute she was pulling a hank of hair with one hand, scissors paused midair with the other, and the next minute she was frantically combing away again.

"Only if you're afraid of ghosts."

Snip, snip, snip. The hair over his forehead was shortened and he could see her jaw clench and then release. She held him by the chin and turned his head side to side comparing the cut on either temple without saying anymore but he could see she was upset. He reached up and grasped one of her hands and turned his lips into it. "I'm sorry I brought it up. I didn't realize." He kissed her palm and released her hand. For a moment she left it there against the smooth skin of his chin, and then she sighed deeply and returned to cutting, this time working up from the nape of his neck. Snip, Snip.

He wasn't necessarily expecting her to say any more but then she began like a floodwater pouring from a gate. "You couldn't have known, and it was a long time ago anyway." Snip, snip. "My father started as a Marine in Vietnam. He came home to a family farm that he never wanted with a penchant for jumping out of aircraft. It was really hard on my mother, not really knowing where he was most of the time. When he came home, he never stayed for long either. He retired when I was 9. But then he began spending summers as a smoke jumper when I was 10. My brothers were 16 and 17 and they could do the chores during the slow summer season." Snip, snip. "By the time I was in high school my oldest brother, Eric, was at West Point and my middle brother, Sean, was going with my dad."

Danny was getting a sinking feeling about this. "He missed my high school graduation because there was a big fire in Colorado and he just had to be there." Snip, snip, snip. "He and my second brother, Sean, jumped into the deep backwoods somewhere northwest of Boulder. The wind changed while they were out there and they never made it back." Snip, snip, snip. He almost broke the silence but something told him to just listen. Snip, snip, snip.

"My oldest brother, Eric, sort of followed my father's footsteps. Officially he was a Ranger. Unofficially…" She let it hang a minute. "He was seven years older than me and I idolized him, but I hardly knew him. I saw him exactly two times after my father died. He came home for the funeral and he pinned me at my commissioning. I was so happy to listen to all his stories. They were so different from my dad's, all about helping people in exotic places. He used to send my mom trinkets from all over the world." She paused with her hands on his shoulders. She wasn't sure why she was telling him all this because she almost never talked about it. Burk knew because he'd met Eric but not even Alicia knew all the details. But somehow, she couldn't stop. She needed him to understand. "In the end, it didn't matter what kind of work he was doing, he never came back either. Stepped on an IED while evacuating women and children from a Syrian village about a year ago. That's when my mom finally agreed to move to Norfolk. Officially I own the farm, but Kansas is all just dust to me now." Snip, snip. She combed the hair over one ear out straight. Snip.

"Is your family why you joined the Navy then?" His stomach was turning over now. No wonder she didn't want to date anyone in a uniform. No wonder she didn't want to start anything too personal with him. I wasn't really what happened with that guy Steve. She'd been let down by all the people who really mattered. His heart ached for her. It might have been 10 years ago, but he could hear the pain in her voice and feel the tension in her body where she leaned against his side as she clipped away.

"Not really. It is why I studied meteorology though. I was going to go to Kansas State and do ROTC to pay for school, but a recruiter convinced me to go to the academy so I could take a job with the NOAA Commissioned Officer Corps. By then my mother was drinking heavily and I wanted to be as far away from my memories as I could get, so I went for it. I had an uneventful plebe year but then I went on my first summer cruise and I was hooked."

She was back around to the front again. Snip, comb, snip, comb. "So, now that you know my sordid family history. Tell me how the son of an admiral ends up stuck in a tin can off the coast of Greenland for four months." She was trying to change the subject and he was pretty sure he should let her get away with it.

She wasn't going to think much of him after she heard the sordid details but he supposed she had shared so he couldn't gracefully refuse. "Well, there's not much to tell. I am the middle of five children with wife number 2 of 5."

She whistled at that. "Wow! Well I guess I know where you got your charm from then." He had at least brought a smile back to her face.

"Yep, two big sisters, two little sisters. I should mention that my father was 46 when I was born and my two older half-sisters already had kids of their own. My younger half-sisters are twins, about your age."

"Did you really grow up in boarding school?" She was bending and sweeping up hair with a bit of paper towel now. He made sure to look away lest he see her form outlined in too much detail against her uniform.

"Yep, wife number 3 wasn't too interested in raising someone else's kid."

"What about your own mother?" She was shaking out the towel over the sink. He noticed with relief that her movements weren't so brisk and she wasn't avoiding eye contact as much as before.

"Well, after my father was caught in an affair with one of his aides, that'd be wife number 3, they divorced. I was sent off to school to protect me from the strife and never really lived at home again."

Her heart ached for the confused little boy he must have been. "You were so young! That must have been hard." She was leaning against the sink now, her work done and he was relieved that she had stayed to finish the conversation.

"Actually, it was a blessing. At school there were no secrets, no being passed between nanny and housekeeper all the time. There was plenty to do to keep busy."

"Did you really want to skip college to be a scuba diver?"

"Yes and no. I've wanted to be a SEAL from the time I was about 13. I spent 1 summer on a carrier cruise with my father in the Philippines. There was a group of SEALs on board and they took me in, taught me some basic stuff, told stories, that kind of thing. Vince was one of them." He remembered it fondly. He had been so in awe of them. "By comparison, my father's role seemed boring to me. He mostly sat at a desk all day reading and writing. When I tried to enlist out of high school he blew up and told me we could discuss it after college. So I hauled off to Duke and signed up for ROTC without telling him. I was half way through BUDs before he found out from one of my nephews who was also in training. He was livid at first, but he gave the commencement speech when I got my trident and he's never tried to mess with my assignments so I think he's ok with it now."

"You don't talk to him much, I take it?"

"No, he's doing his thing out of San Diego and I'm doing mine here. He keeps tabs on me through Vince. You were right about Vince by the way. He does have a...shall we say career path I cannot divulge. My mother and two of my sisters are in New York so that's where I go for holidays when I'm stateside."

Kara was quiet for a moment. Thinking about Vince made her think about the day she'd walked away and that made her nearly sick. She stood, back to the counter. Maybe she would do best to not let herself feel too sympathetic toward him. That would only build attachment and make it harder the next time they had to part. She wasn't sure if she could take it a second time. "Well Danny Green, check out your hair, make sure you like it."

He stood and inspected his reflection. She had done a good job. He looked exactly as he had when he came aboard in June. "It's great, Thanks."

His smile was warm and genuine and made her want to do something foolish, like hold his hand or kiss his cheek, just so he would know he wasn't really all alone in the world. "Ok then." Kara looked like she wanted to say more but she just gave a half smile. "See you around." She practically tripped over her feet in her haste to get out the door before she really did do something stupid.

He was left wondering what had scared her off. He had been about to ask her if she wanted to walk Halsey with him later, just to do something friendly together that wouldn't be too suspicious. But she had run. He sighed. He supposed that what Burk had said about people noticing had been enough to make her skittish. It seemed that this was a one step forward, two steps back kind of campaign. He combed his hand through his hair where his scalp was still electrified from her touch. At the moment, he wasn't sure what to do next. He had been honest with Burk when he said he didn't want to mess with their careers, but damn if he didn't feel like every moment he spent away from her was an eternity.

Later that afternoon Kara sat in her bunk attempting to work on the sewing project her mother had sent, listening to the playlist Danny had given her for a Secret Santa gift, and wondering if there was some kind of message in the songs he'd chosen. She was trying to think about anything other than their last conversation but failing miserably. They were both nearly alone in the world now. Her own story was so obviously tragic that people tended to sympathize and try to comfort her. She couldn't usually tell them what a relief it had been to not have her parents fighting all the time and to go away to the Academy where she wouldn't be noticed by her peers for dressing in clothes from other people's yard sales. For all outward appearances, Danny had led a comfortable life. But, she felt sad for him all the same. To have a father and yet not be close seemed a tragedy in and of itself.

She was glad they had talked, honestly, with each other. It was different, not holding back the details, and yet she found they were still the same people. She felt more strongly than ever that they were still extremely compatible. She tortured herself by thinking what it could be like if they weren't both in the Navy. She wondered if the temporary celibacy would be easier when she didn't see him everyday. After spending just 10 minutes so close to him this afternoon she hadn't been able to calm her raging hormones the rest of the day. She had seen him shifting in his seat when she leaned close but she still wasn't willing to break the rules that much. But maybe, if they could just keep doing these friendly things, it would be good for them when they got back home. Damn, that was going to be epic. She lost 10 minutes imagining it before accidentally pricking herself with the needle brought her out of her fantasy. She wondered if he'd like to sit together in the wardroom to do evening paperwork or something else equally un-suspicious instead. She was still agonizing over over the next move and what it should be when she headed to her next watch.


	33. Chapter 33 - Love Lift Us UpTell Her

Since it is mother's day, I thought I'd offer a glimpse of what's going on with the mama's. And since it takes two, a woman and a child, to make a mother, this one gets two titles too. Thank you K for reminding me about hope yesterday. Your story about your mother was inspiring and really exactly what I needed to hear. I talked to my Ma for over an hour today and it was one hour I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

**Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong, Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warner**

**Tell Her About It, Billy Joel**

Nine weeks ago her only remaining baby had kissed her cheek, promised to call as often as possible, and reminded her that the plants needed daily watering as if Debbie hadn't managed a 160 acre farm for most of her life. Then she'd hefted her bag into the pile in the bed of Carlton's truck and hopped into the cab with him and Alicia and a red headed kid who looked too young to be in the Navy. She could still remember the forced smiles that didn't reach Kara's red rimmed eyes as she made her escape. She insisted she hadn't cried all night over that scuba diver, but Debbie knew the truth. She had hardly talked at dinner the night before and she had been full of false cheer during the waffles and bacon Debbie had cooked her for a sendoff feast. Just like her father, that one always tried to hide her pain. But a mother knows.

Eight weeks ago Kara had called to tell her mother they would be out of contact for at least four months. It wouldn't be the first time they went that long without contact, but it would be the first since Eric had died. Eric had been her happy accident, the reason why she ever even settled down and had a family. Kara had been her gift. A surprise that had kept her going when she'd been almost ready to throw in the towel. That day had been a gift too as they'd actually texted quite a bit until the ship turned away from the Icelandic coast. Debbie was sure something was going on, not that Kara would tell her. But she didn't normally seek out conversation with her mother that much unless something was weighing on her mind. Debbie had spent the rest of the week drinking herself into a stupor. What did it matter if she wanted to be there for her, to comfort her? She couldn't do it from here. Besides, Kara would be over it by the time she got home. She was just like her father in that way too, never one to let anything come between herself and a job.

Six weeks ago Debbie had run out of booze and food. She washed herself up, hoping she looked at least half presentable, to haul herself down to the Winn Dixie. When she first slid behind the wheel of Kara's car, an old Honda, she had to adjust the rear mirror for her own height. Glimpsing the empty back seat had given her a flash memory of the five of them, crowded in together, on the test drive. Butch and Eric had complained about the head room. Sean said the light blue color was for sissies. Kara had sat wedged on the hump seat, beaming because it had a sunroof. Debbie ended up pulling over at a bowling alley for a much needed ugly cry. A nice man knocked on the window and asked if she was OK but she'd waved him away. "All my kids drove this car. Just missing them is all." He'd smiled knowingly and introduced himself as Peter, inviting her to join the bowling league.

"We play two games every Wednesday night for ten weeks and then we have a championship. There's free beer and pizza and everyone is our age." He looked healthy and strong, and she thought he was being nice, including her in his age group. So she declined as politely as she could. By the time she got to the grocery store she was already second guessing herself. What was it about her, and now Kara too, that made her feel like she didn't deserve to get to know a nice guy like that?

By the time she got to the grocery store she was exhausted and sweating and already thinking about the next bottle. She decided to stock up so she could avoid going out as long as possible. Halfway through the store she realized she was shopping for a family of five. Her cart was full to the brim with all the things she used to buy instead of the Lean Cuisine and Diet Coke that she and Kara lived on now. What was she going to do with fresh veggies and meat and gallons of milk? She was too tired to put it all back so she piled frozen meals into the bottom of the cart and bought it all. A quick stop at the liquor store and then she was headed to Kara's apartment. She thought of the farm, windows shuttered, land leased out, equipment gone. She still couldn't bring herself to call the apartment home.

Four weeks ago the rumors had started. First it was vague news stories about a mystery disease in the middle east. One of the neighbors came to ask if Kara knew anything about it and he turned out to be Peter from the bowling alley. They talked a while but it seemed that no one he knew was too worried. Peter cooked her dinner though, and she went an entire evening without drinking a drop. The next day she decided to repay him with batch of cookies so off to the grocery store she went. She filled her cart again only to bump into him doing the same. She gripped the handle of that cart, praying he wouldn't see that she had the shakes and lose interest. By the end of the week they were spending all their time together and he had convinced her to try that bowling league. She even skipped the free beer.

Two weeks ago the rumors had turned out to be true. She was at the grocery store trying to find a special chocolate Peter claimed was the secret ingredient in his world famous birthday cake. The rack of newspapers by the coffee stand was filled with headlines that the WHO was quarantining cities in Africa and Asia. Everyone at the party that night said it would never come to the States. But that wasn't what scared her. She knew Kara and Carlton had worked in Africa before. What if that was really where they were? After nearly thirty years with Butch and then fifteen with Eric, she knew better than to believe anything they told her about where they were going or what they were doing. Debbie tried calling Kara's number several times that week but she always got the same "leave a message and I'll reply in September" recording. She never left a message. She wouldn't want Kara to worry.

One week ago the first case of the Red Flu had been confirmed in the US. A man had evaded quarantine in Hong Kong and returned home to Chicago, unfortunately via LAX. People were going insane. The grocery store was empty in 48 hours. She tried to convince Peter to come with her to Kansas, to isolate themselves on the farm. Butch had always said it was the safest place he'd ever been. But Peter argued that traveling across country would expose them to far more people and chances to catch it. Besides, if Kara came home, where would she go? In the end, Debbie had chosen to stay.

Calling Vince had been a desperate measure but Connie Green had never been a woman to just roll over and die quietly. Admiral Green would have claimed he didn't know, or that he wasn't able to divulge, but she knew Vince would never try to pull that crap with her. He hadn't lied to her the day she asked why her husband was keeping a second apartment he paid for in cash, or when she asked why an urn labeled "Tarne" had showed up out of the blue one day. So she trusted him to give it to her straight.

She stared across the room at the large picture of Danny hung over her mantle. He was clad in blue footie pajamas, holding the puppy they'd given him for his 5th Christmas. He had been that kind of kid with a smile that could melt hearts, and make you forget why you were mad when he misbehaved. "Vince, I know he's gone somewhere. He's got that damn picture of Hawaii up on his Facebook profile again." She coughed into her sleeve leaving a few smears of bloody mucus on her pink silk tweed jacket. A few days ago she'd have changed and dispatched a maid to the cleaners immediately. Like everything else in her Manhattan apartment, it didn't really matter anymore.

"Now Connie, you know I'm retired and..." Even over the phone she could tell he wasn't putting up a very strong fight.

"Vincent Carl Drazinski, don't you mess with me. I'm dying and I want to know where my only flesh and blood is before I go so quit stalling."

He sighed. "Are you sure? Have you seen a doctor?"

"I'm sure. Now tell me whatever you know so I can die in peace."

"Have you talked to Richard in the last few weeks?" He asked.

"Richard?" As far as she knew he still had no sway over Danny's career. "No, I haven't talked to him in years. Why? What does he have to do with anything?"

There was another big sigh. She could just see Vince turning his head to silently swear at being left to do her ex-husband's dirty work yet again before returning to the speaker. "Richard said he'd call you so you wouldn't worry. He's on a destroyer in the Arctic. Top secret kind of thing. Dick finagled it somehow. His new girlfriend's there too."

"How old is she?"

If Vince thought it was a strange question he didn't say. "Kara? She just made Lieutenant so I'd guess about 27. Why?"

"You mean to tell me that my 78 year old ex has managed to snag himself a 27 year old girlfriend and sequester her on a destroyer in the middle of a global pandemic?" She could hear the shrill note in her voice but she was past caring.

"No!" Vince was quick to correct her. "No Lieutenant Foster is Danny's girlfriend. They are both in the Arctic. Probably the safest place to be right now."

Danny was alive, and safe. She felt a little of the anxiety that had been coursing through her dissipate. "Danny has a girlfriend? When did this happen? And how come I am the last to know?"

Vince chuckled. "I don't know how long but he probably didn't tell you because they were still in the can't-keep-their-hands-to-themselves-stage. No man wants to tell their mother about that. They borrowed a boat from me over memorial day weekend...and let's just say she has him hook, line, and sinker...and she looked just about as badly caught herself."

She closed her eyes and felt the hot sting of tears. She wasn't a religious woman but in that moment she thanked God or whoever that he wasn't alone. "Tell me what she's like. What does she look like? She's Navy too?" Maybe this one could last. Dick's 1st and 3rd wives already had grandkids but she'd all but given up on Danny. But a girl in the Navy, she'd understand the lifestyle. She'd be able to make it work.

"She's smart and strong. Witty and quick on her feet with beautiful dark hair and big green hazel eyes. You know what..." her phone pinged and she saw a message from Vince. "That was from two days before they deployed." She recognized Vince's marina in the picture. Danny was leaning casually against the deck railing of Vince's little shack, a tiny woman tucked under his arm. She saw what Vince had meant about being hooked. The woman had one hand on her son's chest and was gazing up at him with a glowing smile which Danny was returning. Nearly thirty years may have passed, but that smile was the exact same one he wore on her mantle. The tears flowed a little faster now.

"Looks pretty real, don't it?" Vince said.

"Yeah," It came out as a sob. "Yeah, it does. What's her name again?"

"Kara, Kara Foster. Looked up her record. She'll be able to keep our boy in line. Top of her class at the Academy, on the fast track to command." Vince sounded like a proud father himself. She gazed at the picture trying to build an idea in her head of what the woman was like.

"Where's she from?" She wanted to know everything. What did her voice sound like? Was she shy or outgoing? Was she witty like Danny? Did she like sports? They would never meet in person but she would damn well eek every last bit of intel out of Vince that she could.

"Kansas, but she has an apartment with her mother in Norfolk." They chatted for a while until she began to feel the fatigue of her illness wearing on her. Her assistant hadn't shown up since Thursday and the maid had called to say she wouldn't be coming anymore just this morning. She wanted to keep talking but she hardly had the strength to hold the phone to her ear. Still it felt like hanging up would be like cutting off her last connection to the world and she wasn't ready to let go yet.

"She looks like a nice girl. You really think it's real?"

"She is Connie. You would adore her." He snorted. "It's real alright. She orders around The Fuzz."

"He lets her boss his dog?" She was stunned. From the day that dog had picked her son, he'd never willingly left his side. And after what happened in Kandahar with Tarne, she'd been glad to know he had a protector of sorts.

"I'm not sure the boy lets her so much as Halsey does. Trust me, it's the real deal."

Vince was saying he was heading out in one of his boats. "Figure the remaining people are going to get real squirrelly for a while. If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna do it at sea."

"Vince, I gotta go now."

"Yeah, yeah I'm really sorry Connie." They were silent on the phone together.

"If you ever see Danny again, can you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"You make sure he knows he was the best thing that ever happened to me." Her voice cracked and she couldn't catch her breath long enough to go on.

But Vince waited. "It's OK Connie. It's OK." He soothed. "He knows how much you love him. That boy has always known and he loves you too."

She finally swallowed past the thick metallic lump in her throat. "I know he does. But it's important that he know that it's OK for it to be hard. I hid so much of that awful time from him. I made it look like my marriage was easy come, easy go."

"Geez Connie. It was the '80s and everyone was getting divorced. He's not like Richard, you have to know that. He won't give up."

"But if people survive this, it's not going to be easy. He has to know that no matter what, we did what we could for him."

"Like I said, he knows."

"Vince, just in case that bastard Dick didn't tell him..."

"Yeah?"

"Make sure he knows his father put him on that ship. He should know how much Dick loved him too."

"I will. I'll tell him everything."

She was so tired now. "Do you have intel on her mother? You said she's in Norfolk?"

"Yeah? She's a widow, two older sons already dead. Why you want to call her?" Vince was clearly worried for her now.

"No. Send her that picture. She should have it too. She should see it and know."

"I'll do my best."

Tired yet satisfied because if anyone could get the job done, Vince could, she signed off. "Bon Voyage Vince. Good luck on your next adventure."

"Right back at you Connie. Good luck on your next adventure too." The phone went dead and she lay there, curled on her sofa feeling too weak to move, even to go to her bed.

After she dozed a bit, dreaming of little dark haired babies she'd never hold, she pulled up the picture again. She looked at Danny and saw the tiny little being she had once held in her arms. She'd been just 23 when the nurse at the base hospital had laid him in her arms for the first time. He'd been wrapped in a tiny blanket covered in multicolored anchors, a little blue stocking cap pulled low over his wrinkled brow. She had trembled in panic when he cried. "What do I do? He's clean and fed. Why can't I make him happy?" Her husband, already a grandfather twice over and therefore infinitely more experienced with children than her, had plucked him from her arms. "Our job is to love him and make sure he's safe. You can't make him happy. He has to figure that out for himself. It's all we really can do." And so she had. And now finally he'd found someone to pass that on to himself. Kara. She rolled the name around in her head as she gazed at the picture. Her baby was safe and he was loved. Her job was done.

Debbie was startled when her phone dinged to alert her to a text message. Peter was sitting beside her on his little balcony so she couldn't imagine who it was from. The gals in Kansas had stopped messaging pretty quickly once she wasn't around to party with anymore and she hardly knew anyone in Norfolk yet. She swiped her finger over the screen and saw that she had received a text from a local number she didn't recognize. Cautiously she opened it to find the simple message. "Have hope." Confused and slightly afraid it was just a computer virus, she showed it to Peter. "Do you think it's safe to open the attachment?"

"What's the worst that can happen? It crashes your phone and you have to get a new one?" She bit her lip. She supposed she could always leave Kara a message with a new number. She tapped the screen and held her breath, waiting for the image to open. It was Kara and her scuba diver beau. The photo was captioned "Lieutenant Danny Green, USN and Lieutenant Kara Foster, USN. Two days before deploying on the USS Nathan James, June 11, 2014. Her heart nearly stopped.

Peter took the phone from her shaking hands. "Is this your daughter?"

"Yes, but I don't know who sent it or why or anything. I don't know what they are trying to tell me." She leaned into him, letting him support her weight as she gazed at her daughter.

"Who's the guy?"

"Danny. She was seeing him before she left but I thought she broke it off. And I distinctly remember her saying he was not Navy. I wonder if she was afraid I wouldn't approve?"

Peter started thumbing to her message log. "Let me reverse search the number." He tapped something in with his thumbs and then frowned.

"What? Is it bad?" Her stomach was in her throat. With all the terrible news swirling around she felt like it could be anything.

"No, it's just unlisted." He tapped a little more and after a moment her phone dinged. "He says he's a just a friend of Danny's family. As far as he knows they are still with each other in the arctic, alive and well." He flipped the screen around so she could see the text. She read and then let go of the screen, sagging into him again.

"I hope this is for real, that it's not just some cruel joke." She couldn't help it. It was her nature to question everything. It had felt like fate had been laughing at her for so long.

Peter hugged her tighter and she let the heat of his body sink into her, relaxing her. "Let's just take this one day at a time. Unless we hear otherwise, we should assume all is well. Tomorrow we can go down to the the Naval offices and make a few inquiries if you want." He handed her phone back, the picture now set as the background. "Come on, I'll make us some dinner. We're over the halfway point. I say it's high time we start planning them a welcome home party."


	34. Chapter 34 - Sweetest Taboo

This chapter doesn't need any foreplay.

**Sweetest Taboo, Sade**

She was not going to make it. This wasn't going to work. Kara withdrew her hand, slick with her own wetness, and huffed in defeat. She take six more weeks of lying sleepless in her bunk all night fantasizing about Danny when she knew he was just steps down the p-way. She slumped back against her pillow and brushed her hair back off her flushed face. She was worked up and sweaty and aching for him. And she wasn't going to come knowing he was so close yet she was denying herself. Damn it. She tried to settle back down, just give up and go to sleep. But her core was throbbing and dripping wet and she had already brought herself to the brink only to find she just couldn't get that last bit to completion. After being so close to him the other day, feeling his hair beneath her fingers and the heat of his body as she leaned over him, she had felt more free to use him in her fantasies, but that freedom had backfired. No amount of squeezing her legs together and admonishing herself to just forget it was going to soothe her now. This was the third night in a row of failure and for crying out loud all she was getting out of her efforts was a sore vag and more fatigue.

She tossed off her blanket and leaned against the outer partition hoping the cool temperature would help. But it didn't help at all. Her skin felt extra sensitive and she craved contact. She rolled over and cuddled her pillow. Nope, her rock hard nipples burned as they pressed into the firm mattress. She checked the time on her ipod, 0130 hours. Damn, Damn, Damn. She really needed to sleep. At this rate she'd only get 5 hours of sleep at the most, and that was assuming she skipped her morning workout.

A vision of sleeping people in the staterooms around hers flashed through her head. Yeah, think about the grossness of some of those staterooms. It worked last night, the dirty clothes on the floors; the snoring, drooling ensigns; the smell of dirty feet and the linens of smokers. She thought of that stupid kid from ship's services who probably didn't wash his hands after cleaning toilets. Eww. That helped. She felt significantly less turned on. She started thinking about the junior officers staterooms with 4 bunks. God what must go on behind those jerk curtains; the socks under the mattresses, the girly mags tucked in the shelves with lotion and tissues. Revulsion at the thought of her laundry ever mingling with theirs ran down her spine with an ugly shiver. Yep, she had succeeded in shutting down her interest and she would be able to sleep now.

She turned on her side and pulled her blankets closer. The soft flannel of Danny's shirt rubbed her cheek and of course with it came a vision of Danny, hair tousled, sheets twisted, one strong arm slung across the pillow above his head, the luxurious feel and sounds of him sleeping next to her, the soft whisper of breath over her ear rhythmically soothing her, the cozy warmth where their legs curled together, and the security in his arm holding her close against his chest. The heat of his skin beneath her fingers as she…

Damn, her body was wide awake again. Restlessly she swung her feet over the edge and felt the shock of the cold linoleum beneath her feet. She rose and started pacing in the dim light of her digital clock. Step, step, step turn. The room was a little small but maybe some physical activity would shake her out of it. Step, step, step. She couldn't surf the Internet so porn was out of the question. Turn, step, step, step. She had some erotica on her Kindle but she knew she'd just stay up all night reading for the happy ending and end up tired and unsatisfied in the morning. Turn, step, step, she could try to really tire herself out. She dropped to the floor and started doing push ups, then crunches, then leglifts...nope. All she could think of was working out with Danny. He liked to wear this gray microfiber shirt that clung to all the right places, and when the sweat started to mat down the hair at the back of his neck...back to pacing. Step, step, step, it was 0145. He was probably sleeping. Turn. He wouldn't appreciate the interruption. Step, step, but, step, just once might get it out of her system. Turn. She was probably making a much bigger deal out of him just because she was tempted but couldn't have him. Step, step, step. Yes, ordinarily brushing elbows with someone handsome in the wardroom wouldn't give her a shiver. And even a few weeks ago she wasn't getting melty at the sound of Danny's voice on the comm. Turn, step, step, her body had just gotten spoiled back in Norfolk. If they just had one last round, she could put this craving back into proportion until they got home. Her hand was on the door. One last stab of indecision washed through her. The bells for 0200 sounded. Her mind was made up and she turned the knob.

Kara opened the door. The corridor was empty. The dim red lights barely reaching Danny's doorway at the end of the passage. She marched that way before she could lose her nerve. When she passed the head she glanced back over her shoulder. No one was around to see her so she kept going. She reached his door. She knew his schedule like a lovesick middle schooler. Frankie would have Halsey with him on watch until 0700 so she didn't have to worry about the dog. But, if she knocked, someone else might hear, so she tried the knob. The door swung in quietly and she stepped in, immediately locking it behind her.

His tiny closet of a room was pitch black but she heard him sit up and swing his feet over the edge immediately. "Kara, what's wrong?" His voice was husky with sleep and she felt a small twinge of regret for waking him up. Still he would likely enjoy her plans enough to forgive her for it later. She stepped forward in the dark, one hand cautiously outstretched where she thought his body should be.

"Hi." She whispered. Her hand met warm, taut flesh and she continued forward sliding over the firm muscles of his upper chest and over his shoulder until she was holding his shoulder blade and sitting astride his lap. "how did you know it was me?

"Who one else on this ship would tiptoe in barefoot without knocking?"

She felt him harden underneath her which reminded her what she'd come for. She captured his lips in a kiss as his hands gripped and slid up her thighs to her lower back with only the briefest of pauses when he discovered she was bare beneath the shirt.

"I assume you didn't just wander the p-way in a nightshirt and nothing else to say hi to me?" His low voice thrilled her.

"I couldn't sleep. I was, um, hoping you could help me with that." His muscles froze, tense and unyielding beneath her fingers.

"What happened to following the rules and your spotless career and all that?" Even as he was asking he was nibbling his way along the underside of her jaw.

Her skin rejoiced at the soft bite of his teeth. Her back was arching to offer more of herself of its own accord. A soft moan punctuated her reply. "Just once. I just need to get you out of my system just this once so I can go back to normal. And there's very little risk in one night." Ha, very little risk indeed. If she was going to grant him one opportunity between now and whenever they made it back to port, she was going to be damned sure that he had something significant to think about every night between now and then.

He began undoing the buttons on the soft flannel, kissing her exposed skin as he went. She took that as a sign of agreement so when he stopped and slid her off his lap and back onto her feet she couldn't hold back a little mew of disappointment. "What?"

"Do you have condoms?" He whispered as he stood.

"No, I assumed you would have some." To be honest, she had been too consumed by her own need to give it any thought.

"Hold on, close your eyes."

"Close my eyes?" Now she was really confused.

"I need the light."

She closed her eyes and wrapped the unbuttoned shirt around her as she stood in the middle of the room. She heard him rummaging around in a locker. "Found it."

She had to laugh. After their first night at his apartment he had bought a giant box and made jokes about never running out. "What kind of boyscout only brings one condom for a trip that could be 6 months long?"

"The kind that wasn't expecting to see YOU again until this trip was over."

Oh. Oh my. She was stunned. And thrilled. And scared half to death because that was serious and he'd said it so confidently.

She heard the click of the light switch and then he was wrapping an arm around her and pulling her towards him. When they were pressed hip to hip and she had threaded her hands into his hair to pull him close for a deep kiss she still wasn't really sure what to say. "Danny Green, you are either the craziest man I've ever met or the best."

"And you are the sexiest thief I've ever met." He turned her back to the bed and slid his hands to her bare hips still holding her against his hardness. "Duck." was the only warning she had before he easily lifted her to sit on the edge of the top bunk.

"What are you doing? We cannot both fit up here with the low..." His teeth grazed the inside of her thigh cutting off her question as he stepped between her knees and slid her calves over his broad shoulders.

His voice sounded muffled against her soft skin but she could feel his mouth curve into a broad grin. "I only have one condom and you've said there will only be one night, I plan to make the most of it." Her breath left her in a gust. She had thought she was worked up before, but now she was teetering on the edge and he had hardly touched her.

"Oh?" All her senses were narrowed on to the point where she longed for him to touch her. She wanted this so badly and she knew she could trust him; she wouldn't be left hanging. Damn, this man was going to ruin her for anyone else but she couldn't help herself.

"Mmmmhumm" she felt his stubble at the juncture of her leg and mound as he replied. "When I am done with you, you'll have no trouble sleeping soundly."

Her muscles tensed in anticipation as he palmed her buttocks and spread her wider. She was ready. God was she ready. She strained toward his warm breath trying to make contact between her heated flesh and his lips. When he didn't get on with it she leaned up on her elbows. Ok, she knew she was getting impatient but she wanted him so much.

"Can you stay quiet?" It was a serious question but she heard a hint of humor in his voice.

She gulped. She wasn't a screamer by any means but she wasn't silent either. "I'll do my best?"

"Ok then." He placed one large callused palm on her abdomen and eased her back down as her skin quivered beneath his touch. The first touch of his lips to hers sent a shock through her. She was instantly as tight as a bow against his mouth. She had expected him to return to teasing her and now her inner voice was crying out in delight. Her outer voice made a sound like the air being let out of a balloon. It wasn't very ladylike and she giggled. "I'll...try...harder."

After a few moments of the delightful stroking with his tongue he came up for air. As he eased a finger into her he mock scolded her. "So wet."

"I um, well I had started without you." She admitted softly.

"Oh, so I'm just the after dinner coffee?" Even the feel of his breath was increasing the deep coil of tension that had been building for what felt like hours.

"More like.." she was having trouble whispering as he added a second finger and began a slow rhythmic circling of her clit that he knew would have her at his mercy in minutes. "A main course after…a disappointing attempt at an appetizer?"

He was smoothing her slickness over her clit with his thumb now. "I have a hard time believing you haven't figured out how to do this all yourself." She was glad it was dark because it took away some of the vulnerable feeling that came with such intimate conversation.

"Sometimes, you just don't…." His hand on her abdomen had moved again to hold her still by one hip and she realized how she had been rocking against his other hand. She didn't care. It felt so good, so free. "…Care to dine alone when there are…"The moment of her release was almost upon her and she both wanted it to arrive and wanted the moment to stretch out as far as possible. "Such good companions available."

"Well, I'm certainly hungry." He returned to gently plucking her with his lips. The urge to pour herself out into his mouth and hands hit like a thunderbolt. It felt as if the spot inside that he was massaging so maddeningly slowly was swelling against his hand and she arched to press into him more firmly. At the same time, the heat of his mouth drew her to an exquisite point where everything else fell away except the feel of his body on hers. She felt him draw her orgasm out of her and she couldn't hold back a low groan of satisfaction. She was sure even if it hadn't been pitch black she would have been blind anyway.

As she drifted back to reality she heard him opening the condom wrapper and felt him lifting her over the edge of the bed. Her body was pliant and her muscles weak as he gathered her into his arms and then lowered them both without a whisper of sound. She marveled at his strength as he smoothly shifted them into the lower rack. The feel of him entering her was overwhelming in an unanticipated way. It was both familiar and new at the same time. The wonderful pressure of his chest with the rapid pounding of his heart so close to hers was so welcome, so right. She wrapped her legs behind him to take him deeper and realized she was still sensitive, still pulsing around him. He kissed her forehead, her eyelids, her lips, her jaw. "God I've been waiting for this for weeks." He murmured as he shifted on one elbow so he could take one pebbled nipple into his mouth. Her hands gripped his shoulders as a wave crashed through her anew.

Panting, she pushed him back a little. "Slow down."

His breath danced over the skin at her collarbone as he drove into her again. "Can't"

"Yeah but, this is it for the next.." She tried to argue with him but another long shuddering stroke had her catching her breath.

"47 days and probably about 17 hours….not that I've been counting." He relaxed against her just a tiny fraction and she seized the opportunity to pull his head toward hers, capturing his lips.

She smoothed her hands over the planes of his back, running them down the muscular columns in long sweeping motions. When they broke apart she smiled against his lips. "Shhhh, I need to reacquaint myself with every inch of you." Still locked together she kissed his neck, his chest, his shoulders where they framed her face. His skin was hot, taut, and salty. She lifted his hand and kissed each finger, lightly biting the rumpled skin on the back of one knuckle, feeling the freckles under her tongue.

"Kara" He warned. "I can't…"

"Yes you can." Her tone was final. She needed this to last. "Tomorrow we have to go back to normal." Whatever the hell that was. They'd have to pretend that this had never happened. But right now, when her entire world had contracted down to this cocoon in the darkness, it was her turn to make the most of it for him. "And if we have to wait for weeks again I damn well am going to make sure you're joining me for desert."

"You don't think stretching it out over nine weeks was long enough? Trust me, it's good. It's all good." But she couldn't relent now that she had set her mind to it. Rising above him she grabbed the underside of the rack above and resisted when he tried to pull her closer. She sensed the moment he accepted her edict as his grip on her hips relaxed to guide her rather than pull her closer. She rolled her hips against his once and heard his breathing check. She did it again and his heartbeat, which she could already feel pounding inside her quickened. Slowly they moved together in the darkness. She memorized every breath, every twitch of muscle fiber, every taste of skin. When she reached the point where she didn't think she could hold herself up any longer, she bent her head and kissed him from under the curtain of her hair, letting him hold her up instead.

A huge wave was sweeping up in her, lifting her and sweeping her along and she was helpless to resist. She felt it catch in her throat and she realized it wasn't just a physical feeling of being overwhelmed but an emotional one. Everything was different now. Now she didn't just know who he was based on a few hours or a few days alone together. Now she knew who he was from how he interacted with her own friends. She knew he treated people right, did a job right the first time, cared how people around him felt, how she FELT.

She grasped him by the shoulders and held him firm as she ground her hips against him again and again. He let out a hiss into her mouth but didn't argue again. She used her legs, already wrapped tightly around him to rock against him ever so slightly. Slowly, slowly she quickened the pace until he was burying his face in her neck and begging her. She wanted him to feel as undone as she did. She wanted him to lose touch with reality and come back to her, only her. The reality that she didn't know anyone she wanted to spend time with, create joy with, more than him crashed over her with one final life altering wave. This was it. This was the moment she wanted to live in. She realized that she wanted to be his focus the way he had become hers. She couldn't have said if the tears that silently leaked from her eyes were joyous or sorrowful, only that they were an unstoppable force, because she could not hold herself back any longer.


	35. Chapter 35 - No One Like You

**No One Like You, Scorpions**

Two weeks later Kara could hardly believe she had managed to resist Danny for nine weeks, or that she had thought she could break the rules just once and then go back to holding him off for the remaining weeks. They had quickly realized that there weren't too many places for a serious tryst but had found lots of nooks and crannies aboard for a stolen kiss or two. After the first night she also realized the risk of being caught in his room improperly dressed. So now, whenever she entered or exited, she did so properly uniformed and with a small treat for Halsey in her hand in case she needed an excuse for being there.

Kara was lying contentedly curled half on top of him after a particularly spectacular bout of lovemaking when it suddenly struck her that Danny must have acquired condoms somewhere. A sudden flash of panic had her struggling to sit up in alarm.

"Aughhhh, Jesus watch where your putting those knees!" He exclaimed with a grunt.

"Have you told anyone about us?" She whispered from somewhere near the vicinity of his hip.

"No, of course not. What's got you worrying about that?

"Well, two weeks ago you were saying we only had one condom. It suddenly occurred to me that they didn't appear out of no where."

Danny shifted to fit up against the pillow. "I took care of it."

Kara took an edifying breath to prepare herself for the chance that Danny hadn't thought his actions through as carefully as she had hoped. "How? You're not getting them from Dr. Rios's fishbowl, are you?" Given that it was pitch dark, she knew she couldn't watch his face to see how honest he was with his reply but that didn't stop her from staring intently at the space where she expected it to be.

She felt him slide his hands under her. She had learned that even in the pitch black he had the unnerving ability to know exactly where she was. "No, of course not." He pulled her so she was sitting on his lap, her back against the long wall of the bunk and his against his pillow and the shelf at the head. Her hair brushed the bottom of the bunk above and she was reminded that on a ship, everything was close, everyone knew your business. "Look Kara, I, um, I"

She was so un-used to hearing him waffle that a flicker of worry began. "You didn't give me a line about only having one condom because you were waiting to see if we'd work out and then were hoping I'd forget. Because that line was sweet and I totally fell for it." She made a move to stand but he held her in place with one rock hard forearm.

"No, no, no." He punctuated his statements by kissing her hair. "I just wanted to say that, um, I really enjoy you. I mean, not in the way that sounded." He shook his head lightly. "I really enjoy who you are. I like to be with you, whether it is talking, or not talking."

She relaxed back against him but her brows were knit in confusion. What did that have to do with his suddenly endless supply of condoms. "So, what you're saying is…"

"What I'm saying is that I wouldn't jeopardize our time together by being careless like that." He squeezed her a little tighter. "After this mission, our paths may not cross very frequently for a while unless we take desk jobs, you know. And I don't think that's the life either of us want."

"Sailing a desk? Not for me." Now she had a whole new problem to worry about. How to keep a relationship going when she spent all her time at sea and he spent his traveling from mission to mission. She made a mental note to ask Garnett about that. She was the only married woman on the ship and while Kara wasn't thinking of getting married, Andrea must have some advice for her. "So, how did you get them?"

"Well, my job description does include a lot of getting in and out of places unnoticed." There was a note of laughter in his voice and she realized he had stealthily slipped a hand under the hem of her shirt.

"Danny!" She swatted his arm. "Are you telling me that Mr. Choir boy stole condoms?" She was giggling at the thought.

"Well, sort of. I took them from Frankie's locker. He's not using them and he'll figure it out and not make a fuss if he sees they are gone."

"I can't believe you!" She shifted forward and was immediatly rewarded with the trace of his fingertips up the knobs of her spine.

"But you appreciate the outcome." He began to nuzzle her neck affectionately.

"I think I need reminding why again." She turned to meet his lips. Neither of them made it to morning PT.


	36. Chapter 36 - Hungry Like a Wolf

I haven't had a dog in years. In the last two years we've gone from two house rabbits (cutest things ever but be prepared to vacuum daily) and two cats to just one cat. Old age sucks for pets too. My littlest suddenly wants a dog but I don't think I can do it. When my childhood dog died, it just about broke my heart. Plus I just about broke my bank account between the vet bills and the speeding ticket I got on the Taconic as I rushed away from the animal hospital. I still miss her gray haired face.

**Hungry Like a Wolf, Duran Duran**

Burk nudged Danny at the breakfast table. "Woman is trying to turn the loyalty of your dog man." Kara froze, one hand under the flap of her front waist pocket. She was wedged between Danny and Cruz. One thigh comfortably heated by Danny's. Across from her, Burk was doing his best to stir up trouble.

"Would you stop doing that?" Danny swung around to level a glare on her.

"What?" Kara tried to feign innocence but she had just been caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar so a half smile was slipping past her attempted poker face.

"You know what. You're putting bacon in your pocket again, aren't you. Now you've even got Frankie feeding him treats. Are you two trying to distract Halsey from his job so that we'll get blown to bits and Frankie can take my job?"

Her eyes shot to Danny's in alarm as she took her hand back out of her pocket. "No! I would never do that." My God, he really did think either of them was that mercenary? The man couldn't even see what was right in front of him apparently. Under the table, Halsey licked her fingers clean.

"That's cold Kara, even Chandler wouldn't be that cold. Taking a man's dog." Cruz was trying not to laugh as he shook his head.

Halsey backed out from under the table he whined and cocked his head expectantly, still following her every movement. They continued to eat, ignoring the begging dog. When he didn't give up, Danny sighed. "Well, just, don't get him too fat that I can't carry him. And not at breakfast right before I take him out for some training or he really does get bored with what I've got."

She cocked a brow. "You should try bacon. He likes it better than that jerky you give him."

"It's not jerky." Danny rolled his eyes. "It's a bait, specially formulated for his teeth."

"I've seen you eating it." Burk leaned in and studied Danny's mouth. "It does look like it's good for teeth but no wonder you have girl problems back home. She probably saw you eating dog treats and decided she couldn't take kissing you anymore."

Danny rolled his eyes. "I'm not eating it. It makes him focus on my face. It's a bonding thing. Why, you been thinking about kissing me Carlton?" He shot back.

"I'm not putting it in my mouth and he's plenty bonded to me." Kara demonstrated by putting her hand in her pocket. Halsey promptly shuffled a little closer, laying his head in her lap. Danny's mind instantly went somewhere very inappropriate for the breakfast table. Well, at least the breakfast table AND everyone else. "When he stops working you're going to have to put him on a diet but hey, you'll probably lose ten pounds too. I once had a golden that was less food oriented than him and goldies are little piggies." She leaned under the table and handed the dog a treat. "Who's my little piggy now?" she cooed.

Danny slid his long legs out from the table. "I give up with you two. Just don't give him any cheese. It makes him fart up my room like a herd of cows and that really is a buzz kill."

He called the dog as he stalked away and Halsey looked to Kara for confirmation. "Go on you big moocher. Let me eat my breakfast too." He trotted away, tail held high while the table laughed in his wake.


	37. Chapter 37 - I Feel For You

It's rainy and gray today. I have a friend who's a Naval helo pilot and she got her masters about 15 years ago at the Naval Post Graduate School in Monterey. For about eight months she complained about how gray and damp it was there and then all of a sudden she was sent to Guam, so I guess she was done with cold and gray. Anyhow, that has no bearing on anything except Guam has some problems with snakes so I might prefer cold and gray. Don't worry, our young lovers will be back soon. I just got a little diverted by Frankie Benz.

**I Feel For You, Chaka Khan **

"Hey Benz you got a minute?" Commander Slattery called out as Frankie passed his office door. Damn, he thought to himself, hoping Slattery wasn't going to give him hell for assigning Miller, O'Connor, and Cossetti 1000 pushups the other afternoon. Danny had given him a hard time already, telling him the idea was to toughen them up just enough that they wanted to push themselves further, not to totally demoralize them. So Frankie had done the workout with them which he thought should be enough encouragement for them. Admittedly, he was having a hard time not complaining about his shoulders today.

"Yes Sir, what do you need?" He stood in front of Slattery's desk not quite at attention, not quite relaxed either. He hadn't figured Slattery out yet. Usually the XO was an enforcer, the one who dealt with all the officer's interactions and Slattery definitely had the personality for it. But so far, he hadn't seen or heard of him giving anyone much of a hard time.

"Have a seat lieutenant." Slattery folded his hands on his desk and something about the set of his jaw told Frankie that he didn't really want to have to talk about whatever it was he was about to say. "You know Lieutenant Green pretty well, right?" Oh Shit. He'd figured it was going to be trouble eventually but he'd really hoped to stay out of it.

"Well yeah, we've been all over the world together. I joined red team right outta training and we've been in the same group for close to 10 years now, why?" He hoped it was something else, anything else.

"Are there any unwritten discipline problems, you know, the kinds of things that another command might let slide if an officer is doing a good job otherwise. Anything I should know?" Slattery raised his eyes and Frankie wasn't sure if he already knew something or was just looking.

Shit. Shit. Shit. When he was six Frankie had lied to his Mama about throwing the wrapper from his after school candy bar on the ground as he walked home from the neighborhood store. She'd made him sweep the sidewalk between their house and the store after school for a week, and told everyone in the neighborhood why he was doing it. He'd promised to never ever lie again and up until now he'd kept that promise.

Choosing his words carefully he said "No, No sir. No past infractions, written or otherwise, that I know about." He made sure to meet Slattery's eyes in the hopes that would make it more convincing. Not that it wasn't true, but he didn't want to give the other man reason to look more closely at Danny.

Slattery gripped one forearm where it slashed across his desk and leaned forward. "Good good. I'm in the middle of writing up a report for the brass when we get home. Best we can figure, your team got put here to help Green flesh out the leadership skills section on his resume so he can move up."

Frankie sat deeper in his chair, relieved he wasn't being asked to tattle. "Well, you know moving O-3 to O-4 is a bottleneck for us. It takes a bit longer than for the line officers. I'll be eligible next year too but with only five or so Lieutenant Commander positions opening a year I imagine I'll have to wait a while too."

Slattery nodded with a wry smile. "Yeah, I hear you. I've got all the chops but I keep getting passed over for a command of my own too. And you know that's when Chandler left the SEALs, to get his oak leaf. That's why we want to make sure we get some good notes on record."

"Yeah well I can tell you that working with Green is great. He's a little obsessive about preparation but that's probably why we've never lost anyone in the field. The guy he replaced almost cost both of us our lives once being too aggressive. The only negative I see is that he's pretty willing to take all the responsibility, particularly if we had to bend the rules a little to get a job done." He could see that struck a chord with Slattery from the light of recognition in his eyes.

"Yeah, about that…" Slattery templed his finders and watched Frankie closely. Crap, maybe he'd just opened the door to examining Danny's character a little too wide. "So what's the deal with Lieutenant Foster then? Chandler wants me to make sure there's no serious harassment going on." Harassment? Frankie wracked his brain for any incidents that would have made Chandler think Danny was harassing Kara and came up blank. Slattery continued. "He heard she was interfering with Halsey in the mess the other day. Apparently Green left quite angry."

Frankie's eyes just about bugged out of his head. He rubbed a hand over his face, partly to hide his relief and partly out of amazement. Kara harassing Danny? That was rich. "Uh, I don't think she's really giving him too much of a hard time directly sir. She's just, well, she's in love.."Gah he was making a mess of this. If the XO got suspicious based on what he said, Danny would never forgive him. Besides, as far as he knew she was still fuming about the surprise of finding Danny here. "In love with the dog, I mean. They're just having a tiff because she thinks he doesn't reward Halsey enough. Thinks growing up on a farm makes her an expert on everything animal and unlike most people, she's not intimidated by us."

Slattery gave a bark of laughter. "Yeah, Foster doesn't let anyone make up her mind for her." If you only knew thought Frankie. "So as far as you know, there's no need for me to get involved? It wouldn't be the first time she's bruised another officer's ego."

Frankie gave a single negative nod. "Nah, they're adults. They can work it out between themselves. Besides, I'm dating one of her best friends. You know her, Georgina, she used to be a pilot on the Nathan James. Foster is kind of pissed about that too because she and her friends have this rule about not dating military. Danny stuck up for Georgina's right to know her own mind which made Kara really angry but you know she and Georgina are good friends so it will blow over eventually."

He knew he was babbling, but he realized he'd hit paydirt when Slattery smiled so wide that the deep creases beside his mouth showed. "Georgina? Really? With you? That must be something else. Is that why she got moved? Not that Kelty isn't good, but Georgie's one of the best and it would have been good to have her on this trip."

Frankie couldn't help but grin at hearing Slattery's assessment of his girlfriend's skills. "No, she got sent to some fancy schmancy class out at Naval post graduate school. Good thing or else this cruise would have been epic!"

"Hmmmmm. There are rules about that kind of thing, as you well know. And if there was even a hint of suspicion we would have been having a very different conversation than we are right now." Slattery gave him a pointed stare. "Lucky for you, the situation saved you from yourself." Slattery's gaze lost some of it's intensity and he leaned back in his chair, changing the subject. "How are things otherwise then? I imagine this has been a little less strenuous than your usual assignments."

Triumphing that he'd successfully diverted Slattery from picking apart Danny and Kara's interactions, Frankie mirrored the XO and relaxed in his chair. "Yeah, can't say I don't mind not being on guard all the time. I haven't been this rested in a long time."

"Well good. I was a little worried that we would overwork the teams. I know this scientist woman is driving you hard." Slattery looked genuinely concerned. Frankie was beginning to form his opinion of him and it was all good. They rarely stayed on a ship long enough to judge but he could tell, Slattery and Chandler were men who could get things done. "You let me know if anything changes, especially if it affects the ability of the team to do their job."

"Yes sir." Frankie left the office intent on finding Danny ASAP. He should probably know what Slattery had said and have a heads up that command was paying attention to him and Kara, even if it was for the wrong reason.

He found Danny in his room. Frankie took in the mussed hair, sock feet, and Halsey stretched out on the top bunk. "Were you sleeping in the middle of the day?" He didn't see a book or computer or anything around for entertainment.

"Just resting a bit. Gotta go out with Trophet in about.." He glanced at his watch. "..forty minutes. What's up?"

"I just had a little talk with the XO that I thought you should know about." Frankie pulled out the desk chair, noting with curiosity that Danny's flannel shirt was hanging folded over the back. Interesting, he'd lived and worked with Danny for 10 years and he'd never seen him fold a shirt and hang it that way. He always hung it as if the chair was wearing it. He looked around to see if there were other signs. The blanket and pillow from the top bunk were on the bottom instead. There were two bottles of water on the shelf under the bunk and a hair tie and bobby pins on the little counter in the wardrobe. Holy shit he thought. Things between Danny and Kara had progressed far more than even he'd expected. He motioned to the shirt. "I see you've found your shirt."

Danny sighed and sat back down on the edge of the bed, grabbing a boot. "It's complicated…and I better not say much more than that."

Frankie's shoulders shook with mirth. "Isn't it always? But that's sort of what I need to talk to you about."

Danny gave a meaningful glance toward the open door an Frankie interpreted properly, toeing it closed before continuing. "Basically, Slattery asked me why Foster was giving you a hard time in the mess the other day. He wanted to make sure she wasn't harassing you."

Danny stared back at him, not comprehending at first. "He asked you if she was harassing me?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I told him no, that you were just peeved at her for spoiling the Fuzz and I think he bought it. But I would bet he'll have an eye on you two to make sure everything is ok. I thought I'd better pass it on, in case there was something I didn't know about. And it looks like I was right." Frankie motioned around the room. "You better clean this room up before there's an inspection."

"You seriously had no idea?" Danny's eyes were wide and Frankie realized he'd assumed Frankie knew. The conversation they'd had the other day about why Danny was in such a good mood took on new meaning. He'd said he was tired out in the best way possible. Frankie had thought he meant from exercise and the physical labor of loading and unloading equipment each time they went out but now he was pretty sure he'd been referring something else. Frankie was amused to see Danny's cheeks redden. "Uh, I owe you like thirty dollars for um, supplies that I got from your bottom drawer, too."

Frankie held up a hand. "That's it, I know too much already. I'm going. Just don't be an idiot and don't get caught." He waved toward the counter. "And get rid of those bobby pins, they're a total giveaway."


	38. Chapter 38 - Every Rose has Its Thorn

Thanks you to all the people who have sent reviews recently. You make me want to wrote all day long…which I can't do because I have one of those pesky job things.

**Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Poison**

Chandler looked around his tiny office. He was sick of reading the same reports day after day. He could understand why the crew was getting bored. This mission, while easy, was a real drag. In the last two weeks he'd had to review not one or two but six different reports from Jeter on enlisted's pulling pranks. The last one, an incident involving toothpaste and the toilet seats in the officer's heads had been the final straw. This week was going to be crack down week. He shoved back his desk chair and went to find Mike.

The XO was sitting idly in his chair on the bridge. It felt reasonably warm for once with the sunlight streaming in the forward windows. "Captain on the Bridge." The watch officer announced him and everyone stood.

"At ease everyone. I'm just here to get Mike." They headed down to Jeter's office where they found him typing away on yet another incident report.

There were bags under Jeter's eyes and he looked unusually haggard. Except for the clear eyes and steady posture, it reminded Chandler of the way he'd looked back in his drinking years. "Sirs, I have determined who put salt in all the sugar dispensers and he is being disciplined as we speak."

"I hope the punishment fits the crime. I take coffee very seriously." Mike grumbled.

"Yes indeed. Bacon was thrilled to have some extra help in the kitchen. He'll be using the salt and sugar that he ruined to scrub grease scum out of the stoves and ovens this week. Hopefully he'll appreciate how hard they already work by the time he's done." Chandler could always trust Russ to turn an incident like this into a lesson well learned. When he began to fill them in on the incident Tom sighed and held up a hand. "Hold that thought since I'm going to have to read it anyways. A lot of the burden of these shenanigans has fallen on you Russ, and I think it's time we put a stop to them."

"That would be fantastic Sir." The creases around Russ's smile deepened. "What do you have in mind."

"I think it's time to shake people up a bit, keep them on their toes. Make sure we come back into port in tip top shape."

Mike's face brightened. "Time for a few inspections?"

Tom ran his hand through his hair and snagged a few strands, pulling them straight and measuring their length against his finger. "Yep, but let's not give ourselves more paperwork than we have to. We'll do a few surprises with the groups that always keep things up and let the word get out before we hit the hard cases. You guys know how this works. As soon as rumors start flying we let the officers start dropping hints about what we're looking for and by the time we get to the puppies they will be looking pretty good."

Mike nodded and glanced over Russ's shoulder to the org chart on the wall. "Ok, then I'm thinking we do a workstation run through with the CIC because Barker runs a tight operation to begin with. But we'll include uniforms and appearance so Russ, you can start spreading the word about that and remind people of the regs. Then we do the senior officer racks at some crazy hour. God help us with the paperwork if we catch anything though so we better be sure to skip the previous offenders."

It was three in the afternoon but Kara was dog tired. All her sleep for the last week had been in broken pieces. She rotated off her night watch and had dinner. Then a few hours sleep. Then she'd tiptoe to Danny's room for a few hours. Then she'd tiptoe back and sleep another hour or so. She tried to make up for the lost sleep with afternoon naps, but it wasn't enough. She supposed this is what new parents felt like. It was enough to convince her to never have children.

Days like today, when Barker called a meeting during his own assigned watch, were tougher. A wiggly blue line left incriminating evidence on her notepad that she had just nodded off during his briefing about the next weapons trial. God Barker could be so boring. After eight rounds, she was pretty sure people knew the plan. All he really had to do was tell them the new parts but noooo he had to start from the beginning every time. Only three more rounds to go after this, just 34 days, she reminded herself.

Her mind began to wander as she stared out the window on a gray and drizzly sky. She wondered how long they would stay in Norfolk when they got back. Since this last stop had been so short, she bet they stayed longer than normal. Yale had an online course in computational meteorology she'd been wanting to take. Maybe she'd be able to squeeze it in. Barker was describing the torpedo battery they would use now. It was the same as tests 3 and 6 so she spaced out again. Or maybe she should just take a vacation someplace warm. She did have enough leave time earned to go somewhere for a few weeks. She could see it in her head now, white sand beach with big thatched umbrellas, the sound of waves and palm trees rustling in the wind. They could snorkel in crystal clear water. She closed her eyes again and saw white curtains billowing out on to a private balcony, a dark ceiling fan lazily circling, mmmm and a sultry afternoon spent…

"Foster?" Barker's sharp question shattered her fantasy. "Are you ok?" The group tittered nervously and she felt the hot sting of a flush clear to her hairline. She scooted back in her chair to sit as upright as possible and fought the sudden urge to yawn.

"Yes, yes I'm fine." She stammered. "Uh, I find the midnight sun a little disruptive to my sleep cycle and this rainy day isn't helping."

Barker looked surprised but then again, sometimes she thought he was so perfect he must be a robot. "Well, if you need to stand to keep yourself awake, by all means." He indicated the back of the room.

Reluctantly she stood, careful not to utter the sigh that rose within her. A prickle of embarrassment swept her hairline. She'd never had to stand before, not even as a student. Then again, she smiled wryly to herself, the price might be worth what she'd gained from all that lost sleep. She took her place in the back of the room, determined to pay more attention. She may have swayed on her feet a little, but overall she manged to survive the rest of the meeting intact. She had to reluctantly admit to herself that she probably should make sure she slept the entire night through for once, just to catch up a little bit. It wouldn't do to mess up tomorrow just because she was tired. She resolved to break the news to Danny at her evening break. She was sure he'd be disappointed but would ultimately understand.

The first half of her shift in the CIC was no more exciting than Barker's briefing. She made some preliminary calculations for tomorrow's testing and worked on the program she was writing for Nishioka to store the weekly fire drill data. Then she drafted an email to the master at arms with some detailed info about tomorrow's testing. At 2100 hours she made her way to the foredeck to check the weather station. After she made her measurements she hustled back toward the CIC. If she was quick, she would have a few minutes for a quick kiss with Danny in the storage closet beneath the ladder leading back up to the level with the bridge and CIC.

She was rushing down the p-way when she heard someone behind her calling her name. "Lieutenant Foster? Lieutenant Foster?" she heard heavy footsteps and turned to see Seaman Yates advancing on her. She caught a glimpse of olive camo also heading her way over his shoulder.

"Yes Mr. Yates?" She knew he worked with the master at arms so she had the feeling he was going to ask her the exact things she'd put in the email already. She watched as the chubby seaman puffed to a stop.

"CPO Heller sent me to get some details about tomorrow's testing from you."

She hoped she could finish with Yates and get him to move on before Danny got there or else there would be no 9 PM rendezvous tonight. "I have an email in the works for him with all the details. But basically, we'll need the dummy boat about three miles away around 2 PM. There should be a set of target drones in a box somewhere to mount on it." Yep, that was all, move on sailor, she thought. Danny was looked angry as he approached and when he saw the younger man talking to her, his brows lowered and his scowl deepened.

Yates just stood there also frowning. "Yes but Heller was concerned about the heat signature. The instructions Barker sent say nothing about it."

Kara wanted to stomp her foot in frustration and it took all her effort to keep from matching Danny's scowl. "That's because we're testing if we can ID and get a fix on the target drones using their latent heat signatures." Danny was upon them now and she noticed his hair was curling slightly like it had been damp since the last time it was combed.

"Lieutenant, Seaman. Good evening." Kara knew he couldn't stop right where they were standing by the closet, it would look too suspicious, but she was a little surprised at how he glared at Yates.

"Ah, g, g, good evening Lieutenant Green." Seaman Yates stammered. His cheeks colored.

Kara rolled her eyes. For the life of her she couldn't figure out why the younger crew found him so intimidating. Sure, he was fit but he wasn't unusually tall like the XO or heavy like Bacon. And he looked good but she knew for a fact that Yates had a girlfriend at home so the seaman wasn't crushing on Danny either. Sure, he had some additional combat skills and experience but so did Burk and they didn't go starstruck around him. "Sorry" she mouthed to Danny while while Yates took up a sudden interest in his shoes.

Danny shrugged although she could see the disappointment in his eyes. "Later" he mouthed back. He gave a quick whistle and Halsey trotted along, leaping gracefully over each knee knocker and leaving the faint odor of wet dog in his wake.

Oblivious to the disruption he'd caused, Yates proceeded to ask her several long winded questions about what latent heat was and how the drones would have it without having their heat coils turned on. When she finally made it back to the CIC she was late and she discovered everyone standing at attention while Slattery gave their workstations an inspection. While he easily accepted her explanation that she had been answering Heller's questions via Yates, she also got a reminder to not conduct business in the p-ways but rather ask colleagues to continue to the CIC instead. Already feeling a bit of anxiety over Danny's cloudy expression, she just wanted the shift to end so she could go find out what was wrong.

After a frustrating evening without a visit with Danny, Kara hustled to the mess for some fuel and a moment to contemplate what could have possibly made him so angry. She had just sat down to a bowl of minestrone and Bernie's fresh bread when no less than four people crowded her. She just wanted to eat fast and then get to bed, so she could get up again in three hours. But, when you live and work with the same people day in and day out there is little room to be rude.

"Hey Foster, is this as warm as it gets here?" PO3 Smith took a break from slurping his soup to rope her into the conversation he had been having with Burk, Cossetti, and Frankie about working outside in the Arctic.

She suppressed a sigh and straightened up. "Pretty much. Every once in a while a mass of warmer air will move up here, but due to the cold water temperatures, it rarely gets above fifty."

Frankie snorted. "Fifty would be nice. I think I had icicles in my nose when I came in at 2200 last night. At least the rain gave us an early night." He wrapped his big hands around his bowl, enjoying the warmth.

"Well, even when the sun is up, after about three PM it starts to cool again as it gets lower in the sky. Why so late? If the rain had started to freeze it would have been treacherous out there." She tried to sound only mildly interested but here was her chance to find out what had made Danny scowl so fiercely this afternoon. "Is that why Green looked so pissed when I saw him around nine?"

Burk was shaking his head. "No, he's pissed because he pretty much had to shout before we could get Dr. Scott off the ice when it started to rain. She was yelling about not understanding the urgency of her work and he lost his temper and told her she could stay but if the conditions weren't fit for the dog then he sure as hell wouldn't keep his men out and we were going in whether she did or not."

Frankie shook his head. "Yeah, wouldn't have been a big deal but the kicker is that after we got back, she went and talked to Chandler. So sure enough, right after dinner Chandler called Danny boy into his office."

Relieved it had nothing to do with her, Kara's mood brightened. "Well, Chandler is a great negotiator. Hopefully he stood strong against Dr. Scott. He always puts the welfare of the crew first. He really doesn't like to see his people get taken advantage of." Burk was nodding in agreement.

Smith put down his spoon. "Damn it. If you saw him at nine and he was still pissed then I bet Chandler gave in to Dr. Scott. Shit," He pounded a fist on the table. "I really don't want to be a baby but the ice gets so slick when it rains that I just don't want to be out there in that. We can adjust our gear, but really, her damn birds don't seem worth the risk of someone getting injured."

"I could try to advise against it. On the basis that it's not good for people to underestimate the cold as we move away from the noon hour." She volunteered.

Frankie shook his head. "You can try but you haven't seen that woman when she is being stubborn. We practically have to physically haul her off the ice every evening as it is."

Kara headed off to bed much relieved that Danny wasn't mad at her. Whatever was going on with Dr. Scott, Chandler wouldn't allow people to be put at risk if he didn't think it was necessary. She could find out more later, but for now she really needed some sleep. She set her alarm for 3:15 and undressed for bed.

Danny woke from a deep sleep with the feeling that he was late for something. He glanced at the clock and saw it was 3:30 in the morning. He had been sleeping since 9:30 and yet he was still exhausted. He knew why. He had been replaying his conversation with Chandler over in his head. "She did admit that you told her the forecast included rain when she insisted on going up that ridge anyway. And I agree that she needs to follow directions better. Next time Foster puts rain in the forecast, I'd say you are well within your rights to refuse to go so far inland or even to authorize transport at all. You might remind her that as she is a civilian we can't stop her from doing whatever she wants, but we also are not obligated to lend her our resources or save her ass." The problem was, Danny had already figured out that Dr. Scott really would go marching off into the snow herself if she didn't see any immediate danger and that Chandler would never deny rescue to anyone who needed it. Danny would end up out there rescuing the damn scientist all the same.

He sat up. Kara was usually there by 3:30. He wondered if he had been a little too grumpy earlier. Gah, what if she thought he was mad at her? He blinked sleep from his eyes and pushed himself to his feet as his throat sank to his stomach at the thought. He'd better go apologize now before she changed her mind about this whole thing again. He shuffled into his flip flops and then opened the door.

The bright white lights in the p-way were unexpected, as was the XOs smile from where he was lounging against the bulkhead. "Ah, good morning Lieutenant Green. You can join the party." Slattery motioned to where seven or eight other people in various forms of sleepwear and an equal number in full uniform were already standing at attention along the wall.

Danny blinked against the light. "Uh, may I get the dog, Sir?"

Slattery nodded. "Good thinking, no need for him to go all guard dog and wake up the next p-way."

He opened the door wide and helped Halsey down. As he straitened from setting him on the floor he swiped a hand over the counter, sending the bobby pins to the floor. He kicked them under the bed and followed Halsey out. They took their places at the wall just as Slattery nodded to Garnett to knock on Kara's door.

"30 seconds, make yourself decent." Called out the chief engineer. There was no response so Garnett knocked again. When there was still no response she turned to Slattery with her brows raised. Danny caught the subtext. Foster would be the last person on anyone's list of people likely to not be in their bed at the appointed hour. He wanted to tell her that Kara slept like the dead, but he knew better than to make any comment. Garnett slid the master key into the door and it swung open. Further down the line Danny saw Gator, who shared the room across from Garnett's with Barker, craning his neck to see inside.

As the light splashed over her room he saw that she was sleeping face down, one leg and one arm hanging off the bed. He cringed when she started to stir and fell in a crumpled mess on the floor, one bare leg and a sliver of pink panties showing from beneath the blue shirt she was sleeping in. Gator covered his mouth but he was staring. Feeling a sudden surge of angry possessiveness, Danny gave Barker an eye nudge and the other man elbowed Gator. "Eyes forward sailor." Garnett quickly stepped inside the room pulling the door behind her but an amused, "Wow, I didn't realize you were such a sound sleeper Foster. Grab some bottoms and join us for the inspection." could be heard through the crack in the door.

A few moments later they emerged and Kara moved to take her place at the wall while Slattery knocked on to the next room to wake up Burk and Mason. She met Danny's eyes with a questioning gaze and he mouthed "Lucky.". She nodded curtly and took her place next to Halsey. In a few minutes all 14 currently off-duty residents of the P-way were lined up and Slattery and Garnett were calling them forward to review their rooms, clipboard in hand.

"Alright officers, listen up." Slattery stood by the door to the first room on the p-way. "I don't want any extra paperwork from this so it is more of a general housekeeping check, given that it was a surprise and no one had a chance to make their bed." He glanced into the first room. "Nice job on the bed though Barker." Danny was glad he'd swept the floor only two days ago. It wouldn't do to get written up for the tumbleweeds of fur that tended to accumulate. Slattery continued. "We have roughly 33 days to go so between now and when we head back to Norfolk we are going to inspect every inch of this ship. I want you all to complain a little, gloat a little, whatever you need to do to get the junior people to clean up their act before we get to them because as you know..." He pointed to Barker.

"You hate paperwork Sir?"

"Bingo!" Slattery knocked his knuckles on him clipboard. "Alright, sit tight out here and we're going to blast through these rooms. Gator, Barker, let's start in yours." The three men disappeared through the door. The rest of them relaxed slightly. Danny absently rubbed Halsey's ears and shared a commiserating glance with Burk. They were going to be wrecked in the morning but they would still have to take Dr. Scott out for her crazy quest.

Garnett motioned to Kara and Alicia. "Come on. We'll get yours over with." They passed back into the room and Danny heard Garnett asking the women to open lockers and lift their mattress and otherwise display that they kept the room clean and items properly stowed. Then the two women stood with their backs to the open door as Garnet began checking off her list on the clipboard. "What's all this fabric in your trash about? That trash can should be emptied daily."

He watched Kara's loose hair gleam as she nodded. "Ah yes ma'm. That's my fault. They are just scraps, from my sewing projects." He wondered what she was sewing now. He knew she had sewn that scarf for him but it seemed like an oddly domestic hobby for a woman who could run complex equations in her head and take out a target from 500 yards. "Very good on the housekeeping in general though Foster, Granderson."

Garnett shut the door to view behind and then opened it again. For a few moments, all they could hear was the sound of Garnett shutting lockers as she moved around the small room. "You know better than to leave laundry hanging from the end of the bed." Garnett tsk tsked. The hand he had buried in Halsey's fur froze. He had left his shirt there a few days ago and not had the chance to recover it. He was an idiot for not passing Frankie's warning on to her. He held his breath waiting for Garnett to notice but she just kept on going. "Floor is clean. Nothing untoward in the lockers, no evidence of food or insects. Liquids stored in closed bottles." He let out his breath as Andrea appeared in the doorway, relieved that she hadn't seen the nametag or processed the fact that Kara would be swamped in a shirt that size. "These sewing scissors need to be in a locker Foster, not on your desk. If we hit rough water they could be dangerous."

"Yes Ma'am." There was a note of relief in her voice as well. He wondered if she had been standing there, willing the other woman not to look too closely at the shirt.

Garnett passed back out into the narrow p-way, holding his shirt. "Last but not least, Lieutenant Green, can you explain why these lovely ladies have your shirt in their room?" Kara's head whipped around and he could see the total panic in her face.

His mouth went dry. He could feel 12 other pairs of eyes bearing down on him. Shit. What a stupid way to get caught. He drew a blank on what to say.

"It's my fault Ma'am." Alicia interjected, turning to face Garnett. "Green asked if one of us could sew on a patch for him and I tossed it there and forgot to tell Kara about it." She gave him a glare that said I'm only covering for Kara, not you. That was ok with him. He was just grateful she was such a quick thinker.

"Ah yes Ma'am. I heard Foster could sew." He offered Garnett an apologetic smile.

She just scowled and thrust his shirt back to him. "Lieutenant Green. The women on this ship are not here to be your personal assistants." Her cheeks were more pinched than usual and he had no doubt he had offended her.

"Yes Ma'am." He did his best to look contrite as he accepted the shirt from her out thrust arm. Over her shoulder he could see Alicia smirking at him. Yeah, he owed her.

"Come on, we'll do your room next." Garnett waved and hustled toward his open door. "Imagine, a grown man, 10 years in the Navy, needing help sewing a patch. Don't they teach you that in boyscouts?" Behind him he heard Mason barely hold in a titter. As he and Halsey returned to his room to accept what was sure to be a very thorough inspection he caught a commiserating look from Lieutenant Chung. "At least it doesn't look like you're expecting your Mommy to come in here and clean!" Garnett tapped her pencil on her clipboard and he took his place by the door. It was going to be a long, long day tomorrow too.


	39. Chapter 39 - How Will I Know

My car was broken into last night, in my own driveway, and I'm pissed and frustrated and if I had any talent for punching things I might try it. How dare anyone touch my precious bejeweled minivan? Seriously, in the 35 states and provinces we've been to together, the only other times Arlene has felt this violated was when some teens egged her back when we lived near Detroit. Oh and that time someone in Dearborn ripped off her fog lights. (I mean really, how hard is it to get car parts in Dearborn? Honestly, I wish they'd take the whole damn car. I've been coveting new fog lights for like five years.

So anyhow, I'm trying to remind myself of the good things in life. Danny may have the emotional IQ of a cereal box but sometimes cereal boxes hold something that's both sweet and good for you, like Honeycomb and Raisin Bran.

**How will I Know, Whitney Houston**

"So, how many more do we have?"

Danny's chest rumbled with a deep sigh. Kara heard the bristle of his stubble as he scrubbed his hand over his face. "Three more, and one is ancient so its use should be, probably be when, ahm, we don't think we'd need it anyway."

"Geez, guess we better pace ourselves. We still have three weeks to go before we head back home." She started to rise.

"No, don't go. Come on. You don't have to go for at least 20 minutes. Now that Slattery has moved on to inspecting everyone else, I think we have less to worry about, don't you?" Danny's large hands circled her upper arms, the heat of his palms warming her, as he drew her back down beside him.

"I figured if we were done I'd..."

"Who said we were done?" He was mildly chiding but she could hear something underneath that in his voice. Something she wanted and yet didn't know if it was a good idea to let herself have. He cradled one side of her face and she turned into his warm calloused palm as his fingers threaded gently into her loose hair. "Just lay here a moment. Let me hold you." And then more softly. "I hate it when you leave."

Understanding poured through her then. Maybe this wasn't just a hookup to him after all. Relief and a sense of gratitude, rich and deep, and intense flooded her awareness. Her throat felt closed off. She knew she should respond but she was so surprised, so taken aback, that she didn't know what to say. How do you tell someone that you were hoping against hope they would feel the same way when you've already said you aren't looking for anything long term? How do you tell them you have been longing for it and at the same are terrified of how that might change your life? In the end, she simply tucked her arms around him, laid her head on his shoulder, and said "Me too. I hate it too."


	40. Chapter 40 - Wanna Be Starting Something

When I was a freshman in college I accidentally punched this giant guy in the face. We were play sparring at swim practice and I got too close, gave him a black eye. It's the only time I've ever actually punched anyone. I was mortified when I found out he was actually the team captain.

**Wanna Be Starting Something, Michael Jackson**

"I thought I was in shape before we started this but I'm beginning to doubt it." Miller was dragging his weary form over to lean on the wall. His arms felt like lead and his cheeks were blazing red.

Berchem was already in the process of wetting his hair. "The physical stuff is supposed to challenge you now kid, so that you can rise to the task when you need to later."

"Just not sure I'm cut out for this. Lieutenant Burk keeps telling me that he knows I can do better but I don't know." Miller shook his head. "I mean, I've had Navy hand to hand before, but you guys are still beating the crap out of me and we've been training since the beginning of August."

Berchem snorted "How do you think we learned? We all started exactly where you are. The more you practice the better you'll get. And also, once you have to use it for real once or twice, you'll start hitting a lot harder."

They greedily swigged from water bottles as they watched Burk and Green sparing in the center of the room. The two seemed to have gathered an audience as Lieutenant Foster, who was rowing on the erg, and a couple of ensigns who were lifting weights, were watching too. Foster winced as Green took a particularly hard hit to the hip.

Miller eyed the men in the center of the room. In contrast to himself and Berchem, they weren't even sweating yet. "Maybe I should be doing more fitness? You know, bulk up a bit?"

Berchem sighed and set his water off to the side. "Fitness does matter, but despite what it looks like, this is all about strategy. You saw Cruz and Benz earlier. Benz got the jump on Cruz purely by using his head. Cruz is the bigger, fitter guy but he kept taking these little jabs from Frankie to the same place on his shin over and over. Eventually, even though they were little hits and not really designed to do real damage, they started to hurt. He had Cruz so tied up in acting to defend his shin from the next little jab that he let down his guard and Frankie tagged his jaw. Game over. With the right training, even tiny Foster could take down one of them."

Miller sat in silence, watching as first Carlton, then Danny switched lead legs. Both men were fit, both had plenty of real world experience. Miller didn't know Danny Green too well but he was pretty much in awe of Carlton. Miller hadn't even been in the Navy for two years yet. Heck, he'd only let his Grandpa take him to the recruiting office once he realized that his chances at a track and field scholarship were practically nil. When the recruiter told him he could essentially do a desk job for four years and then have the money for college he had seen the wisdom of not going into debt before he was even legally able to drink and he's signed on the dotted line.

He had been shocked when he'd gotten his rating and then again when he'd been assigned to the boarding and landing team of the Nathan James. To him, those roles belonged to nearly mythical men created out of popular guys who played football in high school, not so-so track guys who needed to dry out. Lots of guys talked about wanting to be a SEAL, but he didn't know anyone from his incoming group that had headed that way. Now that he was being encouraged to develop more skills, he wondered if he could really do this. At the very least, he was going to pay attention and learn whatever he could.

Ten minutes later, Smith sidled over to join them. "Benz started a betting pool. Five bucks a bet, winners split the pot. You guys want in?"

Miller considered for a second and then looked over the two combatants, each currently attempting to get a lock on the other. "I don't know. What am I going to do with a mess of cash out here anyways?"

Smith laughed. "Save it until we get back to port. Come on, make a pick kid. A little cash can buy you a lot of fun if you know where to go." He waggled his eyes suggestively at Berchem.

"Green, of course." Drawled Berchem "Come on Miller, I already lost the five I bet on you over Cossetti. If you're not going to spend it in port, you can pay me back and I'll teach you a few things."

Miller weighed his options carefully. There were five SEALs in the room but there were eight guys from the Nathan James's team plus the people working out. The pool could be real money. Carlton was currently backing up and Danny was advancing, but Miller saw something in their interaction that wasn't there before. Green was getting tired. "Alright. Put me down for Burk."

"Of course, he picks his own team's hero." Berchem shook his head. "If you want to grow up to be a SEAL one day kid, you gotta learn that you should never, ever bet against one. Green's gonna take this. He's one of the best."

He felt like a scrawny ninth grader asking a senior to move out of his assigned seat on the bus. Heart pounding in his ears he stood up to his full height. He wanted to impress these guys but he knew he was right. "I'm betting on Burk because, like you said a few minutes ago, it's about strategy. Burk was 2nd in his class at the Academy. He's got a silver star. He saved my bacon when we were faced with 25 trained guerrillas in the Congo and we didn't leave behind a single guy. He's the best too. As far as I know, Green is just some kind of super hyped gym rat."

Smith eyed him up and down and Miller had to hold his hands against his sides to keep the fact that they were shaking from showing. But then Berchem clapped him on the shoulder. "Alright, alright kid. Calm down. It's your money and you can lose it any way you want."

7 bells sounded and he was thankful for the excuse to go. "I've got to change for my watch assignment. See you later." As he strode away he heard Berchem's remark to Smith "Who would have known he had a pair in there after all?"

The next morning Miller was gobbling his second bowl of Rice Krispies when he felt a presence behind him. Turning he saw Smith with a hand thrust out. There was the tiniest crack of a smile at the corner of his mouth. "Well kid, you were right after all. Here's the pot. I'm headed to the ice for the day, so you and Foster can count it and split it yourselves."

Miller sputtered "Seriously?" He wasn't so much surprised that Burk had won as he was that he and Foster were the only people who had chosen Burk.

Smith sighed heavily. "Yeah, apparently Green says he was tired yesterday." He made air quotes around the word tired. "I don't know what the heck is going on with him because I've been on his team for the last three years and he's never once admitted any weakness."

The room Miller shared with Cossetti, Hill, and Findley had a bulkhead in common with Green's. "Maybe he needs to cut back on his late night porn habit." Every head at the table whipped around to look at Miller. Beside him Benz was trying to hold in the giggles. When he realized he'd said it out loud he clamped a hand over his own mouth. "Um, maybe, um Sir. Pardon the rudeness Ma'am." He apologized to Foster who was sitting across from him and blushing fiercely.

"Whatever." Smith rolled his eyes. "We're out on the ice with Dr. Scott for four hours, then Burk's team is going, and then we'll be back in the gym. Be ready because we're working knife skills today."

"Yes, yes Sir." Miller sat and began to count the money.

"Alright Miller, hand over half." Foster's eyes sparkled with mirth. "Next time we're in port, let me take you out for a drink and tell you a funny story."

He swallowed hard and tried his best not to stammer. Going out for a drink with Lieutenant Foster? He could never. He didn't have Lieutenant Green's seemingly endless video library, but he did have an imagination after all.


	41. Chapter 41 - Without You

I was in Iceland in July last year. It was an amazingly beautiful place. We had weather in the forties to sixties most of the time and pretty much if it wasn't rainy it was windy. It kind of reminded me of April in Michigan. Every time the sun came out so did the people. They walked around in the evenings after work, sometimes until pretty late at night. People were always in the hotel lobbies chatting. I pretty much didn't sleep for a week straight ...and it was awesome.

**Without You, Motley Crue**

Kara and Alisha were leaning against the port railing. Alisha had on her heavy parka and gloves but Kara had only her light all-weather jacket. Still, for the arctic it was relatively warm. In the distance Kara could see where the RIBs were pulled up onto the ice of Baffin Bay but Danny, his team, and Dr. Scott had gone over a hill out of sight. She and Alicia had come out to watch some Belugas pass by but now they were just enjoying the meek sunlight.

"So, now that we're on the last phase of this exercise, wanna take bets where we're going next?" Alisha asked.

"I have no idea. I sort of wish we could stay here longer, at least through September. I like having my 7 during the midnight sun." She turned her face to warm her cheeks.

"Does this have anything to do with a certain scuba instructor. Alicia air quoted. "..and your mysterious sleeping arrangements?"

Kara's gaze whipped back toward Alisha. In a lower voice she said "I didn't realize you really knew what was going on." She trusted Alisha, but she was surprised that if she knew, she hadn't said anything earlier.

Alisha's voice was reassuring. "Honestly, I didn't recognize Danny at all. But then I overheard Benz saying something to Gator about meeting Georgina when he was out with Danny and a retired buddy and the whole thing clicked." She shrugged. "At first I thought you were not sleeping through the night because of Eric actually."

"I found out a year ago, today." The hushed tone of her voice belied the strength of emotion associated with thoughts of her brother.

Alisha smiled sympathetically. She understood grief. One of the reasons they had bonded so well was that they both had lost their fathers too early. "Plus, you left your locker open the other day and when I saw his picture." Alisha grinned unapologetically "So…I put a shoe under your pillow…and it's still there. You need to sleep more."

Kara couldn't help crack a smile. "Geez girlfriend. You are going to be one tough mother someday!"

They laughed and Alisha quipped "I learned from the best." She placed a reassuring hand on Kara's forearm. "I understand and I won't say anything, but be careful. He seems a lot like how you've described your father and brothers."

Kara thought about it for a moment. Then she replied softly. "I never thought about it, but I guess yeah, they have some similarities. But I will be careful. I am careful." She was once again reminded that the people on this ship looked out for each other like family. One day she'd be assigned somewhere else, but until then, she didn't want any other job.

Turning the conversation to a lighter topic Alisha exclaimed "I love the long hours of light but I can't wait to get back to someplace warm. I need a beach! I saw that Carlton's team was inventorying and cleaning up the biohazard suits. I hope we're headed back to the Congo again. I've resorted to imagining the feel of that tropical air to keep warm."

Kara tucked her head against her chest as fear sliced through her. Carlton had barely made it out alive on their last mission in the Congo. Just thinking about it brought all the feelings of helplessness back to the forefront. "I hope not that. That's my worst nightmare." She was honest with her friend.

"Why? It turned out well and so many people were helped."

"Yeah, but so many people died in those fires too. Plus, it was the first time that I made a strategic decision that determined if other people lived or died. Every other time I've released a weapon it has been at someone else's command." Kara stared down at the icy water. She reminded herself that if the DRC rebels had been starving or oppressed in someway she would have reason to feel guilty but they had been the aggressors, fighting to take land from the western chiefdoms who were the poorest of the poor in the DRC. Their methods were both underhanded and cruel. Still, she felt no pleasure or triumph in the deaths of the small band of rebels they had stopped. Instead, she felt angry that they hadn't been able to do more to help the Congolese people. "Besides, as soon as those guys were gone, someone else likely took over. We might have stopped that group but it's unlikely we stopped the entire operation."

"OK, where would you rather go, what work would you rather do?" Alisha batted her eyes at Kara "Escort important politicians on diplomatic functions?" She pantomimed hitting a golf ball off the deck. "Ferry around a mothballed admiral?" She tipped her hand as if holding a beer and then let out a loud belch. "Train midshipman?"

Kara laughed. In the distance she could see the team returning to the RIBs and loading gear. "You're incorrigible! I pick ferry diplomats, as long as it's someplace warm." She watched as in the distance, the scientists and SEAL team left the shore and began heading for the ship.

"Yeah you would pick that because it's super easy on the CIC, but it sucks on the bridge. No matter who it is, they always want to observe." Alisha wrinkled her nose. "But observing always turns into commenting on how they would improve operations if they were a captain. Ugh, talk about arrogant to think they can just walk into the job that the rest of us work toward for twenty years or more."

Kara smiled, but her thoughts were already someplace else. At her core she was a scientist. She was used to distilling data to a conclusive answer. She hated not knowing what was to come. She was glad Danny wasn't more like her father because her father had never shied away from dangerous assignments, regardless of the fact that he'd had a wife and children at home. "Today I am in a blue mood. If I was one of those politicians, I'd tell everyone to forget the international war games we play and go be with the ones they love. That you never know what's going to happen next."

"You're not planning to put in for a desk job once we get back, are you?" Alisha gave her a questioning eyebrow.

"Nope, not for me. I'm not planning to change anything." But a small fissure of longing for an easier, more settled life stabbed through her.

Alisha was silent as she casually studied Kara while Kara watched the RIB pull up alongside the hull. The doctors and SEALs began appearing one by one as they climbed back to the deck. Alisha could see the tension in Kara's hand as it gripped the rail with white knuckles. Finally a sandy brown head and freckled face framed in a furred hood appeared over the railing. Alisha heard Kara let out a relieved sigh. Danny didn't acknowledge them, but as he set down Halsey the dog trotted to Kara's side and sat obediently. She dug in her pocket and produced a small bit of breakfast sausage.

Kara knelt, ruffled the dog's fur and whispered in his ear as she gave him the treat. "Good boy. Good dog, bringing him home safe." Work would go on. Once this training was complete they'd head back to Norfolk and take a shore leave. She'd be able to check on her mother and spend some time with Danny. Her heart skipped a beat. She wondered if their relationship would continue or if he'd lose interest once there were other options. A week ago she might have expected the latter, but now, after he'd asked her to stay longer, she thought there was a chance.

Alisha nodded toward the dog, and then the man with an arched brow. "Not planning to change anything? I'd say everything has already changed."


	42. Chapter 42 - Every Little Thing She Does

This song makes me think of mudding up around Lake Wyola in late summer 1995. I was dating this guy who had no care whatsoever for his truck (based on the fact that he let me drive) and we always ended up stuck on some logging road or trail, just listening to music and making out while we waited for everyone else to catch up and tow us out. He had an awesome music collection. All summer, everytime I felt that oppresive thunderstorm is coming feeling, I'd be checking the weather non-stop hoping for a good downpour.

**Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic, The Police**

"Gator, I'm heading to the deck to get the weather data." Kara shrugged into her light jacket and gathered her clipboard and pen.

"Aye ma'am. Beautiful day out there today." She smiled, but tried not to be too personal about it. This was Gator after all. "But bring a coat. There's a nasty cold going around." She almost hummed as she made her way to the deck anticipating seeing Danny jogging around with Halsey. They were still careful not to remain professional in public, but it was so much easier to be friendly with him now that they had greed they wanted the same things. Recently they had settled into a pattern of lightly ribbing each other as part of their public persona.

She opened the door to the outside and felt a rush of warm, humid air wash over her. Even if it was the end of July, the weather was unusually mild for the coast of Greenland. A bunch of guys were playing basketball on the helo pad. Danny trotted by in shorts and gave her a warm grin. "Coming out of that cave you call a workplace to soak up some heat through your scales Lieutenant Foster?"

She laughed. "Ha, I don't have time to sit still. Some of us have to keep this thing afloat so others can use it like a taxi." He waved a hand over his shoulder to acknowledge he heard her and continued on. She knew she had enough time to read her first set of gages before he made it around again.

The thermometer reading showed 63 degrees. She checked it twice. That was nearing record high range. The anemometer read 0 knots for a wind speed. That explained the lack of wave action today. The barometer read 998. That was a bit lower than she'd seen so far this summer. They had actually lucked out and mostly had high pressure systems giving them day after day of blue sky and light choppy winds with cold temperatures. Every few days a fast moving rain or snow system would blow through and then they were usually back to sunny and cold. This felt different. She eyed the cloudy sky apprehensively. It wasn't filled with the fast moving fluffy clouds that scudded by as a rainstorm brewed, but rather was a flat, heavy oppressive gray. Stepping out to the railing she circled the horizon with her binoculars to determine the cloud height. She wished they could have satellite data fed to them a few times a week at least. Not for the first time she wondered what exactly they were testing that they couldn't receive data. To the west she noted the cloud cover looked ominously low, almost like a fog bank rather than overcast. Perfectly smooth dark water stretched in all directions until it met the flat gray sky or pure white snow and ice along the horizon. Although they hadn't seen another ship in over 6 weeks, there had been plenty of animal sightings. Kara scanned the water for whales or seals but today there were none.

She was making notes about relative humidity when Danny jogged to her side again. "So," she was impressed as usual by how he was not really even out of breath. There were serious benefits to having a man so fit. "What's the weather report today?" He always stopped on the second lap around after her appearance to ask.

"Hard to say, for once." She glanced at her clipboard and then frowned. "I have to think about this some before I make a forecast, but I can say with good certainty that we're about to see something different in the next 24 hours."

"Different good or different bad?" he pressed. She was itching to smooth her thumb over the small furrow that appeared between his eyes but she knew that was a bad idea so she leaned down to pat Halsey instead.

"I'm not actually sure. It could be just a surface low that's going to pass and we'll be back to normal in a day or we could be about to run into an extra-tropical storm system. If I had a satellite map I could tell in an instant." She snapped her fingers to emphasize how decisive a satellite image would be. "But without it I think the best I can do is give it a 20/80 chance maybe? This is when the Atlantic hurricane season starts, but then again, most storms fizzle out before they make it this far north so it's more likely nothing."

"Well, I'm supposed to take Dr. Scott back to get more top secret bird poop this afternoon." He rolled his eyes. "I'll check back in with you before we launch." He winked and took off jogging again. He always checked in with her before heading to the ice..in the supply closet under the second level stairs when she was on a 10 minute break. Kara smiled as she checked the instruments one last time. Her smile faded. The barometer was down to 997. She carefully added to her notes and headed in.

She returned to her desk with a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. After working through some numbers she wrote up her forecast. One thing she had always liked about serving under Commander Chandler was that he found ways to work people's background and experience into their duties. However, today she wished it wasn't her job to produce the weather reports because she felt so unsure of the accuracy. When the commander arrived in the CIC for his daily check-in she was as ready as she could be, but her stomach churned nervously.

"Commander, welcome to the CIC.." As was custom, she announced his arrival for the others in the room.

Commander Chandler looked relaxed. He had previously expressed that he had no worries about her and her staff performing well in the test exercises. "At ease gentlemen, ladies. Lieutenant Foster, what's today's report?" Kare began with a quick run down of staffing and the training modules she was running in anticipation of the final phase of the exercises. As always, she was relieved when he nodded, agreeing with her decisions. She still felt new in her position, but was starting to feel more confident based on the way he rarely contradicted her and instead treated her like a colleague. She liked how he was always asking her for alternatives and to walk him through her reasoning so they could debate rather than simply over ruling her decisions like some commanding officers would do.

"..So I have a recommendation for the exercises based on the weather I am anticipating. I can't say with 100% certainty, given the lack of satellite imagery, but I think we might be in for some poor weather."

"How poor?"

"Sir, I believe we may encounter some severe weather, possibly the remnants of a tropical storm."

Commander Chandler frowned and reached for the brief she was holding. As he skimmed it she waited respectfully. "As usual Lieutenant Foster, your insight to the conditions is much appreciated. I see you say here 30% likelihood of water conditions too rough for the RIBs, 70% chance of rain, 50% chance of winds exceeding 80 knots. What is your recommendation for preparation to withstand these conditions?"

Kara shouldn't have been surprised that he was asking her. After all, she had been through many storms on the ship and knew from experience how he would handle the ship during those situations. "Well, because I have no information to determine the timing of the event my recommendation is to review storm preparation procedures and to hold the teams from going to the shore for 24 hours. I'd also like to put someone on hourly data collection so I can assess the conditions as they change. If it becomes more clear that an event is going to occur I'll update you."

Chandler nodded, his face grim. "I'm impressed as usual Foster. Anything else?"

For a moment she thought in panic what am I forgetting but then she thought if he was testing her for command maybe she should think of what else she would do in his shoes. "If the likelihood increases above 50% I'd also recommend moving to a mile offshore, active maintenance of bow position into the wind, a clearing of the decks, followed by closure of the decks, securing furnishings and cargo, and a switch to cold meals until the storm passes."

She watched his face for a sign of approval. "Very good. All by the book Lieutenant." He scrubbed a hand down his face with a sigh. "Alright, I will go notify Dr. Scott that shore trips are currently restricted. That woman is not going to be happy with me today." Kara nodded. In the time they'd been at sea, Dr. Scott had earned a reputation as a termagant workaholic already.

"I'll get the hourly watch set up, Sir."

"Good. Since I suspect Dr. Scott will argue her case for quite a while, find Lieutenants Green and Benz and notify them of the situation as well. Have them secure the RIBs aboard just in case."

"Aye Sir." She hoped that Chandler thought her barely hidden smile was caused by the anticipation of the slim Dr. Scott arguing with the formidable captain rather than her enjoyment of a task that involved Danny.

After instructing one of the ensigns on duty in the weather collection details she set off in search of Danny. Since he was scheduled to depart with Dr. Scott in 45 minutes she had a feeling she'd find him in the armory rooms. Sure enough, two men were laying out weaponry on a gray table while another counted a box of shells and a fourth made notes on an inventory sheet. Danny glanced up sharply when the ensign on watch announced her arrival with a "Good afternoon ma'am." and the junior staff in the room gave a cursory salute. A quick sequence of joy, confusion, and finally worry crossed his face. Beneath his tan shirt she could see him tense.

"Lieutenant Foster, what's the matter?"

"Nothing really, I am here to change your tasks." Danny's shoulders visually relaxed. "Commander Chandler and I have discussed my forecast for today and we have concerns about the conditions."

Frankie laughed. "Are you on the same ship as me? I was just up on deck 20 minutes ago and although it's cloudy, the weather is great."

Kara nodded. "It is fine now, but the indications are that we are in the vicinity of a significant storm system and without satellite and radar data I really can't make a good determination of whether we will intersect it or not. Thus, the captain has decided to cancel today's shore excursion."

"Oooohhh, I wish we were up there for the showdown that must be going on in Dr. Scott's lab!" everyone in the room laughed at Frankie's pronouncement.

"Ok guys, you heard Lieutenant Foster, log everything back in." Danny handed the rifle butt in his hand to an ensign. "What else does he want us to do?"

"You're going to hate me for this." She was half teasing but she knew it they were not going to enjoy the job.

"Yesssss?"

"He wants you to haul up the RIBs in case we need to move farther off shore in a hurry." A collective groan rose from the room.

"Seriously?" Frankie asked. "It sure as hell better be a hurricane, or whatever kind of storms they have up here, Foster, because that's a lot of work."

"Chill Frankie, you need the workout anyway." Danny tried to diffuse his ire.

Leaning closer he asked "Can I talk to you outside Lieutenant?" Kara frowned a little thinking he was going to try to violate her not-when-we're-on-duty rule but he just stopped around the corner out of earshot of the armory and asked quietly "How bad of a storm are you thinking?"

She smiled in relief and punched him lightly in the shoulder. "What's the matter? Is the big brawny Special Forces Danny Green afraid of a few snowflakes?"

"Ow" he feigned hurt. "No, but Bercham, he gets sea sick. I should probably warn him."

"Send him to Doc Rios. He has something for that. Chandler does not let people off duty for seasickness...although Slattery might. He can be a real softie." Kara looked behind her. No one was around. "Hey, sorry about the extra work."

Danny chuckled and lowered his voice until it was only a husky whisper. "You can make it up to me later when we're rocking back and forth in the waves."

Although Kara did give him a nice shoulder massage that evening, the storm never materialized. Since she was taking summaries from her staff every three hours, that was about the only time they had anyway. By morning, Kara was grumpy, her eyes gritty from a poor night's sleep in her own cold bunk.

When she made her own check of the weather gages she was disappointed to see that the conditions had hardly changed. The air was still oppressive and there was a distinct lack of wind. She had a feeling that they had dodged a bullet but she wasn't sure for how long. The barometric pressure was still down at 996 and the horizon to the west was dark.

"Thanks for saving our asses from working outside in the warm weather." Frankie jogged by with Halsey.

"It's not your ass I'm interested in saving." She retorted.

When he made it back around again she asked "Where's Danny?'

"Down with Chandler trying to calm Dr. Scott. She's throwing a fit that she was kept from the field yesterday and then nothing happened."

With one last look at the gages she headed down to the helo bay. Time to face the music.


	43. Chapter 43 - I Can See Clearly Now

**I Can See Clearly Now, Jimmy Cliff**

"With all due respect, Captain, Lieutenant, you do not understand the urgency of my work. In another three weeks I expect the weather in this region to become unsuitable for my field work and I will have to wait until May at the earliest to resume my sampling. That is unacceptable. I cannot afford to waste any more days." Dr. Scott's back was ramrod straight and she punctuated her words by slamming one fist into the other palm.

Commander Chandler stood with his arms crossed over his chest, his face impassive. "I understand your position Dr. Scott. But you do not seem to understand mine. I am not only responsible for your safety but that of this entire crew. When a hazard presents I must weigh all the risks and benefits." Danny nodded in agreement.

"But I promise to return at the first sign of danger. Lieutenant Green, I can assure your team that if you indicate it is time to go, I will not argue. But even a partial work session on the ice is better than none. It is imperative that I find the sample I am looking for before the season closes." When she realized Kara had entered the lab she waved her over.

"Ah Lieutenant Foster. I understand you are the reason why these gentlemen are impeding my work." Kara had the feeling of a goldfish entering a shark tank.

"Well, actually Dr. Scott, I made the recommendation to keep you off the island myself, and I stand by it." Might as well face it head on she thought.

"And what if the conditions do not change tomorrow either? Hmm?" The tall brunette probably didn't mean to tower over Kara but in her heeled boots she did anyways. Kara felt the urge to draw herself up just a little taller in response. "How many days do I have to be kept from the hazard of perfectly calm water and overcast skies before you decide it is safe?" Rachel raised an eyebrow challenging Kara. "What makes you qualified to play weather girl and call overcast skies enough reason to keep me from my work?"

Kara fought to keep her manner professional in response to the other woman's vehemence. "A meteorology degree, Ma'am. A tour with NOAA. Six years experience at sea. I don't make the recommendation lightly, but safety is always a concern." Kara tried to diffuse the other woman's anger by appealing to her as a peer. "I have incomplete data, a frustration I am sure you, as a scientist, are familiar with. But, if that system moves into our area the wind will be fierce, there could be any kind of precipitation, including hail, and visibility will be reduced to nearly nothing. "

Dr. Trophet, who until then had been hanging back, wedged himself between Kara and Rachel. "Lieutenant Foster, perhaps you don't understand how urgently Dr. Scott and I need these samples." As Quincy towered over her, she was simultaneously pleased and annoyed when Danny shifted a fraction closer in response. She could handle herself, thank you very much.

Commander Chandler had had enough. "This is how it's going to be. Today, we observe the conditions. Tomorrow, if nothing changes I will re-assess the situation. Until then, my people have work to do." He turned away from Dr. Scott, who threw her hands up in frustration and stomped away into her lab space. A distinct.."Doesn't understand what's at stake here..." was heard as she slammed a notebook on the table and began moving around equipment.

Chandler rolled his eyes. "Foster, you will continue the hourly watches and appraise me if anything changes?"

"Yes sir."

"And Green, check in with Foster every four hourly. If she thinks we're going to make a go of it you can get started re-launching the boats immediately to be prepared at daybreak.."

"Yes sir." Danny glanced at his watch and then winked at Kara. "Looks like our next appointment is at 1300."

At 1 PM, 5 PM, and 9PM the conditions had not changed, although Kara did note significant lightening of the clouds to the south. Finally, at the 0900 check the next morning the clouds had moved off the horizon and Kara was relieved to receive a report from an ensign that the atmospheric pressure had risen over 1000 again.

She went in search of Danny and found him on deck drilling 5 young enlisted who thought they had what it takes for BUDS. The air had indeed turned cooler and small whitecaps where appearing on the water surface. The young men jerked to attention as she approached behind Danny, alerting him to her presence. His smile when she approached was genuine.

"Lieutenant?" He looked almost as if he had been expecting her.

"Send your puppies for a jog. I need to talk with you." He immediately sent them for a few rounds and they stood at the rail. Kara was careful not to lean too close but it would have been nice to snuggle by his side in the chill air.

"You think we're good to go? We can actually do something sort of productive?" He leaned back against the rail, arms crossed over his chest to keep them warm.

Kara couldn't help but smile at the way the wind ruffled his hair and the corners of his eyes crinkled in the sunlight. "Not having anything to do just kills you, doesn't it? Yep. It's time to cast off again sailor."

"I've still got a job to do." He motioned toward Miller and Cossetti who jogged by bickering about some movie star like school girls. "But, if you mean you'll be sleeping more then two hours at a time and you'll stop biting your nails I'll be happy to take Dr. Scott for another excursion." His tone was light but she could see the real concern in his eyes.

Her rejoinder made him laugh out load. "Yes, I plan on racing to a bunk this evening and spending a solid 5 hours with no interruptions."

"Promise?"

She gave him a light slap on one muscled shoulder. "I promise. Now, go round up your team and get those boats ready or I'll be telling her you're the one delaying her trip and you can experience her evil eye first hand."

Kara went in search of Chandler and found him in his office. "Captain, it appears that the conditions have improved. I have informed Lieutenant Green and his team is readying the RIBs for a trip out in a few hours."

"Very well Foster. Keep the hourly watch on and give me an update every 2, please."

"Aye sir.

Kara returned to her usual work. The day was beautiful and she was just glad not to have to worry about confronting Dr. Scott again. She knew her findings were sound but that woman was seriously intimidating. She reviewed some test drills with her staff and they practiced chain of command shifts. Every hour she trotted out to the weather instrumentation and took a reading. Each time she used her field glasses to check on the shore team. Although she couldn't tell who was who, she could see the scientists high on a slope while the escort team waited below. She imagined Danny found that part of the trip rather boring. He wasn't one to sit still for long.

She had just come off her short watch at 1900 hours and was eating dinner when a junior officer came to find her. "Ma'am, the XO sent me to get you."

Anxiety sprang to life. "Me, what's the matter?" She rose and immediately began clearing her half eaten plate.

"Some new clouds were spotted. XO wants you to evaluate."

She took a route to the bridge that would bring her up on deck. She didn't have her binoculars so she could only faintly make out the team on shore. A third escort group had rotated onto the ice to allow Dr. Scott to makeup some time utilizing the long daylight hours found this far north. Scanning the horizon she observed that there were some heavy clouds hanging low to the west. They looked ominously dark and a distinct front was visible. A stiff breeze was picking up a few feet of chop on the water. The bright white caps were a stark contrast against the dark water. There wasn't going to be much time to get the team back before the waves really picked up. She was glad Danny had come in already, but she felt sorry for Frankie and the rest who were going to have to hustle to get back before the first rain or snow hit. She didn't feel guilty at all thinking with some delight that Dr. Scott was going to have a miserable ride back with the icy spray in their faces.

"Ensign Hart. Please report to the XO that I am on deck making observations. I will report to the bridge immediately after." She parted from the junior officer and walked briskly sternward toward the weather station. Yes, the wind had picked up by 15 knots since her reading barely an hour ago and the relative humidity was sitting at 98 percent. And most troubling, the pressure had dropped to an ominous 993. Wishing she had her field glasses handy she quickly made her way to the bridge.

"Lieutenant Foster, that bank of clouds has rolled back in from the west, rather quickly. We think we've seen rain. Could you take a look?." Slattery handed her the field glasses as she entered the bridge and they stepped on the small catwalk outside. An icy wind whipped a strand free of Kara's tight bun and she swore it was colder than when she was out two minutes before.

As she scanned the clouds she informed him "I'm inclined to say get them out of there ASAP. That's a serious storm and even if it stays offshore, the winds are going to make the trip back rough.

"Alright then. I'm going to call them in. Can you go notify the Captain because as soon as we have them on board I want to move farther offshore." An ominous roll of thunder sounded in the distance.

She was happy when they trudged back inside. Slattery took to the radio himself and she headed for the door.

"Cobra team, this is the XO."

"XO this is the Cobra team." Kara's head whipped around. That was Danny's voice. She froze, her face a mask of confusion and fear. What was he doing out there?

Slattery was filling him in on the changes. "...so gather up and head back ASAP." She did her best to compose herself before anyone noticed her slip.

"Can't see anything but blue sky but we're over the hill, can't see the western horizon from here. Dr. Scott is up a ledge a ways with Benz and Cruz. Halsey and I are in a protected valley around the backside of the ridge with Dr. Trophet and Cossetti. We'll wrap it up now." The sound of the wind on his microphone made a rustle and Kara realized he must be jogging.

"Got to go guys. There's a storm rolling in." as if to punctuate his words a gust made a howl as it whipped past him. "Felt that! Cossetti, help Quincy pack up and take the snowmobile down to the RIBs and get them ready. Then come back up here to get me and Halsey. I'll hike up to collect the other team and meet you."

The XO nodded his approval of Danny's plan. "Roger that. Report when you are all at the launch site."

A light smattering sounded at the windows. Kara stepped up to observe. It was melting against the glass but it looked like sleet.

"Foster, the captain?" Her cheeks flared red. She never forgot an order. Putting down the glasses she hastened toward the door.

"Yes Sir."

Danny was seriously regretting returning to the island with the escort team this time. He had agreed to Dr. Scott's request to make an extra trip because it had seemed like a good way to smooth over any hard feelings about denying her team for two days. But he had felt bad that Halsey would work so many hours without him so he'd returned with the team.

The wind was just starting to whip pellets of ice that stung against his cheeks as Dr. Scott's work site came into view over the ridge. He half hoped the sleet would do the job of convincing her to pack up for him. "Go on boy." He urged the dog ahead. Frankie would read the situation before he made it up there.

When he did, Dr. Scott was indeed packing her cases. "Can we help with anything Ma'am? It's going to be a rough ride back to the ship."

For once Dr. Scott didn't argue. She looked tired and defeated. He couldn't for the life of him understand what was so urgent about bird poop that they got upset about waiting a day to collect more. "No, Lieutenant. All packed up. Even I can see that we don't want to be caught in this." Danny and Benz each took a case and the group trudged down to the waiting snowmobile. Cruz and Dr. Scott took it ahead and Danny and Benz continued walking until Cossetti could make it back to get them. Halsey, seemingly oblivious to the biting wind, trotted along happily, tail wagging.

"Looks like your girlfriend was right all along." Benz broke the silence.

"She's not my…Well I suppose she is." Danny replied, not taking his eyes off the snowmobile tracks they were following. The visibility had dropped and everything was becoming a white blur. "I can't feel my nose right now which makes me kind of wish she wasn't right."

Frankie chuckled. "You're the only one of us that has someone warm to cuddle up to when you get back so quit your complaining old man. Where the heck is Cossetti?"

"Don't know about that kid. We gotta start drilling him harder." Danny had been wondering the same thing. What was going on down at the shore? "Who are you calling old anyway? I think I lapped you last week." Danny shot back.

"Race you to Cossetti?" They started to jog. They wouldn't really race, not wanting to take the risk on tripping on the uneven ridges left by the snowmobiles, but the jog helped create body heat anyway. They topped the crest above the protected valley where Quincy had been working and should have been able to see the two RIBs pulled up below. Danny could only see one, and it was rocking in the waves.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. This whole day is going to shit." Benz swore

"You gotta learn some more colorful language man." But seriously, this was bad. Danny counted the group below as they left the snowmobile tracks and followed the steeper but more direct foot trail down. Cruz, Trophet, Scott, and Cossetti were on shore. One Snowmobile and Dr. Scott's equipment were loaded already. Cossetti and Cruz were in each other's faces about something. Then Danny saw it. The second inflatable boat was floating freely about 50 feet offshore.

He opened his comm "Nathan James, this is Cobra Team. We have a small problem."

The XOs voice was tense "What's the situation?"

"It looks like one of the RIBs has come loose in this wind. We are ready to go with room for three in the first, but they will have to come back, chase down the other boat and pick up the rest of us." He was not looking forward to the crossing.

"Can you leave the snowmobiles behind and get all 6 in one go? Danny watched as a wave tossed the empty zodiac like it was a rubber ducky. "I think the weight of the snowmobile may help stabilize the boat. Plus, I don't think we want to take the 20 minutes to unload again. In any case, I'd have the helo ready just in case we need to pick up swimmers." He swore he could hear the XO pinning his lips into a firm line.

"Very well Green. Let's move quickly."

It only took five seconds for him to find out, thanks to Cruz's shouting, that Cossetti had driven the second snowmobile over the rope holding the boat that was now floating free. As they loaded the other boat it had drifted away unnoticed.

Frankie groaned. "Those two are worse than my little brothers." Then he shouted out. "Hey, both you bitches knock it off. Cruz, if you ever want a command you're going to have to cool your temper. Be a man of action, not reaction, remember?" he turned on Cossetti. "And you, that was a dick move. You win one extra hour here in the freezing cold waiting for the second taxi." Frankie's brand of leadership was rewarded with an icy splash of salt water as a gust swept a heavy spray ashore. "Argggg, this day cannot get any f'ing worse."

Danny stepped in. "OK, let's finish loading and do double time here. Cruz, and Benz you'll take Dr. Scott and her samples back to the ship. Trophet, you're going to stay with Cossetti and myself. We'll take a tent over the rise and set up in a more sheltered spot."

Dr. Scott, who was eyeing the churning water with trepidation cut in. "Quincy, you go and I'll follow up. You've been out here since this morning. You know what to do with all the samples."

Quincy, who for the most part never seemed to argue with her despite the fact that Danny was pretty sure he was actually a more experienced scientist, nodded and picked up the last case. "I'll guard them with my life if I have to."

What an odd, melodramatic statement over a bunch of bird poop, Danny thought as he and Cossetti shouldered the remaining two packs. In two minutes the first group was pulling away from the shore. Spray cascaded over the front of the small craft as they turned into the wind. "Nathan James the first group is crossing your way. Best be prepared to thaw them out when they reach."

"Aye Cobra team." It was the Chandler this time. "Are you OK for now?"

"Yes sir. We're going back over the ridge to a sheltered spot to wait. The wind and cold are unpleasant but not dangerous right now."

Kara returned to the bridge after notifying Commander Chandler. While she was off duty, she didn't think she could return to her bunk anyways. She got a brief distraction when the XO set general quarters and then called for a storm prep cleanup. But her station in the CIC. was quickly put to rights and then she was at loose ends. She watched the Zodiac bounce toward the Nathan James in the gathering gloom through her field glasses. When they reached 500 yards she realized that Danny wasn't on it. Still, her breath caught in her throat when, about 200 yards out from the ship, a large swell crested over the bow, soaking everyone. As Benz wisely pulled them around to the leeward side of the ship, she lost sight of them, but she had a sinking feeling the captain would not be sending anyone back across to the island tonight.

She stood at the windows and listened helplessly as Doc Rios was called to assess the three and direct their rewarming. Commander Chandler broke into her anxious thoughts. "Foster, you look worried. Something I should know?"

Yeah, a whole lotta something he should not know…but she assumed he was referring to the weather. "No sir, at least I don't think so. I'll go check the conditions now."

"Good idea. Meet me in the infirmary where I'll take Benz's report and decide the next action in 10."

She quickly made her way to the instruments. Icy sleet and rain pelleted her uncovered head. It was freezing on the decks and railings making everything treacherous. The pressure and temperature were continuing to fall. She couldn't recommend sending anyone back until the seas calmed at least a little. She really didn't want to make the call, but she knew Danny would be spending the night on the island.

She jotted a few notes and then dashed toward the doorway leading to the levels below. Despite the non-skid coating on the decks, the ice was already covering everything thick enough to send her flying when she slipped. She flailed for an arm rail but instead bashed her temple and forearm on the rough coated wall as she went down. For a minute she lay on the cold metal deck and mentally collected herself. Then feeling the cold wet sleet seeping through her coveralls she carefully rose back to her feet. When she gingerly stepped the rest of the way inside, the warmth felt good but her arm and temple both stung. She cautiously touched her fingers to her temple and came away with a little blood. Not enough to worry but she supposed it was just as well she was headed to the infirmary.

A minute later Chandler observed drolly "I think I can guess your recommendation by your appearance."

"Sorry for the dishevelment sir. Yes, the icing is pretty bad." An enlisted man waved her into a chair next to Frankie, Quincey, and Cruz who were each wrapped in a blanket and sipping hot liquids.

Chandler nodded in agreement. "I assume you don't think we should send the Zodiac back out? Lieutenant Burk is standing by in case." Her nerves, already frayed by the week of arguing with Dr. Scott, knowing Danny was out there, and her untimely injuries just about stopped.

She turned to Frankie. "Lieutenant Benz, do the people on the island have what they need for shelter and warmth? That stuff wasn't in the second boat, was it?

Frankie gave her a half hidden smile. "Yes, Danny and I, and that dog, have weathered out quite few storms in the past. As long as the tents hold, they should be fine." The logical part of her knew she should hold onto the word fine but the already wound up part grasped the words as long as and should and worry continued eating at her stomach.

Still, she didn't think it would be prudent for Burk to go out there and with the wind and visibility the helo was probably inadvisable too. She turned back to Chandler who was waiting expectantly "I estimate 10 foot waves and since the pressure is still dropping they may yet rise. There's no way the Zodiac should go out and the helo is probably not a good idea unless absolutely necessary."

"Very well. I'll be back to the bridge." He rose and gave the four of them a stern look that reminded her of her father. "Lieutenants Cruz, Benz, and Foster you are hereby put on medical rest. I don't want to see any of you before…" He glanced at his watch "0900 tomorrow."

"Me too?" Kara didn't usually question anything Chandler commanded but she needed to be on the bridge or the C.I.C.. What if something happened? She needed to know.

"Especially you Foster. You've been on for 17 hours and even without your expertise I am pretty sure we'll be able to figure out when it is safe to launch a recovery. I'll send someone to get you if anything changes. Go get some sleep, all of you." Fat chance she thought. "And Foster, don't worry. The dog has a thick coat. It has the best chance of survival of all of them."

Beside her Frankie burst out laughing.


	44. Chapter 44 z Faithfully

Ask any middle schooler about why they haven't told the person they are crushing on and they'll start talking about what ifs. What if she doesn't like me back? Adults aren't much better. What if I change jobs and it's actually worse than the current one? What if my fanfiction is so bad that no one reads it? All these what ifs can ruin our sense of adventure. Risk takers ask what if questions too. What if this woman is the one? What if I do a little extra each day for three months and then ask for a raise? What if I try out for community theater? Either way, you're going to fail a lot. So, if you ask me, you might as well go out and give it your best shot.

*******Faithfully, Journey*******

"Remind me again why we're all three crammed into one tent?" Cossetti burst out.

"Because, by putting one tent inside the other we create and air buffer and preserve more of our heat." Danny was having a hard time sleeping too with the constant slap of the wind against the taut tent fabric. They had long since realized that the radio wasn't working and zipped themselves in to conserve heat.

"I can't sleep either, but surely we can find something else to talk about." Dr. Scott yawned and shifted in her blanket.

"Ok, tell us where you're from Dr. Scott?" Cossetti tried again. Danny smiled inwardly. The puppy was so out of her league it was funny. "I hope it's someplace warm."

Dr. Scott laughed dryly. Danny wasn't sure he'd ever heard her laugh before. He wondered if she had always been as severe as she was on the ship. She certainly took her work seriously. "It is, or rather it was. I grew up mostly in the southern half of Africa. But I work out of Atlanta now."

"How 'bout you Lieutenant Green. Where do you go home to between your missions?"

"Norfolk, but I'm from Connecticut. What about you Cossetti?"

"San Juan, Puerto Rico"

"Ah, same as Cruz then. Did you know him before you joined?" Danny figured he might as well get to know the newest member of his team better while they were stuck here. This was Cossetti's first assignment since getting his trident and probably not at all what he was expecting.

"Nah, I actually mostly grew up in Jersey, with my father's family." Danny could feel Cossetti's laugh more than he could hear it, they were packed in so tight. On his other side, Halsey lifted his head and panted dog breath in his face.

"What's so funny about that?" quipped Dr. Scott.

"My father told me to join the Navy so I could see exotic places and meet exotic women, like how he met my mother. Instead, I'm freezing my balls off in Santa's backyard. And not that you're not an exotic woman, Dr. Scott. But I have a feeling if I got my stone cold balls any where near you, you'd chop them off and use them to cool your scotch."

To Danny's surprise, the usually dour Dr. Scott burst out in a full belly laugh. "Someday, I am sure you will find your exotic woman. And I think we're sleeping close enough for you to call me Rachel now."

"You got a boyfriend Rachel?" Danny had to admit, the kid was either clueless or he had plenty of balls. Seemed like new guys were always one or the other.

Her reply was more guarded again. "I, um, I have…well that is to say, it's complicated."

Cossetti didn't press. Danny had assumed the good doc was single, what with her one track commitment to her work.

"And you Lieutenant?"

"I.." What should he call Kara? His girlfriend sounded so juvenile. Partner was a bit disingenuous when they hadn't even talked about staying together. He was too old to say hookup. "..I have someone, yes."

Cossetti leaned away. "Someone, like a woman or a man someone?"

Danny knew where Cossettii was headed with that. "I am half way through saving your sorry ass from hypothermia Ensign. Gay or straight, I should be your best friend right now. But no, a woman, I have a woman."

From the far side of the tent Dr. Scott, Rachel, snorted. "You have a woman? I didn't take you for the He-man type Green."

He inwardly groaned. He was too tired for this. "I am in a relationship with a woman. Is that better?" He tucked his head into his neck and breathed her scent from his scarf. When he got back to the ship he was going to give her a thorough thanks for the gift.

"So what's that like?" Oh my god this kid did not quit.

"It's the best thing in my life, and also the most terrifying kid. Try to sleep would you? I get cranky if I don't sleep."

Her arm was fine, although a nasty bruise was blooming, and the abrasion on her temple only stung a little thanks to some ointment from Doc Rios. Still, two hours later she was tossing in her bunk. Although there was gloomy light from the midnight sun outside, all she could see was white. Her mind kept playing over the data. What sign of the impending storm had she missed? Could she have predicted this storm based on this morning's observations? Finally, about an hour after she heard the change of the midnight watch, she decided she wasn't going to get any rest. She rose and dressed and attempted to hang out in the CIC.

It only took 10 minutes before Slattery saw her and sent her back to her stateroom. Although his expression was kind, his words were final. "You're on medical until morning Foster. Get back to your cozy stateroom before I send you to Doc Rios instead." In the end she wished she hadn't gone up there anyway. All she managed to learn was that in moving farther offshore, the ship had lost contact with the group onshore. It was just one more thing to worry about.

She slowly wandered back toward her room, holding the passage walls for support as the ship rocked. It was 0100. 8 more hours of hell, feeling helpless and useless. She bypassed her own door and made straight for Danny's. His flannel was lying over his desk chair where she had left it the morning before. Buttoning herself in, she figured if anyone was looking for her, Alisha would know where to find her. She crawled into his bed. Surrounded by his scent she finally slept. It wasn't an easy sleep and several times she woke, rocking in the darkness. Like the ship, her emotions pitched back and forth between frustration and anxiety. She wondered how it was going. If they had at least had radio contact they could know they were OK, even if uncomfortable out there, like when Burk was in the Congo.

What if the wind was whipping the tents too much? What if the sleet soaked through and they got wet inside? What if the spray had already wet the tents? What if the heat packs didn't work? What if they got too dehydrated. What it, what if, what if. It wouldn't stop. Her heart ached and she hated it. The last time she had felt like this her best friend had almost burned to death but at least she had been able to help him survive. The time before that her dad had been missing, miles behind a firebreak and there was nothing she could do about it. At least with Eric she hadn't found out until it was over.

Sometime in the wee small hours of the morning she woke for what felt like the 100th time. The tossing ship kept waking her and each time she caught a glimpse of what she was dreaming. This last time she saw herself in 10 years or so. She pulled into the drive of a white clapboard farmhouse in a minivan. It was the house she grew up in but there was a strange sedan parked in the drive. A sense of unease pricked the hairs on the back of her neck as three sandy haired, freckled kids in soccer uniforms tumbled out of the back and raced off toward the barn. She rounded the walk and the porch came into view. Two men in dress blues stood on her porch and she immediately recalled the last time something like this had happened. She collapsed to the ground knowing what it meant. When she woke she was shaking and gasping though tears. She had lived two versions of that scene already in her life. She had no intentions of ever living it again.

She cried then. Cried hot, angry tears of frustration that this perfect man had to turn out to have the least ideal career to be her partner in life. Cried big, fat pity tears that she was destined to go through life alone because she couldn't seem to find someone who would stay in the nice, safe little box she wanted to keep them in. Cried slow, sorrowful tears as she mourned a relationship she didn't have it in her to weather. She cried for what felt like hours until she realized she had come to a decision. There was a way to never live that day again. All she had to do was be strong enough to make a clean break now.

No one slept too well in the tent. The drone of the wind could be almost soothing but then Danny would start thinking of Kara. If he knew her, and he was pretty sure he did by now, she was pacing somewhere and worrying her lip. Or she was bossing around her staff to distract herself. She wouldn't say anything that would let on her depth of concern, but underneath her calm exterior she'd be a wreck. He wasn't even supposed to come back out with the last escort group that afternoon either. He realized, with a wry acceptance, that she would also probably lay into him once they were someplace private.

He drifted in and out of sleep for what felt like eternity. He was half dreaming when he realized that when he got back on board the Nathan James it was time to press her to commit to something more permanent... so he'd know what to call her when they got back to Norfolk. And so they could make their relationship more public. He doubted he could get her to move in with him, but maybe she'd at least keep a toothbrush in his bathroom drawer.

Sometime in the middle of the night Cossetti woke him. "Sir, I think Dr. Scott is too cold. She's shivering in her sleep." They woke her to add more heat packs around her feet and hands and Danny used his scarf to add one at her neck.

A while later he was dreaming of Kara, all dressed in her finery for the fleet admiral's holiday party. There were some benefits to being the son of an admiral after all. A voice was calling "It's time to go now." He could see her in an elegant forest green dress. Nothing garish or too sparkly for Kara. Her hair would be swept up in that smooth roll thing women did for parties. He should buy her something for her hair. A jeweled clip or something. "Party's over sleepyhead."

"One more dance Kar-" He woke up abruptly when Cossetti's bark of a laugh pierced his sleepy mind.

"Wake up Green. I hate to interrupt you dreaming of your Karen but it's time to go. We've made radio contact."

"Karen?" His sleep addled mind was slow to catch up.

"Yeah, you talk in your sleep dude." The younger man was folding the crinkly blankets and stuffing them away in sacks. Dr. Scott was taking the heat packs out of her socks and retying her boots. Halsey was shuffling his snout around in the fresh snow. "Made contact. They are launching in thirty minutes to try to collect us. Should we break this down or leave it?"

"Leave it. We'll warm up and they can send back another team to get it." Danny shook his head. That was a close call. As they stood on the shore and waited for the boat he started planning out what he ought to say once they were alone. There was less than a month to go and if he wanted to get her to agree to go public, he needed to build his case very slowly.

At 0900 Kara showed up in the CIC with her game face on. She checked her gages but refused to pause when relief that the pressure had inched up crashed over her. She took the news that there was still no communication from the shore team without flinching. She worked with Gator to guess what direction to search for the Zodiac when everything was over. By 1000 hours the seas were back to 6 foot waves which was manageable for the small craft. She clapped when radio contact was reestablished but she didn't enter the bridge to hear what was said. She dispassionately suggested that Burk and Cruz go retrieve the shore team. She didn't even volunteer to be on deck when they returned but dutifully went when Chandler requested that she accompany him.


	45. Chapter 45 - One Lonely Night

When my sister was 6 we went to Florida for spring break. We went to this big water park called Wet and Wild. At some point in the day my sisyer got lost. My mother was frantic and pretty soon all the guards and managers were looking for her. Finally someone spotted her at the top of one of the giant death plunge slides. Apparently she'd spent the last hour going up and down them by herself while we were looking around the kiddie pool. When my mother got a hold of her there was quite the scolding. I think people on the other side of the lake heard her yelling. I remember thinking I would never yell at my kid like that because then they would run away again. Ha. Now I've done the exact same thing to my kids many times.

**One Lonely Night, REO Speedwagon**

Kara was on deck when the RIB Burk and Benz had taken to get the group from the island finally pulled up alongside the Nathan James. She watched as Slattery, distinctive in his orange knit toque, directed a team of seaman to meet the frigid group with blankets and usher them into the heated passageways where Doc Rios was waiting to evaluate them for frostbite. As the RIB had pulled up she noticed Danny was not wearing any gloves. As each set of hands gripped the top rail and hauled another person up off the ladder, Kara's tension mounted. Was he ok? Surely he would have gotten off first if he wasn't, right? Her eyes were dry with lack of sleep but she couldn't risk blinking. Dr. Scott emerged first and assured Commander Chandler that she was fine. "Your men took excellent care of me, Commander. We are tired and hungry, but everyone is fine." Kara recognized the scarf she had given Danny around Dr. Scott's neck. Self sacrificing idiot, she thought. Burk emerged over the edge carrying Halsey. As soon as he set the dog down she sank to her knees and called him over. Danny always carried the dog. Always. If he couldn't...She buried her hands in Halsey's fur and began checking his ears and paws over. She was no expert but she had checked animals for frostbite many times on the farm so she had an idea what to do. He seemed fine. She sank her face into his warm fur for a moment willing the same to be true for the entire group.

A familiar hand finally gripped the edge of the deck followed by 190 pounds of very worn male. The sense of relief that swept over Kara was so overwhelming that she felt tears prick her eyes. She hadn't realized, until she unclenched her fingers and her hands ached, that she had been gripping the railing quite so hard. She gave him the once over as he was quickly ushered across the deck to the warm interior of the ship. His cheeks were rosy and he had his hands tucked under his armpits to keep warm. No hat either. Damn foolish men. It seemed like every last one of them crashed through life without a care in the world until they ended up dead. Never again, never again, never again, her mind echoed.

He smiled when he saw her with Halsey and gave a curt nod, looking confused when she didn't smile back. He frowned and rubbed his temple in a silent question when he noticed the abrasion on hers. Before she had a chance to reassure him that she was fine or to even ask if he was OK, Commander Chandler was asking for details and they were moving toward the open doors. Danny appeared to ask something and the commander turned back toward her for a moment. "Lieutenant Foster can take the dog to be fed." She nodded back. "Aye Sir." As far as she could tell Danny was fine, but she would like to ask him herself, or least hear him tell someone else.

Rising to her feet she patted her thigh. "Come on boy, dinnertime." The dog, seemingly unaffected by the night spent in the cold, trotted happily beside her as they made their way to the mess. The ten minutes it took for the dog to slurp three cups of soup felt like an hour. Her worry, temporarily put to rest by the easy way Danny had sauntered off with Chandler flared to life again. What was taking so long? Surely briefing the captain only took a few minutes. Did he have frostbite? Had Doc Rios put him under observation? Her ears strained to hear every conversation around her for an update. When a seaman came out with a tray of cups and a jug of coffee she seized the opportunity. "Are you taking that to the infirmary?"

The seaman looked surprised. "No Ma'am. To the wardroom. The captain is serving a meal for the shore team."

"Thank you sailor. I am going there myself." She held out her hand expectantly and he handed her the jug and tray. "Heel Halsey." The dog fell in behind her and she made her way down the short passageway to the wardroom.


	46. Chapter 46 - Love Is A Battlefield

I've pre-empted my annual Memorial Day Weekend/Oldest Daughter's Birthday trip to the beach by getting sunburned through the windshield of the car on the way here. It hurts now, but I suppose I'll be even better than usual about protecting myself with sunscreen later today. Then I drank a cold beer with spicy Mexican food even though I knew I'd suffer the consequences later. So here I am at 5 AM, writing to keep myself sitting up and hopefully my dinner down. But, my daughter loves the beach and one of the guests with us has to eat both gluten and dairy free so Mexican restaurants are pretty safe bet so I'd gladly do it again. Anyhow, imagine staying home or skipping the cold beer just in case. I have way too much living left to do to start limiting myself like that.

**Love is a Battlefield, Pat Benatar**

The team had been back for 12 hours, long enough to brief Chandler, eat, shower, and sleep. Danny was beginning to wonder if Kara was going to come see him when she tapped lightly on his door. She had looked worried when Chandler had dismissed her from the wardroom earlier and he'd like to reassure her that everything was fine. Sensing something must be wrong, because she usually just entered he shrugged into a shirt before opening the door, just in case she wasn't alone out there. But she was alone so he grasped her wrist and pulled her inside. Then, feeling much more rested than he had when he climbed aboard this morning, he immediately pulled her into a tight hug. He buried his face in her neck and breathed in. She smelled of her pomegranate shampoo and the silky strands of her hair caught on the stubble he had yet to shave. But she felt stiff and awkward in his arms. "I missed you last night, but I'm glad you're here now." He attempted to break into her thoughts.

Her response was not the welcoming kiss he was expecting. She pushed herself back from him. Her face twisted in pain. "I can't be with someone reckless." The finality in her voice stung.

Danny's heart dropped into his stomach. He almost thought he had heard her wrong. "Kara, what are you talking about?" What the heck was going on? "Why would you break things off now?"

"I can't, I just don't have it in me, to deal with another guy playing cowboy. I warned you from that start that I don't date military. I know what you guys are like and I should never have broken my rule." She was shaking like a leaf, she was wound so tight. He wasn't even touching her and yet he could sense it.

She waved a hand in the air as if she could magically erase him. "I'm not willing to do this, whatever, anymore." She was looking over his shoulder at the wall behind him. Damn it, she couldn't even look him in the eye when she rejected him? A flush of anger clouded his freckles.

"Kara, look at me." He pleaded. She swung her eyes to his face but somehow didn't make eye contact at the same time. Her jaw was clenched tight and her hands were gripping her hips. Jesus, where was this coming from? "I am not reckless, when I work or otherwise." She shied away briefly when he tried to take her hands in his. "Just because you didn't want me to go doesn't make it reckless. Whatever has got you freaked out, knock it off. I value my hide as much as anyone. And that storm, it was no big deal. I have been in far worse."

Her eyes flashed then. "That's exactly it. You have been and you will be in worse." She poked him in the pectoral and damn that hurt. "I am not doing this. I just wanted a little fun. You know, the sex. I am not getting attached."

He snorted. "You just want sex, no attachment so that's why you're kicking me to the curb?" He was beginning to think he might understand and he wasn't sure which he wanted to do more, kiss her silly or scream in frustration. She was already attached. She was resisting to be sure, but there was no denying she had strong feelings for him already. Otherwise she wouldn't have cared if he froze to death or not. He felt strangely elated considering she was in the middle of dumping him.

She stared him down, her arms now crossed tightly akimbo. "I don't want to be with someone who volunteers for the risky assignments. I want someone who will look out for themselves. I want to be able to trust that someone will be there when I need them. You can't be that guy. You don't have it in you to take the safe route. So this thing ends today." She turned violently to show herself out.

She was running away and he felt like he was miles behind her and would never catch up. "Don't go like that." He cringed at the sound of pleading in his voice, but he was desperate for her to stop, give him a chance to change her mind. She paused, hand on the knob. "You can't go through life that way Kara. No one can guarantee they will be there forever." She hung her head a little farther, not meeting his eyes again. "Are you so closed off that you can't see that the small risk of grief is worth it?" His voice cracked the the effort of holding himself in place. He didn't want to physically stop her like the last time she had run from him. Things were different now. He was different now. He wanted her to want him, not to use him, not to let herself be used. What else could he say? "I cannot tell you something won't happen to me someday, but you can't say that about yourself either. All I can say is that I try my hardest to make this world a little safer for everyone one mission at a time. I am damn good at what I do, but I'm not invincible, and I know that."

She looked back at him then, her eyes haunted. "But you volunteered to stay out there. You didn't have to do that. It's easy for you to say I should take the risk when you've never experienced the consequences. You don't know what it will cost the people you leave behind." That stung, and it was true, but it didn't mean he didn't know it was worth it.

He knew this was hurting her deeply and he wished it didn't have to. He was sure she was thinking of her father and her brothers and it sucked what had happened to them but it wasn't a good reason to stay home, work a desk. There was no guarantee that would be any safer. But she had to decide for herself to take the risk on someone. He couldn't force her. Softly he reminded her of why. "I did have to do it. I was in command of that team. Either Benz or I had to drive the remaining RIB and the other had to stay back for the 2nd trip. Benz's boots were wet already, he couldn't stay out there."

"Hrmph" She didn't say anything but he took that as a sign she was listening. "That's who I am. I'm always going to do what's right, even when it's difficult. You and I both know you would have no respect for a man who shirked his duty to others, to the mission."

"That might be true." A spark of hope flared in him but she quickly doused it. "… but I think that means I need a man with other duties then." There was a regretful hitch in her voice. "Because I cannot bear another night of wondering if you have frozen to death or fallen in a crevasse or otherwise suffered. It would break me."

"Don't do this to us Kara." He pleaded again. "Don't pull away from me. You know I care about you and I'd never deliberately hurt you." He was grasping at straws now, knowing if she went out that door whatever feelings she had for him now might get buried.

"There is no us, Danny. There never was." Her mournful voice cut right to his gut. That's not what this was about, and you know it." He wanted more than anything to hold her to him and let her cry it all out but her body was still wedged rigidly against the door and he knew she wouldn't let him near her. "There's too much risk we'll be caught, too much risk it will end badly for the both of us. I can't let it go on. I think it's best if we stay strictly prof..professional from now on." She wrenched the door open and stomped away.

His stomach clenched at the sight of her tears with a mix of anger and regret. He slammed the door, not caring who heard, and flopped back on his bunk. She was right, he didn't know what it was like to lose someone that close, but he wanted that in a general sense. He wanted to have someone who would cry if something happened to him. He wanted to have someone he could worry over every once in a while too. The expression you can't fight crazy came to mind but he corrected himself. Kara wasn't crazy. In fact it was more that she was so damn logical that she was robbing herself of all the pleasure in life.

He rolled and smashed his face into his pillow. So, he was alone again in the world. It wasn't the first time and it probably wouldn't be the last. But, for the first time in a long time, he wished he could go home, not to Norfolk, but to the Connecticut house where he had spent summers with his mother, where emotions ruled over logic and rules and people seemed genuinely happy. He lay in bed a long time that night thinking about what a home should really be like. He wondered how long it would take before those images stopped including Kara and if he had the patience to wait for her to see how cold it was when your home was truly empty.


	47. Chapter 47 - Cold As Ice

**Cold as Ice, Foreigner**

The week after the storm seemed to stretch on forever. With the drone project finished, the weapons testing in its final stages, and the weather back to normal Kara didn't have any extra work to distract herself. Plus, the fact that she was trying to avoid Danny in the common areas meant that she spent most of the time outside of meals and her workouts in her room. She had watched every movie and read every book she had brought and she had read all of Alisha's magazines too.

Due to the improvement in the weather someone had decided on a "Spring Break" theme for poker night but Burk and Alisha gave up trying to convince her to go. "You know there was no way you could have known that storm was going to turn that way." Burk misinterpreted her foul mood, but she appreciated the effort.

"I know, but I just don't feel like celebrating right now. Maybe next week." She tried to smile convincingly. She just kept telling herself that if breaking away from Danny was so hard now, imagine how hard it would have been if they stayed together longer.

She saw Danny of course, and even talked with him. Slattery held a briefing about a chemical/bio hazard drill he wanted to run. He brought all the lieutenants and chiefs together to go over procedures and training they should review with their junior staff. Every time she saw him her heart pounded in her ears and her stomach churned in agony with a terrible feeling of guilt. It didn't help that Danny sat directly across from her looking as miserable as she felt. When asked, he just blamed it on the cold that was going around. Halsey, who she also missed more than she expected, sat with his head in her lap through the entire meeting. It was both soothing and bittersweet.

As they rose to leave Danny tried to make a joke "You can't steal my dog Foster. He's the only one I've got to accept the flag at my funeral."

She was caught off guard and didn't answer. Her mouth dropped when Benz replied for her. "Dude, I'll be there for you." Although the others laughed, she only managed a meek smile and ducked into the head so she didn't have to walk with the group. When she re-emerged she was surprised to see Frankie leaning against the wall waiting.

She had a feeling he was waiting for her, but she didn't want to hear his wingman talk right now so she feigned ignorance about his purpose. "All yours." And headed off a a brisk pace.

"Foster, Kara, hey wait!" He jogged to her side, stopping her before she reached the C.I.C.. "Would you just stop for a minute woman?"

She sighed. As far as she could tell, Georgie had totally mis-characterized Frankie when she called him an egotistical jerk. And he wouldn't have Danny's friendship and respect if he wasn't a half decent human being. But she didn't want to hear about how unfair she was being to Danny or how she was throwing away a good thing or whatever he was going to say. She turned on him with a scowl. "Look Frankie, this is really none of anyone's business. So whatever you were going to say, save it." She didn't wait for a response but as she turned away he placed a hand on her forearm.

"I was just going to ask if you were ok. That's all." His soft entreaty cut through her misery just a bit.

"Thanks, I'll be fine, eventually ."

"Well, if you need someone to commiserate with you can hang out with me. Until very recently I was as unlucky with love as anyone."

She was really touched. "Thanks Frankie. That's sweet of you. But right now I just feel like being alone."

"The both of you are leaving me high and dry this week. Who's going to be my date for Spring Break tonight?"

She laughed but the humor never reached her eyes. "I don't know. Maybe you can snag a passing tourist."

Danny sat at the edge of the party. No matter how much he tried to convince himself that he shouldn't be any less content than before he met her, he couldn't. He knew he had been sullen and brooding all week but he couldn't help it. He felt like crap and he couldn't bring himself to act otherwise.

The XO was gathering a group for some poker and he figured he might as well join it. He could lose all his deserts for a week to Carlton and he wouldn't care. He wasn't going to be feeling any worse. Kara wasn't there. He didn't know if she was on duty or if she just didn't show but nonetheless, he noticed. He wondered if he went to talk to her now, if she'd even let him in. Probably not. She'd spent the week hiding from him and he was trying hard to give her space. But when you only had 509 feet to work with there wasn't much space to give.

After losing in the first round of the poker games he exited. He needed to burn off his frustration. If he was home he'd go for a run, but running on deck in the dark didn't have the same sense of pounding punishment. So, he went for the next best thing, the gym.

But that's where he found her. She was on the stationary rower, back to the door, drenched in sweat. Every stroke was an explosion of power, then there was a seamlessly smooth transition to the glide for the next stroke. She executed each stroke with the precision and control she brought to all her tasks, but the evidence of her effort clung in a glittering sheen to her arms and the back of her tank was soaked through. The tendrils of hair that had escaped her bun stuck to her damp neck. He had seen her workout hard before but this was something else. The swoosh of the fanwheel was interrupted only by the cord of her headphones slapping against her shoulder with each stroke and her breaths echoing into the otherwise empty gym. Although a voyeuristic guilt crept over him, he couldn't bring himself to move past the door and disturb her. After a few minutes she went into her final sprint, her usual smooth control suddenly forgotten. It was a rare thing to see her out of control anywhere other than in his bed. He stared transfixed. She was glorious when she let herself free. With a few final grunting strokes she reached her goal and her strokes slowed. When she eventually came to a stop and hung her head over the monitor, gasping and gulping for air her realized that the drips falling to the mats beneath her were not sweat, but tears.

It wasn't his fault. He knew it wasn't. But seeing that she was as miserable as he was brought the crushing sickness of his grief back on him. He turned and fled.


	48. Chapter 48 - With or Without You

I toured the USS Alabama with my family yesterday. It's a WWII battleship so both older and larger than the Nathan James (680 feet to 509). It was awesome, as in gigantic! Although, once you get inside it is a confusing warren of tiny rooms. And when you consider 2500 men served on it at a time it just blows your mind away. (By comparison, the Nathan James crew + guests is around 220 people.) I got to go into the gun turret that was just like the one my grandfather manned (and blew his ear drums out in). My youngest daughter raced up the ladders for all eight decks, and then had to be carried down because her chubby 3 year old legs couldn't do the reverse trip. I also caught my knees more than once on the knee knockers. My oldest just did a report on Rosie the the Riveter so everywhere we went on the ship she pointed out the construction tasks that women did in making it. The engineer in me really liked the water and oil testing lab and the system for loading the 2400 lb rounds from deep within the ship. And the catapult to launch planes off the bow was totally terrifying. The wardroom reminded me of the rec room at a YMCA but the chief's mess looked more like the taproom out behind my favorite diner.

The ship is part of a big park with planes on display, a submarine, and also several memorials. My dad pretended he was allergic to the flowers at the Vietnam memorial garden but the rest of us just admitted how moving it was. I thought the memorial to service dogs was really cool. There were an awful lot of them named King. There was a B-52 just like the ones that used to make training flights over my house when I was a kid.

All in all, it was a great way to spend half a day. It really gives you a greater appreciation for what our service people go through and what lengths we as a nation have gone to when we thought there was just cause. Tomorrow is Memorial Day. It's a good time to forget about politics and remember that thousands have given their lives to give us the lives we have today. What would you sacrifice to protect your friends and family? How about to make life better for people you've never even met half way around the world? I suspect that's part of my fascination with apocalyptic themes. People don't know what they will do until they are asked. Anyhow, the next time someone asks me to do something for them, I might just think about the word service a little differently.

**With or Without You, U2**

The second week of August, when Kara began her self imposed recovery, as she termed it, was a disaster. First off, she had terrible cramps and really just wanted to stay in bed. Secondly, the cold that was going around was making everyone miserable too. All the personnel were on mixed up schedules to let those that needed a little rest have it.

The week began with the first real failure in the C.I.C.. Kara came onto her watch shift in the middle of the 2nd to last round of weapons tests. She was supposed to assist Lieutenant Tim Barker, the TAO, in a mock offensive battery using simulated long range missile launches. As she was briefed by the seaman she was replacing she immediately ascertained that a critical error had been made in the trajectory calculations set for the battery taking place in 15 minutes. The coordinates for the landing zone were somewhere in the Canadian Rockies. Not wanting a repeat of her screw up with the weather, she grabbed a calculator and began redoing the calculations by hand rather than alert Barker. When she reached a part that required positional data from Gator she tried to ask quietly, but Barker was alerted.

"Foster, something the matter?" She and Tim had worked together for years so she knew best not to challenge him but rather to let him come to his own conclusions. He was pretty smart, but he could get flustered and sharp with his staff under pressure.

"Well, I thought these calculations looked different from the ones we did last week, so I began checking manually, and Gator here was helping me gather the position data." Tim looked unimpressed.

"We have 10 minutes until simulated launch. We don't have time to check that stuff again Foster." She realized by the way Barker's hands gripped the edge of the console that he was already stressed enough by the testing without her challenging him. She wondered how the earlier runs had gone.

"I know that. That's why I was trying to be quick and I haven't changed the existing settings in the computer yet." She'd hoped he'd agree with her cautious approach but instead he shook his head.

"Nevermind that. Get on the comm to the bridge and make sure they are all ready to fire."

"But.."

He cut her off with a raised palm. "The computer calculates the range for us. Why wouldn't it be right?"

She did what she was ordered as quickly as possible and then returned to her calculations. She was almost to the last value when the timer on her screen, indicating that she needed to lock in the range began to flash. She rushed to complete the new calculation and just her luck, her fingers slipped and she had to clear her calculator and start entering again.

"Kara, lock it in!" Barker ordered impatiently from his console opposite hers.

"Take a pass. It isn't right. I'll finish recalculating and we'll take the next opportunity for a shot." She turned back to her paper and tried to tune out the distractions.

"I'm not passing. I want top marks on this." Barkler was leaning over her console.

She raised her voice "We're projecting the path of a 800 pound ballistic missile Tim. It's not tin cans on a fence."

"We're not passing!" He reached for her keyboard.

"Hey! Just a...second!" Her calculator popped up a new number, one that made much more sense, but as she reached to enter it Barker hit the enter key a fraction of a second before she could. He sat back satisfied grin. "Sometimes a man has to do.."

"Shove it Barker. That value was wrong so I hope you're happy with your failure." Her cheeks flamed as she felt everyone's eyes on her. It was a rare day when Kara Foster had cross words for anyone.

She watched as a cascade of acceptance messages flooded her screen. Gator made a position update and the entire C.I.C. waited to see if they would make simulated contact... and waited, and waited.

"What happened?" Barker demanded. "You didn't change the value, didn't you?" He stood and glared at her from his side of the console.

"XO in the C.I.C.." The junior watch officer announced. They stood and Kara felt her gut drop like a lead weight. She had never messed up something like that before. She hung her head and glared at her shoes like a middle school delinquent and waited to be addressed. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe Slattery would see that she was right and reprimand Tim instead.

"We missed for the third time today." Slattery gave her and Tim a steely glare. "And the entire bridge was just treated to a very juvenile bit from you two." The rest of the room was silent. It wasn't lost on anyone that he hadn't released them from attention.

"Sir I.." "Sir, we believe..." Both Kara and Barker attempted to answer.

"Foster, how did you know the calculations were wrong in the first place?"

"The projected longitude is somewhere in North America, sir. I had a strong suspicion but I didn't know for sure."

"Why didn't you tell Barker that?"

"I did tell him it was wrong." She realized why Tim hadn't been as responsive as she wanted. rubbing her brow in self-frustration she continued "And I see now that by not telling him how I knew, he had no reason to question the original number." The red heat of humiliation stung her cheeks.

"And you, Tim," The XO turned on her colleague. "After the first two failures you should have stepped back, taken a closer look beyond the flight diagnostics. The simulated missile functioned perfectly, but the input was the real problem. When a good mate like Foster questions information you don't dig in, she's not questioning your authority, she's supporting it, so you examine the possibility that something is wrong." He towered over the both of them. "Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir." They answered in unison.

"Now, no time to get hung up on it now. Get to work because we sure as hell are not going to miss the next pass." Glancing around the room, the XO took command. "Foster, Gator, make the manual calculations on the tac board. Barker and I will run the computer data and compare. Ten minutes. Go."

The rest of the morning passed without further incidents. Kara's initial assessment of the range had been correct and once the newly calculated values were entered a target over the pole in the Barents Sea was identified. The fourth, fifth, and sixth rounds went without a hitch. Before Tim went off duty they briefly apologized to each other and Kara was satisfied that they'd probably work better together in the future. Still, she was pissed at herself and spent the walk back to her cabin strategizing for how to show she knew her stuff on the final test.


	49. Chapter 49 - Total Eclipse of The Heart

I started taking dance classes when I was four. By third grade I was still chubby and clumsy with no sense of rhythm. But I persisted in taking classes although I was beginning to realize that I wasn't destined to be the prima ballerina. The class right after ours was pointe and the teacher would warm up in between in her pretty shoes with the silk ribbons. I coveted her shoes and had visions of myself twirling around on my toes as light as a feather. At the end of the year our teacher gave a demo to this song. Then she sat us all down for a talk about the years of ballet, in the regular slippers, that we would need to do before we could move on to pointe. My dream of being a ballerina dried up shortly after. Along the way so have my hopes of being a guitar playing rock star, opera singer, Olympic swimmer, dolphin trainer, and genius inventor. Who knows, maybe I would have found my way and been a spectacular dancer eventually, but I wouldn't have had the time to also take up rowing, which it turned out I loved and had an aptitude for. There are tradeoffs to every decision we make, every dream we decide to pursue. It's important to let our dreams grow as we do and not feel locked into any one future. Every now and then it's important to examine our skills, abilities, and interests critically, rather than let someone else do it for us.

**Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie Tyler**

Kara decided to skip her meal and workout and just take a long shower and a nap. She still had rotten cramps and now a sore throat so she figured a little sleep would help. She really just wanted to curl up and be alone. However, she returned from the showers to find a messenger waiting to inform her that her presence was requested for dinner with Commander Chandler that evening, service dress blues required. "Is Lieutenant Commander Barker also attending?" she asked the messenger. She supposed it really had been too much to expect that they would not be reprimanded by the captain. She felt a wave of relief as the ensign replied that yes, it would be her, Barker, but also Miller, O'Connor and a number of junior staff in attendance. That meant it was more likely Chandler had some kind of training he was going to ask her and Barker to run as their educational punishment. She had been with Chandler long enough to know he was very unlikely to ever formally write someone up if he thought they had learned their lesson. But, in the back of her mind the possibility of a demotion had still existed.

Despite being exhausted her nap eluded her. It was just well since and she had to spend 30 minutes pressing her dress blues and transferring her ribbons so the rest of her afternoon passed quickly. Given that it was the shift change when she hustled down the p-way to the wardroom, her formal uniform drew quite a few questioning glances. As if her nerves weren't keyed up enough, she had to shuffle past Danny in the opening between the officer's living quarters and the central workrooms. His eyes widened at the sight of her attire. "Is everything OK Lieutenant?"

"Fine." She grit her teeth and continued on. None of his business, she told herself. At precisely 1800 hours she entered the wardroom. "Permission to enter, sir."

"Welcome Foster. Glad to see you and Barker are as punctual as usual." Chandler, Master Chief, Miller, O'Connor, and three of Danny's puppies were also there. She only recognized one, the formerly seasick Cossetti. "Come sit." She had eaten many formal meals with the Commander and even an admiral or two on occasion, but since she was wondering if she was about to be demoted, she felt unusually awkward. As the only woman, she sat on the Captain's right and the rest of the group sat immediately. Master Chief was on her right, Barker across from her. As dinner was served the conversation remained casual. Master Chief gave a brief blessing, the solemnity of his voice lending an aura of somber civility to the gathering. They tucked into their food. Finally, after 10 minutes of relative quiet, Commander Chandler set down his fork and began speaking.

"You may wonder why I've asked you all to dinner." All eyes in the room swung toward the CO. Kara remembered well how intimidating he had seemed when she was a new officer. He still was, but now she was nervous because she felt she had disappointed him. "Go on, finish your dinners. This isn't a really formal meal anyway." He leaned on his elbows. Master Chief made a show of asking for the peas to get the eating started again. "It is very common, when an officer takes a new role be it a new rank or new duties, that he takes a while to feel comfortable. With each new level of authority comes new responsibilities both up and down the chain. You all have had a moment or two in the last few weeks when you faltered." He paused for effect and Kara realized that each person, not just herself, was recalling their own missteps. He gave them his best fatherly look. "So here's the thing. We all screw up. And quite honestly, I'd rather it happen often in your junior careers and rarely as you progress up the chain. You all have leadership potential but it takes a lot of mistakes and a lot of learning to get there." All eyes were fixed on him. "So I'm going to tell you about a time I screwed up and how it turned me into the man I am now over desert. Then we're just going to chat and get to be a stronger, more supportive team."

As he talked, Kara felt her tension leave. She realized she had been wound so tight for the last two weeks she could hardly move. But if Chandler, whom she respected on so many levels, believed in her despite her errors, things might be looking up. Maybe she'd move past her mistake with Danny too and somehow be stronger for it.

They had moved on to coffee when Cossetti asked "Commander, what's the hardest thing about your job?"

Kara expected him to say something about the guilt of firing on targets or the stress of having so many people depend on you. She was surprised when he answered "I suppose it's the same for me as for any sailor. Sometimes I'm lonely. And sometimes I worry about my wife and kids. Darian, that's my wife, knew what I did when she met me and what she was getting into. She can handle things without me. But sometimes I worry that makes me obsolete in my own family." There were nods around the table. I was a universal feeling apparently. "But then I recall that my family is like this entire crew. And I might not be needed by each and everyone at all times, but when you're part of a family you are a member even when you're not needed. And family is a two way street. That's how I like my crew to operate, and that's how I think people function best, when they have someone backing them up and someone to be there for too." Clearly Chandler had struck a chord because three of the men put down their forks to listen. "And I remind myself everyday that every man, and woman, wants to leave behind the same thing, a safe and secure world for their children, or children in general, to grow in. And that's why what we do is important…so every day I just get up and keep doing that."

Kara barely heard the rest of the conversation. She was thinking about family. She imagined what life must be like for Darian Chandler. She had met her several times. She was a teacher with a career of her own. The two Chandler kids were nice, but it must be a little lonely watching her husband, their dad, go off for months at a time. She must really believe in what he was doing and believe it was worth it for their family in the long run.

As she walked back to her room and went through the motions of her evening cleanup she wondered if her mother had felt it was worth it when her father had gone away. She remembered the crushing hurt she'd felt when he'd told he was needed in Colorado and couldn't come home for her graduation. She had told him it was OK. Someone needed him and she was proud that he could help them. But later that night she'd cried into her pillow because he was her dad, and she needed him too. For years she had felt guilty for lying to her father in their very last conversation and for resenting his absence while unbeknown to her he had been dying. But suddenly the CO had given her a new perspective. She had never given any thought until now to the fact that it must have been hard for her dad to be away from his family too. He had needed to know that his family believed in him while he made sacrifices. She spent a long time that night thinking about conversations she was long overdue to have with her mother when she got home.

She had pretty much left Kansas at 18 without looking back. The memories had been too sharp and immediate and she'd needed to get away from that little town. Everyone she met talked about her family of heroes. Every conversation had felt like a condemnation of her resentment. Her mother had supported her every step of the way, but what had she done for her mother but left her to follow the same footsteps as if someone else, somewhere else needed her more? Until she had brought Debbie to Norfolk she had only seen her a few times a year. She hadn't been there to celebrate birthdays, mourn her father and brother on their birthdays, or help her mother put her life back together. No wonder she had turned to drinking. A different kind of sadness swept over her and she hoped it wasn't too late to work on her relationship with her mother when she got back home.

As she drifted deeper toward sleep, the same vision of herself in a minivan that she had had a few weeks before flashed before her again. Her initial relief that this time there were no men waiting on her front porch gave way to a cold sweat as the eerie silence of the empty yard hit her. She unlocked her door and it swung inward with a loud creak. A pile of mail skittered across the front hall floor as she entered and dust mites sifted through the air as she passed pristine rooms. She passed pictures of her brothers and parents and three boys with familiar green eyes on her way to the kitchen but when she called out no one answered.

Suddenly she was assaulted with an acrid smell from the basement door. She turned to open it but flames were licking up the door frame. She ran out to the hallway where there was a phone to call for help but the stairs were engulfed in flames as well. The pictures of her family were melting and vaporizing as if they'd never existed. It's too late. It's too late she thought frantically as she reached out to try to save them. But instead of reaching the wall she fell through the smoke into a thick fog. It was blanketing the deck of the Nathan James and a blessed rush of clean salty air filled her lungs. Everyone she'd ever served with was standing at attention, dress whites sharp against the blue sky. Their movements were stilted and mechanical and she saw a copy of herself snap a robotic salute in unison. When she moved to salute in return she realized she couldn't because she was wrapped in a sheet. And it wasn't actually foggy, the cloth was over her face obscuring the view. She began to panic, thrashing to free herself but no one noticed. She was being dragged to the side and lifted, and suddenly she was falling and all she could see was the hard smack of water rushing up to meet her.

She woke with a start, heart pounding in her ears, drenched in sweat and nauseous. She struggled out of her twisted sheets to rise. Her stomach tossed and she leaned over the trash can, heaving great gasps of air, until her heart rate slowed and her sensation of motion sickness calmed. What was wrong with her these days? Checking her ipod she saw it was only 0400. Her first thought was to go see Danny because he'd make her feel safe. But of course, he was out of the question. She glanced at Alisha's bunk even though she knew she'd be on the bridge and found it empty as expected. With a wave of loneliness she realized that she couldn't bear the thought of laying down to sleep again so she dressed in her PT gear, blasted some music through her headphones, and headed out to drown her anxiety in another good workout.


	50. Chapter 50 - Owner of a Lonely Heart

I missed the surprise episode yesterday and I'm madder than the time my best friend and I totaled my car at 2 AM in Poughkeepsie and didn't realize until it was too late that the reason the other guy didn't want to call the cops was that it was his fault. For the record, I can't recommend the 84 Motel.

**Owner of a Lonely Heart, Yes**

"What was up with Kara and Tim yesterday?" Slattery asked Chandler. "Do you know if something is going with either of them?" They were sitting in Chandler's stateroom where Chandler was adding a sweater to ward off a chill that came with a racking cough.

"No. Neither of them said anything at my little dinner last night. They sure picked a shitty time to lose it." Chandler's voice was filled with mild rancor. "Perhaps they are just getting antsy about finishing this training and heading back to Norfolk." He mused as he sipped his coffee. "I know I feel like crap, and there is no place I'd rather be than hiding under the covers in my own bed."

"Maybe they are anxious to get home then?" Slattery coughed violently. "Gah, if Garnett wasn't already down I would have taken Doc Rios up on the medical rest order.

Chandler sipped his coffee patiently. "Foster's got her mother who just moved from Kansas to get back to. Rumor is she's a 12 step pro. But I don't know of anything going on with Barker. The two of them have worked together so well for.."

Slattery interrupted excitedly, standing up from where he had been casually leaning against the arm of the small sofa. "You don't think they are having an affair do you? I generally prefer to stay out of it but if that's the reason…"

Chandler waved him off. "Nah, Foster is way too level headed for that. They are both new to their positions and Foster is still rattled from that storm. But they both have serious leadership potential and you know if you fall off the horse…"

"…best to get right back on." A wide grin split Slattery's face. "I'm thinking you and I need a few easy days and we have four days before the last weapons test. Command escalation practice?"

Chandler answered Slattery's smile with one of his own. "I think we have a solution. But make them aware this is half punishment, half reward."


	51. Chapter 51 - In Between Days

So I can't remember what I said when I posted this chapter before but my friend 16 going on 42's Gram had a place down in Westport, CT and we did spend a summer at the beach. He had a Laser of his own and we had tons of fun all over the sound…and nearly drowned ourselves several times. The day I most remember though was in August. Our group of friends spent a cloudy day goofing off at the beach. 16 going on 42 and I were showing off with the Laser, and had it heeled over and I was dragging my foot over the opposite side of the little hull to counter and I got a jellyfish wrapped around my ankle and man that stung. Then my hands got all stung trying to pick the tentacles off. They were so swollen I had to let another friend drive me home (Actually it was Police-fan but we weren't dating yet.) We ended up making out against the side of my mother's red minivan in 16 going on 42's driveway though. And once we were dating he taught me how to juggle and ride a unicycle, among other things. Riding a unicycle isn't very useful unless you live in someplace like Portland and can ride to work, like Police-Fan does. Here in Mississippi I think you're sort of asking for trouble with that.

The first person I ever had a crush on also lives in Portland now and she went to The Cure's concert last week. I am so jealous of her. She was always so much cooler than I was. Although they don't know each other, I do envision her and Police-Fan hanging out at Powell's sometimes. I bet she can't juggle though. I got stung by a jellyfish when I was at the beach two days ago but I didn't swell up at all. And I had to drive my own red minivan home to my own driveway, where I do not have a unicycle, but I do occasionally still juggle fruit in the kitchen.

**In Between Days, The Cure**

During Barker's watch on the bridge, Kara manned the TAO position. Now that they had cooled down, they were back to working effectively. Kara was careful to keep her temper in check and Barker, for all he puffed his chest and strutted about the bridge, kept his autocratic tendencies in check too. The seven hour watch passed rapidly with no major mishaps. A team went to the shore and back. In the C.I.C. Kara directed a team recording drone video for Dr. Scott and even the practice run of the missile launching protocol that Slattery made them repeat went well. Kara could only hope that her turn on the bridge went as smoothly.

When she began her shift the next day, there was no indication that it would be an unusual day. She had made a brief morning weather check on her way to the bridge and all the signs pointed to a sunny and cold day. The wind was a steady 5 knots and the seas were relatively calm. After a brief set of instructions from Commander Chandler, she took her place in the captain's chair. She had worked this role before but never without the captain or XO on the bridge observing. Chandler had informed her that he was ill and going to bed. "And don't bother Slattery or Garnett unless you absolutely have to. We all need to get over this thing." She consulted the clipboard of ship's activities hanging from the console in front of her. She really didn't need to read it over since she was the one who had prepared it the day before, but she checked just that same to steady her nerves. She rubbed a sweaty palm down her pant leg to dry it and took a deep breath to clear the slightly sea sick feeling from her stomach.

Shore team prep at 0800. Benz to brief on personnel and activities.

Fuel and systems check at 0845.

Coffee at 0945

Master Chief's daily briefing over coffee at 0945

And so on..

She began making her rounds for the daily briefings. There were plenty of small decisions to make, advice to give, but overall, nothing gave her any worries. By the time she left the bridge in Alisha's capable hands for her coffee briefing with the Master Chief, the butterflies in her stomach had settled to a gentle roil. Jeter filled her in on who was sick and how he was covering essentials and they had a pleasant chat about how some of the juniors in the C.I.C. were working out. She realized that she didn't communicate with the Master Chief nearly enough. He was very knowledgeable about people on board. Of course, that made his "And how are you doing? You seem a little stressed lately." all the more difficult to answer.

Everything was going peacefully until about 1100 hours. The shore team had been giving quick updates every 15 minutes which Kara duly noted in the log. At 1100 hours they didn't make an update. Kara decided to give them a few more minutes in case their hands were full with something. At 1104, just as she was about to request Alisha make a check, the comm came alive. "Mother this is Cobra, we have a situation here." It was Benz and he sounded a little panicked. Although Kara knew he was a bit high strung, her nerves went on full alert. She took the mic herself to respond. "This is Mother, what's your situation?"

"We've had a small accident while climbing the cliffs. We request that you send the helo to make a rescue." Her heart constricted in fear. Danny. Oh God. If something happened to him after she had pushed him away. "Who?" She knew Frankie would know exactly what she was asking.

"Burk. The ice bollard we were using for a belay point cracked and he fell. Not far, maybe 10, 12 feet. But he seems to be unconscious and his knee is bent at and angle that makes us think he has either dislocated or broken it." She breathed a sigh of relief. And at once felt guilty that she was relieved it wasn't Danny. Burk was one of her best friends, her family, for crying out loud.

"OK." She thought for a brief moment about the procedure and then turned to Alisha. "Lieutenant Granderson, call the rescue team to order immediately. Ensign Huang, Go alert the commander of our situation. If he is DND get the XO. Ensign Ruse, go alert Doc Rios and have him meet the rescue group at the helo." The officers scattered to get the rescue under way.

Kara turned back to the mic. "We're getting the helo team going. We'll update when they are lifting off. In the meantime, is everyone secure?"

She sensed Benz's hesitation more than she heard it. "Franklin?"

"Yeah, well Dr. Scott and Miller and myself are at the top of the cliff. Trophet and Cruz are down in the valley. Green and Halsey were manning the ropes from the bottom."

"Danny's with Burk then?"

"Nooo, Burk's about 20 feet up from the bottom, on a ledge. A narrow ledge. We'd like to get someone down to him but the piton and snarg anchors are at the bottom and it would take Green 30 minutes or more to hike up the back with them."

She heard Dr. Scott in the background. "How long Benz? I am quite afraid that when he wakes he will roll right off that ledge. He's barely on it as it is." Kara's pulse was pounding in her ears. This was Burk. She couldn't sit idly and let him suffer, or worse, die.

"Ma'am?" Alisha was trying to get her attention. "The helo says 15 minutes, they have to clear the frost before they can lift off." Fifteen minutes. Burk could wake and roll to his death in that time.

Another voice came on the comm. "I can free climb it. It'll take me five, maybe 10, minutes and then I can use the anchors to secure him and help the rescue lift as well." It was Danny. She wanted to sigh in relief but she couldn't, not yet. What if he fell too. What if she lost them both?

"Can you climb it safely? Will you be roped?" She tried to hide the worry in her voice and utterly failed.

"Nope. Ah, that's no Ma'am. No rope. No time to get any equipment to anchor with back up to the top. But the rocks are very craggy. You've seen them on the video. I can free climb it." Kara wrung her hands and her stomach roiled. She could possibly be putting two people, two people she cared about, at risk instead of just one.

"XO on the Bridge." The room came to attention.

"At ease. Huang filled me in on the way here. What's this I hear about free climbing?" Slattery addressed Kara directly. She updated him quickly and was surprised when he didn't make an order. "Your bridge, your call Foster." She didn't answer at first. Just stared out over the blue water weighing the possible outcomes. "I guess it comes down to whether or not you trust Green to make an accurate assessment of the hazards and his skills?" Slattery waited, one brow raised questioningly.

Well, that did make it clearer. "Absolutely sir." Back in the command mode she gave the order. "Green, you may proceed to secure Lieutenant Burk as best you can." The comm was filled with sounds of Danny moving rapidly and then intermittent heaves and clangs of equipment as he began climbing. Her first impulse was to tell him his comm was still open but she resisted when she realized that this way she'd know exactly what was happening rather than thinking the worst while she waited for an update.

"Helo says deicing under way, 8 minutes to air." Alisha updated from somewhere behind her prompting Kara to check in with Frankie.

"Benz, the helo is 12 minutes out. How does it look from the top?"

"Green is half way. Burk is beginning to stir." She mentally crossed her fingers that Danny could make it in time.

"He's trying to sit up I think." She heard Dr. Scott calling out "Lieutenant Burk, do not move!"

"Five…more…feet…'till I can see him." Danny's voice gave away his effort as he made an update. While the entire bridge was focused on the comm, Kara's white knuckled grip on the back of the captain's chair was the only indication of her fear. She had seen the cliffs through the drone video and she knew they were very craggy with many handholds and ledges, but the risk of Danny slipping and falling was still high. She heard a low moan from Burk, answered by a string of curses from Danny. "Don't move a muscle Carlton. I'll be there in a second." Danny warned the injured man.

She held her breath and silently prayed. Please, please hold still Carlton. Please be ok…

"What happened?" Carlton's voice was rough and confused but if he was lucid, that was a good sign. Kara let go of the breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"You fell man, 'bout 12 feet." Danny answered before informing the bridge. "Got him. I'm on a ledge about 5 feet down."

They listened as Danny went through the usual injury assessment questions with Burk.

"Skip all that man." Carlton's voice sounded pained. "My head, vision, everything else is fine. My knee is what's killing me."

"Can you move it?" There was a sound of ripping velcro and a corresponding grunt of pain and Kara guessed that Danny was inspecting the injury.

"Fuuuuuuuck that hurt. I think it's dislocated."

"Yeah, looks like it's either dislocated or your patella is broken. I don't think knees are meant to bend that way."

"Yeah man, you ever dislocate a knee?"

Danny laughed. "I wish I could say no. But once the Doc gets it correct you'll feel relief like you have never felt before."

Alisha signaled that Doc Rios was ready and Kara had her patch him in. A few more questions determined that nothing was likely broken and that Burk's circulation beyond his injury was good. "Not much else you can do." Doc Rios advised. "I'll be down there in a few minutes, as soon as I can Carlton. Do what you can to keep him comfortable Green."

"You gonna sing me a song Pavaratti?" Carlton asked Danny. Kara smiled. If he was joking it was probably going to be OK.

"Helo says 6 minutes Ma'am." Alisha updated. For the first time it sank in that she had probably made the right call.

"Nah, the cold is too hard on my voice." Danny quipped back. Kara was tempted to tell him his comm was still on but yet again she resisted. How else would she know that these two men, her family, were OK?

"Well, tell me something interesting to distract me from the pain then." When Danny didn't answer, Carlton continued. "You know, my first assignment was with your father. I can see a lot of him in you." Kara wondered how Danny would take that. From what she could tell, he respected his father, but didn't try to emulate him. Carlton continued. "Yeah, aside from the fact that you are a carbon copy of his looks, you are his total opposite. But, you have been pretty successful in your career too. I've been meaning to ask you what's the most important thing you learned from him."

Next to her Kara saw the XO roll his eyes. "Burk is sometimes so embarrassingly earnest." he muttered.

There was a pause. "Ok, I'll tell you a story about my father and you can draw your own conclusions." Kara was surprised he would do that for Burk when they had some obvious competition in their relationship. Then again, you never knew how compassionate someone was until you put them under the gun.

"My parents divorced when I was 7. You know I have four sisters. Well the two younger ones, the twins, are the product of an affair my father had while still married to my mother, who incidentally was wife number 2." He paused a minute. "Anyhow, he moved out, actually that's when he changed fleets and moved out to San Diego. So I didn't see him much for a few years. When I was 8 he was supposed to come to Norwich for some sub project and my mother talked it up all spring about how I would see him all summer long. Before they split, my father had been my hero so she thought I'd love it. But I was still angry about what he had done, so every time we had a visit scheduled I refused to go. Finally one day in the middle of July, my mother takes me to this marina near our house and leaves me there with him, without warning me ahead."

Carlton broke in. "So you don't get along with him? He seemed like such a good guy, I have a hard time believing he would have abandoned you." Kara was encouraged that his voice sounded stronger than even a minute before.

"Hang on, I'm getting to that part. So he walks me down this dock between these huge yachts and tells me that since I owe him eight dinners at an hour apiece I owe him the entire day. We get to the end of the dock and all I see are a bunch of buckets and brushes so I think he's going to punish me by making me scrape barnacles off a hull or something."

"Did he?"

"Nope. We go around the last boat and there's a brand new Laser sitting there. It was royal blue with a yellow sail. And it said Constance, that's my mother's name by the way, on the side. And he says to me, son, today we are going to share something I love. So we took off and we spent the morning tacking all over the sound." Kara could see it in her head. A sullen kid with freckles, probably a Yankees cap over his unruly hair and his hopeful father looking like an old fashioned version of the adult Danny.

"That's a nice story.." Burk tried to say but Danny interrupted him.

"Oh, that's not even the important part. So by 10 AM we're halfway to Montauk Point and I realize I am starting to get sunburned and we'll never make it back before my mother expects me, plus I have no sunblock, no lunch. So I start to get crabby about it. And he slacks the sail and looks me right in the eye. He says look, we have two options now. We can go all the way to our goal. We'll be sunburned for sure and your mother is going to chew both of us out but that little hurt is nothing compared to the joy we'll get out of making it there together. Or, we can turn back now. We'll still have fun, but we won't get to spend the entire day together, and we're still going to get sunburned and yelled at. I can't make you want to be with me, so which do you want?"

"Please tell me you chose to keep going?"

"Sadly, I didn't. I was a snot faced little brat. I wouldn't have known real wisdom if it hit me in the face. He took me back. I had a terrible sunburn for a week. And while we get along fine, I have barely spent any time with my father, a man everyone tells me is some paragon of military virtue, since then."

"That was a depressing story Green. You are terrible at the distract-the-wounded-comrade-routine man."

"You only said to tell you something I learned. Not all learning has a happy ending." Danny defended himself. "Besides what I learned was super important."

"That your old man was a crap father? You just ruined my hero!" Burk's chuckle was quickly cut off. "Aah crap that hurts."

"No, I learned that some things really are once in a lifetime. I've regretted not continuing on for most of my life since. I should have taken the chance but I chickened out and let a little fear and anger keep me from something that could have been truly good."

"Ma'am. Ma'am?" It took Alisha two tries to get Kara's attention. When she turned around the younger woman was holding up an eyebrow in question. "There's a message for you." You think? Kara almost laughed in self derision. "From the helo crew? They are ready and waiting your order."

Kara tried to focus on the mission again. "Tell them it's a go." She raised the mic to her lips as Alisha sent off the helo. "Green, Benz? Bird is in the air. Prepare for arrival in two minutes."

"Copy that." Benz was first to reply. "We're clearing the slope now so they have a clean work area."

"That was quick." Burk sounded surprised.

"See, my story did it's job. You only have about 2 minutes until Doc gets that knee back in place and pumps you up on painkillers. Any last requests?"

"No more of your downer stories Green. Tell me about your sisters. Are any of them hot?"

"They are my sisters so I am bound by brotherly obligation to tell you they are ugly as sin." This time Burk did laugh without reservation.

The rescue proceeded with no problems. Doc Rios used a basket stretcher to airlift Burk off the cliff and a ladder for Danny so they were back on the ship in minutes. Kara was relieved when the Doc confirmed that it just was a dislocated knee and concussion. Burk would make a full recovery. She directed the rest of the team to return to the ship and Chandler arrived for the next command just as the helo landed. Kara was surprised to see her shift had finished. "Bravo Zulu Foster." Chandler said after her briefing. "A cool head like yours is just what the situation demanded."


	52. Chapter 52 - Something About You

Near misses happen all the time. Earlier this week a young woman in the next neighborhood over just barely escaped a shooting when the bullet grazed her cheek but left no debilitating damage. I can only imagine what she is feeling right now. I think a person who appreciates how lucky they are to have a second chance probably gets to that point by reflecting on what she could have done differently to prevent that situation from ever happening in the first place. And she's probably thinking about how she could live her life differently from now on. If only making changes happen was as easy as deciding for yourself what you're willing to work for. But in real life our stories depend on our own choices layered with those of others. The shooting happened in a good neighborhood that hasn't had much crime of any kind lately. People in that neighborhood have jobs, the streets are lit, people feel safe hanging out on their porches in the evening. But it is an illusion to think that those things protect us. The only thing we have any control over is ourselves, and even then our emotions can steer us against the currents of reason. But second chances give us the gift of appreciating our luck of having made it this far. And every once in a while, we respond in a way that not only affects our lives for the better, but ripples out into our communities as well.

********Something About You, Level 42*****

Kara headed to sick bay straight from the bridge. She needed to see that Carlton was ok for herself. Doc Rios nodded that it was ok to visit when she entered. Carlton was laying propped up on pillows on a cot. He appeared to be sleeping, so she sat beside him on Doc's examination stool. His leg was swathed in a large aircast but Kara could see how swollen his knee was. A few large bruises were beginning to bloom on his arms and face. Kara took his hand in hers and leaned over it saying a prayer of thanks. God, what if he had ended up seriously injured, paralyzed from the fall or worse? What would she have done if Danny hadn't suggested he climb to that ledge. A stab of fear gripped her again. She was so thankful...

"It's OK Kara. I'm f-i-n-e fine." Burk's slurred voice pulled her from her thoughts. "I feel great now."

"Yeah? That's 'cause Doc gave you so much Percoset you'll be high until Friday. You're gonna be hurting when all that wears off." The sound of his voice was so wonderful to her ears.

"Geez Foster don't ruin it for me. Gah, you're shaking like a leaf. Did Doc find some incurable brain disease you have to tell me about now? You and Green both...such downers. Are you...ha ha ha." She rolled her eyes. He really was high. "Are you and Green in some secret club of rotten friends or something?"

She snorted. "Yeah right, me and Green formed a club to keep your ass in one piece." Kara gently kissed the hand she still held and then placed it back on his chest. "But seriously Burk. You are one of my best friends. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you. I'm just so thankful you're OK."

He was already closing his eyes. "You were majestic. Gonna be a great commander one day chica." He said sleepily. "I figure, got 10 days, 2 weeks max before we head to port for fuel. Promise I'll take you and Green out to buy you a round in thanks before he takes off for his next assignment." Two weeks. It suddenly loomed before her. Stunned, she couldn't respond and in the silent moment Carlton's breathing deepened again.

The quiet way Kara tiptoed out of the small room hid the utter chaos in her thoughts. Two weeks, maybe three tops counting the trip home, and then everything would change again. The crew would be reassigned. The Nathan James would likely have a new destination and mission. Perhaps it was because they had been in a communication vacuum, but she didn't feel her usual anticipation of a new adventure this time.

She could tell herself it was because this crew had developed into a more close knit family than most, or her usual anxiety about whether Carlton or Alisha would be reassigned. But she fully expected to stay on the Nathan James and she expected most of the senior staff would remain too. She didn't want to go back to the Congo, but actually with some distance, she had been reminded that it was exactly the kind of thing she'd joined the Navy to do. No, what was setting her stomach churning was the thought that it was highly unlikely that Danny and his team would be back. It was highly unlikely she'd ever work with Danny again. Two weeks. It had already been two weeks since they broke things off. Two weeks since the last time he held her. In two more would she stop longing for the feel of him every time she saw him? Would she stop wishing they could lay in his narrow bunk and talk about what had happened during the day? Would she stop lying in bed at night remembering him moving inside her?

She marched back to her stateroom, trying to look as normal as possible. But her legs suddenly felt unsteady, as if she hadn't spent years at sea. Her heart was pounding in her ears. Was this how Danny had felt after his father turned the Laser back to the Connecticut shore? When she reached her room she went through her after shift routine. She ate a granola bar, gathered her shower kit, exchanged her uniform for a robe all while on autopilot. She didn't know what was going to happen. In fact, she was terrified. So she was going to take a shower and figure it out. She always did her best thinking in the shower.


	53. Chapter 53 - Sledgehammer

This is for the person who really wants a shower scene. Although I have to confess, in my experience the shower is no where near as awesome in reality as it is in fantasy. Take my word on it as a person who has the kind of experience with these matters that results in driving a minivan (or as I've trained my kids to call it "a sport utility wagon". What you really want is a hottub with a good wide deck around it, but destroyers are kind of short on those.

**Sledgehammer, Peter Gabriel**

After coming back from the island on the helo, Danny helped Doc Rios get Carlton's leg set. The physical effort in bracing the other man for the painful re-positioning of his knee managed to distract him for a few minutes at least. But then Carlton was drifting a painkiller haze and he was left alone with his thoughts. He headed up to the deck to meet the RIBs and help stow equipment, his thoughts in a jumble.

He wasn't walking away from her without a fight. He had stood back for the last two weeks and let them both stew in misery but he was done with that now. If there was one thing about his childhood that still made him angry, it was how easily his father gave up. By the time he was 10 he had been hoping for just one little peace offering, but it never came. Now he wondered if his dad had ever felt the same. When they got back to Norfolk, maybe he'd give him a call himself instead of letting Vince tell him he'd made it home.

He spent half an hour helping Cruz and Miller with the unloading. Miller needed some positive reassurance that Burk was OK and that no one could have really prevented the fall so they talked a while. "I just felt so helpless, seeing him hurt like that." Danny realized then that the young man usually relied on Carlton for the peptalks and he wasn't sure what he should say.

After pausing a moment Danny clapped him on the shoulder. "I know, it always feels like that. But things are going to go wrong sometimes and the more we train, the better we get at responding. You did fine out there."

8 bells sounded and right on cue his stomach growled. The group headed for the mess. Danny hardly tasted the meatloaf and potatoes. His mind was busy with big questions. What could he say that he hadn't said already? She was still likely to push him away, but he owed it to himself to make that one last try.

He wasn't sure where to find her, but he figured she was sure to visit Burk before doing anything else. But when he stuck his head in the infirmary Dic Rios shooed him away. "Like I told Lieutenant Foster, he'll be fine, but he needs his rest."

"Oh, so she was already here?" Danny tried not to sound too eager but feared he failed miserably.

"Left 10 minutes ago."

"Thanks Doc." Danny continued on to check the gym, the wardroom, and the aft deck where she sometimes took in the fresh air. There was no sign of her. He did however get several high fives and other cheers for the rescue. It felt good and at the same time it reminded him that his missions were usually in remote places, often without much oversight from leadership or public notice. It was an unusual feeling to be counted as part of a larger team. Still, there was only one person he really wanted to celebrate with so he made a quick exit and continued searching.

Resigning himself to the fact that he was going to have to knock on her door, which meant he risked her shutting it in his face, he headed toward their staterooms. Rounding the final corner he squared his shoulders and took a deep breath. His stomach was in knots. His heart pounding. He was going to put himself out there and then he was going to accept whatever she said. He wondered if his father had felt like this every time he tried to get Danny to come to dinner with him. God, it had been so easy to get wrapped up in his own anger and not even notice his father's hurt.

He was almost at her door when he noticed the room opposite was wide open. Cheng Garnett stood in the doorway checking her pockets. "Lose my own head if..." She looked up from her muttering and saw him. "Hi Green. Nice job out there today." Her warm smile reminded him again that this crew had become his family, his support. He owed that to Kara. If it hadn't been for her, he wouldn't have attended so many social events and become a real part of the crew.

"Thanks but I think we owe it to Lieutenant Foster. It was her quick thinking that kept Burk from falling farther. "

"Well then you two make a good team." She replied. He smiled and headed for his room. He couldn't very well knock on Kara's door with Garnett watching right there.

But just before he passed the bathroom the sultry scent of her pomegranate shampoo hit him. He ducked inside. Yes, those were her toes showing beneath the curtain. Whether it was the steam from her shower or his hyped up nerves, he suddenly felt a cold sweat break out. This was going to be it. It can't get any worse than now he reminded himself. She was humming. It was an off key version of some 80's song that he vaguely recognized. She's happy, he realized. Happy without me, he thought. Still, if I don't suck it up and try then I'll never know. I'll always regret not doing it.

Quietly, he slid the lock on the door to the hallway. He stopped outside the curtain. "Kara?" he asked softly. There was no response but the humming stopped. "Kara, can I talk with you when you're done?" He paused, his ears straining over the hammering of his heart which felt like it was in the back of his throat. What if she said no?

She stuck her head out, tension evident in the wrinkled forehead. "What's wrong? Did something happen with Carlton?" There was a look of wild panic in her eyes.

He was quick to reassure her. "No, no he's fine. I just passed through the infirmary and he was sleeping peacefully. Doc Rios told me not to bother him." Her relief was palpable even if the wrinkle stayed firmly wedged between her eyes. A collection of bubbles was threatening to slump down into one eye and he raised his hand to smooth it back over her head without thinking.

"What are you doing then?" Her eyes widened in confusion.

He knew what she was asking but he stalled in fear all the same. Stepping a fraction closer he leaned in. "You have a little soap about to run in your eye." With the thumb of his raised hand he smoothed it back over her brow. Her response surprised him. She closed her eyes at his touch. A little startled hum escaped her lips. The drum of the water on the curtain matched his heart.

"No, what are you doing here, talking to me?" She asked, eyes still closed, head tilted back into his palm, one eyebrow raised in question.

"I came to ask you something." He replied. God if she said no he was going be…a vision of a lonely life focused on his career stretched out before him. He'd end up in some kind of Somali pirate's prison camp or being buried by an avalanche in Pakistan and no one would care, if she said no.

But the tiniest little smile was inching up one corner of her lips. And the feeling of anticipatory tension in her muscles egged him on. He smiled cautiously then. "Did you mean it when you said you trusted me, earlier, before you sent me to get Burk?"

"Yes, of course." She sounded so sure, so confident in him. The little uplift at the corner of her mouth shifted to a grin. His heart soared. She seemed to lean even more heavily back on his hand "Good."

"Was that all you wanted to ask me?" She still hadn't opened her eyes.

He panicked momentarily. She wasn't freaking out with anxiety or sending him away. The argument he had prepared for wasn't happening either. For a brief second he was at a loss for words. "Yeah, um, it can wait until later. Maybe, come chat with me when you're done?" He should go back to his room and think this over.

He began to release her and her eyes popped open.

"You know what?" she stared into his eyes. It was the first time she had really looked him in the eye since she pushed him away two weeks ago.

He stared right back, his retreat and regroup strategy abandoned. Her pupils were blown and her eyes wide. He felt her shift before he realized she was pulling back the curtain between them. "What?" He breathed out as she looped an arm over his neck. He was sure his longing to have her back in his life must be showing in his eyes. He brought his arms around her and the pouring water began to soak through his shirt.

She pulled him into the shower, hard against her, and all the places they touched were instantly both excited and comforted to be together again. "I realized something today." Warm water was rushing over them both. His boots muddied the floor. "This can't wait." Her wet open mouthed kiss was like coming home.

When they finally came up for air they rested their foreheads against one another. Kara was the first to speak. "I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen, how this is ever going to work, and I don't like that. But whatever happens, I want to be there for you. I can't not be there for you."

He used his thumbs to smooth the water off her upturned cheeks. "I want to be there for you too."

"So, we're going to do this thing for real this time?" He had to be sure. "I can't re-up our previous agreement. I need all or nothing."

"All or nothing." She confirmed, her square jaw confident, her hazel eyes sparkling beneath the delicate drops of water on her lashes.


	54. Chapter 54 - Melt With You

The time has come the walrus said...to thank you all for kindly sticking with this story through the end. My utmost appreciation to all of you who have written such nice reviews. It is so wonderful to connect with other fans of the show. I am super excited for next week and all the new fics the show will prompt on our little fandom. See you again soon. -EWB

**Melt With You, Modern English **

"Two more days Kara. I don't think I can take two more days lying here trussed up like this." Carlton threw an arm over his eyes in mock drama.

She set a pile of magazines on the small hospital tray and pulled up a chair. "I did what I could but we're scraping the bottom of the barrel for entertainment as it is. Benz sent you three copies of the swimsuit edition, Miller had a Field & Stream, and Dr. Trophet donated two copies of The Economist. Plus I got the entire Star Trek Deep Space Nine series on DVD from one of the newbie engineers." She flopped into the hard plastic chair and grinned at Carlton. Want me to come back for a binge watching session later?"

"Nah." He used his arms to pull himself to a sitting position against the end wall of the bunk. "I want you to go socialize and then come back and tell me all the gossip. I've been in here two days already and I feel like I've missed tons of exciting stuff. It sucks that Rios won't let me just go sit somewhere else. He says it was a bad sprain but nothing is permanently damaged so I don't see how it would affect my healing."

Kara had to resist the urge to pat his head and tell him patience was a virtue. Men were such babies about injuries after all. "He just wants to wait until all the swelling is gone so he can get a better look at everything and then he'll let you start moving around again. You're lucky to have the rest. My staff and I have been run ragged this week. Dr. Scott has been keeping up the double days schedule on the ice and Slattery gave a bunch of team building exercises to do because Barkley and I need to work on our..." she air quoted "united front." She grabbed a pack of cards from the shelf by his feet and began to shuffle. "But, I do have some interesting news for you today."

He leaned forward. "Yeah? Anything juicy? Did Cruz finally lose it on Cossetti and do more than just threaten to keel haul him? Were Dr. Scott and the Captain caught in a wild affair?"

"We need to get you a pen and paper so you can write these wild ideas down Burk. They'd be great ideas for a TV show." She rolled her eyes and continued. "No, but the poker game last night was a font of interesting tidbits. Everyone is getting excited to finish up this training in a couple of days and get back home." She began dealing cards.

"Gin rummy?" He started sorting his hand at her short nod. "Any word yet on when?"

"No, Chandler says we will be done with our last exercise at the end of the week, then we'll check in. Dr. Scott says the birds she's working on will begin migration south in a few weeks."

He nodded and laid down a card to start the game. "More than a few people want to migrate back south too."

Kara carefully picked a card and then laid down her selection. "Yeah, so did anyone tell you about Alisha's big news?" She watched him expectantly as he reached for another card.

"Nope."

"She and Sarah are going to try for a baby when they get back." She couldn't help but smile. They were one of her favorite couples after all.

Carlton smiled widely too. "Seriously! That's awesome. I call dibs on the godfather position!" He slapped down another card.

"Ha, ha. I have never met a man who likes kids as much as you do. You need to get some of your own."

"You can't say I haven't tried but the ladies..."

A knock sounded from the doorway and she looked up to see Danny leaning on the door frame. "What's this, you and Burk are doing a little family planning? Slattery is not going to like that one bit." His eyes sparkled as he pulled up a chair beside Kara. Halsey circled the room sniffing the antiseptic smells and then trotted over to the bed to rub against Burk's outstretched hand.

"Come to keep me company or just to leave the dog?" Carlton's scratches behind the dog's ears were met with a loud thumping of his tail against the bunk.

"I can stay a while, deal me into the next game. The fur ball can stay as long as you want. He earned me and Miller a scolding when he knocked over Dr. Scott's case this afternoon." They shared a laugh.

Kara took in Danny's ruddy cheeks and windblown hair. "Did you just rotate off the ice now?"

"Yeah, Dr. Scott is getting downright frantic about her birds. Gave Cruz hell when he grumped that next time she should pick tropical birds to research."

They passed cards and played quietly for a few minutes. "So what was this I hear about you and the ladies Carlton?" Danny broke the silence.

Kara poked Burk on his good leg. "He has the worst luck. Always crushing on women who are unavailable or crazy or just downright mean for whatever reason. I don't understand it. You're a good looking guy Burk. You should do way better."

"Yeah, Yeah, I know. Before we left my Mama said she knew a nice girl from church. Maybe I'll try that."

Danny threw back his head and laughed. "Skip the nice girls from church. You need a strategy man."

Carlton noticed how Kara's eyes went straight to Danny's. "A strategy? Meeting and starting a relationship isn't some kind of game you can win with the right strategy." She huffed and a tendril of hair fell from her neat updo over her eyes. "You should go meet that woman your mother wants to introduce you to. You never know. Don't play games. Just go and be yourself."

Carlton had to fight not to grin at Kara's obvious disagreement with Green. Well, well. It was pretty hard to ruffle her feathers. "Hey now, wait a second. Maybe he can help me out." Adjusting his splinted leg so he could face Danny more completely he asked "So what do you suggest, as far as strategy goes. I'm not looking for one night stands, mind you. I'm shopping for a wife."

Kara shook her head. "Nevermind shopping for a wife. You need to start with finding someone who lives up to your high standards and will go on a date with you first."

"Nope." Kara and Carlton stared at Danny who was shaking his head. "That's not the way to do it. Look, there are three simple rules man. Follow them and you are golden."

Kara snorted again. "Nothing about dating is simple. It's messy and stupid and unpredictable. And there are way more than three rules."

Eyes narrowed, Carlton looked between the two of them, facing off over the bed table. " Yeah, if these three rules are so good, why were you moping when you got on board?" He asked Danny pointedly.

Kara shuffled the deck with a snap. "Yeah? How'd that work for you?"

Danny's eyes were still sparkling. "It's going to work out great. When we get back I'm going to ask her to move in with me."

Kara's hands stilled on the cards and she looked at Danny with disbelief. He gave a tiny nodded and turned back to Carlton, talking animatedly. "OK, so Rule number 1, always start with the end in mind. If you're wife shopping you need to find out if this girl is husband shopping. If she's not, no length of time is going to change things and you might as well move on. Rule number 2, be 100% honest in everything and I mean everything...OK, I might have broken that one a little bit, which is why she was pissed at me, and I deserved it." He glanced at Kara out of the corner of his eye. Her lips were pressed firmly together but the wrinkles at the corner of her eyes told him she was suppressing a smile. "Rule number 3, take the risk. The best thing in your life isn't going to be waiting on the shelf in the library. It's going to be where and when you least expect it. So don't hold back."

If Carlton found it odd that Kara didn't continue her argument he kept it to himself. "So you've had it work out then, following those rules?"

"Yep. Once."

"And this girl, she's going to say yes?"

"I think so."

"When did you know?"

"What do you mean when did I know?"

"That she was worth taking a risk on?"

Kara's gaze swung to meet Danny's. Her eyes were wide and dark. This would be interesting.

"I think I knew about thirty minutes before I met her."

"Before you met her?" Carlton looked to Danny for confirmation.

"Long story."

Carlton tilted his head toward Kara. "Well, his advice has a higher success rate than yours Kara. You've never even been..."

"Once." She interrupted him, still looking at Danny.

"Once what?"

"Those rules have pretty much worked for me once too." She ducked her head sheepishly but Carlton could see the smile on her lips too. He wasn't sure if they were playing with him or what.

"Are you talking about your thing before we left in June? I thought that was a disaster?" he asked.

She shrugged. "We'll see."

Later that night they were curled side by side. Danny's arm was slung over Kara's waist and she was idly stroking the little bumps made by his freckles.

"Carlton's going to be pretty shocked when I ask him to help me move in a couple weeks." Kara whispered.

She couldn't help but smile when the muscles of his forearm tensed under her fingertips. "Yeah?" She could feel the anticipation in his muscles.

"Yeah, no point wasting anyone's time."


End file.
